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Conservatives for Personal Responsibility

Look at the bullshit the KosWiki has ripping conservatives for personal responsibility in their daily personal, social and political lives:

Are you willing to give up a night with your family or your beer to help a friend in need? A friend calls up at 5:30 on a Saturday and says (s)he really needs your help? Then you're not a Republican Conservative.

Are you willing to give your time, your thought, your sweat, your convenience... to help a friend in need? Even though that friend hasn't called you in a while? Then you're not a Republican Conservative.

Your good friend (whom you haven't heard from in quite a while) has suddenly been fired. (yeah, thankfully, they have Unemployment Insurance (A 'lieberal' invention, if ever there was one) to see them through the next few months). Do you say 'tough tittie, my loser acquaintance, hope you aren't homeless the next time you call' or do you extend the hand, the shoulder, the sympathy? If you do, you're not a Republican Conservative.

Conservatives like to talk about personal responsibility. Usually, this is an excuse for selfish behavior, a way of saying, “go fend for yourself, weakling, I ain’t helping.” But the phrase has such a nice sound to it… personal responsibility… that it’s hard to counter.

Meanwhile, liberals support the idea that Americans have a responsibility to their fellow men; that we should care about each other and help each other out in a pinch. We call this virtue charity or social responsibility.

I am proposing that we rename charity to interpersonal responsibility – literally, the responsibility we have to each other. This renaming has two effects. First, the word “responsibility” emphasizes the fact that it’s not an option. Taking care of each other isn’t something we can do if we feel nice this afternoon. It’s a daily responsibility, which we owe to each other.

Second, the phrase interpersonal responsibility is intentionally similar to the phrase personal responsibility. The similarity implicitly places the two value systems in face-to-face contrast with each other. While personal responsibility sounds good taken in isolation, it sounds cheap and selfish when placed side-by-side with interpersonal responsibility. It’s the difference between looking out for numero uno and looking out for one’s fellow man.

To maximize the effect, we need to push this as a dichotomy. The goal is to make it so that every time a conservative says “personal responsibility,” the listener will silently finish the sentence: “or interpersonal responsibility, which is morally superior?”

yes..."interpersonal responsibility" means nothing?? Do you really think most voters know what this means??? This only serves to re-enforce the notion that all liberals are hi-falutin', and ......ELITE AND NUANCED. We must reach people on the issue of "Responsibility" head on, and the way republicans do it. Which simply put,...responsibility means you take care of yourself,( and if you haven't...go to charity, friends, or Jesus.) Born again church groups and prayer groups will help you, and you of course become new REP voters as well. RESPONSIBILITY IS A VICE intended to bring in religion, AND SHAME for those unable to plan better, or be unfortunate enough to have been caught up in an unforseen disaster. Again..".Responsibility "induces begging, prayer, dependence, shame, and finally and very cleverly lets Govt participation in our social responsibility/compact with our citizens off the hook. "Interpersonal Responsibiity" with who? We should reframe Reponsibility and attack and expose the manner in which repubs use these slogans/memes against AVOIDING THEIR responsibility to us. Suggestion: " Republican Responibility Means Refusal"Refusal is Republican Responsibility"......."Responsibility means having the ability to work so as to feed our families. To pay for drugs, to educate our children, etc. There are memes here and good framing for dems against the repub use of this framing.

Lex TV 113

Here are another dozen amusing videos:

Craig Ferguson with correspondent Tim Meadows and his Britney Spears hoo-hah detector.

Did you know Mexico has a desert with a bunch of Bermuda Triangle sort of bullshit legends?

USC-bound OJ Mayo gets thrown out of a game, while the ref takes a dive.

When Family Guy meets A-ha and MTV.

PSA: If you were considering a roast of Bill Gates, don't expect him to be a good sport about it.

[Ad] This ad pisses me off. I'll pay cash when I damn well feel like it.

The argument known as The Pigskin.

Some foreign language film about Cork, Ireland. Makes me wanna go.

Worst hockey goal ever?

This is one of the very funniest SNL bits of all time. The Chippendale's audition.

That 80's Movie Ending clichè fest.

Ten really good opening credits. My favorite is Snatch.

[Ad] Apple's ads on Iraqi TV.

Tuesday Travel Photo (No. 112)

This is another shot of the burned forest of Yellowstone National Park. These trees burned in 1988 and are still standing. The greenery below them is about ten to fifteen feet high.

I felt nervous around these trees. It just makes sense that their cold dead roots could unleash them to come crashing down on my head any minute. So I did not linger along paths in this part of the park.

fbxrd

Amazingly enough, a google search for "fbxrd" yields 294 hits. In a moment, I'll make it 295.

The New Image of Disneyland

In Disneyland's current podcast, John Dennis, Director of Music for Walt Disney Imagineering & Theme Park Productions, creative supervision of music for disney park attractions, explains the park's newest attractions, Rockin' Space Mountain and California Screamin' featuring soundtracks from the music of the Red Hot Chili Peppers. When asked how they chose the Red Hot Chili Peppers, he described it like this:

Q: What brought you to the Chili Peppers ... What was it that kind of hooked you?
A: Well we were looking for a band with ... Well, first of all, a band with creative integrity, and the Red Hot Chili Peppers, a seminal act from the Southern California area for over 20 years, uh, you know, lead the way. You know, they are one of the most interesting and creative acts out there, still today.

I sort of agree. I like their music. I've been to their show. I've bought their CDs. However, when I think of Disneyland, I don't think Red Hot Chili Peppers. I think Give It Away. I think Rock out with your cock out. I think of Abbey Road wearing nothing but a sock up front. I think someone forgot to ask Walt Disney's cryogenically frozen head if he approved of this one. Somehow, I don't think he would have.

Lex TV 112

Here are another dozen amusing videos:

Pablo Francisco talks about piercings.

Some bullshit psychic makes an ass of herself.

The Family Man realizes his boy's thing is bigger than his thing.

A simple but funny prank on the garbageman.

But it's not a good joke to play on every garbageman.

[Ad] This ad is not really about sinking.

What would the world look like if you travel at the speed of sound.

PBS looks at the porn industry. (quasi SFW)

Girl fight on a digital camera's video card.

This dog cries like a little girl.

Of all the places to take a nap, this chick chooses way up high in a radio tower.

[Ad] You owe it to the geckos to have a good ceiling.

Asshat Retailer Might Shut Down After Insulting Military Customer

PreIn an unsurprising move, military supporters ordinary Americans have bombarded a Wisconsin-based web retailer with angry messages prompting the company to shut down its website today after fears arose for the safety of its employees and owners.

A quick exchange of e-mails between a U.S. soldier in Iraq and en employee of Bargain Suppliers of West Allis, Wisconsin, has caught the attention of people across the globe that could destroy the business overnight. It began when a soldier inquired about obtaining mattresses and shipping them to overseas to an APO (military) address. Sgt. Jason Hess wrote: Do you ship to APO addresses? I'm in the 1st Cavalry Division stationed in Iraq and we are trying to order some mats but we are looking for who ships to APO first. Instead of a simple, "no, thank you" the company responded like this:

SGT Hess, We do not ship to APO addresses, and even if we did, we would NEVER ship to Iraq. If you were sensible, you and your troops would pull out of Iraq. Bargain Suppliers Discount-Mats.com

Word of the January 16, 2007 exchange spread quickly, and the company's website had to be taken down Monday after it was pounded with thousands of e-mails, mostly angry, sometimes rude or worse. Snopes.com quickly verified and published the exchange on its myth-bustering website. The company admits the authenticity of the exchange, and company vice president Sajid Nasir said the employee the employee who sent it is being held accountable and will be dealt with but that the incendiary and threatening nature of some of the e-mails and voicemails left at the home of co-owner Faisal Khetani (a Muslim who lives with his parents) have troubled company executives and Mr. Khetani's family members. Khetani is the registered owner of the website:

Registrant:
Faisal Khetani
PO Box 270693
Milwaukee, Wisconsin 53227 United States

Registered through: Teknon Domains
Domain Name: DISCOUNT-MATS. COM
Created on: 23-Mar-05
Expires on: 23-Mar-08
Last Updated on: 03-Mar-06

Administrative Contact:
Khetani, Faisal sportsfitness@ gmail.com
3259 S.106th Street West Allis, Wisconsin 53227 United States
(414) 543-9634

Technical Contact:
Khetani, Faisal sportsfitness@ gmail.com
3259 S.106th Street West Allis, Wisconsin 53227 United States
(414) 543-9634

He apparently is some sort of health and fitness peddler. One media source claimed that someone by that same name is a government employee, but no one has been able to confirm whether the government employee is the same person.

