Some truly random observations this week, as I again begin the week anticipating going under the knife:
I hate the new hands-free cell phone law. Hate it. Once again, my freedoms are crushed because of a small group of asshats who can't pay attention while they drive. I drive while talking on the cell phone all the time, and I've never even swerved, much less caused an accident, because of it.
A catcher for the Arizona Diamondbacks has been put on the DL due to a testicular fracture. I never knew that you could fracture a testicle. You really can break balls! And you can now say "Corey Hart is a real ballbuster" without using a figure of speech.
Happy Birthday this week to 52 year old Alan Ruck, who was 29 years old when he played Cameron Frye in Ferris Bueller's Day Off.
Rest in Peace, Jesse Helms. Senator Helms died on July 4, just like his idol, Thomas Jefferson, who also fully supported continuing the institution of slavery while making love children with black mistresses.
Rest in Peace, too, "flying priest" Father Adelir de Carli, who was found floating in the water beneath a bunch of balloons about 100 km off the Brazilian coast. Father de Carli went missing in April after tethering himself to 1,000 helium-filled party balloons tied to a chair, in a misguided mission to promote religion with a 20-hour flight from the town of Paranagua to the town of Dourados. Let's hope he met his maker.
No rest for A-Rod, Madonna, Lenny Kravitz and Mrs. Rodriguez. I've been reading the Bible this weekend, and reading the tabloids, and watching some weird movies, and still hold the opinion that real life is far stranger than any plausible fiction. Because real life is simply too implausible to be considered good literature.
I can't remember which comic said this, but the saying goes something like this: "take a look at any gorgeous woman, and know that somewhere out there is a guy who is sick and tired of sleeping with her." But if you take a look a Christie Brinkley, you can know that somewhere out there is a guy who is so sick and tired of seeing her naked that he is dropping $3,000 a month on Internet porn!
I am pleased to know that if you see a little boy's kite-contest-winning photo in the paper, and you stalk, kidnap, rape and murder him, you will die for it. I still don't understand how people can feel pity or mercy for such people.
Some blogging veteran took offense to John McCain blowing off a "brave reporter at ABC News" who asked what McCain's experiences in Vietnam (i.e., being a POW for many years) did to prepare him to lead the largest military on the face of the earth. McCain's response? "Please," he said, recoiling back in his seat in distaste at the very question. The blogger's response: "Uh uh. That's not good enough." I agree. McCain should have done more to put that jackass in his place. I'd have much rather seen him lean forward a little and ask the reporter, as an acquaintance of mine suggested: "What in your educational or employment experiences prepared you to waste your last interview with the Republican presidential nominee on such an insensitive question?"
The more I hear Senator Obama talking about medical care reform, the more I fear that we will end up with socialized medicine, or a "National Health Care" program like the one they have in the U.K., where they do things like denying treatment to a woman dying of cancer because she had paid privately for another drug to try to prolong her life. Alan Johnson, the health secretary, justified the denial of benefits, saying that allowing people to spend their own money on uncovered treatment would create a two-tier system, with preferential treatment for patients who could afford the extra drugs. In other words, the government decides how much care everyone gets, and no one can pursue their own treatment unless they are bringing enough for everybody. That thinking works fine with kids eating candy in kindergarten, but if someone wants to burn their life savings on life-saving or life-prolonging drugs that someone else isn't willing to pay for, the kindergarten teacher mindset shouldn't come into play.
Forget the fact that the groom is a governor, and just enjoy this entry in the list of pending wedding banns: Crist - Rome.
Finally, maybe there is a God, and maybe there isn't. But something or someone punched this commercial airliners in the nose during its most recent flight, and it had to have been something bigger than eagle, but an elephant can't fly, so ... maybe it was ?God.?
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