lex icon: June 2008

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June 2008 Demiblog Links

Here were the June quasiblog links:

June 30, 2008 in Weblogs | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

The Dodgers beat the Angels 1-0 yesterday, even though the Angels threw a no-hitter. But it wasn't actually a no-hitter, because the Dodgers didn't bat in the ninth inning. So Weaver and Arredondo combined for 8 innings, no hits, a loss, and not even an official no-hitter.

June 29, 2008 in Sports | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

Apes given human rights

"Spain's parliament voiced its support on Wednesday for the rights of great apes to life and freedom in what will apparently be the first time any national legislature has called for such rights for non-humans."

This raises so many questions: will an ape now have the right to shag any human she can persuade to bed her? What is the age of consent is going to be? Bonobos reach maturity at 6-8 years. Will chimpophiles be able to raise as a defense that the chick looked like she was over 8? Are apes who work over 8 hours a day going to be entitled to overtime? When we let them vote, what language are we going to have to add to the ballot to accommodate them? Can gay chimps marry?

But with rights come responsbilities. Will poop-flinging monkeys finally be brought to justice? What punishment should they be given? Is the death penalty going to be cruel and unusual punishment for a chimp? What if a chimp rapes a child? Can we tax them now? I already asked the gorilla on the left, and he communicated a clear and concise response that was not what I was looking for.

June 25, 2008 in Law | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

What do you call the losingest champion in College World Series History?

Champions, man. Fresno State, 47-31, wins the College World Series, defeating some overrated SEC team also known as the Bulldogs.

June 25, 2008 in Sports | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBack (0)

Lex TV 173

Here are another dozen interesting or amusing videos:

Tunak Tunak Tun is good, but bogus English subtitles make it great.

Carlin on having a nice day.

Dude falls off a bike and remounts before it falls. Staged, sure, but funny nonetheless.

There can be only one ... Celtics fan this stupid.

Mariah Carey tosses out the first ball.

The original trailer for the 1966 classic, War of the Gargantuas.

The Green Gargantua eats a lady at the airport.

How not to stop an airplane.

Two rocks. Two scores.

Shaq raps about Kobe as proves to the world that he's not over their breakup.

Al Gore: Do as I say, not as I do.

How JC Penney just lost my business.

June 25, 2008 in Video | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

Tuesday Travel Photo (No. 184)

We booked just one excursion directly through out cruise ship during the last cruise. We did a snorkeling and drinking catamaran trip on St. Kitt's. It took us to a place call Shitten Bay. I am Shitten you not. I didn't know that when I booked it. The crew and the boat were fine, but the bay was, frankly, a bit weak. At one point, my wife, still on the boat, asked me how the snorkeling was, and not knowing that the cruise ship's film guy was taping me, I said "Meh, Grand Cayman it ain't." This was about as good as it got. But we had fun.

A few minutes after I took this picture, my wife dropped her digital camera into the water and it sank to the bottom. We fished it out, took out the battery and memory card, rinsed it with clean water, then drenched it in vodka and left it to dry out in the sun. When we came home, it still didn't work quite right, so we sent it out to be repaired under our extended warranty. Now it's as good as new.

June 24, 2008 in Photographs | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBack (0)

Random presurgery news thoughts

As I get ready for yet another round of surgery today, here's what I've been paying attention to in the news.

The Celtics left no question about who was the best team in the NBA this year. It wasn't my Lakers. Maybe next year, with a healthy Kobe, a healthy Bynum and maybe a defensive stopper via free agency. For this season, the only question left to be answered is whether the Celtics are going to give Kevin McHale a championship ring.

If you love to follow conspiracy theories about the NBA and you point to the Kings losing game 6 to the Lakers in 2002 as the most obvious evidence, don't read this article by OC Register columnist Mark Whicker. It'll kill your buzz.

Stanford cost another #1 team a national championship this year. This time, it was Miami. I don't feel so bad this time.

You know how to tell whether a pregnant lady is going to be a great mom? Me, neither. But I know how to tell she's going to be a crappy mom: she was one of the under-16 crowd who vowed to do whatever it took, including sleeping with 24-year-old homeless guys, so they could all have babies together during high school. No husbands, no earning ability, no education, no maturity, no judgment, no common sense, no parenting skills. Those poor babies.

PSA: If you are a reporter who gets lucky enough to get assigned to cover three murders that you actually committed, be sure to limit the subject of your articles to facts that the police have publicly released. If you include a couple of details known only to the killer, and you are bound to get caught.

Just when you thought that the Westboro Baptists couldn't be more offensive, they decided to picket Tim Russert's funeral. The world would be a better place if it was legal to punch these asshats into the dirt.

If you like socialized medicine, apparently there is already a ~~great~~ place for you to live right here in the United States. State officials in Oregon "have offered a lung cancer patient the option of having the Oregon Health Plan, set up in 1994 to ration health care, pay for an assisted suicide but not for the chemotherapy prescribed by her physician." We're afraid we can't approve your doctor's chemo prescription for your lung cancer, but can we interest you in some assisted-suicide medication?

The usual collection of lawyer haters are screaming about this latest dumb lawsuit, a scratched cornea personal injury lawsuit brought by a traffic cop who apparently stretched her g-string in ways a g-string should not be stretched and had a metal piece fly off and into her eye. She missed several days of work and even, gasp, had to take a topical steroid to cure the injury, and now she's going to affected for life. She seems fine now, and has no problems a little money in an undisclosed amount couldn't resolve. The plaintiff's lawyer, Jason Buccat, is catching a lot of heat, but people should cut the boy some slack. He's only been a lawyer for a month. And he's a Bruin. He'll get better.

The current gas crisis is calling the 1970s to mind for a lot of folks. Let's hope it doesn't bring with it a nostalgic revival of 1970s music sucktitude. Bread, Mac Davis, Glen Campbell, Captain & Tennille, Harry Chapin, Chicago, John Denver, Dan Fogelberg, Gordon Lightfoot, Loggins & Messina, Barry Manilow, Michael McDonald, The Osmonds, Linda Rondstadt, Seals & Crofts, Carly Simon. Ugh, the only thing worse that gas at $5 a gallon is gas at $5 a gallon with utter crap playing on your car stereo.