Since it went down, curiousity seekers have been unable to check out the company's website except by using google cache. This is what the website looked like before. Here's what the website looked like by mid-afternoon today:

Discount-Mats.com is Experiencing Technical Difficulties...

If you are inquiring about your order, please contact us via phone or email.

Thank you for your understanding & patience.

Apologists for the company are arguing that the widespread criticism of the company and the person who wrote to the soldier is somehow a violation of their free speech rights. "This is a matter of free speech," said Julie Enslow, a white-haired hippie with Peace Action Wisconsin in Milwaukee. "It is totally irresponsible for radio stations and bloggers to attack a person for his personal political views." So, to paraphrase, this idiot's free speech rights are paramount, and the free speech rights of the rest of us, including me, in this blog post, are crap. I'm going to have to disagree and remind her that if she thinks we don't have the right to say anything we damn well please about this matter, she is also free to go fuck herself at any time.

Oh, and apparently, it's also a clear case of anti-Muslim backlash, according to pro-Islam groups, who seem to think that the only reason people are mad is because the company is owned by Muslims. Othman Atta, president of the Islamic Society of Milwaukee, quickly came to the defense of the worker. "Some people will look for any excuse to target people from the Middle East," he said. He forgets, of course, that most people are pissed off about the content even though the author remains anonymous, and many of the angry people have no idea who owns B.S., much less what his ethnic or religious background may be. Atta also disregards the fact that people are quite annoyed by the likes of Julie Enslow, too, even though she's a white haired paleface. But at least he recognized, unlike Ms. Enslow, that we have free speech rights, too. "In the United States, everyone one is free to speak their opinion." Of course, Atta was only discussing the free speech rights of the anonymous anti-soldier employee, but his comment was correctly stated in broad enough terms to cover all of us.

If you would like to express your own free speech rights, you can find the company at the same address listed for the website:

Bargain Suppliers
3259 S.106th Street
West Allis, WI 53227
[email protected]
(414) 736-8394.

Remember to be polite refrain from threatening any unlawful acts of violence.

Tuesday Travel Photo (No. 111)

This is Meteor Crater, Arizona, just about six miles south of I-40, about 35 miles east of Flagstaff. The photo was taken about half an hour before sunset in the dead of winter. It's something like 4,100 feet across, 500+ feet deep, surrounded by a rim that varies between 120 feet and 200 feet high.

Even the lowest elevation along the rim is more than a mile above sea level, so it gets cold there in winter. The white bits, of course, were snow. To my untrained eye, it resembled the crater at Diamond Head, on Oahu, except Diamond Head is shallower and gets a lot less snow.

Lane Kiffin Hired To Coach Raiders

I'm not sure whether this is good news or great news, but 31-year-old USC offensive coordinator Lane Kiffin has just been hired as the next head coach of the Oakland Raiders. I hated Kiffin's playcalling last season, which almost made me pine for the days of Hue Jackson, but his recruiting ability was said to be impressive, and he is still young, ambitious, learning and improving. Part of me was hoping that in 2008, he'd take his playcalling to a new level, and part of me was hoping he'd get a head coaching job somewhere like Minnesota.

I can understand why Kiffin would make the move. The Raiders can only improve under his coaching next season; the money will be great; and he'll never have to scratch his way up the coaching ladder again. Still, I wonder why Al Davis would pick such an unproven takent like Kiffin, even if his dad was a decent NFL coach. Kiffin will become the youngest NFL head coach of the modern era, and takes over a team that, last season, played nine players older than him. Good luck, Lane.

Steve Sarkisian, who turned down the Oakland job a few days ago, will take over playcalling for the Trojans in 2007. Unless, of course, Pete Carroll decides to replace the Big Tuna again.... I happen to think Bob Stoops and Houston Nutt would be more likely hires if Jerry Jones dips into the college ranks again. As for Carroll, if he wasn't interested in Miami or Arizona, I can't fathom why he would want to coach for Jerry Jones, who didn't even give Parcells a say in personnel moves like bringing in the toxic Terrell Owens as a free agent last season.

Look Who's Mad That His 12 Year Old Sex Toy Turned Out to Be 29

This news story out of Arizona has to be one of the strangest sex offender stories I've ever heard. It goes like this: Neil Havens Rodreick II, a 29-year-old convicted sex offender from Oklahoma, used makeup and a clean, close body shave to fool two Arizona men into thinking he was a 12-year-old boy. After moving in with them (I'm curious as to how he explained the lack of concerned guardians) and engaging in a sexual relationship with both men, they decided to try to enroll the "boy" in a local elementary school. The man pictured on the left, one Lonnie Stiffler, 61, of Chino Valley, Arizona, posed as his grandfather to get him into school under the name Casey Price. The ruse failed when school officials noticed the difference between the alleged age of the young master Price and his much older appearance. They called the sheriff, and Rodreick, Mr. Stiffler and the other roommate, Robert James Snow, 43, a sex offender who had failed to register with authorities, were all arrested along with a fourth man who had been a prison cellmate with Rodreick.

Here's the best worst part:

A spokeswoman for the Yavapai County Sheriff's Office informed the media that the older men "were very upset when the detectives told them they had been having a sexual relationship with a 29-year-old man and not a pre-teen boy." One might think that it would be welcome news to learn that you had dodged a few dozen counts of what would have been sexual battery on a minor, but not these guys. They were furious to learn that they were sodomizing a grown man instead of a little boy. How's that for a frightening set of values and standards?

The Windy OC

I don't know about global warming, but from where I sit, there seems to be an obvious case of global wind gusting. I am so sick of this dry, cold, windy, windy, windy weather. But it looks like there is a lot more where this came from. It's like we're living in Chicago, except we don't have an NFL team, much less one going to the Super Bowl.

Lex TV 111

Here are another dozen amusing videos:

Arsonist makes video of his work, aka People's Exhibit #1, Your Honor.

The Peanuts Gang celebrates MLK's birthday.

It's a Wonderful Internet, interactive video.

Classic music video (remember music videos?) Stacy's Mom.

The governator on Conan. Not the Barbarian, the late night guy.

[Ad] A shower gel ad you can only watch in Europe.

Funny sissy street fight.

See a girl with hands, but no arms.

Michael Savage goes off on TV and gets fired.

Watch this dude make an amazing escape.

Seriously, folks, who thought it would be a good idea to make Tara Reid count backwards at New Year's?

[Ad] The last reason on earth I would choose a sexy watch.

Vacation Kids Update

Have you ever wondered what happened to the Griswold kids from the National Lampoon's Vacation movies? Neither have I, but since Stuff Magazine went ahead and figured it out for us, I guess it's worth a look: Here's an update on the actresses who played Audrey. And here's one on the actors who played Rusty. The quick skinny: most are still acting. A couple dropped out of the business. One is dead (Dana Lynne Goetz aka Dana Hill from European Vacation).

The Pillars of Creation Are Gone

Scientists now believe that the famous Pillars of Creation, photographed by the Hubble telescope, were destroyed some 6,000 years ago, and that in another 1,000 years, we'll get to watch it happen. In related news, there might be intelligent creatures 1,974 light years away with powerful telescopes trained on the Earth, who are getting ready to watch the crucifixion of Christ. In fact, if we can find some planet with a really glossy mirrored surface that is in the right place, lined up just right and about 987 light years away, we might be able to watch it, too. So far, science has not yet found such a reflection in the universe, but there's no reason not to look.

Ryan Seacrest, I Apologize For Thinking You Suck

After two nights and four hours of watching Ryan Seacrest hosting American Idol, I have changed my view of him one hundred percent. Dude is the freaking master of keeping a straight face and letting clowns make fools of themselves. I could never in a million years develop the talent of taking seriously a contestant like Kenneth Briggs.

Simon was almost right when he said to Briggs: "You look like the creatures that live in the jungle with those massive eyes." He then got it wrong by guessing that they are "bush babies." Wrongo, Simon. You're thinking of these guys: the Quiznos Spongemonkeys.

Kenneth wasn't the biggest freak at singing, but he was the oddest looking contestant ever, and it was embarrassing to watch him take himself seriously. The odd looking female (the thin-faced fat-bodied chick, with red leg stockings and arm stockings, who was missing her front middle tooth) had a much better attitude, and when she failed to nail the audition, it was clear that she knew she'd missed it.

Seacrest, however, treated them all with respect, and acted as if he was as surprised and disappointed as each pathetic singer, from "the Hotness" to the lisping red "karoky" singing lumberjack, to the fat kid, to the nerd with each of his eyes pointing in a different direction, to the Taylor Hicks wannabe, to the braless half-dweeb/half-Courtney Love with the boobs flopping around the bottom of her blouse, Seacrest handled them brilliantly. Seacrest, you rock.

