After two nights and four hours of watching Ryan Seacrest hosting American Idol, I have changed my view of him one hundred percent. Dude is the freaking master of keeping a straight face and letting clowns make fools of themselves. I could never in a million years develop the talent of taking seriously a contestant like Kenneth Briggs.
Simon was almost right when he said to Briggs: "You look like the creatures that live in the jungle with those massive eyes." He then got it wrong by guessing that they are "bush babies." Wrongo, Simon. You're thinking of these guys: the Quiznos Spongemonkeys.
Kenneth wasn't the biggest freak at singing, but he was the oddest looking contestant ever, and it was embarrassing to watch him take himself seriously. The odd looking female (the thin-faced fat-bodied chick, with red leg stockings and arm stockings, who was missing her front middle tooth) had a much better attitude, and when she failed to nail the audition, it was clear that she knew she'd missed it.
Seacrest, however, treated them all with respect, and acted as if he was as surprised and disappointed as each pathetic singer, from "the Hotness" to the lisping red "karoky" singing lumberjack, to the fat kid, to the nerd with each of his eyes pointing in a different direction, to the Taylor Hicks wannabe, to the braless half-dweeb/half-Courtney Love with the boobs flopping around the bottom of her blouse, Seacrest handled them brilliantly. Seacrest, you rock.