The doctors told me to bring a CD for the post-op recovery room. I'm bringing the Cure's Disintegration and that new Vida something or other from Coldplay.

June 23, 2008 in Random Thoughts | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBack (0)

Ah, F*ck, Man

Entertainment lost a unique talent tonight. RIP George Carlin, you stayed funny for decades longer than any of your peers.

June 22, 2008 in Film, Newsworthy, Sarcasm | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

Ranking ten movies I recently watched on DVD (No. 4)

I'll rate them with pluses, one to five. Another collection from the Netflix vaults:

Casablanca +++++ I always wanted to rent this. It was great.
The Notebook +++ This was really good for a chick flick.
Madagascar +++ A good film for the family to watch together
Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World +++ Entertaining.
King Kong +++ I'd rather have watched the old black and white one again.
Good Night, and Good Luck +++ Objectively speaking, I guess it was good.
Firewall ++ Contrived. Predictable. But action-packed.
V for Vendetta ++ Weird is not necessarily good.
The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou ++ Just wasn't my cup of tea.
Jarhead ++ Apocalypse Now for the new generation? Not as good.

June 21, 2008 in Film | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

USC's 2008 Football Schedule

Here are the dates, times, locations and known TV broadcasting schedules for the Trojans' 2008 football season, just released:

August 30 @ Virginia (3:30 p.m., ABC)
September 13 - Ohio State (5:00 p.m., ABC)
September 25 @ Oregon State (6:00 p.m., ESPN)
October 4 - Oregon (5:00 p.m., ABC)
October 11 - Arizona State (TBA)
October 18 @ Washington State (12:30 p.m., FSN)
October 25 @ Arizona (7:15 p.m., FSN)
November 1 - Washington (TBA)
November 8 - California (5:00 p.m., ABC)
November 15 @ Stanford (4:00 p.m., Vs.)
November 29 - Notre Dame (5:00 p.m., ABC)
December 6 @ UCLA (1:30 p.m., ABC)

The Washington game will be homecoming. The Oregon State will be a Thursday night game.

June 20, 2008 in USC Football | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

What the heck is this thing?

They are building some strange structure in L.A., just across the 101 from the Queen of Angels cathedral. I can't tell what it is, but it looks like it would be fun to slide down the thing.

June 19, 2008 in Observations | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBack (0)

$5 gas

The headlines on Yahoo, CNN and AOL warn people that $5 a gallon gas is coming, and sooner than people might think. I just dropped $4.95 9/10 on premium. When do I think the $5 mark is going to hit me? Next time I fill up, that's when.

June 18, 2008 in Money | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

Lex TV 172

Here are another dozen interesting or amusing videos:

If you love motorcycle crashes, you should have gone to this race.

Triumph the Insult Comic Dog hits the Belmont Stakes.

Some Bill O'Reilly lackey tries to ambush Bill Moyers.

Not surprisingly, the O'Reilly edit makes it look like Moyers is the jerk.

Watch O'Reilly accept the LGBT Pink Brick award on his show.

"World of World of Warcraft" allows you to play a nerd playing "World of Warcraft". Next up: World of World of World of Warcraft.

Some of the best explosions are BLEVEs, which mean boiling liquid expanding vapor explosion.

A Cheaters episode wherein a goth girl walks in on her boyfriend shooting a dirty movie. Awkward.

A classic B-52s video: Give me back my man.

J.K. Rowling's commencement address at Harvard. Part two here.

Pride and Prejudice meets Harry Potter.

The Hawaii chair. This looks like fun for the first ten minutes you own it. Then, not so much.

June 18, 2008 in Video | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

Bad numbers

A numerologist pointed out that today is 6/17. Out in the 617 (Boston area code), the Celtics hope to win game 6 and take their 17th NBA title. I don't like these signs.

June 17, 2008 in Sports | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

Tuesday Travel Photo (No. 183)

This is a view of the waterfront area, as seen from our cruise ship, of the port town of Roseau, Dominica. Roseau is the capitol city of Dominica. The town has just 14,000 residents. To enjoy the island, you have to get out of Roseau, however, and see the interior of the island. Dominica has been nicknamed the "Nature Isle of the Caribbean" for its lush jungles and curious geothermal volcanic features, including numerous hot springs, steam vents and a boiling lake.

According to our taxi driver, one of the reasons the town is so colorful is that they need to paint the rooftops to prevent the volcanic fumes from eating away at the roofs between hurricanes.

June 17, 2008 in Photographs | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

Random thoughts from the ides of June

Graduation ceremonies are supposed to be sophisticated, quiet, dignified affairs. Clapping and hooting and hollering and standing can get you arrested and cost your graduate his or her diploma. That's a step up, I guess, from just denying a diploma to the person you clapped for. That apparently became too wide open to abuse as soon as rednecks realized you could screw over some graduate you hated by telling people to clap for them.

According to a survey just published, intelligent people are total ingrates. God blesses them with superior intelligence and they respond by not believing in Him. An interesting article, to say the least; and the best part is that you can discuss the survey results with almost anyone and expect a calm, reasonable, respectful and informative conversation to follow.

The Senate report headline confirms it. Bush lied. People died. The body of the report is not so clear. On Iraq's nuclear weapons program: The president's statements "were generally substantiated by intelligence community estimates." On biological weapons, production capability and mobile laboratories: "substantiated by intelligence information." On chemical weapons: "Substantiated by intelligence information." On weapons of mass destruction in general: "Generally substantiated by intelligence information." On ballistic missiles: "Generally substantiated by available intelligence." On unmanned aerial vehicles that could deliver WMDs: "Generally substantiated by intelligence information." Maybe your bumper sticker should read, "Bush was lied to. People died." It doesn't sound as good, but it's more honest. Honesty is good, yes?

