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Madoff Motives and Four Other Random Passing Thoughts

Bernard Madoff's longtime secretary says she believes the disgraced financier is not cooperating with authorities in order to protect others, and that he was a flirtatious boss who frequented massage parlors. She declined to speculate as to whom he might be protecting. Absent such speculation, why did they waste the column inches on this chick? Isn't it readily apparent that the dude's refusal to cooperate is motivated by a desire to keep secrets?

I've never been a rapist or a murderer, but if ever I was, I would hope that I would be smart enough not to call out for pizza delivery with my victim on the couch, waiting to be killed. Fortunately, David  J. Jansen isn't one of those super-genius murderer rapists, so he did just that. Not surprisingly, the pizza guy called the cops. Busted! Pizza guy Chris Turner is a legitimate hero.

As we approached the confirmation process for Sonia Sotomayor, President Obama said he expects "rigorous evaluation" of his nominee but added: "What I hope is that we can avoid the political posturing and ideological brinksmanship that has bogged down this process, and Congress, in the past." By, in the past, he means when he was on the other side, of course. By, in the past, he means when he was on the other side, of course. "There is absolutely no doubt in my mind Judge Roberts is qualified to sit on the highest court in the land. Moreover, he seems to have the comportment and the temperament that makes for a good judge ... The bottom line is this: I will be voting against John Roberts' nomination." But there is no chance the GOP will treat Sotomayor as badly as the left treated Republican judicial candidates of color - remember Janice Rogers Brown and Clarence Thomas - and until they do, people really should kindly please STFU already about how careful anyone else must be. And what a stark contrast to the last time we had a Hispanic judicial appointment, and 44 of 48 Senate Democrats voted to filibuster Miguel Estrada's nomination to the D.C. Circuit Court of Appeals, with Congressman Raul Grijalva assuring Republicans that just because "he happens to be named 'Estrada' does not give him a free ride."

Have you heard about Oklahoma pharmacist Jerome Jay Ersland? He was confronted by two armed robbers and shot one in the head. The other fled. He chased the guy outside, and after the guy got away, he came back in, with the other gunman lying on the floor, unarmed and unconcious with a head wound, and he went back behind the counter, got a second gun, and fired 5 shots to the torso to kill the gunman. He's been charged with murder. A lot of people are upset that he's been charged, but now that I've seen the footage of the shooting, I think that his only defense to a murder charge would be that the head shot killed the kid, rather than the last five shots to the gut, because those shots were fired in anger, after the danger had passed.

I found this story absolutely shocking: "A 7-year-old boy who was allegedly shot in the head by a couple who thought he and three other people were trespassing on their property died...." It was shocking enough that someone would shoot a traspassing kid, but one who wasn't even trespassing? Outrageous. Even more shocking - check out the perps, Gayle and Sheila Muhs. They are only 45 years old. That's barely older than me, and they look old as dirt.

Here's to the Lakers!

I poured a perfect pint to celebrate the Lakers winning yet another conference championship. For the 30th time in the NBA's 63 seasons (including the pre-merger BAA seasons), the Lakers will play for the championship. If they win, they will have taken almost a quarter - 15 - of the league's titles over that time.

The game itself was awesome. Aside from a few early turnovers, the Lakers played sound basketball the entire game. They got 40 points from the bench, shot 24 for 24 from the foul line, they got strong efforts from Odom, Ariza and Walton, 10 assists from Kobe and five guys scored 10 points or more.

I drank from my Sheffield United glass. My Blades lost the big game on Monday to 5th place Burnley, and failed to earned promotion to the Premiership.
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Tuesday Travel Photo (No. 232)

Remember hearing about the Bridge to Nowhere during last year's presidential election? This is part of the nowhere they were talking about. This is Pennock Island, between Ketchikan, Alaska and its international airport on Gravina Island. The bridge itself would have begun south of the airport, at the end of the "road to nowhere", and it would have come across to this island, a couple of hundred yards to the left of this scene, then it would have continued over the "Alaska Marine Highway" (on which we were sailing when I took this photo) to the southern part of Ketchikan, just north of Saxman, on the South Tongass Highway.

Just for the record, I was for the Bridge to Nowhere and I still am. I'd like to be able to visit Ketchikan without having to take a ferry when I land.

