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Another Self-Evident Truth

When the academy nominates five movies that did not appeal to the masses, the Oscar telecast ratings will be crap. It's not just self-evident, it is evidenced. What had the best ratings? My guess would be whatever year Titanic won for Best Picture.

Jury Deliberates Five Minutes Before Convicting Kevin Underwood

Kevin Underwood, the creepy blogger-turned-murderous-cannibal, was convicted of murder today in Oklahoma. His blog, futureworldruler is no longer around, but thanks to Google cache, you can see some of its creepiness. From now on, when bloggers post online survey results like "You are 87% evil" and "Your fetish is probably illegal", I'm not going to laugh. His blog ceased publication without explanation after his April 13, 2006 post. When he wrote that short innocuous blurb, he had a dead 10-year-old girl in a plastic tub in his closet. He was arrested on the 14th and immediately confessed boasted of his crime to the police. No matter how persuasive an opponent of the death penalty you may be, you shall never succeed in convincing me that this dog should be put down without delay.

Tuesday Travel Photo (No. 167)

A bird on a cow in a field by a church is worth photographing at any time, but this church is a special church. Located on the Ke'anae Peninsula, along the Hana Highway, Ke'anae Congressional Church sits alongside some of the prettiest rocky beaches in Hawaii. The surf pounds the jagged black volcanic rocks and cascades back into the Pacific Ocean in a scenic rhythm that I can watch for hours without getting bored. Sometimes, the waves are bigger than they are at some other times. The Ke'anae Congressional Church was the only structure to survive a tsunami that scrubbed the rest of the peninsula clean in 1946.

They now have some supremely awesome speakers atop a pole above the penisula, to warn people to get up to the Hana Highway before the next tsunami washes this poor old cow out to sea.

Jesus or Mary Appears in Tree Bark

It's stupid enough that some people think that a random blog of gunk on a wall or a tree that looks remotely like a bearded 14th century Italian (historically inaccurate) image of Jesus, but if you can't tell whether the odd bark formation in your tree is Jesus or Mary or just some random lump of bark, just shut up about it already. It isn't either of them.

Legislative Intent Is No Longer Relevant?

"It is not our job to speculate upon congressional motives." -- Antonin Scalia, Riegel v. Medtronic, Inc. (2008) __ U.S. __ (Feb. 20, 2008), majority opinion.

Going Pro Early

Two-time All-American Tennessee basketball player Candace Parker has announced she’s foregoing her senior year of eligibility to play in the Olympics and turn pro. Parker leads the Lady Vols in scoring and rebounding with 20.6 points and 8.8 rebounds per game. She is one of only six women to have dunked in the college game. How much will she be cashing in? The current WNBA salary schedule calls for a player drafted in the first four overall picks to make $44,064 her first season, $44,945 her second, $49,440 her third and $56,182 her fourth.

The Oscars

It seems like everyone is excited about tonight's Oscar show at the Kodak Theater. I doubt that I'll watch it. The speeches are usually quite dreadful and the award selections are usually crap. Where and when else but on Oscar night can you hear such silly determinations as Ordinary People being a better film than Raging Bull? Or Driving Miss Daisy being better than Field of Dreams and Dead Poet’s Society? Or A Beautiful Mind over Fellowship of the Ring? Shakespeare in Love over Saving Private Ryan and Life is Beautiful? Ridiculous. Many years, the winner is not only a less-deserving film than the runners up, but it's actually a movie that I didn't like and wouldn't watch again, e.g., Crash (2005), Million Dollar Baby (2004), Chicago (2002), The English Patient (1996) and Out of Africa (1985).

This year, I couldn't care less who wins. From what I've read, No Country for Old Men would be a deserving winner, and I'll probably end up seeing No Country for Old Men and Juno soon. But Atonement, Michael Clayton and There Will Be Blood aren't in the top 100 of movies I'd like to see for the first time before 2009. I'd rather spend my Sunday evening watch whatever Jane Austen classic my wife wants to watch on Masterpiece Theater.

USC Blasts Oregon State

I finally got out to see USC play a game in the Galen Center. It's an incredible upgrade from the Sport Arena, which was perhaps the dreariest gym in the nation. USC was playing Oregon State, which came into the game in last place in the Pac-10 with an 0-14 conference record. I was expecting to see a lot of USC scoring, and I was not expecting a close game. My expectations were met. USC won 81-53. O.J. Mayo scored 21 points. Four players scored in double digits.

