Here are the April Demiblog links:
- USC powers to top
- The coolest girls' sports story of the year
- Legless lizard may be new species
- For $10,000, former terrorists will explain 'why we want to kill you'
- Dallas man freed by DNA testing after 27 years in prison
- Obama outraged by former pastor's comments
- Lakers sweep Denver; first time any 50+ win team has been swept in the first round
- Now, even airlines you've never heard of are filing for bankruptcy.
- Tape Recording Reveals Minister's Incest Habit
- Coachella "Amnesty cans" encourage festival-goers to dump their stash legally. Cops claim it yielded 400 PCP-laced cigarettes last year. Oh, that and a bunch of apples with razor blades inside them
- PSA: You can't take your Marine boyfriend to prom is he is old enough to score you beer
- In Tunisia, you might be charged with rape if you make sexytime over the telephone
- Reno's earthquake swarm keeps getting worse
- This is why American kids should not party in Tijuana anymore
- Have solved its more pressing issues, Florida moves to ban fake bull testicles on trucks
- Nuggets hold Kobe to 22 points for their first moral victory of the playoffs. Lakers still up 3-0 in real victories.
- Wildfire season comes early to Southern California this year.
- Hire your own paparazzi, loser.
- Brazilian priest has apparently become the first Christian in almost 2000 years to ascend directly to heaven without dying first
- Shark kills swimmer in Solana Beach
- Humans nearly wiped out 70,000 years ago
- Nancy Pelosi makes up shit and says its from the Old Testament. She probably figured none of her constituents ever read the thing, so what could possibly go wrong?
- Mom of the year candidate took her kids to 500 doctor's appointments in 10 years, whether they needed it or not
- Judge sentences Wesley Snipes to 3 years in PMITA prison for tax convictions
- The Roof! The Roof! The Roof is on fire!
- Soon, a bunch of kids are going to roll ito math class and ask "Is our teacher that dude who sang "She Bangs" on American Idol?"
- Politics 101: "Just because they asked me to" is not a good reason to play keynote speaker at a Hitler birthday celebration
- Book speculates Jesus was fathered by Roman who assaulted Mary. Christians Wonder: WWMD? (What would Muslims do?)
- Rich Rodriguez is off to such a good start that a starting lineman just transferred to tOSU as a walk-on
- Yale Miscarriage Artist Aliza Shvarts Explains Her Warped Mind
- Florida Senate Passes Bill to Let Teachers Bag on Evolution in Class
- Tony Blair jumps his fare
- "Lynchings in Congo as penis theft panic hits capital"
- Would we have let Nazi Germany host an Olympics?
- The NFL Draft Has Already Started. The Dolphins sign Michigan tackle Jake Long. The Rams Are Now On The Board.
- Darwin Just Misses With Road-Rager
- DSB Found to Cause Prostate Cancer
- Muslims call to adopt Mecca time Instead of GMT, Because "Science Has Proven That Mecca is the Center of the Earth"
- Scientists Explain Red Sea Parting and Other Miracles
- Free Speech, Soviet Style: Russian Paper Closed After Running Putin Marriage Story
- ACLU Rushes to Aid of Texas Polygamist Who Want to "Be With" their kids
- Last weekend, you were much safer in Baghdad than in Chicago
- The Oklahoma City SuperSonics?
- The Color of Plants on Other Worlds: Theoretically, Red, Blue, Black...
- To the list of things we all have in common with Enrique Iglesias, add "Anna Kournikova won't marry us."
- Needles, California, Wants to Become Part of Nevada.
- Photography is not a crime. Most places.
- Disney pulls plug on virtual world
- Never Ask A Cow For Help, or What Life in the Pen Can Make a Guy Do
- Jury Convicts Wicked Old Hags Who Murdered Homeless Dudes for Fun and Profit
- William Shatner discovers that everyone in Star Trek hated him.
- 17-Year-Old Sophomore at Fresno High School Brings a Bat to a Police Shootout, With Predictable Results
- Angry Broadway Wife Tries Divorce-by-YouTube Humiliation
- Feds to collect DNA from every person they arrest
- PSA: Yes, when you go into surgery to have a household object removed from your overly-sexualized anus, they will laugh at you while you sleep
- Your appendix can be removed through your mouth. Mine is already gone. (P.S. Ouch)
- Company plans to erect two-mile-high building. God prepares to make all the construction workers speak different languages. Oh, wait, that already happens.
- Lethal injection is neither cruel nor unusual.
- Marilyn Monroe sex tape story appears to be a hoax
- Zimbabwe President urges more discrimination against whites, whom he calls "pink noses"
- Men Are More, What ... What?
- Scientists make Neanderthals speak again. "Cro-Magnons suck," says the first one interviewed.
- Last of Walt Disney's "Nine Old Men" dies
- Pete Carroll names Mark Sanchez as USC starting QB
- Lakers clinch the best record in the west with 124-101 win over Sacramento.