Snow in L.A. - The Ironic Part of Global Warming

It's snowing all over Los Angeles today. Okay, not exactly all over, but the west side got quite a bit, and there could be more tonight in a wider area. We've had three straight nights of frost destroying the citrus crops in California, on the heels of tiny bits of snow in the Inland Empire, and now they are using the mudslide equipment in Malibu to plow the snow. Global warming? Not in my backyard. Not tonight.

I'm Not One To Say I Told You So....

So I'll just shut up and give you the links:

12-28-2006: PEER issues a press release entitled: HOW OLD IS THE GRAND CANYON? PARK SERVICE WON’T SAY — Orders to Cater to Creationists Makes National Park Agnostic on Geology.

12-29-2006: The Huffington Post spreads the scandalous word.

1-10-2007: eSkeptic.com falls for it, too: Creationism in Our National Parks.

1-13-2007 Doonesbury weighs in, ready to believe.

1-14-2007: I call it a bunch of bullshit: National Park Service Defies Alleged Requirement To Conceal Grand Canyon's True Age.

1-16-2007: In the face of evidence that the Park Service actually tells visitors that the canyon is millions of years old, PEER backs off its original story.

1-17-2007: eSkeptic announces Grand Canyon story was a hoax. Fact Checking 101 How Skeptic magazine was Duped by an Environmental Activist Group.

Okay, so I said I told you so.

Lex TV 110

Here are another dozen amusing videos:

A video of a bunch of animals found on Google Earth.

This is a great video of icy Portland roads turning into bumper car battles.

Condom socks. My Hobbit-like feet are too hairy for this.

I had no friends dumb enough to fall for a trick like this: how to get $10 easy.

How to get free drinks with proposition bets.

[Ad] Sometimes, it's better to just waste the beer. (Besides, this brand is crap, mate.)

If at first you don't kill anyone with your stunt, try, try again.

We sometimes stumble on this creepy old lady giving sex tips on cable TV.

I forgot how fun Millionaire used to be when people went home with a donut.

Reno 911 addresses the scourge of two-dollar tug jobs.

Bike rider gets owned by the ground in front of these steps.

[Ad] If only meeting people could be this easy. We'd have the dog's life

Tuesday Travel Photo (No. 110)

This is another picture taken from Yavapai Point, but there's no scenery of the Grand Canyon here. This was far more interesting, if you asked my daughter. Our first and only really good wildlife sighting at the Grand Canyon was a herd of about eight elk, grazing on shrubs and young trees along the South Rim. Here's the one that came closest:

It looks like I'm close enough to get hoofed, but I wasn't. I used a pretty strong lens on this one.

Odds Posted For 2007 Season BCS Championship

5501 Alabama +4000
5502 Auburn +3000
5503 Arizona +10000
5504 Arizona State +10000
5505 Arkansas +2500
5506 California +2500
5507 Clemson +8000
5508 Colorado +15000
5509 Florida +1000
5510 Florida State +2500
5511 Georgia +3000
5512 Georgia Tech +25000
5513 Iowa +7500
5514 Louisville +2500
5515 LSU +1200
5516 Miami Florida +5000
5517 Michigan +800
5518 Michigan State +15000
5519 NC State +15000
5520 Nebraska +3500
5521 Notre Dame +4000
5522 Ohio State +3000
5523 Oklahoma +1500
5524 Oregon +5000
5525 Penn State +2000
5526 Rutgers +2500
5527 Southern Cal +300
5528 Tennessee +2500
5529 Texas +1000
5530 Texas A and M +5000
5531 UCLA +5000
5532 Virginia +25000
5533 Virgina Tech +2500
5534 West Virginia +1200
5535 Wisconsin +4000
5536 Field +1500

National Park Service Defies Alleged Requirement To Conceal Grand Canyon's True Age

This story amused me. According to The Huffington Post:

Due to pressure from Bush Administration officials, the National Park Service is not permitted to give an official age for the Grand Canyon. Additionally, a book claiming the Grand Canyon was created by Noah's flood is for sale at the National Park's bookstore.

The problem I have with this story is that it broke on December 29, 2006. Coincidentally, I woke up inside the Grand Canyon National Park on December 29, 2006. And I took my wife and daughters to the park visitor's center on December 29, 2006. The visitor's center must not have gotten the memo, because the displays, the handouts and the rangers all told us the same thing: the canyon is about five to six million years old.

If I was an Old Testament literalist/creationist, that would have made me mad, or so I'd imagine.

Tigger v. The Wussiest Little Nancy Boy At Disney World

Here is the news story about how a kid supposedly got "attacked" by Tigger at Disney World.

With all due respect to the normal moms and dads everywhere, big deal. The kid was taken to the hospital? Why? Did he break his ankle on the way out? Because that tiny tap was nothing. God help this little puss if he ever gets in a fight at school; and if his school is anything like mine was, the attention is a sure bang guarantee that he's going to get his ass beat up twice a week until the other kids get bored with it. “Disney’s supposed to be a safe place,” said the father. True, but it's suposed to be safe for the hardworking kids in that stuffy costume who are entitled to earn a living without some cock-smiley brat pulling on the back of their suits.

Or, for a sharper point of view, check this:

Oh, what I wouldn't give to be on the inevitable jury....

USC v. UCLA

Just as I was about to get excited about the prospect of USC upsetting the 4th-ranked Bruins in hoops tomorrow, Brendan Loy jumps in as a buzzkill and points out that two of USC's top 25 upsets turned out to be duds.

Washington is 1-4 in the Pac-10 after losing to Stanford Thursday. ... And how about Wichita State, once a Top 10 team and the darling of the mid-majors after wins at LSU and Syracuse, now 1-4 in the Missouri Valley and losers of six out of their last seven games overall, capping the losing streak off with a loss to Indiana State, usually an MVC doormat.

So, maybe my view of the Trojan basketball team (ranked 33rd in the country) as a major up-and-coming force in the Pac 10 is a bit premature. I'll have a better idea of it by the time I go to sleep Saturday.

How Not To Get a Job in Dubai

Have you ever wanted to work in Dubai? I haven't, but some guy named Amir Saffar apparently did, and he mad a bit of an ass of himself trying to score a web designer position there at a company called North 55. If the exchange is real, this poor bastard might need to do a name change before his next job interview. Since it first hit the blogosphere a few weeks ago, some readers have claimed that the original post was a viral email/blog fake. The original poster responded with this explanation of the authenticity of the exchange. There are about 15,000 google hits about this guy now, but just two in the "news" category. Frankly, I don't care how authentic it is. It amused me. And now, on with the show....

———————————————————-

From: Amir Saffar
Sent: 02 December 2006 01:22
To: Amir Saffar
Subject: multimediator/web designer position
Amir Saffar

To Whom It May Concern:
I am a web developer/designer with experience in designing corporate, commercial, retail, and business web systems. With more than 6 years experience designing Internet/multimedia systems professionally in a production environment, I could be a valuable asset to your web design and multimedia team.
Managing projects, task delegation, and client relations have been necessary skills at my previous employment positions. These have always been tasks that I excel at and enjoy.
My experience in web site consultation critiquing usability, functionality, aesthetics, and search engine placement can help clients with their existing web content by introducing them to innovative and cost-effective solutions.

My enthusiasm, creativity, communication skills and ability to work without supervision are my strong points. I have extensive design experience using Flash, Dreamweaver, HTML, CSS, VB, C#, SQL, Photoshop, Illustrator, QuarkXPress, 3dsMax, and other programs. I would be able to create a dynamic company presence for you on the Internet.

I am currently on vacation for two months in the region. Since I have a Canadian passport, traveling to the UAE would not be an issue for me at all. I also have to mention that since I have lived in a multicultural country and because of my background, I have been trained to work with people who have different cultures and backgrounds. Therefore I hope my experience in this field could be a valuable asset to your company.
I would welcome an opportunity to discuss my qualifications and experience in greater detail. I am available for an interview at your convenience.

——————————————–

Mike Platts wrote:
Hi Amir
Thanks for sending us your CV - we’d certainly be interested in speaking with you. Just to clarify, are you planning to visit Dubai during your vacation? If not, perhaps we can arrange to speak over the phone.
Regards,
Mike Platts
Creative Partner, North55 Dubai

——————————————–

From: Amir Saffar
Sent: 11 December 2006 00:18
To: Mike Platts
Subject: RE: hi again
Hi again,
I guess people work for free in Dubai. Am I correct!??

take care
Amir

——————————————–

Mike Platts wrote:

Sorry, you’ve completely lost me there…how did I imply that people ‘work for free’ in Dubai?
Mike.