Supreme Court Upholds Prop 8, Upholds Gay Marriages Pre-dating Prop 8

This morning, in Strauss v. Horton (2009) __ Cal.4th __, and related cases, the California Supreme Court has upheld Proposition 8, but has ruled that gay marriages that were entered into on or before election day shall remain valid. Here's the heart of the holding, which can be found on pages 12 and 13 of the majority opinion:

Accordingly, we conclude that each of the state constitutional challenges to Proposition 8 advanced by petitioners and the Attorney General lacks merit. Having been approved by a majority of the voters at the November 4, 2008 election, the initiative measure lawfully amends the California Constitution to include the new provision as article I, section 7.5.

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Finally, we consider whether Proposition 8 affects the validity of the marriages of same-sex couples that were performed prior to the adoption of Proposition 8. Applying well-established legal principles pertinent to the question whether a constitutional provision should be interpreted to apply prospectively or retroactively, we conclude that the new section cannot properly be interpreted to apply retroactively. Accordingly, the marriages of same-sex couples performed prior to the effective date of Proposition 8 remain valid and must continue to be recognized in this state.

The majority opinion, 5-2 with Justices Kennard and George joining the three dissenters (Baxter, Chin and Corrigan) from In re Marriage Cases, is 136 pages long. Justice Kennard wrote a concurring opinion that added some analysis that was not included in the majority opinion. Justice Werdegar (who did not sign the majority opinion) wrote a concurring opinion in which she agreed that Prop 8 was valid, and that existing marriages are not to be retroactively voided, but disagreed with the most of the majority's analysis. Justice Moreno wrote a concurring and dissenting opinion in which he agreed with the part of the decision that validated the existing marriages, but disagreed that Prop 8 was a valid revision to the constitution. So the vote was 5-2 on the majority opinion, but on the issues, it was 7-0 on keeping existing gay marriages in place, and 6-1 in favor of upholding Prop 8 as a valid amendment to the Constitution.

The majority went to great lengths to say how they were forced to come to this conclusion even though they may disagree with the people's decision.

In addressing the issues now presented in the third chapter of this narrative, it is important at the outset to emphasize a number of significant points. First, as explained in the Marriage Cases, supra, 43 Cal.4th at page 780, our task in the present proceeding is not to determine whether the provision at issue is wise or sound as a matter of policy or whether we, as individuals, believe it should be a part of the California Constitution. Regardless of our views as individuals on this question of policy, we recognize as judges and as a court our responsibility to confine our consideration to a determination of the constitutional validity and legal effect of the measure in question. It bears emphasis in this regard that our role is limited to interpreting and applying the principles and rules embodied in the California Constitution, setting aside our own personal beliefs and values.

Second, it also is necessary to understand that the legal issues before us in this case are entirely distinct from those that were presented in either Lockyer or the Marriage Cases. Unlike the issues that were before us in those cases, the issues facing us here do not concern a public official’s authority (or lack of authority) to refuse to comply with his or her ministerial duty to enforce a statute on the basis of the official’s personal view that the statute is unconstitutional, or the validity (or invalidity) of a statutory provision limiting marriage to a union between a man and a woman under state constitutional provisions that do not expressly permit or prescribe such a limitation. Instead, the principal issue before us concerns the scope of the right of the people, under the provisions of the California Constitution, to change or alter the state Constitution itself through the initiative process so as to incorporate such a limitation as an explicit section of the state Constitution.

In considering this question, it is essential to keep in mind that the provisions of the California Constitution governing the procedures by which that Constitution may be amended are very different from the more familiar provisions of the United States Constitution relating to the means by which the federal Constitution may be amended. ... 

To get to the opinions page, go here:
http://www.courtinfo.ca.gov/cgi-bin/opinions.cgi

To download the opinion in MS-Word, right click here:
http://www.courtinfo.ca.gov/opinions/documents/S168047.DOC

To download the opinion in PDF, right click here:
http://www.courtinfo.ca.gov/opinions/documents/S168047.PDF

The Court's press release on the opinion can be read here:
http://www.courtinfo.ca.gov/presscenter/newsreleases/NR29-09.PDF

I voted against Proposition 8, and feel terrible for my gay family and friends, but I don't blame the Supreme Court for this one bit. The majority opinion was correct. The court really had no choice but to uphold Proposition 8.