Guys who rarely see playing time, much less a scoring opportunity, were dropping buckets left (Terence Green) and right (Ryan Wetherell) late in the game. USC had busted out to a 34-5 lead, but Oregon State played about even the rest of the way. That might have been a mild moral victory for the Beavers had the game not ended with an Oregon State breakaway dunk clanging off the rim and out of bounds off the fingers of a bobbling Beaver. For some reason, that play didn't make it into the print recaps or the highlight videos.

I can't wait to get to another game. Scalpers seem to have plenty of tickets. USC has an exciting team, and the Galen Center is as good a home arena as I've seen. And I've been to the Dean Dome (North Carolina), Thomas & Mack (UNLV), Pauley Pavilion (UCLA) and the Joyce Center (Notre Dame), among other places. The only drawback was the grating voice of Petros Papadakis on the P.A. system.

Sure, Watch This on a Laptop

But not in an airport or on an airplane. Link.

Shootout!

Corey Perry scored a goal on the Anaheim Ducks' first shootout attempt against the Avalanche, and J.S. Giguere stopped all three Colorado shots, and the Ducks won 3-2. It was the first time I'd ever been to a game that ended in a shootout. Our voices will be shot tomorrow.

Keith Van Horn's $4.3 Million

To make the Jason Kidd trade go through under the NBA's salary cap trade restrictions, Dallas re-signed Keith Van Horn for $4.3 million so he could be included in the trade with New Jersey and make the salaries fit. Van Horn has been out of the league for more than a year, and he isn't expected to actually resuming playing for the Nets. He's just there to happily collect his paycheck and let them use his name and payroll on the roster to make things balance out.

I don't ever want to hear another word about how much money lawyers make.

If This Defense Is True ...

then it's just another negative reinforcement to discourage us all from considering a very bad idea. When you happen upon a young lady lying motionless and unclothed in the street, it is a bad idea to start humping her. At best, you'll get really boring sex. At worst, she's dead and the police will charge you with her murder.

Lex TV 157

Here are another dozen interesting or amusing videos:

The coolest sports montage ever.

The struggle of the middle class, as explained by Drew Carey.

Hillary's pathetic answer to Obama's "Yes We Can" video.

Senator Jim DeMint explains the economic stimulus package.

Dwight Howard's amazing Superman dunk.

Coca-Cola's awesome Super Bowl ad: Bill Frist and JAM.

The subprime bubble explained with a straight face.

A cool video about the Tacoma Bridge collapse.

Bill Gates, enjoying his retirement.

Ten least sportsmanlike plays ever.

Mother of spoiled biotch goes on wife swap.

Obvious infomercial quackery: footpad detox.

Tuesday Travel Photo (No. 166)

This is the boat we met onshore before dawn on our last morning in Maui. We were not at all sure that I was going to be up for the ride out to Molokini to snorkel at down, and we were almost as apprehensive about our ability to wake up in time to be on the beach by 6:00 a.m., so we decided to make no reservations, and simply try to show up and get on the boat if they had room. We were in luck. In one of the dumbest things I did after my surgery, I went ahead and got on that boat, road it out to the island, and went snorkeling at daybreak. It was fun and exciting, but painful, and it quite possibly may have contributed to my post-surgical infections that developed a few days later.

The best part of the trip, to my surprise, was not the snorkeling inside Molokini Crater. It was seeing the whales and dolphins breaching on the way back. The worst part, without a doubt, was getting blindsided by waves while boarding. This picture was taken after we left the boat, but it's a fairly accurate depiction of where and how we had to board it, except when we boarded, it was pitch black out.

RIP Arthur Carmona

Arthur Carmona is dead. He died Sunday morning when he was struck by a truck following a loud argument at a party in Santa Ana. Carmona gained notoriety in 2000 when he was released from prison after 2 1/2 years when evidence showed that he had been wrongfully convicted of the armed robbery of an Irvine juice bar in 1998. To gain his release as quickly as possible, Carmona signed a promise not to sue. His lawyers, friends of mine who worked in the same office I did, contended that the promise was invalid, and filed a major civil rights case on his behalf in U.S. District Court (his defense lawyer at trial was an acquaintance, too). I never had a chance to talk with the young man. I don't his legal team really wanted him talking to the other lawyers in the office, but I did meet him casually, and it was obvious to me that he was one very angry young man. I could understand why. I'd have been angry, too. Maybe I, too, would have let my anger put me in bad, even dangerous situations. Maybe I would have let prison kill me eight years after my release.