Old and busted: drilling pristine Alaskan nature preserves for oil. New hotness: drilling a soccer mom's SUV for gasoline. Around our neighborhood, they're also stealing catalytic converters for the platinum and rhodium.

Sometimes, there is one piece of evidence that makes or breaks a case. In the case of the acquittal of a man, who may have been a drug dealer, who was charged with murder after shooting one of the cops who raided his house during a "no knock" raid, the evidence supporting the defendant's claim that he feared he and his family were under attack was that he soiled his underwear during the raid. Murderers do not crap themselves.

A rape defendant is trying to introduce a cast of his "extraordinarily large" penis to prove that it was a smaller man who raped the 13-year-old victim. I liked it better when it happened on The Practice, and a juror realized that the scar on the defendant's johnson was from a penile enlargement surgery.

According to at least one British fellow, the best thing about being reunited with your long-lost daughter is that if she grew up to be hot, you can shag her for a couple of years.

Headline: Barack Obama tells black fathers to engage their children. For a brief moment, voters in West Virginia misread the headline and considered actually voting for the guy now.

If you think lawsuits are out of control in the U.S., imagine living in Sweden, where you can't even fire a priest for banging one of the parishioners.

"We have sex, and in the eyes of God we are already married." Not a quote you want to read about a 700 pound man and his lady friend. Especially when the article has pictures.

Jessica Alba and her husband Cash Warren are the proud parents of a new baby girl they named "Honor." Why do famous parents do that to their kids? Maybe they figure that, with hot parents, they needed to give the kids in school an extra incentive to tease their little snowflake. I can hear it already. "Honor and offer. Honor and offer." I'm sure mine is not an original thought, which makes the name all the more silly.

Katherine Heigl wanting her name withdrawn from Emmy consideration this season is a bit like Nicholas Cage withdrawing his name from Oscar consideration for National Treasure 2, or that really fat chick with the big nose and the disgusting wart putting on weird makeup and dressing in thrift shop clothing and declaring that she's ugly by choice. Or like Lindsay Lohan "choosing" not to be considered for her one scene in Ugly Betty.

Kobe Bryant is getting skewered in the press for calling it like it is. Not for saying that the Lakers choked. For saying that the team needed to drink it off. Hey, whatever works. The O'Brien Trophy has left Staples Center without a new owner, even though the Lakers blew yet another monster lead at home against the hated Celtics.

What is the toughest way to win a major if you are a golf player? I'm not sure what is the toughest, but sitting in the clubhouse hoping that Tiger Woods is going to blow a birdie putt on the 18th is definitely one of the toughest ways. It sure didn't work for Rocco Mediate yesterday. Perhaps he'll try a new strategy today.

In case you've even wondered, the answer to the question "But what if I don't want to have my mugshot taken?" is this.

Finally, if you were totally bummed out as a kid to learn than someone had killed the last unicorn, here's good news. Someone found a real live unicorn for you to kill.

June 16, 2008 in Random Thoughts | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

Ranking ten movies I recently watched on DVD (No. 3)

I'll rate them with pluses, one to five. This was also a much better collection of DVDs than the first ten:

Glory Road - ++++ A great basketball movie. Easily one of the five best hoops movies ever. Still not as good a Hoosiers, though.
The Office: Series 1 - ++++ The British series. This is hilarious stuff. If you like the American show, you need to add the British show's seasons to your Netflix queue.
The Office: Series 2 - ++++ See above.
The Office Special - +++ The special wasn't quite as good as the regular seasons, but still very funny.
Just Like Heaven - +++ I expected to hate this chick flick and found it surprisingly enjoyable.
Failure to Launch - +++ This was pretty funny, easily worth four pluses, but seeing Terry Bradshaw bare ass drops it a plus.
The Importance of Being Earnest - ++ Oscar Wilde wrote the original. What else do you need to know?
Wallace & Gromit: The Curse of the Were-Rabbit - + this was lame even for a kid's movie.
Practical Magic - + Hated it ten years ago. Hate it still.
The Benchwarmers - I enjoy stupid comedies, as long as they make me laugh. I did not enjoy this one.

June 16, 2008 in Film | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

The six degrees of separation between Charles Manson and the Celtics' last title

Convicted murderer Charles Manson was a onetime friend of Dennis Wilson (1), whose bandmates in the Beach Boys included Mike Love (2), the brother of former NBA player Stan Love and uncle of UCLA basketball player Kevin Love (3), who was mentored this season by John Wooden (4), who previously coached Bill Walton (5), who was Larry Bird's teammate in 1986 (6), the last time the Celtics won an NBA championship.

June 15, 2008 in Sports | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

How Big of a Loser is Bill Simmons?

During his liveblogging sort of article for ESPN Page 2, Simmons wrote that a replay of Sasha Vujacic punching a chair and fighting back tears on the bench "wasn't just the best moment of the Celtics season, I think it was the best moment of my life."

What a sad life. What a sad little man.

June 14, 2008 in Sports | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

If the Flaming Lips were Martians

The lyric inspired by this photos would go something like this: "Do you realize the sun doesn't go down? It's just an illusion caused by Mars spinning round."

June 14, 2008 in Observations | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

As I Avoid my Superstitious Fears

It felt like another failed suicide attempt as I got off the plane tonight. I flew twice on Friday the 13th, and to my pleasant surprise, neither plane crashed. One, however, didn't make it to the gate. They parked us on the tarmac and made us walk to the terminal.

The only bad luck I had was that my mediation didn't result in a settlement. Oh, and I was quoted out of context today in the San Francisco Chronicle, but I didn't care because it was fun to walk through the airport and see people reading the article in which I was quoted.

June 13, 2008 in Personal Events | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

The 10 Worst Moments from Sporting Events I Attended

1. Texas 41 USC 38. Touchdown, Vince Young. 2006 Rose Bowl. Nothing in a sporting event ever hurt more. Nothing even came close. Not even the games I lost when I was a player. Of course, I never played in a Rose Bowl.

