We finally decided to try Netflix, and now I am overdue for another "Lex's Untimely Movie Reviews." The first two movies we got were Million Dollar Baby, which I hated, and Hotel Rwanda, which I liked. I was expecting Million Dollar Baby to be a female version of Rocky. It was more like a boxing version of Born on the Fourth of July. It bummed me out. I hate movies that bum me out. I don't need to pay money and spend two hours of my life getting bummed out. I can do that whenever I want for free.
Hotel Rwanda bummed me out, too, but it also had elements of redemption and heroism. In that respect, it was more like an African Schindler's List. It was very well done, and it taught me a great deal about a conflict that I never really understood. One bit of advice though: do not watch Hotel Rwanda right before you go to sleep. It does not foster happy dreams.
I hadn't been watching the Olympics until pretty now, but Johnny (Are You Queer) Weir's meltdown was priceless Must-See TV. Does anyone on the planet think this nancyboy is not gay? He refuses to come out of the closet, but he's fooling nobody. He refuses to discuss his sexuality, which, in and of itself, is a 99% indicator of gayness. Ask any straight man if he is gay and you'll either get a quick "No" or a quick punch in the nose. I could almost understand it if the Wier was very circumspect, but he's not. Ask him about anything and he'll blabber on for twenty minutes. You can even ask about his personal life (other than who he'd like to share a tent with in the mountains) and he'll chatter on like a 12 year old girl with her first cell phone. But he refuses to admit that he's a heterosexual. Because, of course, he's probably not.
Some people think the subject should never be raised at all. J.A. Adande asked "Could you imagine the losing quarterback of the Super Bowl being asked whether he liked men? That's how ridiculous this sounded." I disagree somewhat, and for reasons entirely different than Adande's, I agree somewhat. Straight men are known to play football. However, few straight men are interested in figure skating. An NFL quarterback who is gay is news. An ice skater who is gay is not. A figure skater who likes women is news.
Even better Must-See TV is the women's snowboardcross event. Tonight, I had been considering going out to a fancy dinner, but I can't stand to miss Lindsey Jacobellis on the snowboardcross finals. Click this link if you haven't heard, but want to read about it before the broadcast. Some people win gold medals. Some people win silver medals. Some people win bronze medals. But some medal winners are complete losers. Today, I'd rather be a pathetic non-athlete than an Olympic medal winner like Jacobellis.
I wanted to watch the skeleton, even after I found out that neither Olsen Twin was competing in the skeleton, but I haven't had a chance. Is there anything not to love about people who are drunk or on drugs sliding down the ice at 300 mpg with nothing underneath them but a piece of equipment about 40 microns thick? What could possibly go wrong? (A: I don't know, but it could be spectacular.)
I didn't, however, want to watch curling. Even a nude curlers calendar can't make me care about shuffleboard on ice.
But the Olympics are not the only thing happening in sports this week. There is also college basketball. The best story in college basketball this week comes from the Stanford Cardinal and its mascot, the Tree, who was removed from a game for being drunk and disorderly. She blew a .15, which resulted in her dismissal from the mascot program. I'll bet Stanford alumni are grateful now that the school stopped calling itself the Indians. Could you imagine the outcry if an Indian mascot was removed from a game for being drunk and disorderly?
Does Duke play against Stanford this year? I'd love to see the Duke fans greet the Tree.
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