Though they did not seek a retrial, the District Attorney's office continued to assert that he was guilty of the crime. Ultimately, his lawsuit was thrown out on summary judgment, and his appeal was denied. He was angry about the conviction, angry about the prison time, and angry about never being made good for the injustice. A few years after his convictions were lifted, he got into trouble again, over a parking lot dispute that left two cars, including his, severely vandalized. The news reports suggest that his murder on Sunday came after some sort of confrontation. Maybe that isn't it at all, however. His family told reporters that Arthur had turned his life around finally. “When he got out of jail, he went through a lot of ups and downs,” his mother said, but "he had found purpose and he was finally moving on.” His uncle told reporters “He was doing very well. He was a joyful, outgoing kind of guy. He was always happy and had lots of friends.”

Does Anybody Ever Fall For Phishing Efforts Like This?

Here's what I got in the mail today from some Chinese tool at www.woogg.net:

Dear custmer , Due to the large fraud activity monitored in 2007 and many custmers registerd screen names with fake information and so fraud billing information,AOL is taking an action against those activity through new billing system co-operating with members bank issuers. this message has been sent to all AOL members to go through this checking if you still want your screen name
Yes, I still need my screen name please keep me registerd [link omitted]
No, iam not pleased with AOL service and i am not in need for my screen name any more . [link omitted]

Once the process is complete, you will then be able to keep your current AOL Network Screen Name to access AOL Web products, including AIM and the new AIM Mail.

As a security precaution you will not be able to obtain or change your password or update your e-mail address until you confirm your proccess. Upon confirmation you will receive a welcome message with helpful information.

(Notice : Ignoring This E-mail Will Auto-Suspend Your Screen Name By Midnight
Thank you,
AOL Network Screen Name Team
This e-mail has been sent from an e-mail address that is not monitored. Please do not reply to this message. We are unable to respond to any replies

(lol, lol, lol)

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What a tool. Does anyone really think they need to give their banking, motor vehicle, employment, spousal and other private information just to maintain a free email account, especially when the demand come via an email that makes a spelling or grammatical error at least every other sentence?

Goal!!!

Teemu Selanne just became the all-time career points leader for the Anaheim Ducks with his 700th point on a go-ahead goal against Calgary. Paul Kariya's record of 699 is toast. There have been three fights, too. Awesome. Just awesome.

I Thought Cal Fans Were Supposed To Be Smart

Apparently, a bunch of fans on a Cal football message board were  excited about Kevin Hart, that silly high school boy who faked his own recruitment from Cal. If you want to have a little laugh at the expense of Cal Fan, read up. Some of my favorite quotes:

I think this qualifies as a KABOOM...

Yes I have seem him play. He's pretty good. Has college size, good skills. Good addition for Cal.

So I guess this pretty much completes our class?

Oregon is taking two OL guys this class and waiting on Hamani Stevens. if they whiff on stevens word is Hart would have been offered the scholarship

Sounds like a great young man with D1 size and attitude! Players from the rural areas don't get the stars from the recruiting services, but the right ones sure can play......hello Ryan O'Callahan, who'll be playing on Super Bowl Sunday.

I think Kevin Hart will be one hell of a sleeper recruit for Cal.

I'm really excited about ... Hart

I really wish I could read this one:

This post has been deleted.

I'll bet that one was hilarious. They're close be being right though. A big mediocre athlete is a perfect fit at Cal. Too bad he isn't really going there.

Top Recruiting Classes

You know that awesome recruiting class the Crimson Tide just brought in? The one with 32 top notch players? Well, they won't be able to keep them all. The class exceeds both the annual signing limit of 25 and brings the school's overall scholarship total to above the limit of 85. Nick Saban is counting on having some guys grayshirt, fail in some academic issues, or quit for medical reasons. Next year, could be ugly, too, as 'Bama loses just 15 seniors.

My Old Staff Writer, Scott Wolf

One of the other things I noticed in the high school alumni newsletter I got last week was that Scott Wolf, the USC beat writer for the L.A. Daily News and author of the popular "Inside USC" blog, has written the article about our alma mater winning its first CIF championship in football since my sophomore year.