——————————————–

From: Amir Saffar
To: Mike Platts
Sent: Friday, December 15, 2006 9:11 PM
Subject: RE: hi again

it’s very simple Mike. You are interested in my profile and i wanted to know how much you were able to pay. no response means: you either can’t pay that much,
or you only hire indians and pakistanis who don’t ask for a good salary.
but dude, i am neither indian or paki and i have never worked for less than
2000 usd/month. You got it now!?

Amir

——————————————–

Mike Platts wrote:

Jesus, that’s some chip you’ve got on your shoulder there pal. Before the email I received on 11th December, I’d only gotten one from you - the first, which included your CV. As far as I can see, it didn’t mention money. If you sent another after that, then sorry, but I didn’t get it, which is why I didn’t reply.
Anyway, it’s all worked out well. I wouldn’t want a bigotted arsehole like you working with us, and I’m sure that the Indians and Pakis who work at North55 - most of whom earn more than US$2,000 a month, some by a factor of three - are glad that they won’t have to put up with your small-minded bullshit either. The Brits, South Africans and Canadians will probably be pretty cock-a-hoop too.
Best of luck finding a job in Dubai - I’m sure you’ll get exactly the kind of position you deserve.
Cheers,
Mike

——————————————–

From: Amir Saffar
To: Mike Platts
Sent: Saturday, December 16, 2006 10:39 PM
Subject: got it?

i’m sending this e-mail twice. i wanna make sure you get it this time!!

2000 USD/month is a joke bro. I got paid that much when I graduated from College/without any exp.
I’m pretty sure most of you guys work at coffee shops when you finish your work at the studio.
What doesn’t make sense to me is, why would a guy from N America or Europe want to work for that amount. Perhaps you’ve had a low paid job back home and you are satisfied with 2000 USD! weren’t you a cleaner/or a security guard…Mike!?

——————————————–

From: Mike Platts
To: Amir Saffar
Sent: Sunday, December 17, 2006 1:41 AM
Subject: Fw: got it?
You really are an irritating little troll aren’t you? You can barely write English, and you seem to have a problem reading it too. So I’ll break it down for you: not. wanted. here.
Now fuck off.
All the best,
Mike.
PS - I’ve taking the liberty of copying some of my colleagues in the industry here, just in case they too should have the misfortune of hearing from you. I’m sure they’d be kind enough to forward it on to their pals, too, and with any luck you’ll be back fucking moose in time for Christmas. (Oh, and by the way, if you’re such hot shit, why the reluctance to include a link to any of your work in your CV? So you’ve got six years’ experience - big deal. You don’t seem to have been able to hold down a job for too long - or were they short-term cleaner/security guard contracts?)

———————————————–

From: Amir Saffar
To: Mike Platts
Sent: Sunday, December 17, 2006 11:06 AM
Subject: Re:

by the way,
Mike you were either a
1. Security Guard
2. Cleaner
3. On Welfare
4. had a criminal background, so you couldn’t get a job back home
5. a bad designer who never worked for a real company. One of those guys who is a pain in the ass in the production team.

who knows, maybe one day you’ll be working for people like me if you ever decide to return to Europe or N America. * I guess would lose the job within 3 months.

good luck Mike.

———————————————————-

[Mike] wrote:

Congratulations - you’re famous:
http://www.chrisdiclerico.com/2006/12/17/how-not-to-get-a-job/
http://www.flipblogspot.com/2006/12/17/amir-saffar-and-north55

Much Love,

Mike.

———————————————-

From Amir Saffar:

Don’t you really have anything else to do, other than forwording useless e-mails to other people and writting a blog. Dude, if you work at a pro company, you don’t even have time to drink coffee. you are not a pro!! that’s it. and your e-mails are going to the garbage bin from now.

take care

USC Hockey - Mario Danelo Night

From the Thundering Herd, my favorite group of USC fans. If they had cards, we'd be card-carrying members. As it is, we just wear the shirt....

USC HOCKEY - MARIO DANELO NIGHT

The USC Ice Hockey team needs our support this Saturday night. Please come on down to Anaheim Ice, on the corner of Harbor and Lincoln, to join the Thundering Herd to root on the icemen of USC vs the Washington Huskies.

USC Ice hockey has named the game Mario Danelo Night, and they will be having a collection box at the front desk of Anaheim Ice. All donations will be going to the Mario Danelo Scholarship fund for walk-on athletes. ... So please come on down to Anaheim on Saturday, have some pizza, watch some great hockey and help out a fantastic cause for a little guy with a great big heart, Mario Danelo!

If you are a member of the Herd and planning on attending, let the Herd know by email because there will be a pizza tailgater before the game. Fight On, and try to make it down to Orange County on Saturday night.

Nobody Bends 'Em Over Like Beckham

David Beckham has decided to swap his life of stardom as a European footballer for a life of anonymity as a Los Angeles soccer player. Why would he do such a thing? Two theories come to mind: First, unlike his current team, the Los Angeles Galaxy won a championship in America, which is quite a novelty. Actually, I'm not completely sure they did, but there was this one time that the sportscasters here in SoCal said something about the Galaxy being champions, so I think maybe they did win one. In fact, I think I heard them say it more than once, so maybe they have two. Second, he's getting a reported $250 million to do it for five years. Only in America can a thirty-something, washed-up soccer player, who didn't even start in half of his team's games this season, get a $250 million contract.

How he did that is a mystery to me. Maybe he slipped Galaxy officials some roofies. Maybe he has pictures of them buggering alter boys with L.A. area priests. But however this was arranged, I can't fault him for doing it. Heck, even I would stoop to play professional soccer in L.A. for that kind of money.

Do You Know This Tubeman?

Supposedly ... German tourist Melanie Speth spotted this dude on the Tube while visiting London and has launched a worldwide e-mail campaign to find him. Supposedly ... she too his photo with her mobile phone (a rather bold move if you ask me) but was too shy to approach him. So ... being either (i) ugly (hard to tell from her photo in the news story), or (ii) a person who fears embarrassment so much that she won't say hello to a stranger, she didn't get his name or number. Instead, supposedly ... she chooses to humiliate herself by admitted all this to the entire planet and begging them to make up for her lack of courage by identifying the man so she can then know exactly who it is that she is afraid to speak to out of, you know, shyness.

The e-mail reads:

Now I haven't neither his name, nor his e-mail address, because I don't had the trust to speak to him! I have only this one picture! And now I am back in Germany and I can't forget him! That's why I have this crazy idea! ... I hope you send this to as much as possible that I find him! And maybe to mingle with him, if he wants this!' If you know the man, or are him, call Metro on 020 7651 5242.

The details: She was on the Tube from Tower Hill to Westminster at 5.30pm on November 3, 2006. He got off at Embankment.

The likelihood: this is bullshit. I suspect one of these three scenarios: (i) this young woman is getting punked by her friends or her hated rival; (ii) this young man is getting punked by his friends; or (iii) this dude wants free publicity and wants to become an English version of LonelyGirl15. Either way, it's working.

I Say, Chap, I Seem to Be Lacking Any Accent At Tall.

It's so true. I do not speak with much of an accent at all, EXCEPT that I did spend some formative years blabbering on in a mix of SoCal surfer and Valley Dude talk, even though I lived nowhere near the San Fernando Valley. As a result, I periodically slip into a slight southern drawl, mostly when I drink and get a bit inattentive to my speech. Here is the result of my American accent test:

What American accent do you have? Your Result: The West Your accent is the lowest common denominator of American speech. Unless you're a SoCal surfer, no one thinks you have an accent. And really, you may not even be from the West at all, you could easily be from Florida or one of those big Southern cities like Dallas or Atlanta.
The Midland
Boston
North Central
The Inland North
Philadelphia
The South
The Northeast
What American accent do you have? Quiz Created on GoToQuiz

Hat tip: Cranky Greg, who claims to have the same lack of an accent, but probably has a drawl like a drunken lex.

Lex TV 109

Here are another dozen amusing videos:

The climax of the Borat movie. Allegedly, this caused the Pam/Kid Rock marriage to break.

This weightlifter's bad break is as gross as Theismann's.

The Best of George W. Bush 2006.

Three minutes of dumbasses getting hurt.

Famous 1990 interview with MP Bill Galbraith's wife. From inside a basket, she says he's not a racist.

[Ad] Intel's Core 2 Duo ad: because one ugly chick and one leprechaun dude are not enough?

If you have a full hour to kill, here's a documentary about soccer hooligans.

Tony Blair asks, via video edit, "Should I Stay or Should I Go?"

A vicious mugging caught on security camera.