2. Boston 7, California 6. One strike from the Angels' first World Series berth, Donnie Moore serves up a home run to Dave Henderson in game five of the 1986 ALCS. My left leg was dangling over the edge on the third base side, ready to rush the field. Never happened. This was my worst sports memory for almost two decades.

3. Celtics 97 Lakers 91. The Lakers blow a 24 point lead at home to the Boston Celtics in Game 4 of the 2008. So fresh in my mind it's hard to find the words to describe how badly this sucked.

4. Fresno St. 24 USC 7. USC loses the 1992 Freedom Bowl by 17 points to 8-point underdog Fresno State. In the rain, to boot. On a work night, too. This bowl game came after losses to UCLA and Notre Dame. The tenth straight to the Irish. Nobody on the team cared after that. Not even the coach. "Names and logos don't mean anything. You don't beat someone just because of your name and logo," said Larry Smith. That was the last straw. Insult to injury. He got sacked a couple of days later.

5. Spurs 110 Lakers 82. San Antonio ends the three year reign of the Lakers by trouncing L.A. in game six of the 2003 NBA conference semifinals. I had awesome seats. Got some great pictures. And never looked at any of them except in the little LCD screen on the camera.

6. UCLA 13 USC 9. The batted-down interception. 2006. USC, ranked # 2 in the nation, and virtually assured of a spot in the BCS championship game (where they probably would have clobbered Ohio State), loses at UCLA 13-9. It was the end of so many incredible streaks, I can't remember them all.

7. TCU 28 USC 19. USC loses the 1998 Sun Bowl to Texas Christian, which hadn't won a bowl game in 41 years. My seat was in the 13th row, dead center at the 50. My right arm was on the 50, as was my brother's left arm. What a waste. The only saving grace: it was a fly-in and fly-out same day trip. We were on a plane two hours after the game, and we went out for New Year's Eve with our wives that night. It turned out that this loss was the finest moment of the Paul Hackett era at USC.

8. Stanford 24 USC 23. Touchdown Stanford, 2007. I couldn't believe my eyes. USC was ranked #1 in one poll and #2 in the other. With a favorable schedule, an undefeated season looked possible, even though the team had some glaring weaknesses. They were even more glaring after this loss. With the possible exception of Staples Center during the Celtics' Game 4 comeback, I've never seen a more shellshocked collection of fans.

9. UCLA 48 USC 41. Lavale Woods fumbles with 1:34 left, and USC ends up blowing a 17 point lead with five minutes to play at the Rose Bowl in 1996 against UCLA. That the game was an exciting double-overtime thriller meant nothing to me. Nothing.

10. Notre Dame 27 USC 10. This was #1 Notre Dame (10-0) against #2 USC (10-0) at the Coliseum. My first USC-Notre Dame game as a USC student. The first and only #1 v. #2 matchup in the storied rivalry. Late in the first half, USC was driving inside Notre Dame territory, looking for a game-tying touchdown when Stan Smagala ran back a 64-yard interception for a touchdown to put Notre Dame up 21-7. With two USC drives stalling inside the Notre Dame 5-yard line, the second half was dead, and so were USC's national title hopes.

June 13, 2008 in Sports | Permalink | Comments (3) | TrackBack (0)

Lakers 91 Celtics 97

It started off with the sweetest opening quarter of playoff basketball I have ever seen. The Celtics outscored Lamar Odom 14-13, but the rest of the Lakers poured in 22, and L.A. had a 21 point lead at the end of one. Awesome!

In the second quarter, the score got to 45-21 before the game began to unravel. Boston got out to a 12-0 run before Derek Fisher's three-point play, but Kobe had scored just 3 points. Unlike the first three games, the home team was not getting calls. Garnett goaltended and got away with it. When it was 20-6 in the first quarter, the Lakers had a defensive set in which they were called for three fouls before Boston finally scored on a free throw. Jokers behind us remarked: "David Stern just called and said the Lakers' lead was getting too big. Have the officials adjust, please." Kobe's first half totals: 3 points and 3 fouls. But at halftime, for the most part, it was all good, especially with Farmar's trey at the buzzer.

The film "Hancock" was being promoted like crazy tonight and Will Smith was in the house. He still looks like Robert Horry, even more so at a Laker game. Justin Timberlake was here too. So was a very swishy dancing idiot who they kept showing over and over again, mixed in with a few clips of Napoleon Dynamite.

Other famous dudes in the house: Andy Garcia, Tobey Maguire, Rick Fox, David Beckham, Jack Nicholson. Seeing the famous dudes was about the only thing we had to cheer in the third quarter. Pau Gasol got zero respect from the officials. The lead was down to two. Some idiot just fell on his ass going down the steps and flung his beer all over the row two down from us. That was the most entertaining thing I saw in the third. As we began the the 4th quarter, I told my brother, I hope it's nothing like the third or this series is done.

It's done. No team has ever come back from a 3-1 deficit in NBA Finals history. To do it against a very good Boston team that has beaten the Lakers 5 out of 6 games this season is too much to ask. To do it with the last two games being played in Boston is too much to ask. To do it after the worst collapse in NBA Finals history is too much to ask.

We were going to take my dad to the game on Sunday as a Father's Day present. He says he'd rather watch it at home with a pizza. Three hours ago, I wouldn't have agreed. Now I do. And so we are left to say "Wait 'til next year." It's not an empty threat. Next year, barring injury, we will have a better team. There are no unrestricted free agents to lose this season, and next year, a healthy Andrew Bynum will give this team a starting lineup of Bynum, Gasol, Odom, Bryant and Fisher. That team will be the most talented in the league. This year, we have to settle for second-best.

June 12, 2008 in Sports | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

No Sushi Boy For Me

We got this ad for Sushi Boy, and it had a coupon for something like thirty percent off, so my brother and I went there for lunch today. We went as far as the door, but never went in.