I knew that Wolf and I had gone to the same high school, but I had forgotten about our association until recently. After seeing the article, my curiousity was sufficiently piqued to get me out into the garage to dig up my old yearbooks and high school newspapers. Scott was on the golf team. I had remembered that. He had a head full of wild wavy hair. I remembered that (which was why I didn't immediately recognize him when I saw his columns and video blogs). He was also on the prop crew for some of the high school productions. I hadn't remembered that. Probably only the other prop guys would have remembered or even known that. More relevantly, however, he was a staff writer for the school newspaper during his senior year (my junior year), when I was the sports editor.

Suddenly, I felt so proud. One of my staff writers from my days as a high school sports editor has grown up to become an AP voter.

I sent him an email recently, but he blew me off.

Meth Deposit Earns Plenty of Interest

Did you catch this story: "Woman Accused Of Depositing Meth At Bank"? Unbelievable.

"A Washington state woman won't be collecting any interest on one bank deposit, authorities say. According to court documents, the 18-year-old woman mistakenly put a bag of methamphetamine in an envelope with her cash and dropped it off at a Kitsap Credit Union automated teller machine."

Collecting interest? No. Attracting interest? You bet. It made her the talk of the town.

Someone Call Mark Geragos

Actress Bai Ling was arrested Wednesday at LAX for allegedly shoplifting two celebrity magazines and two packets of batteries worth a total of about $16. Who wants to bet that she hires Mark Geragos to defend her? And gets convicted, of course.

Looking Back at USC's 2006 Class

USC has five of the top 20 players in the country from the 2006 recruiting class, and you've seen them all perform, including Arkansas transfer Mitch Mustain. However, the class that was a consensus number one in the country has already lost seven of its original 27 members (not including transfers Mustain and Damian Williams).

• Kenny Ashley - did not qualify
• Walker Ashley - transferred to Minnesota
• Jamere Holland - dismissed before 2007 season, transferred to Oregon
• Antwine Perez - transferred to Maryland
• Vincent Joseph - lost academic ineligibility
• Emmanuel Moody - transferred to Florida
• Joshua Tatum, left school for Miami; not on Miami roster

Allen Bradford is rumored to be transferring out at the end of this semester.

Don't Tase J.D.'s Bro

Too late. Josh Booty drank too much and drove through the OC this morning, allegedly, and got a little testy. In Santa Ana, that's a tasing, bro.

Lex TV 156

Here are another dozen interesting or amusing videos:

Are you a Cowboy fan? You know who else loved the Cowboys? Hitler.

Man catches pedophile raping his boy and beats the guy to death. Respect.

Inattentive cop making a left turn rams a guy in a wheelchair.

Van der Sloot admits he was with Natalee Holloway when she died.

Chris Berman brags about how he smuggles drugs into the U.S. from Canada.

Coca-Cola's awesome Super Bowl ad: Parade Balloon.

The accused slugs his attorney in front of the judge and the courtroom camera.

What these guys can do on bicycles is unbelievable.

Every UCLA recruit should be forced to watch this Bruin promo piece.

Artist Banksy puts an Abu Ghraib figure along a Disneyland ride.

Fire: Even when you have no lighter or matches, but you have wool and a 9-volt.

This is the Reebok ad you would have seen if the Pats had gone 19-0.

Former Trojan Kenechi Udeze Ill

It is being reported today that former USC standout and current Minnesota Vikings defensive end Kenechi Udeze has leukemia. "Kenechi" means "God's love will always be with me." Let's hope so.

Tuesday Travel Photo (No. 165)

This is commonly known as the Lahaina Banyan. It is all just one giant tree. Planted in Lahaina, Maui in April 1873, it commemorated the 50th anniversary of Christian missionary work there. The tree was eight feet tall when it was imported from India. It now stands over six stories tall, covering more than two-thirds of an acre, and branching out with twelve major trunks outside the massive center trunk. Between Front Street and the harbor, it backs the historic old Lahaina Courthouse.

It looks like it would be a lot of fun to climb, but climbing is forbidden.

