Last week, I discovered that I am very grateful for not having OCD. My new car has one of those keyless remote deals. You don't put a key in the ignition. You sort of area-tag the start button. I like that you start this car the same way you start the Mach 5, but I don't like the automatic door unlocking feature, because it makes it impossible to double-check whether you locked the door.
I had a $1,000 camera in the car, so I wanted to make sure the door was locked. Unfortunately, my car detects that I am nearby with the key, so it automatically unlocks the door for me. Thanks, but no thanks, Lexus. I want to pull on the door and see that it will no open, thank you.
I had to walk over to a tree, set the key in the tree, and walk back.
My kids' school had its annual father-daighter dance this weekend. It seems like it's the same dads every year at this thing. Only about ten girls from each class has her dad there. It's really kind of sad. What kind of father blows off the father-daughter dance? Every year?
There was this story in the news recently about an ad slogan "I Am" being blasphemous. If "I Am" is the name of God, and using it to refer to yourself is a blasphemy, then the English language is seriously flawed. I say "I am" all the time, e.g.:
"Who's the smart ass who put joked about Jack Wild dying of cancer?"
"I am."
Blasphemer!
In two weeks, it will be my favorite holiday, St. Patrick's Day. The House of Blues always features The Young Dubliners. Sadly, this year, it will be the Los Angeles HOB, not the Anaheim HOB. The "Dubs" are my favorite live band. This year, Anaheim gets the Fenians -- no slouches, but not quite the qualitiy of the Dubs, in my opinion.
Kobe Bryant is averaging almost 36 points a game. He used to score 24 or so.
Shaq is under 19 a game. He used to get about 25.
Chris Mihm is around 10 or 11 points a game.
So Kobe and Shaq was about 49 points, and Kobe and Mihm are good for about 47.
In spite of this, I have now gone longer into the season without attending a Laker home than I had since Cedric Ceballos was on the cover of the Laker media guide.
Remember when Buzzie Bavasi said he could replace Nolan Ryan (16-14) with "a pair of 8-7 pitchers?" Mitch Kupchak needs to ignore any friendly advice he gets from Bavasi.
This weekend, it was 55 degrees in Southern California, and ordinary guys were walking around wearing wool wool caps. Little sleazy girls next to them, however, were in bandage-sized miniskirts.
I spoke out again in a bathroom stall this weekend. I do not mind farts and other bodily noises. No man does. But grunts disgust me. And a celebratory "Ah!" will be met with a swift scolding along the lines of "Shut the f*ck up, asshole."
We spent Saturday at Downtown Disney. It was pretty cool. Though we spent a lot of money on dinner, you can actually get 3-5 hours of totally free entertainment there with all the bands and street-performer types there. But mothers, don't let your boys go to a girl's birthday party at Build-a-Bear unless you want him to grow up gay. Saw a kid walking down the Build-a-Bear stairs chanting "We just had a party.... We just had a party...." It was the gayest thing I'd seen all weekend until the Oscars.
We would take great offense at a white actor in blackface playing a black man in the movies. Why, if sexual orientation and race are so comparable as "innate characteristics," do we take no offense to a straight guy playing a gay character? The answer, I suppose, is "We don't know. None of us actually saw Brokeback Mountain." Go Crash!
Good night, and good luck.
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