When towing a car that is not running, remember that steering wheels can lock into a turn.

Unnecessary Censorship, the Year in Review.

[Ad] This shark cage insurance ad is funny until you really think about it. Insurance does you no good whatsoever if you are getting pulled to the bottom of the ocean. Heck, why would I want to waste money on insurance?

Tuesday Travel Photo (No. 109)

I read somewhere that sunrise in the Grand Canyon was almost a spiritual event. So I hauled my weary drive-worn butt out of bed my second morning in the Grand Canyon and braved temperatures of nine degrees to watch this, as viewed from Yavapai Point:

The family decided to accompany me at the last minute, and they almost made me late to catch the sunrise. Lucky me. As it was, the show didn't really get interesting until the sun's rays started sliding down the canyon walls opposite us. Seeing the actual disc popping up from the horizon was irrelevant. It was all about watching the shadows disappear from the top of the canyon down. Had I arrived 20 minutes before sunrise, as planned, I'd have just frozen by ears off for 20 minutes waiting to see something.

Ohio State Fails to Defend Its Title Belt

Modeled after the world of boxing, last year, I decided to recognize as one legitimate NCAA football champion, the team that defeated the previous champion. At the time, USC was the consensus "team of the century", so we began with USC as the defending champ.

This football championship title belt was then captured by the Texas Longhorns on January 4, 2006, by virtue of their victory over the previous undisputed national champions, the USC Trojans. Texas successfully defending its title just once, by beating North Texas 56-7 on September 2, 2006. The following week, Ohio State defeated the Longhorns and won the title belt with a 24-7 win.

Ohio State defended their title ten times: Sep 16 Cincinnati 37-7, Sep 23 Penn State 28-6, Sep 30 at Iowa 38-17, Oct 7 Bowling Green 35-7, Oct 14 at Michigan State 38-7, Oct 21 Indiana 44-3, Oct 28 Minnesota 44-0, Nov 4 at Illinois 17-10, Nov 11 at Northwestern 54-10, and Nov 18 Michigan 42-39. Tonight, Florida clobbered the Buckeyes 41-14, and earned the title belt. For the third straight year, the boxing belt method produced the same champion as the BCS championship game method.

Florida will defend its title in 2007 as follows: 9-1 UCF, 9-8 Troy, 9-15 Tennessee, 9-22 @ Mississippi, 9-29 Auburn, 10-6 @ Louisiana State, 10-20 @ Kentucky, 10-27 Georgia @Jacksonville, 11-3 Vanderbilt, 11-10 @ South Carolina, 11-17 Florida Atlantic, and 11-24 Florida State. If I had to guess now, I'd say LSU will be the next champion.

Pete Carroll Interviews With Miami?

According to ProFootballTalk.com:

The indispensable web site flightaware.com reveals that Wayne Huizenga's jet is on its way to Jacksonville as of this posting. On Sunday, we tracked the jet to Costa Rica. It has since been confirmed that Huizenga met there with USC coach Pete Carroll.

I hope it was a quick one.

TonyHomo.com

This blog is funny. TonyHomo.com, the alleged blog of Drew Benchsore Bledsoe.

Icing the Holder

Last night, as I readied to take my wife out to dinner and a bookstore (dinner and a movie is so cliche and the bookstore has a good travel section), I caught the tail end of that crazy Seattle-Dallas game. I walked in to grandma's house and said good night to the kids just in time to see Dallas convert what looked like the game-sealing first and goal with under two minutes, trailing by just a point.

When the replay showed that Dallas had failed to convert the first down at the one yard line, Dallas lined up for the go-ahead field goal. A timeout is called. It is Seattle's final timeout. With 1:19 to go. The camera glanced at Mike Holmgren, who looked like a blanketed walrus on the sideline, and I muttered to myself that he must be the dumbest asshat among all NFL coaches, now that Art Shell got whacked by Oakland. He just wasted his team's final timeout trying to ice the kicker. "That timeout might have come in handy with his team is driving down toward the 30, trying to set up the winning field goal, but it's gone now."

Then the Cowboys snapped the ball and it became apparent that Holmgren wasn't icing the kicker. He was icing the holder! Sure enough, holder Tony Romo bobbled the snap, then scrambled and almost got the first down, but choked and tucked the ball back after initially trying to stretch it out for what would have been a certain first down. Instead, Seattle held on to win 21-20.

That was the worst playoff choke job since ... I can't think of a worse one. There may have been worse plays in NFL playoff history, but none comes immediately to mind. I think it is safe to jump off the Romo bandwagon now.

USC Kicker Found Dead Near Ocean

USC's starting kicker, Mario Danelo, was found dead Saturday in San Pedro at the bottom of White Point Cliff. His body was found about 120 feet down the cliff near the Point Fermin lighthouse. Danelo's death was the second off-season death in four years for Trojan football players. Incoming freshman linebacker Drean Rucker, a high school All-American, drowned in the ocean off Huntington Beach in July 2003. In December 2005, USC lost former players Mike Bastianelli and Darrell Russell, both 29, in a single car accident.

Scott Wolf is calling the death an "apparent suicide" but makes no mention of why suicide is apparent. I hope the death is found to be of natural causes, or at least accidental. If it was a suicide, it shouldn't be because of on the field performance. He had an outstanding season.

[Update: After some sharp criticism, Wolf revised his post to omit any reference to any apparent suicide.]

[Update: Oddly enough, Danelo was mentioned in Letterman's Top Ten list the day before he died. The link has been taken down, but the list was "Top Ten Signs You're Watching Too Much College Football" and the number one answer was: "In bed, your wife says, 'Get a Trojan' -- you come back with USC Kicker Mario Danelo.'' You can read the whole list, as cached by Google, here.]

Alabama v USC

With Nick Saban's return to college football all over the news, it reminded me that the Rose Bowl win drew USC to within one bowl victory of Alabama's record of 30. The current state of the Alabama program, even with a new carpetbagger coach running things, suggests that USC might hold that record within a couple of years. Then again, it's not as hard to win -- or lose -- a bowl anymore.

Examples: Troy, TCU, South Florida, San Jose State, Utah, Central Michigan, Rutgers and Kentucky all won bowls this season. So did 6-6 Florida State and Miami. Nebraska, Notre Dame, Oklahoma, Georgia, Arkansas, Tennessee, Virginia Tech and Clemson all lost their bowls. So will either Florida or Ohio State.

It's all about matchups. The best teams get the toughest bowl draws. For USC to add a win, it had to play the team most viewers thought to be the second-best team in the nation. Lesser teams might get a better chance to add a bowl win to their school's history. South Carolina only needed to get past Houston. Alabama could have extended its lead by beating 6-6 Oklahoma State, which was tied for last place in the Big XII South Division.

Meanwhile, Notre Dame set a new record for futility in bowl games by dropping their ninth straight bowl game. The Irish curse is that everyone is so enamored with the program that bowl committees invite the Irish to games in which they really have no business playing based on talent and performance. Should Notre Dame have played in a BCS bowl this year? Not a chance. And if they had dropped into a bowl more suitable for their 2006 team, they might have won one. Instead....

Lex TV 108

Here are another dozen amusing videos:

Highlights of the final minutes of the 2007 Fiesta Bowl.

If you just want to see the two-point conversion, this is a better option.

New Year's Day helmet stickers. Granny Holtz gives one to USC's Dwayne Jarrett.

USC cheerleader flashes her wedgie.

Office Space World of Warcraft

[Ad] If you drive a V.W., you will get T-boned. But you'll live.

Saddam's last moments, brought to you via illegal cell phone video.

Awesome jumping great white shark video.

Another awesome jumping great white shark video.

Barney kills Fred and leaves no witnesses.

The funniest standup routine ever: Eddie Murphy's Delirious (part 1/7, see side links for the others)

[Ad] Here's another V.W. T-bone ad. Once again, the black guy in the racially mixed group bears the brunt of the accident. Coincidence? Maybe not. In this one, the T-bone comes from the white chick's side.

December Demiblog Links

Here were the Demi-Blog links for December:

Scary Santas

Airline Ban Bibles, So As Not To Offend Potential Hijackers

Behold! The Restaurant Where You Decide What, or Whether, To Pay.

Inmate A Sneaks One Past a Turd. Inmate B Beats the Turd Out of Him

"Miss Nevada Stripped of Title." The Last Two Words Were a Bit Superfluous, We Know.

James Brown Dies Christmas Morning.

Ay! I Feel Good. (Not!)

Photos Prove Katie Ries To Be a Bisexual Exhibitionist. And That Makes Her a Poor Choice For Miss Nevada USA 2007, How Again?