The Bruce

My high school alumni newsletter came last week bearing very sad news. My friend Robert Bruce died in October. I hadn't talked to him in almost twenty years. He was two years younger than me. He and I briefly went around with the same group of girls back in the day. We once went to a girl's house late at night and had her father pull a shotgun on us. We had knocked on her window after midnight, and unbeknownst to us, her grandmother was visiting, and was sleeping in her room while she slept in her brother or sister's room. I learned that night that I really do not like having a gun pointed at me, but we apologized and he let us go.

I also spent some time hanging out with Robert's older brother, Brian. Brian was the guy who scored the tickets to the first USC football game I ever attended -- USC v. Notre Dame, 1984. We woke up that morning to a warm sun and clear skies, so we wore shorts and t-shirts to the game. Had we checked the weather forecast, we'd have brought umbrellas. By the end of the third quarter, we were shivering and soaked from head to toe. We also had just about the worst seats in the house, dead center (my elbow was touching the TV platform between the goalposts) and two rows from the top, with nobody sitting above us.

I have no idea what Robert or his brother did after about my junior or senior year in college. We went our separate ways and never stayed in touch. A death notice in a high school newsletter is a lousy way to keep tabs on old friends.

My Coaching Career Is Over Again

My girls ended their season with a second round loss at the Mater Dei Tournament. They finished with an overall record of 14-7, good for second place in league and a couple of tournament trophies. My daughter started her last game and got some points, steals and rebounds, so she was happy. Perhaps I'll coach again in four or five years when my younger daughter plays school ball.

More on Shaq

Funniest thing I heard or read about the Suns acquiring Shaq: "It's like getting engaged to a fat chick because she was on homecoming court in high school."

Ebay Insanity, er Invisibility

This is one of the strangest eBay listings I've ever seen. Lot 140204797164 "~ BECOME INVISIBLE & walk UNSEEN among people or CROWDS." Excluding the graphics, it boasts that:

A powerful secret is within your grasp...

Become INVISIBLE! This is not a toy, a magic trick or a scam. This is not an illusion or a Ninja technique. No Lies!  Become 100% invisible! The Secret of Invisibility renders you completely invisible. This method is currently used by the CIA and foreign intelligence agencies. Don't Scoff!  You can go anywhere without being seen. You're invisible to all you meet... NOT EVEN A SHADOW. This works even when you're completely surrounded by cameras or people. Lets you vanish & reappear as you wish, wherever you may be! 

NO mumbo-jumbo or hocus pocus
NO spells or potions
NO burning candles or magic wands
NO alchemy or hidden symbols
NO hype or Bull.  You get exactly what you need
NO danger.  You can't be hurt in any way
NO disappointment.  You get just what we promise
No astral 'trips' to other worlds or dimensions. You walk the earth
No trouble.  You're either visible or invisible as you need & desire   

As a special bonus, you also receive:

The Wizard's Book of Animal Secrets: Amazing animal secrets!  Have you ever wished that you could control & command wild animals?  Here are the secret methods used to rule & command birds, insects, mammals & reptiles... even fish found in lakes & streams! This compilation vividly illustrates how to control animals for your pleasure.  These secrets have been guarded forever against disclosure to the public. Here's just a sample of what you get:

How to command flocks of birds wherever you go 
Controlling snakes, bees, gnats, houseflies
Teaching your dog to walk & dance on stilts
Commanding your cat to use the bathroom toilet 
Quickly tame wild horses when others have failed
The quiet world of frogs & toads
Keeping a squirrel in your pocket
Bringing dead creatures BACK TO LIFE! 
Much more!

Of course it has to be horsecrap, but the guy has an eBay feedback rating of 99.6% with 501 transactions and feedback from a lot of different eBay users, many of whom themselves have high feedback scores. I don't know how the guy pulled it off.

USC's Most Wanted List for 2009

According to the local recruiting show on Fox last night, these are the guys USC will be hoping to sign next season:

Matt Barkley, QB, Mater Dei
Cierre Wood, RB, Santa Clara
Shaquelle Evans, WR, Inglewood
Kevin Graf, OL, Agoura
Vontaze Burfict, LB, Centenniel

USC already has commitments for the Class of 2009 from:

Matt Barkley
Kevin Graf
Randall Carroll, WR, Cathedral
Patrick Hall, Ath, St. Bonaventure
Morrell Presley, TE, Carson
T.J. McDonald, DB, Fresno Carson

All of these athletes are on the 2009 Rivals 100 list.

Will Shaq Be Baq For the Heat-Hawks Replay?