At peak lunch hour, the place had four customers. A dead slow sushi place never seems to have good sushi. Dead slow sushi places usually end up giving you sushi squirts. I don't much care for those. The plates didn't look so great, either. The sushi looked warm. Maybe it wasn't, but it just didn't look fresh when we peeked throught the glass.

Oh, and the place was run by Mexicans. I don't have anything against Mexicans. I just don't want non-Japanese making my sushi. Racist? Maybe. I don't care. That's one area where racism serves me well. Show me ten sushi places run by non-Japanese chefs, and I'll show you at least nine sushi places you won't want to visit twice.

Anyhow, after about ten seconds of thinking about it, we took off down the road to Sumo, the all-you-can-eat sushi buffet. That's where I piled up this outstanding plate of raw fish products. It was delicious.

June 11, 2008 in Food and Drink | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

Lex TV 171

Here are another dozen interesting or amusing videos:

Two greedy little kittens.

Fan interference? That's a slice of pizza in your face, dude.

Momma must be so proud of these girls.

I hate this guy.

Hey birdie, give me a little kiss. Ouch!

The car dealership that satifies all your buts.

This might be the creepiest kid's cartoon I've ever seen.

How to make a Mentos and Diet Coke booby-trap.

A funny hoax video that suggests that your cell phone will fry your brain.

A very cool cat video.

An hour-and-a-half long documentary on the Munich Olympics terrorist attack.

Damn, Zohan looks funny. I gotta get out to see it.

June 11, 2008 in Video | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

Tuesday Travel Photo (No. 182)

Right behind The Cathedral Church of Saint Michael and All Angels in Bridgetown is this building, which looks abandoned, but had cars parked all around it. It was probably quite a handsome building at one time. Now, it looks like it's begging to be overrun with mice and rats.

If you ever get inside, watch out for that second story doorway. The first step looks like a nasty one.

June 10, 2008 in Photographs | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBack (0)

Random Thoughts on the Stories of the Day

I love how the NHL let's the Stanley Cup go all over the place. If they have to smooth out a dent here and there, so be it. Other trophies sit in glass cases. The Cup goes all over the world. That's awesome.

Paul Pierce is a drama queen. Drama queens do not deserve to win NBA championships. They deserve to limp off the court as losers.

ESPN's Bill Simmons addresses some "myths" about the Celtic-Laker rivalry:

Myth: The 1962 Lakers were a wide-open 15-footer from toppling Bill Russell's Celtics. Truth: You know who took the shot? Frank Selvy. (Who? Exactly.) Should Selvy be deciding your season when you have West and Baylor? I say no. Stupid teams shouldn't win titles.

Who? An ESPN writer has to ask who Frank Selvy was? I can answer his question. Frank Selvy was a two-time NBA All-Star and the most prolific single-game scorer in NCAA basketball history. Somehow, I don't think a lot of coaches would hate to have their last shot come down to an open 15-footer to be taken by a guy who once scored 100 points in a college game.

You've heard people bitch about how Jerry West supposedly steered Memphis toward trading Pau Gasol to the Lakers, right? How sweet it is that the Lakers play the Celtics in the finals? Out of all the fans who have something to bitch about, the Celtics fans are least and last. The Lakers reportedly offered Lamar Odom, Andrew Bynum, and a draft pick for Kevin Garnett, but Kevin Mchale has openly admitted that he would never want to make a deal that improves the Lakers (remember when he let Tom Gugliotta go to Phoenix for free rather than trade him to L.A. for Eddie Jones and Elden Campbell?), so instead, he sent Garnett to his old teammate Danny Ainge for Al Jefferson, Ryan Gomes, Gerald Green, Sebastian Telfair and Theo Ratliff. Most lopsided trade in the NBA in decades. Boston went from 24-58 to 66-16, and Minnesota dropped from 32-50 to 22-60. By the way, Memphis went from 22-60 last season to, uh, 22-60 this season.

Ty Lawson started acting like an NBA player a couple of weeks too soon. These guys need to learn to lay of the drinking, or the coking, or whatever you like to do, until after you sign the contract with the guaranteed money.

Sometimes, when you knock on a door in the middle of the night, and there is no answer, it means the coast is clear. Free stuff for the taking. Other times, it means that there is a big huge NFL player like Noah Herron in his bedroom wondering who in the hell is knocking on his door in the middle of the night. And he has a bedpost with which to beat your ass into next Friday.

So there's this story about how, to keep the roads unclogged, the Freeway Service Patrol will just give you a gallon of gas for free if you run out on the freeway. Sierra Hart Towing, which monitors Sacramento's freeways, said some people purposefully run out of gas just to get a free gallon. The story says that when truck drivers suspect that they've encountered a mooch, they sometimes offer to tow them to the nearest gas station for free. Few take up the offer. "A lot of them just get in their car and drive away." WTF? You can nip this trouble in the bud by making them turn the ignition key. If they are out of gas, they can't get in their car and drive away, can they? If they aren't out of gas, that should be their only option.

Some nakked anti-fur protesters are really cute. Others make you want to just throw them in the shower.

The last confirmed sighting of a Caribbean monk seal was in 1952 between Jamaica and Mexico's Yucatan Peninsula. The seals were first classified as endangered in 1967. The National Oceanic Atmospheric Administration's Fisheries Service confirmed Friday that the species is extinct.

When I saw this ad over the Memorial Day weekend, I knew the end was in sight: real estate developers offering housing deals that include a "Buy one, get one free!" home. But with a lot of developers dropping their prices by hundreds of thousands of dollars, perhaps tossing in an extra $400K rental property isn't such a strange incentive after all.

Some homeless dude swindled 13 women by posing as a millionaire. One of the women lost $100,000 to the guy. What I want to know is: once the guy scammed someone out of $100,000, why in the world was he still homeless. Get an apartment, dude. You have the money.