USC Hoops > #8 Wichita State Hoops

Accused Teen Wants To Keep That Bullet in His Head

Not News: Man-Child Love Advocate Found in Possession of Kiddie Porn

Minor Has Sex With Minor and Gets 10 Years In Prison

Second-Life: You Can Make a Million in Real Money, But Your Media Time Will Be Interrupted by Flying Penises

God Forgives. DAs Do Not. Former Priest Michael Baker in Court To Face More Pedo Charges.

GoldmanSachs Paying Out $622,000 AVERAGE Bonuses

Gift Cards, The Gift That Keeps On Not Giving

Man Does Not View Kiddie Porn. No, See, It's His Teenaged Multiple Personality, Who Likes To Look at Kids His Own Age

Time Magazine's Person of the Year Is a Collection of Drunken Fat People Who Don't Vote

Conceived For Parts Only: Babies Murdered to Order

What Do Stiffler's Pale Ale and Your Kid's School's Salad Dressing Have In Common?

IRS outlines new rules on deductions - Yahoo! News

Somehow, K-Fed Taking His Kids To Disneyland Is Now News.

The Best Frivolous Lawsuit Ever.

Should Borat Win an Oscar? Jagshemesh.

Lesbian Twin Teachers Busted For Student Sex. You Can Tell Which Is Which Because One Has a Forehead and One Has a Fivehead

Nebraska on $150,000 a Year? Impossible.

Dollar Tree Employee Locks Up and Rapes 4 Year Old Customer

No, Virginia, There Is No Santa. Jabba the Hutt, However, Is Very Real

Robber's Finger Gun Plot Foiled as He Sticks His Thumb Out of the Pocket

World of Warcraft: A View From the Top by a Temporary Gamer Geek

In Case You Forgot, the Baby Jesus Was Not a Little White Guy

Mariah Carey Sues Porn Star Mary Carey for Trademark Violation, Claiming No Other "Actress" Can Whore Around With the Name Carey

The Condemned Is Apparently So Wicked, Florida Decided to Execute Him Twice

Dinner With the Governor of Louisiana. I'd Buy That For a Dollar, Since It Seems to be the Going Rate

Before We Hunt For This Buried Treasure, We Need To Give a $100,000 Curse Offering, Ok?

Iran President: There Was No Holocaust. Yet. But He's Working On It.

PSA: You Can't Take The Heisman Trophy on an Airplane, Because, You Know, What If The Terrorists Got Their Hands on One?

World's Oldest Person Dies. Again.

If You Move to a Place Named Penistone, You Shouldn't Be Surprised by a Phallic Christmas Tree, But People Are.

PSA: If You Get Dragged Under By a Great White Shark, Try To Hold Onto Your Board. It Could Save Your Life. And Maybe Even Your Board.

Bermudans get Tidal Wave Panic Fever As Large Surf Pounds The Outer Reefs

Muslim Boy Pisses on Bible and Gets Expelled. Father Blames School For Failing to Control The Little Shit.

PSA: If Your Truck Driving School's Students Aren't Interested in Learning How To Back Up, They Might Be Terrorists.

La Migra To Determine Whether Baby Popped Out While The Plane Was Over U.S. Soil

Another Self-Loathing Gay Colorado Preacher Falls Out of the Closet

Teacher: Kids, There Is No Santa. Administration: Teacher, There Is No Job Left Here For You.

Did the Beating Death of Jeffrey Dahmer Deny Christianity Its Next Great Leader?

Nicole Richie Arrested For DUI. Witnesses Saw Her Drink a Third of a Glass of Wine, Which Would Be No Big Deal For Anybody Over 35 Pounds, But...

Idiot #1: "Does Anyone Here Have a Problem With Me Bringing a Live Cougar to a 4-Year-Old's Party?" All The Other Idiots: "Uh, No, What Could Go Wrong?"

Black Man Crosses Freeway at 1:00 a.m. in Black Sweats, Black Shoes, Black Hat. Amazingly, The Drivers Who Ran Him Over Never Saw Him.

Coming Soon to a Mall Near You: Islamic Terrorists With Grenades

Survey Finds That Indian Men Have Little Boy Penises

News, But Not New: Cops Beating The Crap Out of Latino and White Kids. New: People Care Because It's Available On Video.

Christians Not So Happy About Religious Flyers Going Home With Schoolkids, Now That The Pagans Are Doing It, Too.

Cop Tasers Cop. The Pig Had It Coming.

In England, You Can Be Fined £125 For Eating Your Big Mac Too Slowly

James Kim Found Dead in the Snow

Thirteen Year Old Sex Crime Victim Accused of Sex Crime. Her Victim/Attacker Was 12.

Nazi Death Camp Getting a Makeover

40% of World's Wealth Owned by Top 1% of Population. To Be in the Club, You Need $500,000 in Assets.

Shop Owner Welcomes New Muslim Overlords By Holding Weekly Pig Races

Iran President Writes to American People. Did You Get Your Copy?

Chester Claims Moral Superiority Because He Only Molests Girls Older Than Seven

Don't Worry About Europe Becoming "Eurabia." The Ethnic Cleansers Will Eventually Get The Job Done.

That World of Warcraft Player Who Just Kicked Your Ass? She Might Be a Middle-Aged College Professor.

Is IRS Taxation of Virtual Assets Inevitable?

So, This One Time, At Moon Camp....

Iran to Its People: "You Can't Handle the Truth"

Reggie Bush Scores Four TDs Against 49ers. A Guy Like That Might Have Been Useful Against UCLA...

Act of God Strands Westboro Baptist "God Hates Fags" Protesters

Michigan Bill Would Make It a Crime To Break Up Your Pregnant Girlfriend

If Your Teacher Is Naked And Smashing His Laptop With a Hammer, You Can Make a Quick Buck By Betting a Classmate He Has Kiddie Porn

Can Cell Phone Ringtones Can Kill You?

People Freaking Out Over Congressman Taking Oath on Quran. Solution? Don't Vote For The Muslim Next Time

Life Imitates "The Notebook"

The Ultimate Video Game. Like GTA, But Jesus Is Your Gangsta Leader

Want People To Make a Movie About You? Just Convince a Horse To Butt Rape You To Death, and You're In.

Abortion Drug Can Prevent Breast Cancer. But First, Ask Your Pastor. He Might Tell You Jesus Wants You To Get Breast Cancer

You Thought Your Guacamole Had Avocado in it? How Cute.

If You've Been Educating Females, The Taliban Would Lke to Speak to You. And Disembowel You. And Rip Your Arms and Legs Off and Post Your Body Parts As a Warning To Other Infidels.

Tuesday Travel Photo (No. 108)

This was my end of the year vacation. Just a few days at the South Rim of the Grand Canyon. After the accountant came in Wednesday and told us we were well positioned for year-end, I knew I could afford a couple of days off. So, at the very spur-of-the-moment, I woke up Thursday and checked the weather in northern Arizona. Lows in the single digits. Highs in the 30s. Snow flurries. Yes, there would be cancellations. So I called the park and scored a room with a couple of queen beds for that night and Friday. And we were off. This is the first view we got of the Grand Canyon:

The final travel tally for 2006:
January: home
February: home
March: home
April: Northern England, Paris, London
May: home
June: Disneyland Hotel
July: Yellowstone Park, Grand Californian Hotel
August: Orlando
September: Tucson (University of Arizona), Tombstone
October: home
November: home
December: Grand Canyon, Meteor Crater.

It was a very good year.

Rose Bowl Notes on a Program

Okay, actually, it was a Treo. Here are my cleaned up notes from the Granddaddy of Them All:

To our mild surprise, leaving fairly early for the game gets you to the game really early. We left Irvine at 9 a.m., and we were parked by 10 a.m. Had we left at 10 a.m., we'd have parked around 12:30 or 1:00 p.m.

That left a lot of time to kill, so we noted our spot right near the #7 balloon in the golf course and went to buy souvenirs, with time to bring them back to the car.

There were lots of tickets walking around, looking for new owners. A few delusional boys were asking face value for their tickets, but even good yard-line seats weren't commanding face value.

Called my dad. Called my brother-in-law (who is coming). Called a couple of friends. Talked about ticket prices, game predictions and recruiting. Got the scores of games in progress.

Since the Rose Bowl joined the BCS in 2002, Michigan is the only Big Ten school to play in it.

The 2004, 2005, 2006 and 2007 Rose Bowls have featured only three teams: USC, Michigan and Texas.

Michigan has lost three bowl games in a row.

USC has lost two games in a row on this field.

Juniors coming out? All the Michigan guys say they will be back. All the USC guys, except Jarrett, say the same.

