Is it just me, or does one of the cavemen from that Geico commercial -- the one who loses his appetite -- look like Val Kilmer underneath all that caveman makeup and stuff?
Scientists in India have discovered two fossils fused together in sexual union for 65 million years. That makes them the third and fourth oldest fossils ever known to have engaged in sex. The two oldest are Anna Nicole's last husband, and the guy she's working on right now.
I read an article that says Wal-Mart's workforce is aging faster that the national average. That makes sense. If I worked at WalMart, I’d age faster than average too.
So Joey Buttafuoco is now selling protein shakes for a living. Seriously, people, if you knowingly purchase a protein shake from Joey Buttafuoco, you deserve whatever the hell you get.
If I was Lewis Libby, and I thought that there was even the remotest chance that I would be going to prison, the first thing I would do is make sure people stop calling me Scooter. Going into prison with a nickname like Scooter is like asking to become the next poster child for goatse. If you don't know what that is, you probably don't want to know.
Ashlee Simpson's record debuted at number one again. Someone explain that crap to me. There are literally a thousand deserving bands who create their own music, and do it well, and still never got a sniff of the number one spot. Ashlee Simpson, who is best known for making an ass of herself every time she appears live on national TV, sings a bunch of shit, and enough stupid teenage girls buy it to push it to number one on the Billboard charts. Sure, it dropped to number six in just one week, but still, somewhere, in the distance, another seal of the Apocalypse must be cracked and breaking.
This isn't exactly timely, but I just noticed that Fern from Charlotte's Web looks a lot like Wendy from Peter Pan.
I'm sure he plans to stick around, but the last time a president was as unpopular as George W. Bush is right now, he quit.
In the single most pathetic thing I had read in at least a year, CNN reported today that Federal Emergency Management chief Michael Brown sent an email to an acquaintance, a few days after Katrina struck, saying "I'm trapped now, please rescue me." You're doing a helluva job, Brownie.
And this one I stole from a client who heard it on the radio:
The White Sox beat Houston four times in five days. That may sound like a lot, but Bobby Brown still holds that record.
goatse man lives on!
Posted by: Andre | November 04, 2005 at 02:33