Do you remember that Tigger dude who was acquitted of groping a teenage girl in Orlando, then got sent back to work as "something other than Tigger"? I was keeping my eye out for that dude, but I couldn't really tell who was inside the costume. It turns out, we probably encountered him. He was pulling duty as Goofy in Camp Minnie Mickey at the Animal Kingdom. And he's in trouble again. Here he is shown on the left, keeping a safe distance from my daughter so he wouldn't get his ass kicked from Orlando to the Netherworld.
You know the end of the world must be approaching if judges in New York are perfectly okay with jurors using drugs and getting drunk during trial.
But the most certain sign of the pending apocalypse is this: Mary Kate and Ashley are the new celebrity spokespersons for McDonald's. Yes, there is an anorexic pimping Happy Meals for the world's biggest fat vendor. What's next, Stephen Hawking getting a Nike endorsement?
Supporters of John Kerry have reached a new low -- ripping up a three-year-old girl's Bush-Cheney poster and making her cry. Nice going, asshats.
In more pleasant news, the Monterey Bay Aquarium has announced that it has a great white shark in captivity which has accepted food. This is a breakthrough, because most great whites die in captivity or must be released quickly because they will not eat unless they are in open water. I hope the shark keeps eating, because I'll be in Monterey in a few weeks and I'd like to see it.
Two Americans and one British man were kidnapped in Baghdad's upscale al-Mansour neighborhood. This was a real eye-opening story for me. I had no idea there were upscale neighborhoods in Iraq.
Some dude likes to scale buildings dressed as Batman. Can you believe this guy's girlfriend would break up with him?
Did you know that naked hurricane survivors don't really need clothing? Just ask Teresa Heinz Kerry. "Clothing is wonderful, but let them go naked for a while, at least the kids," said Heinz Kerry, who rates generators well ahead of clothing on her list of priorities. I'd love to be at her house when the power goes out. "Alright! Everyone get nekked until we get some electricity in here!" Actually, she's not that attractive. Maybe I don't want to be there. And since she seems to only really like the idea of the little kids going nekked, maybe it would be more suitable for Michael Jackson to attend.
And, as long as we're on the subject of disgusting pervs, is it too much to ask of the media that you distinguish between my USC and those cocks in South Carolina when one of them tries to reenact the Porky's girl's shower scene and gets arrested? When you read the headline: "USC swimmer admits to spying in women's showers", you probably assumed it was a Trojan getting busted. Wrong. It was a Gamecock.
Looks like the three-year-old's father is a professional victim of this sort of thing...
Posted by: Vidiot | September 17, 2004 at 17:01
Jeffrey Kaufman, Chartrand's attorney in the Tigger case, said the new claims were bogus.
"Goofy is always playful," said Kaufman, who himself portrays characters at Disney part time and said he has played Goofy "hundreds of times."
What kind of attorney needs to play Goofy part-time on the side?
Not one I'd hire...
Posted by: Vidiot | September 17, 2004 at 16:55