Will the winner of this game be preseason #1? Florida might have something to add to that discussion, especially if they beat Ohio State.

USC OL Duece Lutui stayed for his senior season last year, went in the second round to Arizona and started nine games as a rookie. Fred Matua came out early, went in the 7th round to Detroit, which cut him. He spent the rest of the 2006 season on the Tennessee scout team and then the Cleveland bench, and played in zero games. Even Winston Justice, who went in the 2nd round as the 39th pick overall, did not play a down all season. The Eagles de-activated him in December.

USC has played its 4th and 5th string fullbacks all season. Think a first, second or even third string blocking fullback would have been nice all season? A difference maker, even? Those national title teams had few injuries. This year's team was not so lucky.

The OC Register has predicted that a batted down pass will end USC's chances for a comeback, leading to a 28-20 Michigan victory. That's too easy a prediction. Wrong, too, I hope.

An article in the Register discussed how Dwayne Jarrett called Troy Smith and Ted Ginn, Jr. to talk about how to beat Michigans corners. I'll go out on a limb and say that the Trojans chances rest heavily on the performance of Jarrett.

Leon Hall got bullied by Mike Williams as a freshman. Let's see how he does against DJ.

USC has played in 30 Rose Bowl games, going 21-9, while Michigan has played in 19, going 8-11. No other teams have played in as many.

USC is in an unprecedented fifth straight BCS bowl. That is also second-most in total BCS game appearances:  Florida State leads with six. At five games, USC is tied with Oklahoma and the Ohio State University.

In those five BCS bowls, USC played against #3 Iowa, #4 Michigan, #2 Oklahoma, #2 Texas and #3 Michigan. Tough competition. So far, we're a respectable 3-1.

Nobody is reporting who has won the most BCS bowl games, but if the Trojans win today, that has to be at least a tie for the most, since Florida State lost their last three BCS bowls, Oklahoma lost its last two, and tOSU lost a Sugar Bowl a few years ago, and no other team has played in more than four.

The Wolverines won the first ever Rose Bowl Game, beating Stanford 49-0 on January 1, 1902.

USC won the first Rose Bowl played at the Rose Bowl stadium, defeating Pitt 14-3 in 1923.

This will be the 8th time USC faces Michigan in the Rose Bowl. The Trojans have a 5-2 record against the Wolverines.

USC is the "visiting" team in the Rose Bowl and will be on the east sideline, facing the sun.

Okay, so much for reading, watching TV and listening to the radio, it's 12:30 and the gates are open. If only I could get my telephoto lens into the gate, I'll be a happy camper.

It's in!

They have great souvenir cups, too. Tall ones for sodas and small ones for beers. I'll drink a couple of beers for the cups, although I could also scrounge some off the benches at the end of the game, I'm sure.

Favorite sign so far: Another Bowl Controversy.

We stopped and talked to the guy with that sign. A good football fan. In general, most Michigan fans are quality. More like Notre Dame fans than, say, UCLA fans.

Favorite topic during our interactions: which school's fans are the biggest asshats? Consensus, from bad to worst: Arizona State, UCLA, Cal, Ohio State.

It's time for the coin toss, traditionally done by the Grand Marshal of the Tournament of Roses Parade. This year, it is George Lucas, a fine Trojan.

USC won the toss and deferred, so we will kick off to begin the game for the 13th time in 13 games this year. That's the oddest streak the Trojans have running.

No card tricks this year.

I love the Michigan fight song. Why? It's my high school's fight song, too.

Hail to the victors valiant. Hail to the conquering heroes. Hail! Hail! To St. Paul High! Champions of the World!

My brother-in-law is across the stadium on the north side. He's a Michigan fan, and he roots for the Trojans against anyone other than the Wolverines. So he's sitting in the maize-colored section. He calls me up and I am able to spot him. I wonder how good this picture will turn out with the telephoto lens.

The flag is at half-staff in honor of Gerald Ford, a fine Wolverine. His jersey number (48) was the last Michigan number retired. Michigan players have patches that have 48 and "BO" on them.

I wondered a bit whether UM played over their heads against the Buckeyes, trying to win one for Bo. I don't think Gerald Ford will have the same effect.

There was a moment of silence for Ford, but near the end of it, two jackasses somewhere to the north of us yelled out some random crap. Everyone else stayed quiet for the duration. Once the PA announcer thanked us, we booed. Not Ford. Those two jackasses.

The Michigan band played one of the fastest Star-Spangled Banners I've ever heard. Four F-16s did a flyover near the end. Usually, the planes buzz the stadium right after the band stops. This time, they passed over during the song, albeit toward the end. Were we a few seconds behind schedule, Mr. Bandleader?

Dumb but daring: some Michigan fan has a sign asking AP voters to vote Michigan #1. Sorry, but win, lose or draw, Michigan is not the #1 team in the nation. If Florida beats tOSU, the Gators deserve a consensus championship.

USC kicks off to begin the game. BCS season is underway!

Michigan takes over. A 3-and-out would have been nice to start the game, but a 4-and-out is almost as good.

USC takes over. USC's running game is going nowhere. The Michigan defense is almost as fast as the USC defense, especially laterally.

Alan Branch is doing to USC what those two bRuins did to us.

USC wanted LaMarr Woodley pretty badly. I hope he doesn't have a chip on his shoulder wanting to prove that USC wishes they had him, or thinks we dissed him in the recruiting process or some crap like that.

We have our first missed opportunity of the day. Steve Smith was open, but Booty missed him. Six points, potentially.

At least we got on the board first. Mario Danelo hits the field goal and it's USC 3, Michigan 0.

And thus endeth the first quarter. I'll take it. Projected final score: USC 12 Michigan 0.

Michigan scores. There goes the shutout. USC 3 Michigan 3. I should be happy. Henne had a guy open in the end zone twice.

Booty is getting time to throw, and his play action is working. The run game is still dead though. About all it has been good for is to set up the play action fakes, which Michigan's LBs are biting at every time.

Okay, the second major missed opportunity has hit us. Booty fumbled. They might review it, but it looked like a clean fumble to me, and I'm in the 16th row.

USC leads the woulda-coulda-shoulda game 14-3. I hope missed opportunities don't define this USC Rose Bowl the way they did the last one.

Sedrick Ellis is having a nice game. This is starting to remind me a little of 2004. Michigan had allowed something ridiculous like 6 sacks all year, when USC came in and sacked John Navarre 9 times. This year, they are allowing 1.5 sacks a game, but here we are, still in the second quarter, and we've got five!

With USC puniting to the Michigan 26, I'm going to head to the nacho stand.

First Half Score: USC 3 Michigan 3. I'm glad I didn't bet the over.

USC goes 63 straight games scoring 20+ points, and now they are on pace to dip below 20 for two straight.

Okay, this is pissing me off. I waited in line for 20 minutes to get sodas and "Macho Nachos" with cheese, chili and grilled peppers and onions. And the lady tells me that the nachos at this stand only come with that crappy demi-cheese. I have to go wait in another line.

The line ain't moving, man.

I check my web-enabled phone for first half stats. Most amazing stat: Michigan's run offense got minus nine yards! Mike Hart has run for at least 90 yards in every game this season. According to some stat nerd, no other back has hit the 90 yard "mark" in every game his team played this year.

I'm guessing from the way they phrased it that some other backs have 90+ in every game they played in, but that they sat out a game or two. Adrian Peterson maybe?

I offer the front of the line $10 for macho nachos. No takers.

Michigan kicks off to start the second half, and I'm still in the macho nacho line. At least there is a TV.

USC starts with a nice pass. The passing game is working. Boo-ya!

Run for zip. Run for zip. Punt. Crabnap!

Under pressure, Henne throws a pick behind the line of scrimmage on a screen dump when he should have just thrown it away. LoJack gets the pick.

You know what, the nachos are not that important. I'm missing a great game. I'll buy a Tommy burger after the game if I must.

I hear cheers on my way in and part of me hopes it's not a TD. I want to be there to see it if we score the TD.

I get to my seat and my brother looks at me like I'm an alien. Gone all that time and I come back without even getting the nachos? Yes, and I don't want to talk about it right now.

TOUCHDOWN! USC 10, Michigan 3.

Man, McCoy was WIDE open. That's a nice play for the 5th year senior. He's taken a back seat to Mike Williams, Keary Colbert, Steve Smith and Dwayne Jarrett for five seasons, but he just got the go-ahead touchdown in a Rose Bowl. Very nice.

Michigan does nothing, and punts away.

USC gets a block in the back penalty on the return. Holy cow! That's the first penalty flag I've seen all day, and it's midway through the third quarter. Both teams are playing a great game.