Last month, the NBA upheld a Miami protest over their December 19, 2007 loss in Atlanta. With 51.9 seconds remaining in overtime, the home team scorers disqualified Shaquille O'Neal after his fifth foul, incorrectly declaring that he had fouled out, which can only happen after a player's sixth foul. The NBA ruled that the error affected the outcome of the game, and ordered that the Atlanta Hawks and Miami Heat would replay the final 51.9 seconds of the game when they meet again on March 8 in Atlanta. Play is to resume with the Hawks leading 114-111, with 51.9 seconds of the game, and O'Neal now back in the game with just five fouls.

But wait. On March 8, 2008, Shaquille O'Neal is going to be a member of the Phoenix Suns. So,

• Does Shaq come back for the replay? He could. It's an off night for the Suns. But could they make him? If so, could they make him try hard? Not likely.
• Can the Heat play the last 51.9 seconds with their new players instead?
• If so, can they use both Shawn Marion and Marcus Banks, or just one new guy?
• If so, do we deem them to have five fouls?
• Does the league let them play over without the new players, in which case the error clearly no longer affects the outcome of the game?
• Do they dismiss the protest as moot?
• Or is there some other option I haven't thought about yet?

What would you do? I'd dismiss the protest.

Post Signing Day Rankings

ESPN's updated class rankings now have USC's 2008 recruiting class ranked #6. Former top classes at Notre Dame and UCLA dropped to #9 and #14. Miami, Clemson, Alabama and Florida are ahead of the Trojans. Rivals.com puts the Trojan class at #7, with Notre Dame #2 and UCLA #13. Scout has USC #9, UCLA #10 and Notre Dame at #2.

USC locked up 9 of the top 20 California players and got five of the West Coast Fab 15. A couple of top recruits from Atlanta and Tallahassee rounded up the class. If transfers like TE Jordan Cameron, WR Damian Williams and QB Mitch Mustain were included in this class, it might be considered the best in the nation.

Signing Day 2008: USC Loses Joe Adams, Signs Nick Perry and TJ Bryant

Joe Adams, the four-star cornerback from Little Rock, Arkansas is going to the Razorbacks. That dropped the size of the USC class to 16. It got back up to 17 with the addition of DE Nick Perry, who had been considering Michigan.

Update #1: The loss of Adams is going to hurt a lot less now that Tallahassee cornerback TJ Bryant has signed for the Trojans. Bryant was regarded at least as highly as Adams. Either player would have been a coup for the Trojans, as both come from the heart of SEC territory. The class is now 18 strong.

Update #2: More than half of the class, including OTs Smith and Kalil, have now signed.

Update #3: According to my old high school newspaper colleague Scott Wolf, the entire class of 18 have now signed. Scout has moved the class ranking to #13, but according to need, it's a better class than that. There is no big name QB or RB, by design, but USC hauled in 8 of Scout's 100 top prospects. Only Ohio State brought in as many. Here is the class, with a couple more potential surprises in the wings.

Armond Armstead DT  6-4 287 - 6.0  Elk Grove, CA
Blake Ayles TE  6-4 245 4.7 6.0  Orange, CA
Brian Baucham RB  5-11 170 4.4 5.6  Torrance, CA
T.J. Bryant DB  6-1 175 4.4 6.0  Tallahassee, FL
Brice Butler WR  6-2 178 4.4 6.0  Norcross, GA
Daniel Campbell OL  6-5 320 5.2 5.9  Aldine, TX
Jurrell Casey DT  6-1 280 - 5.8  Long Beach, CA
Khaled Holmes OL  6-4 301 - 5.9  Santa Ana, CA
Wes Horton DE  6-6 230 4.8 6.0  Sherman Oaks, CA
Malik Jackson DE  6-5 212 - 5.8   Lake Balboa, CA 
Matt Kalil OL  6-7 281 5.02 6.1  Anaheim, CA
Drew McAllister DB  6-2 195 - 5.7  Danville, CA
Curtis  McNeal RB  5-6 180 4.48 5.7  Los Angeles, CA
Matt Meyer OL  6-7 290 5.19 5.9  Stockton, CA
Nick Perry DE  6-4 240 4.51 6.0  Detroit, MI
D.J. Shoemate ATH  6-0 219 4.5 5.9  Anaheim, CA
Maurice Simmons LB  6-2 203 4.78 5.6  Compton, CA
Tyron Smith OL  6-5 260 5.1 6.1  Moreno Valley, CA

Update #4: Linebacker Jerrell Harris signed with Alabama. The Tide signed a monster class. They should beat the likes of Louisiana Monroe next year for sure. USC is still waiting on DE Devin Robinson, a four-star JC player who is also considering Ole Miss, and local LB Uona Kaveinga, who had committed to BYU, then said he was going to UCLA, and now says it will be USC or BYU. He'll announce at 6 p.m.