Another Holiday Weekend Behind Us

It feels like summer again.
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Firepit and Pier

It's a beautiful night to roast marshmallows on an open fire down at the beach. There is a guy on the sand arguing with himself and doing karate moves. He doesn't have a bluetooth, so either he's nuts or he's trippin' balls. I can't tell which and I'm not going to ask.
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How [Not] To Prove the Existence of God With a Banana

I hate it when Christians with wacky beliefs about science, evolution, the world being flat and the great waters above the earth and below the stars and all that, decide to share those beliefs and claim to be giving glory to God. The first time I saw this video, I thought it was a parody. But Ray Comfort and actor Kirk Cameron are being completely serious here on their evangelical Christian show. This clip is called "The Atheist's Nightmare", and in essence, it claims that the nature of the yellow banana proves the existence of God and disproves the theory of evolution. The argument consists of a plain observation of the banana, the assumption that God made it that way when he created the Earth, and the assumption that God made the banana in that way to please humans. The observations boil down to these:

1. Is shaped for human hand 
2. Has non-slip surface 
3. Has outward indicators of inward content: Green-too early, Yellow-just right, Black-too late. 
4. Has a tab for removal of wrapper 
5. Is perforated on wrapper
6. Bio-degradable wrapper 
7. Is shaped for human mouth 
8. Has a point at top for ease of entry into the human mouth
9. Is pleasing to taste buds 
10. Is curved towards the face to make eating process easy

There are some problems with Ray's theory:

Problem number one: bananas as we know them today are a creation of human horticulture. Wild bananas don't look like the ones you buy in the supermarket. They are inedible and have hard black seeds. The delicious seedless bananas you buy from the store, which Ray holds in this video, are of no natural use to the banana plant. Because their fruit is sterile, trees that grow these bananas have to be artificially cultivated by cuttings. Humans have evolved, or selectively bred these bananas for smaller seeds and a sweeter raw banana, and the banana in Ray's hand is the result of a well-documented chance mutation that occurred in 1836 on Jean Francois Poujot's Jamaican banana tree plantation and was thereafter exploited by man and science. Before then, bananas were not sweet and could not be eaten raw. They were starchy and had to be cooked. If designed with hungry human beings in mind, they were designed poorly until that 1836 mutation. In other words, this was either creation or evolution occurring right before our eyes, and the better bet is on evolution.

Problem number two: Why just bananas? Why aren't other fruits perfect? If God made all fruits and vegetables with humans in mind, why do so many of them have thorns or hard shells? Why does God make delicious apples that look almost exactly like deadly poisonous fruits? Poisonous fruits, hard shells, thorns and varieties in growth and color would be expected in an evolutionary system, but seem to make no sense in a perfectly created world.

Problem number three: the banana isn't all that perfect. In evaluating Ray's list of items in the nature of the banana that prove the genius of its creator, I might add the following

1. spoils - turns black - quickly
2. has a bitter thread along the inside of each ridge
3. bruises easily
4. has non-slip outside, but has slippery inside, that people can step on and break their necks
5. Is perfectly shaped for a monkey's mouth, too, and those monkeys like to steal our bananas 
6. grows way at the top of a tree, which is hard to reach
7. that tab often won't break apart without mushing the "easy-entry" top

Why do evangelicals have such a hard time accepting evolution? Why can't you believe that evolution is the most apparent means by which God's act of creation turned the world from a molten ball of lava into a world teeming with diverse life forms? Let atheists enjoy the understanding of the world that the theory of evolution affords us, and just claim it as our own, proclaiming it to be God's scientific method for his creation. All you have to do is what most serious and faithful scholars have done - accept that the Bible wasn't intended to give us a literal description of creation, with a literal timeline that makes the world just 6,000 years old. And even if they can't accept that, why must they use stupid examples as this to prove their point? It just makes the rest of us Christians look stupid.

Politicians in their Parents' Basements and Four Other Passing Thoughts

For an aspiring politician, what could be more embarrassing than to have the public learn that you still live in your parents' basement, even though you are 28 years old and a member of the local school board? How about having your old man call 9-1-1 on you for having a messy bedroom? It happened. Now Andrew Mizsak, the father, doesn't want to press charges against Andrew Mizsak, the board member/son, because he doesn't want to ruin his son's political career. That train might have already left the station, however.

"Financial sector executives should not fear government imposed caps on their salaries even as the Obama administration moves to influence how firms pay their employees. Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner said Monday that government should place "broad constraints" on the incentives that huge pay packages create for executives to take short-term risks. But he drew the line at government determining levels of pay." I think it's frightening that this is even being considered. That it is newsworthy that the government does not plan to cap people's incomes is shocking to me.

