That, to your left, is my drug of choice. Captain Morgan's Spiced Rum. Oh, Captain! My Captain! It can take the bland taste of an ice laden tub of Diet Coke and turn it into a flavorful soda that, in large enough quantities, can turn a stressed out lawyer into a giggling smart ass in about 30 minutes.
The best bargain prices on such a fine spirit are those on these 1750 ml bottles. They can sometimes be had on sale for under $20, but not often. Of course, there are always those who want the buzz, but lack the means to buy it, and they turn to theft.
That's why the grocery store puts those big black caps on the tops. You see, the big black tops make the alarm sound when you stuff the thing down your pants and walk out without paying. But, say, only about half of the bottles have that little black alarm cap. Wouldn't most thieves just decide to steal one of those instead? I asked the manager that. He didn't have an answer. Maybe it's a trade secret. Maybe it's just to freak out the already drunk guys and trick them into thinking that they'll never get away with the crime. He wouldn't say.