Another list of stuff to do online.
First, some monkey stuff:
You can buy a japanese video of the famous Monkey movie.
You can read about sexually frustrated monkeys getting satisfaction by shocking zoo visitors into dropping their cigarettes, then bumming the smoke off 'em.
This guy isn't a monkey, but he looks like one.
The official website for Mojo-Jojo, the nemesis of the Power Puff Girls.
There are always another few interesting blogs to read:
The Orlando Sentinel did a news blog during Charley's crossing.
Ariel Meadow has a test to answer that question: Are you electrolicious? I got 40 points, "well on [my] way to electroliciousness." Pretty good for a stuffy Republican trial lawyer.
Cranky Greg cracks me up again with his tales of Beavis-like adventures in astronomy class.
With a name like Two Dumb Blondes, I was expecting something different than an ordinary young French mother.
For more international flavor, Irish Eyes is a good read. It makes me long for a pint of Guinness.
You can take quizzes or tests:
If you play poker, you want to be able to spot the fish. If you are just a person who reads emails, you need to know how to spot the phish.
Is that a dog toy, or a marital aid?
Old and busted: Am I hot or am I not?
New hotness: Am I fugly?
I am part of the 2%. I came up with an answer that, shall we say, a Nebraska fan might have come up with.
You can watch video:
The best home run video of 2004.
A clip from the Family Guy: Bad Roaches.
These guys built a chair that would fit in a FedEx box. It's not that interesting, but not a huge time investments.
This is pretty lame: Banana phone.
I remember my aunt showing me this on VHS years ago and laughing so hard she almost coughed up a lung. It wasn't that funny, but it's amusing. The farting preacher.
This animation is creepy: Salad Fingers. There is, of course, a sequel.
The Rockfish episode.
A very good reason not to smoke. Or, for that matter, not to go outside.
Another All Your Base Are Belong to Us thingy.
You can play games:
Shoot into the spinning circles.
This is the best. Gorillazs features this driving thing. I could do this for hours, if I had hours.
You can try some activities:
When you are bored, you can just hit ubored.com and find a million things to do.
Find the hidden picture. I apologize in advance.
Check out the time capsule. What happened on this day?
Pick a page with a jpg and make a kaleidoscope out of it.
You can see strange or interesting stuff:
I know some of you would rather see a burning Bush, but I can bring you the dancing Bush.
Check out these dramatic weather photos.
ESPN's 25 favorite sports commercials.
The Satanic Kerry Hamsterdance.
Dirt surfing, the new crazy extreme sport.
Funny photos from the recent Olympics.
Running totals of tons of things worth tracking on Earth. e.g., total world human population, 6,420,342,001 as of the moment of this post.
It's not my bag, baby, but here's a site with about a trillion photos of cats.
You can learn something new:
How to fry tomatoes, link courtesy of Don Nunn.
Do you know the real reason Michael Moore has submitted Fahrenheit 9/11 for the best picture award in the general film category, rather than the best documentary category? Because documentaries are not supposed to be fiction. Here's a list of 59 bullshit lies told by the fat man in his movie.
PETA might not like it, but if you have skin problems, I won't fault you if you kill a shark and take his bile. Shark bile is good for your skin.
George Lucas wants more billions. More billions are more important than the original oath to never film the final three episodes of the nine-part Star Wars saga. Solution: Lucas will make the movies. Harrison Ford and Mark Hamill to start hunting sharks immediately.
Who are the most influential Christians in America? Start, of course, with George Bush.
As it turns out, you can fall 11,500 feet without dying. People who died after falling off second story balconies must be feeling pretty stupid right about now.
The finest reputation as a college for quarterbacks belongs to Miami. USC is 8th.
Transparent aluminum is almost here.
A gold mine of data regarding airplane crashes. For example, Quantas has never crashed. But you knew that.
You can buy strange or wonderful things:
You missed out on a chance to pay $400 for a missing doggy poster Paris Hilton slapped on a telephone pole. Then again, if you swipe her dog, there will probably be more for the taking.
You can buy a yearbook that features a picture of me, as a freshman, sitting in the senior square.
You can buy a copy of GoodFellas, autographed by Henry Hill. But hurry, before he gets whacked.
You can buy an anatomically correct (if somewhat exaggerated) monkey costume.
You can add to your collection of athletic Jesus figurines.
You missed out on the 14K White Gold Claddagh ring for $300, but if you hurry, you can read the sad, sad, story behind the sale.
Do you use Stamps.com? If so, you can buy stamps with your picture on them. Or the Unabomber's.
If you really love the Renaissance Fair, you can buy an entire Renaissance Festival, land included. But your bid better beat $1,199,300.00 (which did not meet the reserve).
You can sit and wonder what these people were thinking:
You would invest with a firm that plans to use time travel to boost your return?
Some loser is willing to be your best friend, if you pay him.
These people are proud to molest statues.
Every year, more and more people are attached a shitpotfull of balloons to lawn chairs so they can fly.
How unobservant must you be to let your skin grow over the ring on your finger?
You can puzzle over why these twins were not raised together:
Mel Brooks and Lee Corso.
Amy Jo Johnson and Jennifer Garner.
Woody Harrelson and Eagle Colo. District Attorney Mark Hurlbert.
Texas running back Cedric Benson and former Texas running back Ricky Williams.
You can check out a place far, far away via web cam:
Celebration, Florida. (I assume the bovine knew about this one, but I found it on my very own.)
Duvall Street in Key West (streets are emtpier than normal with Ivan coming)
The Jamaica webcam is showing reruns (seriously) because of Ivan.
That's not all you can do online, but it's a start.
http://digg.com/celebrity/Lisa_Ann_2
Posted by: | April 14, 2008 at 09:38
Thank you, once again, for making my lunch break more interesting. And I didn't know about that Celebration camera; I sent it on to my folks.
Posted by: Cow | September 13, 2004 at 12:32