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My Favorite New Killer App - Workflowy

Have you tried WorkFlowy? It's one of my favorite new organizational tools. It's very simple and takes literally only a few moments to learn. Basically, it's a cloud-based outline document that is great for organizing to-do lists and other outline-based thoughts. You can even share your list(s) with other users. It's free, too, and if you try it using this link, we both get an extra 50% (250 items per month) in capacity. Here's the link: https://workflowy.com/?ref=14902c26.tw

USC @ Notre Dame 2011: Visiting South Bend

The last Notre Dame game I missed was 8 years ago. I wanted to go to this year's game, but I have kids who can't miss school, and with such a late start in South Bend, it just wasn't going to work out. To stay in Chicago, I'd be looking at a drive back to the city that would last until about 2 a.m., leaving everyone exhausted. To stay in South Bend, we would need to take a very inconvenient set of flights, or fly into Chicago on Friday night and drive into town very, very late or else fly in on Saturday and risk a flight delay that could cause us to miss the game completely. So I'm going to watch it at home on TV. If you're going, here's the situation:

Weather: Today, the weather forecast for Saturday in South Bend is mostly clear with a high of 62° and an overnight low of 42°. There's rain expected today and on Sunday.

Webcams: USC has Tommy Trojan on a webcam. Notre Dame has the golden dome on a webcam, too. Actually, Notre Dame is full of webcams, including the Clark Memorial Fountain, the South Quad, and others.

Tickets: Ducats are more expensive this year. The cheapest seat on Stubhub is $319, and it's a bad seat. The cheapest lower level pair between the goal lines - $1,000.

USC Activities in Chicago and South Bend: The 2011 USC vs. Notre Dame Weekender is headquartered at The Sheraton Chicago Hotel & Towers, 301 East North Water Street, Chicago, IL 60611, (877) 242-2558. The Weekender festivities include a Pep Rally on Friday night and a tailgater on Saturday at 4:00 p.m. on campus.

What to Do On Campus: I've now been to South Bend three times. I read a couple of lists of stuff to do at a Notre Dame home game, and, being a Trojan, I won't want to do them all, but here is a slightly modified list of 25 things visiting fans can do for fun at a Notre Dame game.

1. Go inside the administration building and check out the mural on the inside of the golden dome.
2. Light a candle and say a prayer at the Grotto for Notre Dame to get shut out. It worked last time.
3. Go to Mass in the Sacred Heart Basilica; or at least stop in and reiterate your prayer for a shutout.
4. Buy some stuff at the campus bookstore for your Irish friends and relatives back home.
5. Don a "Kiss Me, I'm Irish" button but expect nothing because you're wearin' the Cardinal & Gold.
6. Watch the team come out after the pregame Mass in the Basilica.
7. Follow the ND band at least part of the way to Notre Dame Stadium.
8. Greet USC coaches and players as their bus rolls in.
9. Take a photo with Touchdown Jesus. For bonus points, use forced perspective and post what you got,.
10. Jump up and give Fair-Catch Corby a high five.
11. Visit the Sports Heritage Hall at the Joyce Center.
12. Sit with Moose Krause outside the Joyce Center.
13. Flash a Victory sign at "No. 1 Moses".
14. Visit Rockne's grave in Highland Cemetery on Portage Avenue. Thank him for a great series.
15. Spend at least an hour at the College Football Hall of Fame. See Knute Rockne's statue. Next time USC comes to South Bend, the Hall will be in Atlanta.
16. Splash your hands in the Stonehenge Fountain (Clarke Memorial).
17. Pose for a photograph with somebody dressed like a leprechaun.
18. Purchase a bootleg t-shirt that has the date of the game printed on it.
19. Greet the statues of Leahy, Parseghian and Holtz outside the stadium.
20. Walk up to the anti-Catholic protesters and ask "You need a ticket? How much you got?"
21. Buy a game program and immediately wrap it in plastic in case it rains or someone dumps their cup on it.
22. Before going to your own seat, walk all the way to the top and take a picture of the stadium.
23. Smuggle in some hard liquor, but not whiskey. Let them Irish drink the whiskey.
24. Snag about 20 souvenir soda cups after the game. They'll clean up just fine.
25. Snap a photo of the final score on the scoreboard, win, lose or draw.

Where to Go, What to Do: If you are here from out of town, here's a little help, from Notre Dame Stadium's website (if you know of one more up-to-date than 2006, let me know):

TICKETS -- Safeguard your tickets, keep them in a secure location - and treat them like cash! Everyone needs a ticket for admission, regardless of age.

TICKET RESALE -- Adhere to the Athletic Ticket Resale Policy. The ticket office actively monitors secondary market sales and enforces this policy. So far this year more than 600 tickets have been revoked and privileges of the owners have been suspended. In fact, 400 of those tickets were caught prior to being sent to the customer. Those tickets were resold to alumni who lost in the lottery. A Ticket Office Resale Violator Tipline is available via email: [email protected]. Please send any suspected violators or information to this address.

TICKET FRAUD -- With high demand for this year's tickets, scams and ticket fraud are on the rise. Be very cautious when buying tickets from any entity other than the University. For more information, refer to the July Ticket Office Fraud and Scam Alert.

PRIDE -- Protect the Notre Dame home-field advantage! Wear Notre Dame colors and do not provide tickets to visiting team fans!