Vice President Joe Biden let slip the secret location of the VP's secret bunker. (It's in the basement of his house.) Later, his spokeshole issued a statement saying that no classified information was revealed: "What the Vice President described in his comments was not — as some press reports have suggested — an underground facility, but rather, an upstairs workspace in the residence, which he understood was frequently used by Vice President Cheney and his aides. That workspace was converted into an upstairs guest room when the Bidens moved into the residence. There was no disclosure of classified information." I'm not sure what a comment about a bunker downstairs has to do with an upstairs office, but we've seen these gaffes and Newspeak corrections before, and we'll see them again. And to think that people were worried about what Sarah Palin would be like as Vice-President.

The swine flu story isn't going away, is it? While I don't like I'd much rather have media types inform me and then let me decide whether or not to panic, or take precautions, or ignore it, or something else. As opposed to, for example, not mentioning that school districts are closing schools and such.

Okay, political puindits. What old sin will haunt the next Supreme Court nominee? It has to be tax evasion, right? I mean, how would the new nominee be able to have empathy for the people Obama cares about if he or she doesn't have a tax evasion problem in his or her past?

At the Taylor Swift Concert

So here I am, at Staples Center, watching Taylor Swift in concert. Now, don't get me wrong; she's a talented artist, and she puts on a great show, with more theatrics than most, and she's far more animated than some of my favorite acts, like, say, Oasis. But most of her songs don't speak to me, and the only reason I'm even here is because I had to drive my kid and her friend to the show. Rather than sit in the car, I went ahead and got a ticket, and oddly enough, a floor seat was available 20 minutes before Gloriana and Kellie Pickler were set to open. So I'm sitting here in the middle of the floor surrounded by strangers, most of whom are teenagers with curly hair. Not all, though. To the left of me is a dude who looks like Scott Foley's twin, and the dude is a weirdo. Security has had to tell him to stop doing weird stuff a couple of times. And security moved me once, too, because they either sold me the wrong seat or directed me to the wrong seat. They don't seem to know which. So all in all, it's better than sitting in the car, but not quite as good as watching a good DVD with my wife.

Here's a better photo. Swift singing "Your Body is a Wonderland" with John Mayer.

Front Page Editorials

The L.A. Times was not pleased with the voters' rejection of Props 1A, 1B, 1C, 1D and 1E. Beneath the sensational headline "State braces for brutal cuts", the front fold on the front page of today's issue had an opinion piece. An opinion piece! In it - "All smoke and mirrors - Schwarzenegger missed chance to level with voters", Michael Hiltzik rips everyone who contributed to the measures' failure, and telling us we need to embrace higher taxes, eliminate the 2/3rds majority rule, repeal term limits and repeal Proposition 13. He also lies and claims that California's tax burden is just 18th in the country, which is only true if you claim that local taxes - the ones imposed by political subdivisions of the state - are not part of our state tax burden. The truth is that we were at best, 6th in the country before the last tax increases were passed. When current data becomes available, we're probably going to be #1.
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Yeah, that belongs on the front page.... I wonder when they are going to put "brutal tax increase" headlines on the front page, or stick an opinion piece calling for lower taxes on the front page. Never, right?

Happiness is Doing Stuff and Four Other Random Passing Thoughts

This article about happiness caught my eye. It says older folks, men, and Republicans seem to be happier than others. It fits well with my own personal observations. The best part is that it holds true even after you factor out the effect of having money. The old adage really is true. Money does not buy happiness.

As with most rules, however, there is one notable exception - one that I also have noticed in my own life. Using money to do cool stuff does actually does increase one's happiness. Buying a $6,000 furniture set rarely makes someone happy, or at least not for long. Spending $6,000 on a great vacation with the family - that brings happiness, and it's a wonderful recurring happiness, too. It's like they say at Radio Shack "Don't just buy stuff. Do stuff." Why Radio Shack uses that slogan is a mystery to me. From Radio Shack, I just buy stuff. Through REI, or RCI, or Royal Caribbean, or Carnival, or Norwegian, I do stuff. "Don't just buy stuff. Do stuff." should be Royal Caribbean's tagline.

Speaking of doing stuff, isn't it about time someone finally came out and shared all the good things about unwed teenagers getting knocked up? After all, it seems like all you ever hear about teen pregnancy is negativity, right?