Behold, a defendant on whose ass we really should get medieval. Robert A. Williams did not kill his victim, but he deserves to die, and it should not be a painless death. Or a fast one. I vote for 19 hours of agony, followed by a flatline.

Some pastors are calling for a ban on Sunday sports. "The anxiety of 'Do I go to church or do I take my kid to the soccer game?' is a weekly ordeal," said [Donald]Mossa, a pastor at the Presbyterian Church of Whippany. "It's letting the team down versus letting God down." God appears to have gotten over such other slights as murder, rape, terrorism and war. I think He'll get over the slight of someone taking their kid to his soccer game on Sunday. Besides, the Sabbath is on Saturday. There is no commandment calling for church on Sundays.

Finally, did you ever wonder what the look would be on the face of a baby who just found out his mom had tried to abort him? Well, wonder no more. Just double-click this crazy article. Yeah, that's about how my face would look, too.

June 08, 2008 in Random Thoughts | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

Why, that's un-American

JFK: "Ask not what your country can do for you. Ask what you can do for your country."

Becky Hammon: I ask what my country can do for me. If I don't like the answer, then I ask what Russia can do for me.

Russia's answer: make her more money and give her an easier tryout for the Olympic basketball team. Sure, that's worth moving to Moscow and becoming a naturalized Russian citizen, she apparently thinks. "There's nothing more American than taking advantage of an opportunity," she said, smiling.

I beg to differ. On the list of one million things that are the most American things you can do, bolting your country to become a Russian citizen and play for the Russians in the Olympics doesn't even make the list. If it was Dwyane Wade or Chauncey Billups doing the same, the nation would be in an uproar. A traitor in the ranks of the women's team seems to be generating mostly yawns.

June 08, 2008 in Sports | Permalink | Comments (15) | TrackBack (0)

Stanford heads to Omaha

Stanford 8, Cal St. Fullerton 5. Jason Castro’s bases-clearing double in the sixth inning was the difference. For the first time ever, Cal St. Fullerton was swept in a Super Regional. Stanford will be going to the College World Series.

June 08, 2008 in Sports | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

What we can and cannot do to rats

Let's briefly review some of the things we are and aren't allowed to do to rats:

1. We are allowed to buy them in large quantities and perform medical experiments, chemical testing, cosmetic experiments and other procedures which, if done to a human, would be considered unspeakably cruel.

2. We are allowed to purchase them from pet stores to feed to our pet snakes.

3. We are allowed to set glue traps out for them, which are intended to trap them so that they spend days dying of thirst, during which they painfully attempt to escape. Then we throw them in the trash.

4. We are allowed to use our pet cats to hunt and kill them.

5. We are allowed to poison them, causing a slow and painful death, albeit not as bad as the glue traps.

6. We are allowed to shove them up Richard Gere's ass.

7. ~~We are allowed to move away and forget about the rat, leaving it to starve to death.~~

Oops. Scratch that last one. According to this story from Washington, U.K.,

A pet rat starved to death after it was left behind when a family moved out of their house into an apartment that did not allow rats. The rodent, known as Milly, was the pet of couple Samantha Pearson and David Step. But when their new landlord said pets weren't welcome, the couple smuggled in their cat, but left the rat behind. Step, 21, of Lowthian Terrace, Washington, was supposed to call in regularly and feed the animal. But after he found his former house out-of-bounds after a suspected gas leak, he didn't return. Along with Pearson, he appeared at Sunderland Magistrates' Court on Thursday to plead guilty to a charge of animal cruelty. Pearson, 25, also of Lowthian Terrace, admitted two charges, as she was the owner of the property where the rat was discovered.

Anyhow, so the difference is that it is perfectly legal to intentionally torture and kill a feral rat that you did not buy, but if you pay money for the rat, and you neglect it, that's a crime. Oh, wait, if you buy it, but for a cruel purpose like animal testing for new chemical products, medicines or scientific experiments like studying the effect of burns to the lungs, it's still perfectly legal to kill it, even if the death it suffers is horrifically painful.

So basically, the rule is, if you buy it at a pet shop, you forfeit the right that the rest of us have to torture and kill pretty much any rats we encounter. Oh, wait, if you buy it from a pet shop, but for a cruel purpose like feeding it to your beloved pet reptile, or taping its claws up and shoving it up your partner's derriere, it is still perfectly legal to kill it, even if it suffers a painful and slow death by suffocation.

So then, the rule is, if you buy it at a pet shop, and you once intended to be kind to it, you forfeit the right that the rest of us have to intentionally torture and kill pretty much any rats we purchase or encounter. You can't even neglect the thing without going to jail.

Unlike people, all rats are not created equal.

June 07, 2008 in Idiots | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBack (0)

Ranking ten movies I recently watched on DVD (No. 2)

I'll rate them with pluses, one to five. This was a much better collection of DVDs than the last ten:

Cinderella Man +++++- this should have won Best Picture in 2005.
The Big Lebowski ++++ every dude should watch this movie at least once.
Walk the Line ++++ a very good movie, much like Ray.
Pride and Prejudice ++++ had to watch it twice, but the second time, I dug it.
Crash +++ a decent movie, but way overrated.
Hoot +++ cute, but melodramatic like a kid's movie tends to be.
Munich +++ well done, but depressing.
The Talented Mr. Ripley +++ it only took me nine years to watch it.
March of the Penguins +++ not bad for a documentary about birds.
Collateral ++ a bit implausible, especially the love angle.

June 07, 2008 in Film | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

Stanford Beats Fullerton 4-3

There were already 3,343 at Goodwin Field tonight when my wife and I rolled up to see if tickets were still available to the Super Regional game tonight between Stanford and Cal St. Fullerton. They were not. We ended up watching it on TV after I walked around the outfield to see a home run ball hit by a Stanford player. That home run ended up being the difference as the Titans' 8th and 9th inning rallies fell short.

