Yahoo's Most Popular Pictures page is currently featuring this shot of former California Assembly Speaker Herb Wesson kicking a Buddhist monk in the jimmies. Oh, how I would love to see a picture of the monk booting Wesson in the nuts. Kick back, Mr. Monk!
The picture parade doesn't end there. This one cracks me up, too. "Is that a horn, or are you just excited to be sitting on my head?"
And check out this picture of David Lee Roth. Does he look like Joe Pesci with long hair, or what?
I don't just look at the pictures, though. I read, too. And today was quite a day for reading. My morning began with a bit of good news from yesterday. My local appellate court had issued an opinion that began as follows:
"This case illustrates how adroit lawyering at the trial level can save a win on a motion to compel arbitration when that victory is challenged on appeal."
Whose adroit lawyering were they talking about? Mine (and my legal team's). I'm fairly jazzed by this. The only bummer is that the opinion is not going to be officially published. Still, it isn't every day that a Presiding Justice praises me on my lawyering skills. I guess the planets must be aligned or something.
I was not the big legal news story today, though. The big legal news story today (aside from Kobe confronting his accuser) was atheist Michael Newdow's argument before the U.S. Supreme Court, seeking to toss the phrase "under God" from the Pledge of Allegiance. The single most absurd comment made was Newdow's claim that he distressed over how his daughter would be singled out by not saying the Pledge in school (which, of course, assumes that she would refuse if given a free choice) and would be coerced to participate against her will. "Imagine you're a third-grader in a class of thirty kids. That's enormous pressure to put on a child," Newdow argued.
True, Mike, but imagine how she's going to feel if she becomes famous for being the little girl who made the Pledge of Allegiance illegal. What little girl wants to be known as the Jane Roe or Madalyn Murray O’Hair of her generation?
And, Mike, what if it backfires? As most people know, Jane Roe (Norma McCorvey) is now a pro-life Christian activist, and O'Hair's son, William Murray, is a born-again Christian. What if your kid becomes an avid theist?
I'm fascinated by this latest scientific finding -- possible evidence of the mutation that might have caused the earliest humans to branch off from their apelike ancestors. But it causes me concern, because, as some of you may know, everyone who believes in evolution is going straight to hell with Mr. Newdow. And I don't want to go to hell. Unless I'm in the Cayman Islands. Even then, it's not that great.
Wait. I just found out that all Catholics are already going to hell. So, I guess there's no harm in me believing in a pre-human genetic mutation theory after all. In that case, check out the article. It's controversial, but intriguing.
Also in the news today, we found out what motivates suicide bombers to kill innocent people in Israel. It is the lure of about $20 cash and the possibility of having sex with 72 virgins in heaven. Frankly, I would hold out for more money, and I would demand the virgins up front.
Even if the Jayhawks beat Alabama Birmingham on Friday, as is expected, Blazer fans will still be able to chant "Kansas Sucks!" And they will be right. How bad does Kansas suck? Kansas sucks so bad, that to get people to move there, they have to give away free land. Ouch.
You know what sucks as bad as Kansas? The remake of Bob Marley's "Redemption Song" by Johnny Cash and the Clash's Joe Strummer. I don't want to disrespect the dead (and I used to idolize Strummer) but this version is just plain ugly.
Speaking of ugly, the Von Bondies are playing tonight at the House of Blues. Also on the ticket: the Bar Room Heroes. Jason Stollsteimer, front man for the Von Bondies, could have used a bar room hero last December when White Stripes lead singer Jack White beat the crap out of him at the Magic Stick in Detroit. But he didn't have one then.
At least he'll be safe tonight.
I never thought I'd ever see the day where DLR and Joe Pesci looked alike. Oh well...DLR will always be a hottie to me--even if he's getting to be a little older than your average sex symbol.
Posted by: Retro Girl | March 26, 2004 at 00:19