In 2004, Pat Robertson revealed to the world that God had told him the presidential election would be a landslide victory for George W. Bush. "I really believe I'm hearing from the Lord it's going to be like a blowout."
It didn't happen.
In 2005, Pat Robertson revealed to the world that God had told him the U.S. would see a tremendous incident of miracles in the year 2005, the American stock market was going to surge upward, and President Bush was positioned to have victory after victory and that his second term was going to be one of triumph.
It didn't happen.
In 2006, Pat Robertson revealed to the world that God had told him the U.S. would be hit by major flooding including a possible tsunami. "If I heard the Lord right about 2006, the coasts of America will be by vicious hurricanes this year. There well may be something as bad as a tsunami in the Pacific Northwest."
It didn't happen.
In 2007, Pat Robertson revealed to the world that God had told him the U.S. would be hit with mass killings on U.S. soil from a terrorist attack that would affect major cities and millions of people. He suggested that the attack would be nuclear, but cautioned that the Lord didn't use the word nuclear. "I'm not necessarily saying it's going to be nuclear. The Lord didn't say nuclear. But I do believe it will be something like that."
It didn't happen.
In 2008, Pat Robertson revealed to the world that God had told him the U.S. would be hit by a recession and a major stock market upheaval, and oil will reach $150 a barrel. It will get worse next year. "I also believe the Lord was saying by 2009, maybe 2010, there's going to be a major stock market crash." God also told Robertson who would win the election. "He told me some things about the election, but I'm not going to say, because some old man on "60 Minutes" would make fun of me, so I'm not going to tell you who the winner's going to be." Robertson fails to take into account, of course, that the old man will only make fun of him if he and/or God gets it wrong. Oh, and "the Lord was saying there's going to be violence and chaos in the world," Robertson added.
It won't happen. God never tells Pat Robertson the truth.
Ok, the last one he might get right, since we are running on about a 6,000 year known streak of violence and chaos in the world. If he predicted that there would be an end to violence and chaos, and was right, I'd be impressed. The only prediction I remember him connecting with was the one about George W. Bush nominating conservative judges to the federal courts. That, however, was like predicting that the weather will become warmer during the summer, before cooling off later in the year. This year, I'm going to make some predictions and see how I do. If I turn out to be right, it was the Lord who told me. If not, perhaps it was Satan. Here is what has been revealed to me:
- Hillary Clinton will fail in her bid to become president.
- Another major political figure in Pakistan will be assassinated.
- A hurricane will strike the U.S. eastern seaboard.
- The Patriots will win the Super Bowl.
- Oil will break $130 a barrel.
- Gasoline will cross the $4/gallon mark.
- A popular Hollywood actress will get arrested.
- A popular Hollywood actress will check into rehab.
- At least three famous Hollywood couples will split in 2008.
- A gay sex scandal will bring down a Catholic priest.
- A gay sex scandal will bring down a Megachurch pastor.
- A gay sex scandal will bring down a Republican politician.
- Al Qaeda will kill fewer than 1,000,000 Americans.
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