If you have been wanting to try bulimia, but you lack the courage to stick your finger down your throat, just read this story after a heavy meal: 75-year-old woman has doctors build a "designer vagina" to help her sex life.

And just like that, absynthe is no longer cool. For me, its coolness lasted from the time I first heard about it until the moment I tasted it. I'll take my spiced rum, thank you very much.

Tuesday Travel Photo (No. 231)

They have strong laws against drinking in public in Ensenada, so when the cop on the Segway approached, this street beggar quickly pulled her bottle of alcohol in close, so the cop couldn't see it. Once he had passed, she looked over at the dude on the left and laughed, pleased to have avoided a ticket.

After that, she resumed her morning of sitting on the sidewalk with her baby, drinking alcohol and asking strangers for spare change as they left Hussong's Cantina.

Ten Movies I Recently Watched on DVD (No. 22)

Here are another ten recent pulls from the Netflix queue, with my one-to-five plus rating, and the IMDB users' score.

1. Slumdog Millionaire (8.5) +++++ Finally, a Best Picture that lived up to the hype.
2. 24: Season 1 (8.9) +++++ I finally got around to watching it this 2001 season
3. If It's Tuesday, It Must Be Belgium (6.0) ++++ Still funny after 40 years.
4. Religulous (7.8) ++++ Smart and thought-provoking at times, but a bit smug, and soft on Islam
5. Tuesdays with Morrie (7.3) ++++ The book was more interesting, but if you don't have time to read, this captured a lot of the book's measage
6. Twilight (6.1) +++ Watching this, I wasn't sure I understood all the hype. The actress who played Bella was awful.
7. Zack and Miri Make a Porno (7.2) +++ It was funny at times. Dumb at times.
8. Open Season 2 (5.6) +++ Not sure this animated concept was worth a sequel.
9. Drillbit Taylor (6.0) + Seriously stupid and unfunny.
10. Bangkok Dangerous (5.4) + Seriously serious and ridiculous.

Burn Threats and Four Other Passing Thoughts

With the state in a drought, our brilliant governor says that if his tax-the-crap-out-of-everyone initiatives fail, he's going to reluctantly have to fire a bunch of firefighters and let your cities and hillsides burn to a crisp this fall, because we can't start by cutting stuff like free butter and cheese to elderly folks who have comfortable retirement incomes. "No, we need to start by sending the firemen home." That's the kind of thinking that makes me hate politicians, every last one of them.

Problem: your daughter didn't wear panties to school on yearbook picture day, and she may or may not have flashed a beaver shot in one of the group photos. Solution: notify the media so that they can put you and her on TV, and can broadcast the photo and make sure that absolutely everyone knows about it. It seems like a good case of the medicine being worse than the disease.

C'mon, is it really a surprise that a priest named "Father Cutie" (his real name) would eventually get caught in flagrante delicto with a hottie on the beach?

This week's Jesus appearance comes on a burrito. And this week, Jesus looks like one of the Geico cavemen.

Having had some time to think about it, Nancy Pelosi has come up with this explanation for why she didn't oppose waterboarding until recently. First, says she, when she was first briefed about waterboarding in 2002, she was lied to and told that waterboarding was not going to be used. That's implausible enough, but then she acknowledges learning that others had been briefed on the use of waterboarding in 2003, and she did nothing about it. Why? "No letter could change the policy. It was clear we had to change the leadership in Congress and in the White House. That was my job - the Congress part," Pelosi said. So let's sum up: in 2002, she was shown one thing and told something different, and she went with the verbal representations, because she trusted those liars implicitly. Then in 2003, when she found out about it, it wasn't as important as party politics, which had to be her main focus. And she's two heartbeats away from the White House.

Vote Early and Often

I have a candidate entered in the Register's crazy kids hair contest. Vote at this link. You must be logged in to vote. If you are a new user, go to the registration tab to register for free. If you are an existing user, login above.

Tuesday Travel Photo (No. 230)

Ensenada on a Tuesday in April is dead, and half the people you see are beggars or street vendors. This particular fellow was looking to get a $1 taco during a break from offering to sell chewing gum to the dozens - if that many - of tourists on Lopez Mateos Avenue.

Business was dead, but he did have enough for the taco.

Awkward Family Photos

It's my new favorite website.

Ten Movies I Recently Watched on DVD (No. 21)

Here are another ten recent pulls from the Netflix queue, with my one-to-five plus rating, and the IMDB users' score.