Update #5: Kaveinga just announced on Fox that he's attending USC, with his parents' blessing, even though they wanted him to attend BYU. A practicing Mormon, he plans to go on a mission after his freshman year.

Lex TV 155

Here are another dozen interesting or amusing videos:

Lewis Black on the Old Testament.

Robosoldier is finally here.

That crazy Tom Cruise scientology interview that everyone is talking about.

The Civil War in four minutes.

It can be funny to take a picture in the town of Dildo, but you should stand to the right of the sign.

The best Super Bowl ad of 2008: Adriana Lima.

Have you ever wondered what a giant ant colony looks like underground? Wonder no more.

A flash mob freezes in central station. Best flash mob since the Best Buy invasion.

Strange police dashboard video: how does the car get away at the end?

Felon Lloyd Lake accuses Reggie Bush on video. Part 1. Part 2.

The one-dollar tripod replacing camera image stabilizer.

The worst Super Bowl ad of 2008: fat dude exposing nipples.

Tuesday Travel Photo (No. 164)

The Road to Hana on Maui's northeast shore is quite scenic and pleasing. The road from Hana is perhaps even more so. Sadly, the road does not currently go all the way around the base of Mt. Haleakala, even for adventurers who choose to disregard their rental car contracts, because of a rockslide that happened in late 2006. However, the road between Hana and O'heo Gulch is still worth seeing, even if you just have to turn around at the end and go back. This is the sort of path you'll encounter. It's barely wide enough for two cars for much of the way, and not nearly wide enough for two cars along parts of the way.

Eventually, we reached the end of the road and had to turn around. It was not a simple three-point turn. It was probably a nine-point turn.

January Demiblog Links

These were the January Demiblog links:

• Britney Spears Taken Away Again.
• There Will Be No White Male Presidential Nominee From The Democratic Party
• UK Teachers Don't Not to Say Mum and Dad, Because That Assumes They Aren't Gay Parents
• e-Harmony For Prisoners
• Old and Busted: Worrying About Photos With "Red-Eye". New Hotness: Worrying About Photos With "Black Eye".
• Best Cell Phone Pic of the Day
• Imam Begins Prayer at Statehouse by Asking Allah For Victory Over The Disbelievers
• From The "This Might Not End Well" File: Scholars Claim To Have Proof That Prior Drafts of Koran Predate Creation of Islam
• In Real Life, Ennis Dies Before Jack
• Freak on a Leash Denied Bus Ride by Driver Who Says "No Dogs Allowed."
• Satanists Steal Holy Water From Turin Church
• Saudi Arabia to Lifts Ban on Women Drivers: "Allowing women to drive will only bring sin," Say the Devout.
• Fed Cuts Interest Rate Three Quarters
• The Only Chargers in the Super Bowl Will be Ex-Chargers Junior Seau and Rodney Harrison
• Third Tynes Kick's a Charm. It's New England v. NYG
• Brother Can Spare a Dime. Houston Panhandler Found With $3,426.78.
• ACLU Assists Senator Craig, Arguing That You Have a Constitutional Right to Discreetly Shag in a Public Restroom
• Jesus Appears in Rock. Or a Sleestak Appears in Rock. You Decide.
• O.C. Surfer Wins Mavericks Surf Contest
• "Pulp Fiction" Screenwriter Roger Avary Arrested for Manslaughter & DUI
• What's the New PETA Priority? Making Sure That Alleged Cannibal Is Put on a Vegetarian Diet
• Viewers Yawn at the 2008 BCS Slate
• Michigan's Ryan Mallett to Transfer to UCLA.
• Convicted Dead Horse Rapist Gets Out And Turns Into a Dead Deer Rapist
• The Golden Globes Won't Be Televised
• Hot: Reuniting With Long Long Twin. Not: Finding Out She's Your Wife
• Pregnant Marine's Charred Remains Found
• R.I.P. Hillary
• Tiger Victims Search For Lawyer Ends With The Guy Whose Highest Profile Clients All Got Convicted.
• Shopping Center Bans Grandparents For Life Due to "Terrorist Act" of Photographing Their Grandchildren
• First Baby of the Year Named Leai. Brothers Lucas and Anakin are Excited.
• Man Found Shot to Death at Glendale-Forest Lawn. Police Worried They May Find More Bodies.
• Rose Parade Protest Is a Dud
• If You Were Obeying God Because Of The Predicted 2007 Apocalypse, You Can Go Back To Sinning Now
• Family Sees Virgin Mary On Living Room Wall. In Related News, The Virgin Mary Is Now Faceless and Featureless
• USC Destroys Illinois in Rose Bowl
• No Hannah Montana Tickets For Essay Writer Whose Daddy Didn't Really Die in Iraq