- Fans protest end of Disney online game - UPI
- PSA: The Myth About Your Dog's Mouth Being Clean is Just a Myth. It Could Have MRSA or Salmonella From Licking it Backside
- Grades bench Joe McKnight for the Spring, not expected to affect 2008 season eligibility
- Britney Spears has minor accident. It's not news, it's CNN
- Superstitious Yankees Jackhammer Out The Red Sox Shirt in Their Cement
- PSA: The Aliens Will Only Take The Willing, When They "Rescue" Us From a Black Hole in the Near Future
- Old and Busted: Karen Carpenter. New and Busted: Amy Winehouse. With Thigh Tendon Photo Goodness.
- Boston College Wins NCAA Hockey Title. Notre Dame Does Not.
- To Close a "Loophole", Maine Legislature Contemplated Making It a Felony To "View Children" in Public
- Because Three is Never Enough, Frontier Airlines Becomes the 4th Bankrupt Airline in a Month
- Busted! Murderer Cesar Laurean Caught by FBI in Mexico
- House passes Chinese crackdown resolution by margin of 413 to Ron Paul
- A very cool picture of Phobos, the 13.5 mile wide moon of Mars
- One More Year? Not for USC's O.J. Mayo.
- Hillary's story about a pregnant woman dying because she was denied service over lack of insurance and the $100 admission fee is totally true, except for the part about her not having insurance. Or being denied care. Or getting charged $100.
- Scientists take performance-enhancing drugs, too.
- Fully Half of All Foreclosed Homes Get Trashed Before Former Owners Leave
- Photo Depicts Happy Happy Cops Discovering Pot Plants in Burning Building
- You Need This Thudguard Helmet For Your Baby
- Student Who Got Into Yale by Fraud is Exposed and Expelled After Gay Lovers' Spat.
- FBI agent reveals Sonny Bono was clubbed to death by hit men before he slammed into that tree.
- Obama delegate quits after calling kids in a tree "monkeys". What a racist! (?)
- Larry King Freaks Out at 9-year-old Son's Little League Game. In Related News, That Dude was Still Making Babies in His 60s.
- If you recently told a homeless guy in Santa Monica to DIAF, you're going to hell, dude.
- USC Appears to Favor Mark Sanchez as Starter at QB
- Virtual Magic Kingdom (VMK) to close its virtual gates
- PSA: Sam Adams Recalls Beer
- In India, If You Are Two-Faced, You Are Treated as a Goddess. In America, If You Are Two-Faced, You Become a Politician.
- Christians Complain About School Day With Dress-Up As a Senior Citizen or Member of the Opposite Sex
- You May Now Pry The Gun From Charlton Heston's 84-Year-Old Hands
- Police Raid Car Enthusiast Rally to Bust Would-Be Street Racers, Make Governmenty Profit
- USA 2008: The Great Depression (With Pictures of "Destitute Americans in Bread Lines, Wearing Designer Clothes and Adjusting Their iPods)
- PSA: Your Darwin Fish Sticker Is Hate, Man!
- You, Too, Can Sleep With an NFL Player's Girlfriend, If You're the Cop Who Caught Him Drinking and Driving
- This Time, It's Borat Getting Away From The Banker Dude Running Down The Street
- Body Found In 1994 Identified As Runaway, Now That, in 2008, Her Parents Filed a Missing Persons Report
- From Anorexic to MILF
- Average British family eats the same six meals every week
- New Studies Show More Bias Against Fat-Asses Than Whatever Race You Happen to Hate
- Bible To Get Reworked and Modernized, e.g., Jesus Was Born in a Crowded House
- TSA Forces Woman To Remove Nipple Rings For Flight
- Sirhan Sirhan Might Might Have Have Had Had Second Second Shooter Shooter
- BMW Dealer Sells New M3 on eBay, Refuses to Honor Winning Bid of $60K
- Miami Hurricanes' Spokesman Fired For Having "Inappropriate Pornography" on School-Owned Computer. Search to Begin for Replacement With Nothing But "Appropriate Pornography" on His Computer.
- Problem: Teenage Girl Meets 19-Year-Old Molester. Solution: Sue Myspace.
- Islamic Nations To Consider Severing Diplomatic Ties With the Netherlands Because Some Dutch Guy Made a 15-Minute Anti-Muslim Video
- If Your Employees Complain That Their New Computers Don't Have Video Games, It Might be Time to Hire New People
- When Drafting an Honor Code Regarding Plagiarism, It Is Considered Poor Form to Just Copy Someone Else's
- PSA: Taping a Fully-Dressed Cheerleading Performance Is Now Chargeable As Felony Child Pornography. In Related News, Your Teenage Son Is Never Going To Be Able to Live Nears Schools or Parks as an Adult
- All Your Students' Educations Are Belong To Us
- Starbucks Plans to Ignore Court Order and Let Managers Snag Baristas' Tips
- Cubans Can Stay in Hotels. In Related News, It Used to be Illegal for Cubans to Stay in Hotels
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