1. City of Ember (6.5) ++++ A solid film from a good book.
2. The Rocker (6.3) ++++ Way funnier than I was expecting. LOL-worthy.
3. Burn After Reading (7.3) ++++ Funny at times, shocking at times. Well done.
4. Leatherheads (6.1) +++ Amusing enough.
5. Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian (7.0) +++ Good entertainment. Not as good as the book.
6. What Happens in Vegas (5.9) ++ The premises are so lame, it affects the funniness.
7. Mitch Albom's For One More Day (5.5) ++ Slow-moving and short of the book.
8. Pineapple Express (7.3) ++ Like a modern Cheech & Chong, except without the funny.
9. Frost/Nixon (8.0) + Boring as hell. I burned a rental on this?
10. Lakeview Terrace (6.3) + Absurd and contrived

Just Manny Being Barry

 

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The L.A. Times is reporting that Manny Ramirez has tested positive for the juice and will be suspended 50 games, starting immediately. So much for the Dodgers' bid to be the first team to go 81-0 at home. Jose Canseco was right again. I think I've reached the point where I would believe just about anything Jose Canseco tells us about steroid use. If he said the actor who plays Dr. Sheldon Cooper on The Big Bang Theory was hitting the juice, I'd be surprised, but I'd believe him.

 

Bonus: The L.A. Times story carries a dateline of May 8, 2009. We got the story a day early! Lucky us.

Say Goodbye to Dick McTear, and Four Other Passing Thoughts

Have you ever been so mad at your girlfriend that you could just chuck her 3-month-old baby out the window on the freeway and kill it, to show her how upset you are? Me, neither. But one guy was that mad. The suspect, Richard McTear, Jr. will probably die in prison soon, with a broken broomstick up his ass. Baby killers with names like Dick McTear generally fare poorly in the can.

MSNBC wonders why FoxNews kicks its ass in the ratings. Here's an illustrative example of why: THIS JUST IN! Barack Obama and his gaffemaster are stopping in a burger joint in Virginia RIGHT NOW! If that story is important enough to interrupt your regularly scheduled programming, then your regularly scheduled programming obviously sucks.

In hindsight, the acting performances in Top Gun keep looking more and more brilliant with every gay rumor and revelation. Kelly McGillis is "done with the man thing?" Say it ain't so.

The "scandal" about Carrie Prejean having posed in lingerie, with her back to the camera and arms folded over her chest is lame. Why are gay rights advocates bitching so much about her outspoken belief that marriage should be between a man and a woman? That's the same view that their idol, Barack Obama, holds. The only difference between Prejean and Obama is that Obama is in a position to affect public policy, and Prejean isn't. That, and she looks a lot better in panties than the president could ever hope to look.

Rest in peace, Jack Kemp. I sometimes wonder how different the world would be today if Ronald Reagan had picked Kemp as his running mate in 1980. George H.W. Bush probably would never have been president, but Kemp probably would have been, after winning the 1988 election. Perhaps George W. Bush wouldn't have even become governor of Texas, much less POTUS. Maybe Bill Clinton's first election wouldn't have been until 1996. Monica Lewinsky, 9/11, Saddam Hussein and hanging chads might mean nothing to us today. Perhaps we wouldn't even have a half-Irish president in the White House right now.

Tuesday Travel Photo (No. 229)

I'm still amazed at how lucky I get sometimes. Take spring break this year, for example. We skipped out on a really great cruise to the Mexican Riviera and instead took a much more modest vacation cruise to Ensenada so we could be back in time for my daughter's soccer game. The game got cancelled. If we had known it would be cancelled, we'd have taken the fancier cruise. And we would never have stopped in Catalina, and experienced this dolphin encounter. The thing I like about this picture is that you can see our ship in the background, and you can see four different dolphins at the surface.

I took about 800 pictures in less than 20 minutes. I won't post them all, I promise.

Ducks 2 Red Wings 1

My buddy scored some awesome ducats for the Ducks' second round game against the Detroit Red Wings. We were just 7 rows off the ice, slightly inside of the blue line.
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In this picture, the Ducks celebrate their second goal of the night, by Scott Niedermeyer. The assist by Carter on Selanne's goal in the first period was incredible.
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Red Wings fans are screaming about a whistle that blew the puck dead just a couple of seconds before what would have been the game-tying goal. Even from my totally awesome seats, I couldn't tell if the right call was made. There is no question, however, that the puck was dead.
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Score: Ducks 2 Red Wings 1
Series: Ducks 2 Red Wings 1
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How to Travel Light

If you like to travel, and you hate lugging around all that crap you always take with you, this blog post is awesome: How to Travel the World with 10 Pounds or Less, by Tim Ferriss, author of The 4-Hour Work Week.

