The Lakers have shifted gears again. Old and busted: spotting the Spurs 20 points in the second half and still winning by four. New hotness: spotting the Spurs zero points, and winning by 30. Yesterday, the question everyone was asking was how San Antonio was going to be able to get game one out of their heads. Now the question is how San Antonio is going to remember what it was like to hang within single digits of the Lakers. In the three games (all in L.A.) between the teams since Pau Gasol joined the Lakers, the Lakers have won by an average of 17 points.
A few days ago, I heard about an American hockey player getting penalized for butt-ending. After the giggles in the room subsided, I asked if anyone knew what a butt-ending penalty was. Nobody did. I don't know what it is yet, either, but I'm pretty sure I don't want to be on the receiving end of one of those.
You always hear about athletes getting hurt screwing around on motorcycles. You hardly ever hear about motorcycle riders getting hurt screwing around playing football or basketball.
The bad news is that the church is totally destroyed. The good news is that the bride and groom are both safe. The best news is that it is 2008 AD, not 2008 BC. Four thousand years ago, a married couple whose church was destroyed by a massive earthquake during their wedding would have had to assume that God disapproved of the match. Now they know better.
A new warning from scientists says that a 7.8 quake on the southern San Andreas could kill 362 people in Orange County. Not just 359, or 360 or 361 but 362. Could it kill 363? Nah, that's beyond what their model suggests.
Soviet KGB types are livid over the use of a KGB bad guy bad woman in the new Indiana Jones movie. "Harrison Ford and Cate Blanchett (are) second-rate actors, serving as the running dogs of the CIA." says one party member. Apparently, they think that because the USA and USSR stood together against Hitler, and because Russia felt sorry for the USA after 9/11, we should prohibit Hollywood from using US-Soviet hostilities in the 1950s, or thereafter, in storylines. Freedom of speech, Russia, it's a bitch, ain't it?
A couple of disgusting car salesmen who sold a truck to a mentally disabled fellow and then robbed his house of the $40,000 in cash he told them he kept in a mattress at home have been sentenced to prison. The car dealership, Huling Brothers, ruined its reputation and had to close. The incident happened in July 2006, but didn't come to light until January 2007, two weeks after Gee Automotive bought the lot. Those Huling Brothers know when to sell, don't they?
Someday, job candidates will be coming into your office with surgically altered "elf ears", and you are going to be called a bigot if you decide not to hire them.
I'm all for helping and understanding autistic children. But mothers, your right to normalize your child by letting him attend church with everyone else ends at my right not to be urinated upon during Mass.
Finally, add this to the long list of things a candidate can think, but cannot say: I am still staying in the presidential race, because you never know, my opponent might be gunned down, leaving me to win by default. More than any of her previous gaffe, lies and exaggerations, this idiotic comment by Hillary Clinton proves that she lacks the sound judgment needed in a president. And it's not just the Hannity crowd ripping on this. Keith Olbermann went off on her. For a change, I actually enjoyed one of his rants. Watch the (latest) interview to see the context for yourself. Perhaps she's right. Maybe, you never know, one of those hardworking Americans, white Americans, who support her will take that support to a John Hinckley level (but with better marksmanship) and take down Senator Obama, leaving her to play the role of Hubert Humphrey in the general election. Not completely, of course. When Senator Kennedy was shot, Humphrey actually had a decent lead in the delegate count.
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