Another list of stuff I've seen in the past week or so.
First, some monkey stuff:
First, you need to learn all about gorillas.
Then you will be qualified to buy and wear gorilla shirts from here.
Read about the buyer of 100 dead monkeys.
Bart Simpson's Legend of the Blue Monkeys.
There are always another few interesting blogs to read:
This guy might deserve to go on the blogroll, because I've been reading the Irish Trojan quite regularly.
The truth in advertising folks should have no complaint about the name of this blog: The Dullest Blog in the World.
There be a blog for the Tour de France, which is not that remarkable. What is remarkable is that it has a year-round subject matter.
I added College Ball to the blog roll. It will become an increasingly good read as we make our way toward March Madness™.
You can take quizzes or tests:
I don't remember if I posted the link to this personality test before.
Which Nigerian spammer are you?
Even if you don't know what faith you are, Belief-O-Matic™ knows. I thought I was Roman Catholic. I might not be.
You can watch amazing or amusing videos:
President Bush and his one finger victory salute.
Do you remember reading about the Kryptonite locks that could be picked with a Bic pen? Download or open a video demonstrating how effortless the picking is.
This is just an mp3, but I loved it. The most evil crank call in a long time. We have to let Bob go.
You can play games:
Touch the black. Dodge the red.
Is your hand steady enough to get past the second level?
This is great. It's like that one motorcycle racing game from the arcades that I can't remember.
You can do odd things:
Make your cursor disappear. Note: this one goes down a lot.
Kill the popups, kill the popups.
The dyslexic's alphabet board nightmare.
Rate the opposite sex applying this standard: how many beers would it take?
You can see strange or interesting stuff:
If this is not the Lousiana state quarter, it should be.
Tell your kids: its not a giant mutant fly from the center of the Earth. It's just a bug that landed on the volcano webcam.
Check out this forest walking machine thingy. It's better for the environment than a bulldozer.
This is a pleasing image, as long as you keep the cursor from going any farther than 1/8 inch into the happy face.
You can learn something new:
Like, how many calories did I just burn with that sex act?
Admit it, your life would be better if you knew how well the Sheffield United Football Club was doing.
This is a somewhat flippant guide to scrotum safety.
How to hook up when you are in Japan. The domain name is "pen is mightier", not "penis mightier."
You can buy strange or wonderful things:
Prosthetic testicles, it turns out, are big business. And you know who would make a great spokesman? Ellen DeGeneres.
If your online poker game features more bad players than you have time to beat, you can use a poker bot.
The Floating Bed. If you like it, buy it now, before they go out of business.
You sweaty construction types probably wish you could find a good kilt to wear to work, don't you?
You can sit and wonder what these people were thinking:
This guy worries way too much about his penis. Way too much.
Old and Busted: Tattoos. New Hotness: Carving grooves of meaningless patterns into your arms.
A fascinating collection of dogs whose owners hate them. When I say "woof," I mean "I hate you."
Homely poser pirate with an eye patch says: "This page is about me and why everything I like is great. If you disagree with anything you find on this page, you are wrong." If that's right, then I must be sooooo wrong.
You can puzzle over why these twins were not raised together:
Ex-pro wrestler George "The Animal" Steele and Tim Conway.
Michael Jackson and Joan Crawford.
Tobey Maguire and Jake Gyllenhaal.
You can read strange news stories that your local news clowns aren't reporting:
Barely literate "artist" Maria Alquilar misspelled the names of famous people in world history on a large ceramic mosaic outside Livermore's new library, and so agreed to come back and fix it, then changed her mind, declaring: "The art chose the words."
Drive on the wrong side of the road, kill someone, and you might get charged with murder.
People who used to earn a living stripping flesh from dead things may soon find that their jobs have been outsourced to flesh-eating beetles.
Bob Dole may be very happy about the discovery of Viagra, but even happier are the deer, snakes and seals that no longer have their penises hunted by New Zealanders who used to sell said members to flaccid Chinese men.
You can check out a place far, far away via web cam:
Catalina Island, off the coast of Southern California.
Another Orlando webcam, this one shows Epcot.
Here's a live view of the Sandia Mountains in Albuquerque, New Mexico.
Finally, you can crank these spammers and scammers.
I got an email purporting to be from pornstar Mercedes Ashley. The number was (800) 275-5336 x0231046. It wanted me to go to http://216.130.173.158 and login with my personal financial information and passwords. Instead, I just called the 800 number a few times from a pay phone while I was waiting around with time to kill. It cost 'em a few nickels.
Revenue.net is one of those companies that advertise with the asshats who secretly install spyware on your computer. "We offer a sophisticated banner network that can be user targeted by channel and keyword and is automatically and continuously optimized using our RevenueNET optimization technology," say they. And they do it by commandeering your computer. They are located at 818 W. 7th St., Suite 700, Los Angeles CA 90017. Their fax number is (213) 892.1214. Send them some unsolicited faxes and let them know what you think.
MyDishNow also advertises with the asshats who secretly install spyware on your computer. Send them some spam at [email protected].
You and your computer are making the world a better place.
Today was a loss. I just don't have anything to say. Not that it matters.
Posted by: people | September 23, 2007 at 21:18