Booty hits Smith and I thought that was six. Another TD would be huge here.

TOUCHDOWN! Dwayne Jarrett, Michigan misses the tackles, and it was almost a score.

Mario Danelo misses the extra point right in front of us. Dammit. That could be huge. He made something like 58 or 59 going into last week, and missed the one against UCLA (which was also huge) and now this one. Arg! USC 16, Michigan 3.

Brian Cushing gets a huge sack and forces the fumble. USC has the ball! BoiFromTroy must be thrilling again. Cushing's name has been called out a bazillion times today.

It occurs to us that LaMarr Woodley's name has barely been uttered at all. I wouldn't have expected that. Kyle Williams, a fifth year senior who was rumored to have quit the team after his terrible game against UCLA, is playing very well against Woodley.

Fourth and a long one. Oh boy. This could be huge. We keep saying that. "This could be huge. This could be huge."

It's HUGE! We get a rushing first down on a QB keeper. I think. From our seats, it looked like a giant rugby scrum.

TOUCHDOWN!

Oh. Not a touchdown.

That was a great hit on Jarrett, but it doesn't hurt any less if you hold onto the ball, DJ. After review, the call remains incomplete. Here comes Danelo. I'd rather see David Buehler.

FIELD GOAL USC! Trojans 19, Michigan 3.

Is the missed extra point looming large again? It's still a two-possession game. Add that PAT and Michigan would need three scores to erase the lead....

Third Quarter Score: USC 19, Michigan 3.

If Michigan comes back, Breaston is going to need some big catches. Michigan is playing like this is a two-minute drill.

The tight end has been catching a lot of balls over the middle. I'd have thought Breaston or at least Arrington would be the guy to hurt our secondary. Maybe it's a good thing, since passes to the tight end seem to be Michigan's bailout play.

Touchdown, Adrian Arrington. Note that I'm a total homer, like a UCLA announcer, using allcaps for the USC TDs and lower case for the Michigan scores.

I just noticed that the Michigan fans near us did not come back after halftime. It can't be the game. It must be the drunken fool sitting next to us. He's already spilled beer on one fan, who in turn jumped up and knocked over his own beer. He also dropped popcorn into my brother's Coke. He's now moved down into the empty seats previously taken by the annoyed Michigan fans.

Michigan goes for two and Mike Hart was stopped cold. Twice. Or so it looked from my seats. Somehow, dude stayed on his feet until he got to the end zone. Score. USC 19, Michigan 11. Crabnap! It's a one-possession game.

This feels as much like 2006 as it does 2004. One great drive could ice it. One bad drive could do us in. One bad possession. One batted or tipped pass. One fumble. We need great execution from here on out.

Okay, another QB sneak converts a third and one with 12:39 remaining. At the risk of sounding redundant, that was huge. We missed some of those critical short yardage plays against UCLA and Texas.

The running game is still doing nothing, even when we pass to the TB. CJ Cable got a short pass in the open field and David Harris just flew to him and made the tackle. Them's boys is as fast as ours boys.

We need to score here or we're maybe in trouble. Grinding out the clock is not going to work.

Pass incomplete. Pass incomplete. We now have a 3rd and 10 with 11:29. Oh God, please don't let Lane Kiffin call a run up the middle to run down the clock. We need to throw downfield to try to convert the first down.

Or not. TOUCHDOWN! Dwayne Jarrett. But a little finger-pointing at the end draws a flag. Dammit.

Check that. The finger-pointing must have inspired a late hit by Barringer. The penalty is on Michigan.

Drunken Trojan fan just fell down. Two full rows. He knocked over six people, and one of them is hurt. What a dumbass. Fortunately, I'm behind the guy, and when he loses his balance toward our row, we see it coming and push on him a little.

Now would be a good time to point out that Leon Hall is as overrated now as he was when Mike Williams bullied him in 2004.

The PAT gets shanked again! Dammit! Crabnap! We should have taken half the distance on that penalty. USC 25, Michigan 11.

Buehler kicks off from the 50 after the penalty and darn near gets it between the uprights. Here's an idea. If we get another TD, let's have the center snap it back 30 yards to a super-deep holder and let Buehler boot it from the 35 yard line, rather than letting Danelo kick it from close.

Danelo has basically wasted his second field goal. With two shanked PATs and Michigan getting the two-point conversion, we've lost a field goal with the PAT game. Unbelievable. If Michigan gets two TDs to send this game into OT and we lose, Danelo is going to be a very unhappy kid.

David Rivers laid a lickin' on Hart, who might be injured.

Michigan moves the ball down, but on 4th and 11, Henne finds Breaston short of the first down marker, and he slips. Sweet. USC ball!

Wow. First down. To Smith. Boom! First down. To Jarrett. Boom! To Davis. Boom! One-handed. First down. To Smith. Boom!

TOUCHDOWN! Four plays. No second downs. Not much clock (1:10) was ground off, but Danelo hits the PAT and the score is now....

USC 32, Michigan 11!

Bom, bom. Beat ... the Vandals!

The drunk dude is handing out high fives left and right, and almost missed a couple of people and barely avoided smacking me in the face.

This season will end 11-2 with a win in the Rose Bowl. Would you have accepted that if you got such an offer at the beginning of the year? Hell, yes. Okay, maybe you'd have negotiated to make the second loss one to Arizona State or Oregon, but hey, that's not bad for a rebuilding year.

Michigan has a 4th and long already. Will they punt? I mean, it is over. It is 32-11. Why risk embarrassing yourself 39-11 by turning it over on downs now.

They punt.

USC actually gets a few good runs. The clock is ticking, baby!

We start passing around the digital cameras in the stands. Okay, get a picture of me and my brother. I'll take one of you and your buddy. Take a picture of you and your wife? Absolutely. I'll get one with the scoreboard behind you. Then this guy will get one of you with the field behind you.

Oh, the game is still not over?

I wonder if Sanchez is going to come in. Booty has 391 yards. Maybe they want to get him to 400.

Sack! LaMarr Woodley finally makes a play, but it's a garbage time sack. Get JD outta there! He doesn't need 400 yards. We need to run the ball.

And Mark Sanchez comes in for Booty.

Bradford runs out of bounds with 2:25 to go. A freshman mistake. Oh well, no harm.

Michigan's last possession. Boom. Boom. Boom! Touchdown Steve Breaston. A juggling act with 1:09 to play. Thomas tried to strip him going in. I might have gotten a good shot of that one. USC 32, Michigan 18. In comes the good hands team. Maybe Cushing will get another TD here to add to his magnificant defensive game.

USC recovers, and here comes the Gatorade bucket. Chilo Rachal and Rey Maualuga catch Pete Carroll with the help of a distracting assistant.

'Tis better to be cold and wet than warm and dry on a night like this if you are a head coach.

We'll run one play and that's it.

Final Score: USC 32, Michigan 18! USC never trailed.

Bom! Bom. Beat! The Vandals!

Desmond Reed is the first Trojan to lead the band.

Check these final offensive statistics: Booty: 25-of-47, 391 yards (career high), four TDs, one INT; Jarrett: 11 catches, 205 yards; Smith, seven catches, 108 yards. That kicks Smith over 1,000 for the season.

But defense wins championships. USC's defense was really good this year and will be even better next year. OLB Dallas Sartz is the only defensive starter not coming back to USC next season, and his position has the most capable backups ready to step in.

Will USC be the preseason #1 next year? CNNsi says yes. I agree, unless Florida beats Ohio State. The Gators are young, too.

The world has been made right again. UCLA lost a crappy bowl, while USC beat Michigan in the Rose Bowl. It's like Bo Schembechler didn't really go away.

We stuck around until trophy time and then spent a long time getting out of the stadium. I feel like a herded bull.

I heard Carroll's comments about being disappointed that USC is not in the title game. "It it was disappointing becquse we knew we could play with anybody." And the fans cheer.

Carroll hands the RB trophy to Jarrett first. Sophomore Brian Cushing is the defensive MVP. No shock. DJ is the offensive MVP. Both are Jersey kids. The fans chant: "One more year! One more year!"

More importantly, we want Carroll to eschew the NFL offers for another year. Or two. Or ten.

After we got to the car, we listened to AM 710. Asked about the Arizona job rumors, Carroll said there was "nothing to that at all. It's BS."

That's all I wanted to hear.

The 2006 season is in the books. It's 11-2, Pac 10 champs, Rose Bowl champs. Thank you, USC.

USC v. Michigan Game Note Releases

I just got back from the Grand Canyon, and didn't have time to do a post about the Rose Bowl. But everything you could possibly want to know is here in USC's Rose Bowl Guide. Michigan has one, too.

New on VMK

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