A self-described "devout Baptist" couple bought a copy of "The Pajama Game" at a Safeway supermarket and got more than they bargained for. When they popped their new disc in their DVD player, instead of Doris Day, they saw an Italian sex film.
Devout Christians that they are, they knew that they needed to return the DVD to the store to inform them of the mix-up, to get their money back, and to make sure no one else was subjected to the shocking mix-up. So they did so immediately. Well, maybe not immediately.
I didn't know this before, but it turns out that "devout Baptists" are not supposed to view pornographic material unless they are able to invoke the "I couldn't believe the wicked things those fornicators were doing on my own television set" exception. So go ahead and rent those adult videos, folks, because if you can't believe it, it's not a sin.
In Canada, reluctant crusader Daryl Clark has made it safe for masturbators to abuse themselves in the privacy of their own homes. The Supreme Court of Canada has ruled that masturbation in one's own home is not a public offense, because the living room of one's private home was not a place to which the public has access "as of right or by invitation, express or implied."
That, in and of itself, is somewhat amusing. But to be thoroughly amused, you need to read more of the the story. For example, who was the offended, complaining party? How blatant was the monkey-spanker? How did this offense comes to pass?
It all started when Clark's unidentified neighbors noticed some movement in Clark's living room. Thinking it was their business to investigate further, the wife moved to another room for a better view, then called her husband over, and they two of them "watched Clark for up to 15 minutes from the privacy of their darkened bedroom." They "took care to avoid being seen," peering out from underneath their lowered blinds. They then used binoculars and a telescope to get a better view, and tried, unsuccessfully, to videotape Clark, because they were "understandably concerned." They then called police.
From the street, the cop could only see Clark from the neck up. From the neighbour's bedroom, he could only see Clark from the belly up. His naughty junk was only visible once the officer shone his flashlight in Clark's window at close range. Clark was then arrested, charged and convicted, resulting in the successful appeal.
Two questions remain unanswered. First, if these people were so offended, why didn't they avert their eyes? At the very least, they shouldn't have stared for so long, with binoculars, a telescope and video camera. Second, how long does Mr. Clark take to spank it?
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