Kissing Masked Guys and Four Other Thoughts on the Passing World

The swine flu virus is sparking a new "social distancing" trend in which people are shaking hands less and bumping elbows more. In related news, if you are healthy, and you're kidding your girl, also healthy, through a mask, you might be dumb enough to get your picture shared throughout the Internet. A sexy scene from Spiderman notwithstanding, kissing someone in a mask is lame.

I rarely get geeked about horse racing, but wow, that Kentucky Derby was worth replaying a few times on TiVo. Mine That Bird was 60/1 when I was reading the odds, and closed at 50/1. Dude ran down the stretch from dead last, from the mudspray zone, and smoked everybody. This was a $9,500 horse as a yearling. Sadly, he's a gelding, so those massive stud fees that most Kentucky Derby winners earn will not be coming his way.

In the land of China, in order to bury your dead, you sometimes have to murder someone. If Phil Spector was Chinese, he'd be able to bury his dead now.

Stuff I used to do a lot, but now spend very little time doing: reading every single thing on Fark, reading every tweet from my friends list on twitter, and looking at stuff on eBay. eBay killed so many markets that were funneling money into the company. Now, it's dying on the vine. No surprise to me.

Old and busted: human activity has caused global warming. New hotness: a rogue government or insurgent group might be able to alter Earth's climate within a few years. Lex Luthor would be making a fortune in today's world.

Free Red Mango Today

To celebrate the fruit and citrus flavor, invented by Red Mango founder Dan Kim, participating Red Mango shops will give customers a free, one-topping scoop on Saturday from noon to 4 p.m. Red Mango has frozen yogurt shops in Fullerton, Newport Beach, Laguna Niguel and Irvine. I've never tried it. I'd never even noticed or heard of Red Mango yogurt before, but it's free, so I thought I'd pass it along.

When El Pollo Loco had its free giveaway earlier this week, it was such a zoo, I decided to go elsewhere for lunch and come back the next day and just pay for my two-piece chicken meal. Hopefully, this will be a little less crazy.

April 2009 Demiblog Links

I did little blogging in April, even on the demiblog. Here are the few links I shared last month:

• Louis Caldera, the Official who OK'd the N.Y. flyby for Air Force One, is an idiot who should be fired immediately.
  
• Nanny State link #2: Man fined for harming a living tree by stapling a flier.
  
• Nanny State link of the day: hanging baskets banned from town because watering them would be 'too dangerous'
  
• Congress would like to remind you that those tea bags you sent them to protest new taxes look a lot like anthrax
  
• Paperboys to be called media distributions officers, or some such crap.
  
• Playmobil unleashes legal action against toy Bible
  
• Ducks clinch a spot in the playoffs with win over Dallas.
  
• Angels honor Nick Adenhart by pounding Boston 6-3
  
• Phoenix police harass photographer under Homeland Security pretense
  
• No surprise here: being poor and stressed out makes your brain freak out.
  
• Acne-faced bitch indicted for murder in DUI case
  
• Carlos Mencia is now the #2 choke artist among the world's worst comedians.
  
• How not to party in TJ: Local teenager found dead in Tijuana was drunk, high, stoned and it was his own knife stuck in his body.
  
• PSA: Once you've faked your own death, you should try to not get caught cheating in a Vegas casino.
  
• PSA: If some bitches offer you a $35,000 monthly return on a $4,995 investment, IT'S A SCAM!
  
• Wanna surf a hole?
  
• DeMar DeRozan is heading to DeNBA.
  
• A mulatto, an albino, a mosquito, my libido, 15 years ago.
  
• Angels on track to lose 81 games
  
• Player of the Year Blake Griffin to enter NBA draft
  
• Angels on track to finish season 162-0, outscore opponents 486-0.
  
• Los Angeles Clippers forward Zach Randolph arrested for DUI. Admit it, you'd get drunk too if you were banished to the Clippers
  
• Michael Jordan, David Robinson, John Stockton to join NBA Hall of Fame in 2009
  
• Yummy foie gras debate heats up
  
• My liberal friends were right.