In related news, the guy who caught the home run showed me that ball, and I learned that the NCAA playoffs use some pretty beat-up baseballs. It ain't like it is in The Show, where a ball gets retired or demoted to batting practice status as soon as it gets banged up or scuffed up.

June 06, 2008 in Sports | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

The Longest NCAA Baseball post-season streaks

In order:

1. Miami - 36 years.
2. Florida State - 31 years.
3. Cal. St. Fullerton - 17 years.

Clemson was third on the list until this season.

June 05, 2008 in Sports | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

The First 2008 Preseason Football Polls

A couple of college football preseason rankings are out.

USC is ranked No. 2 in Lindy's magazine preseason poll. Georgia is No. 1.

The Trojans are ranked No. 4 in Athlon's preseason rankings, behind Florida, Ohio State and Oklahoma.

June 05, 2008 in USC Football | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

Congratulations Class of 2008

Our oldest daughter graduated from grade school tonight. I couldn't be prouder. Straight A's, too. Way to go, B!

June 04, 2008 in Personal Events | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

Lex TV 170

Here are another dozen interesting or amusing videos:

The most insane rock-climbing video you'll see today.

Forget the Dos Equis guy, ladies. This might be the most interesting man in the world.

Awesome toilet humor.

Hillary Clinton supporters say McCain is their second choice.

This video triggers my acrophobia.

H-O-N-D-A w00t!

That's one telemarketer down, the rest to go. "Now get back on those phones!"

Spelling bee contestant: "You want me to spell 'numb nut'?"

The winner of Britain's Who's Got Talent is a breakdancer.

Skateboarders + dry water park = video goodness.

It's the end of the world, as we know it.

This might be the worst idea for a comedy since ever.

June 04, 2008 in Video | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

Forget Clapton, It's Obama

From Obama's victory speech last night:

... I am absolutely certain that generations from now, we will be able to look back and tell our children that this was the moment when we began to provide care for the sick and good jobs to the jobless; this was the moment when the rise of the oceans began to slow and our planet began to heal....

The nomination of Barry Obama will forever be remembered as the day the oceans ~~stopped rising~~ slowed their rise? Does this guy think he's Moses? Does he think he's GOD?

June 04, 2008 in Idiots, Politics | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBack (0)

Hillary Clinton to Ask to be John McCain's Running Mate

Hillary Rodham Clinton told colleagues on Tuesday that she would consider joining Barack Obama as his running mate, and advisers said she was withholding a formal departure from the race partly to use her remaining leverage to press for a spot on the ticket. Even more interesting, although few are discussing it openly, is Clinton's plan to approach John McCain and seek a spot on the Republican ticket if she is rebuffed by the Obama camp.

"What an incredible ticket this would be!" suggested one high-ranking Clinton campaign official. "With Senator McCain's draw among Christians, wealthy Americans and right-wing wackos and dittoheads, and Senator Clinton's support among atheists, gays, middle-class Americans, hard-working white Americans, feminists and the left-wing nutjobs who don't hate America, Senator Obama would have difficulty winning even a single electoral vote." Another supporter added, "What are the Republicans going to do, vote for Obama? I don't think so."

Obama insiders consider the threat to be a bluff, and opine that Senator McCain is likely to reject the idea of a McCain-Clinton ticket. "That won't dissuade her," added the Clinton campaigner. "She's been advised that this is a possibility, and Senator Clinton is prone to believing what she wants to believe. Don't forget that this is the same woman who thought that the Monica Lewinsky allegations were part of a vast right-wing conspiracy, and who thinks that the possibility of a June assassination is a reason to continue campaigning."

Senator Clinton has made no formal comment regarding the rumors. Senator McCain, shown above admiring Mrs. Clinton at an earlier event, has also not denied the rumors. Stay here for further updates as they become available.

June 03, 2008 in Bullshit Stories, Hearsay, Politics | Permalink | Comments (3) | TrackBack (0)

Cyclists bring bikes to a demolition derby

Have you seen this photograph of the cycling race in Mexico that was interrupted by a car taking out a whole pack of riders? Unbelievable. The rider in green must feel like the luckiest guy in Mexico right about now. If you are wondering how this happened, Mexican authorities say the driver was drunk, and fell asleep behind the wheel.

June 03, 2008 in Strange | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

Tuesday Travel Photo (No. 181)

One of my favorite things to do when traveling is to visit strange churches. You never know what you are going to see. When we got to Barbados, our first stop was the capitol city of Bridgetown. Once we saw how dismal the shopping was, we decided to visit The Cathedral Church of Saint Michael and All Angels, an Anglican church right at the edge of downtown. Built in 1789, after a hurricane destroyed the church previously built on the same spot, the church includes a very old cemetary, part of which can be seen in this photograph of a kneeling figure with no head.

It made us scratch our heads a bit. One would think that the damage would be repaired, unless it was very, very recent. We wondered about the cause of the damage, too. Our strongest theory was that a hurricane caused it by blowing a tree apart. The most interesting theory, but much less likely, is that the terrorists got her.

June 03, 2008 in Photographs | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBack (0)

The latest random news thoughts

If you've noticed that your last few tanks have coincidentally cost precisely $75, here's a story about why and what it's doing. Essentially, the limit was put in place to prevent and limit exposure to fraud, but now that half the cars on the road have a tank that can't be filled for $75, it's just a pain in the ass.

I'm tired of hearing about baseball's 'roid problem. I don't want to know whose third baseman has grapes popping out of his bunghole, and I really don't want to know that they "need to be lanced." Hemorrhoids, testicular torsion and anal fissures should simply be listed for the public as "undisclosed medical issues."

All these years, I thought the ACLU was out to destroy religion. I was wrong. The ACLU is also willing to fight for your right to be a religious kook, including bringing a lawsuit to preserve a woman's right not to come to work during her (library) employer's promotion of a Harry Potter book.

Some people think Clapton is God, but the Kaiser Chiefs proclaim themselves better than Oasis, who thought they were better than the Beatles, who declared themselves more popular than Jesus. So they must think they are WAY better than God. Or Clapton.