18-1*

I was probably one of the few people outside of Boston who wanted the Patriots to win yesterday. I do not like any New York sports teams. I certainly don't like Eli Manning, the crybaby little brother who refused to put on a Chargers cap on the day they took him as the first overall pick in the NFL draft. I do not mind seeing a team finally shut up the 1972 Dolphin bittermen. And I really wanted to see Junior Seau, one of the finest Trojans ever, and a good Oceanside guy, win a long-deserved Super Bowl ring. So, notwithstanding my dislike of Bill Belichick and my enjoyment of an exciting and remarkable game, I'm bummed that the Giants won. At least it looks like Seau is going to come back for another season and maybe win it next year.

If the NFL champion was determined the way the NCAA champion is determined, the Giants wouldn't have even been considered for the a chance to play for the title, and it would have been Green Bay against New England in a single game playoff. Oddly enough, no one seems to be troubled by any perceived illegitimacy in New York's Super Bowl victory. In college, a team like that (compare, e.g., Tennessee or Boston College) would be an unthinkable title candidate. I think I like the NFL's way better, even if it means that 14-6 is better than 18-1.

Calling All Timothy Leary Fans

If you missed out on LSD or magic mushrooms before they became illegal, and you really feel like you missed out, you might have a chance, for just a few short months or years, to try salvia divinorum, a natural sage hallucinogen that is illegal in six states, before it gets banned in the other 44 states. Shortest fuse at the moment: Alaska.

A Replacement for Sedrick Ellis?

The Trojans added LB Poly DT Jurrell Casey (6' 1", 280 lbs.) to their list of 2008 recruits. That gives the Trojans 17 recruits and it prompted rivals.com to bump the Trojan 2008 recruiting class into the top ten, ahead of #11 UCLA and #10 Texas. If the Trojans land DE Nick Perry from Detroit, this will be an extraordinarily strong class of linemen on both sides of the ball. USC already has verbals from five offensive linemen, including three rated in the top ten nationally, and one of the top three tight ends in the country.

Senate Wants to Micromanage NFL Discipline

Senator Arlen Specter, who is clearly jealous of all the attention the Super Bowl is getting, and all the attention he is not getting, wants the Senate Judiciary Committee to investigate why the NFL destroyed the tapes that revealed the Patriots had been spying on the competition.

"It's analogous to the CIA destruction of tapes, or any time you have records destroyed."

The senator is deliriously full of himself. Perhaps, now that the Senate has solved all other pressing problems in American society, they can investigate why NBA officials never seem to call carrying over, when it happens on a regular basis.

Lakers Get Pau Gasol For Practically Free

The Lakers just vastly improved their team by acquiring power forward Pau Gasol from Memphis. The Lakers give up Kwame Brown, Javaris Crittenton, first-round draft picks in 2008 and 2010, plus guard Aaron McKie (signed today for salary cap purposes, but still working as an assistant coach for the 76ers) and the rights to Marc Gasol, Pau's little brother, who was drafted by the Lakers but is not on the current roster. None of the Laker's legitimate trade bait was lost in the transaction, so the possibility of another move (Jason Kidd?) remains. Mitch Kupchak has been brilliant this season, picking up Trevor Ariza and Pau Gasol so easily, and if the Celtics hadn't stolen Kevin Garnett during the offseason, he would be a lock for executive of the year.

[Update: it took two hours for the LA Team Store to send us an email selling Gasol Laker team jerseys.]