Clay Aiken has impregnated a woman. But not a young woman, and not the way a straight guy would do it. He artificially inseminated his 50-year-old roommate. Somehow this is "news." Nah, "news" would have been finding out that Clay Aiken had gotten a 25-year-old woman pregnant after busting a condom during actual sex.

Good: cleaning the house while your wife is out of town. Bad: hiring a nude maid to do it. Ugly: she steals all your wife's good jewelry. Remember, rule number one when the maid leaves: check her pockets. Rule number one when the maid is nekked: check her pockets anyways.

Suppose your 13-year-old daughter was staying out all night and banging adult men she met via her myspace page that said she was 19 and divorced. Would you (a) ground her ass; (b) shut down her website; or (c) let her stay out late and keep the myspace page up, and just have all the guys she has sex with get arrested?

Remember how Eddie Vedder, Alec Baldwin, Robert Altman, Martin Sheen, Rosie O'Donnell, Matt Damon, Whoopi Goldberg, Ed Asner and Tim Robbins were going to move to another country if George Bush was elected? They're all still here. The new hotness is that Susan Sarandon is going to move to Canada or Italy if John McCain gets elected. Because living in an America run by George W. Bush for eight years isn't that bad, but the idea of living under a McCain administration is just too much to handle.

Sarandon is still far down on the list of the most incredibly stupid celebrities, though. When you heard about this woman calling police for help unlocking her car doors from the inside, you thought, for at least a moment, that it was another Britney Spears story, didn't you? I did, too.

June 03, 2008 in Random Thoughts | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBack (0)

1544 Miles to Omaha

My Titans are moving on to the Super-Regionals. The seeding committee must have known their stuff, because all eight national seeds advanced. The best-of-three super-regionals will be:

1 Miami v. Arizona
2 North Carolina v. Coastal Carolina
3 Arizona State v. Fresno State
4 Florida State v. Wichita State
5 Cal St. Fullerton v. Stanford
6 Rice v. Texas A&M
7 LSU v. UC-Irvine
8 Georgia v. NC State

The Titans advanced with a 5-4 win over UCLA tonight, in a game that went to 11:30 p.m. The save went to ace Jeff Kaplan, who got shelled by the Bruins in a loss on Saturday. UCLA left Brian Murphy stranded at third base in the ninth inning. I must admit that I was nervous, especially when Murphy came up to lead off in the ninth, and the announcers said "Murphy no home runs on the year, by the way." Technically, it was the Titans second win of the day against UCLA, having beaten the Bruins 11-8 in a game that extended past midnight this morning.

The three game series between Stanford and CSUF will be played this weekend at Fullerton. The Titans were swept in three games at Stanford earlier this season.

June 02, 2008 in Sports | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBack (0)

Fullerton and UCLA Go to 7 Games

The Fullerton Regional will go a full seven games. Cal State Fullerton bounced back from a tough loss to UCLA on Saturday with victories over Virginia (4-1) and UCLA (11-8) on Sunday. The seventh and deciding game of the regional will be played tonight at Goodwin Field in Fullerton at 8:00 p.m., PDT. The #1 seed Titans (5th seeded overall) are 40-20, including four wins and one loss against the #2 seed Bruins.

June 02, 2008 in Sports | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

My Wii Fit was stolen out of the UPS truck!

My wife is looking forward to having our third baby in about six weeks, and the first thing she wants to do is start losing the weight. So we bought a Wii Fit this month. We found it in stock at www.toysrus.com and ordered it to be shipped via UPS. It shipped on May 21; it should have arrived by now. So we checked the status of our order, and this is what they showed us:

Your package has experienced an exception.
Tracking Number:	--------------------------
Type:	Package
Status:	Exception See description below


Shipped/Billed On:	05/21/2008
Service:	GROUND
Weight:	12.30 Lbs

Package Progress
Location	Date	Local Time	Description
ALISO VIEJO, CA, US	05/22/2008	2:23 P.M.	MERCHANDISE IS MISSING. UPS WILL NOTIFY THE SENDER WITH ADDITIONAL DETAILS. / ALL MERCHANDISE MISSING, EMPTY CARTON WAS DISCARDED. UPS WILL NOTIFY THE SENDER WITH DETAILS OF THE DAMAGE
	05/22/2008	3:40 A.M.	OUT FOR DELIVERY
ALISO VIEJO, CA, US	05/21/2008	11:56 P.M.	ARRIVAL SCAN

So basically, the UPS guy left his truck unlocked, went into a building somewhere, and a thief jumped in, opened our Wii Fit package and took the goods.

We called Toys R Us and were told, essentially, that we are S.O.L. They will not ship us a new one. They will just refund us our money, and we can try to order one again in the future. No, they are not currently in stock. Nobody has one. Except the thief my UPS guy let take my Wii Fit.

June 02, 2008 in Personal Events | Permalink | Comments (4) | TrackBack (0)

The May 2008 Demiblog Links

Here are the May 2008 Demiblog links:

June 01, 2008 in Weblogs | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

UCLA beats Cal State Fullerton in Regional Matchup

Cal State Fullerton, the #1 seed in the Fullerton Regional, defeated Rider 11-0 in the first round of the 2008 NCAA baseball playoffs on Friday night. Late last night, the Titans lost 11-4 to #2 seed UCLA, a team they swept earlier this season and from whom they had taken 20 of their last 24 meetings. The Titans will face Virginia today at 4:00 p.m., with the winner getting a double-header and taking on the Bruins at 8:00 p.m. If the Bruins win that game, they advance. If not, a deciding game will be played Monday at 5:00 p.m. at Goodwin Field.

Although I had rooted against the bRuins in baseball, I had been rooting hard for the lady Bruins in softball. I know the parents of some of the players on that team, and I wanted to see them do well in the College World Series. Sadly, they were eliminated by Florida 2-0, having also lost to Arizona State the previously night.

June 01, 2008 in Sports | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)