CAMPUS PARKING -- In the last few years there have been significant changes in the campus and surrounding roadway infrastructure due to campus improvements. Arrive early to be assured of a spot so you can gain entrance to the Stadium by kickoff. Many roadways that you may have been accustomed to utilizing are no longer available: Parking Map.

GAMEDAY PARKING - All gameday drive-up parking is located in the White Field (north of campus) which is accessed from Juniper Road via Cleveland road. Do not approach from the south. Do not approach from internal campus.

BUS PARKING -- Bus parking has also been relocated from directly south of Joyce Center to Old Edison Road due to road changes. ALL busses should approach from the south.

JUNIPER ROAD -- Juniper Road between Douglas Road and Angela Blvd./Edison Road is closed permanently to traffic.

RESERVED PARKING -- If you have a reserved parking pass please be sure to follow the directions on the reverse of the pass and follow the directions of parking attendants. Limited reserved parking is still on sale. Please contact the Ticket Office for more information by calling 574-631-7356 Monday through Friday 9:00 am to 5:00 pm EDT. Restrictions apply. You must have purchased tickets directly through the Notre Dame Ticket Office to be eligible to purchase parking. Please call for details. Lots and availability are subject to change.

Please review the links below for more information on football parking, directions and additional information:

Football Parking Information

Directions to Notre Dame

Other:

TIME ZONE -- As of April 2, 2006, the state of Indiana began observing daylight savings. As such, Notre Dame is in the Eastern Time Zone (EDT through last weekend in October, then EST) and will be aligned with the east coast year-round.

SMOKING -- In accordance with a new St. Joseph County ordinance, there will be no smoking in any part of Notre Dame Stadium. Passouts will not be permitted.

POLICIES -- For more information on gameday and stadium policies: click here.

ALCOHOL -- As a reminder, alcohol is prohibited in Notre Dame Stadium.

TAILGATING -- There is no tailgating permitted in parking lots during the football games.

There you have it, your Game Day Guide. Enjoy the festivities.

Stuff To Do Online (Part 63)

I used to do these every Saturday. I haven't done one in a long while. Here's a list of stuff I've seen on the Internets lately.

First, some interesting blogs to read:

Go Fug Yourself is my one "have to read it every day" blog. Priceless.

The best USC sports blog is Scott Wolf's InsideSoCal.

The Don't Hire Deb Frisch Blog.

A Disneyland Archive Blog.

You can take quizzes or tests:

An idiot test.

Quiz yourself about alcohol myths.

What kind of cute animal are you?

100 questions about Office Space.

You can play games:

Conan O'Brien the Barbarian.

State Tetris.

Flow in games.

Escape from Island.

You can see or do strange or interesting stuff:

Kinky landscapes.

Tour the Creationism Museum.

Spot the Pedophile.

The Earth is an Indian, listening to an iPod.

You can learn something new:

Why bugs are still small.

Many of our modern religious beliefs may have been caused by a comet impact.

Ten foods that are hard to digest.

Evolution at work: in just a few short years, Super Lions have been growing on an African island.

You can buy strange or wonderful things:

Who wouldn't want to buy a fake marijuana plant?

Spring water ice cubes, for the rich fool who has everything.

"I Park Like An Idiot" stickers for 50 cents.

A "real" pheromone cologne. You laugh, but how else do you explain Lyle Lovett getting Julia Roberts?

You can wonder what these idiots were thinking:

What urology patient asks for an appointment with Dr. Dick Tapper?

There are conspiracy nuts who think our currency predicted 9/11.

There is still a Flat Earth Society.

Mr. and Mrs. Duff needed a name for their baby: "How about 'Vagina' honey?"

You can puzzle over why these twins were not raised together:

News dude Ken Amaro and Professor Sherman Klump.

Ryan Phillippe and producer Scott Storch.

Chris Farley and this two-year-old girl.

This accused student-screwing teacher and Jan from The Office.

You can check out a place far, far away via web cam:

Juneau, Alaska.

Seattle's Space Needle.

Mendenhall Glacier.

The Norwegian Pearl cruise ship.

Finally, you can read a good bullshit story:

Mother Nature endorses Al Gore for President.

The Christian girl's guide to Spring break abstinence.

Charlie Weis sues cheeseburgers for being delicious.

Microsoft purchases evil from Satan for $2.7 billion.

Enjoy.

Stuff To Do Online (Part 62)

I haven't done one of these in a long time. Various stuff I've seen online since, well, the last time I did one of these:

First, some interesting blogs to read:

Cardinal Martini is another USC blogger. I loved the post about Free Speech Day.

The dude trading up from one paper clip is up to a van that runs.

The Fat Man Walking has lost more than 100 pounds, and dude is within almost 600 miles of NYC.

Achieve It offers you the Caffeine Nap.

You can take quizzes or tests:

Take the Nude Quiz: who was really naked, and who was a poser?

Martin Luther or MLK: Who said what?

Fake or foto?

Porn star or pop star?

You can watch amazing or amusing videos:

The Simpsons opener, in live action.

Security camera catches what I can only assume to be a woman on a cell phone who needs gas.

From the 40-Year-Old Virgin: Two of my favorite actors tackle that question: Are you gay? (P.S. You can like Coldplay and still not be gay!)

I hear David Hasselhoff is quite the star in Europe. Just imagine how big he would be if his music videos did not suck as bad as this one does.

You can play games:

The Turtle Bridge.

Stop that sheep!

The battle of the poop flinging monkeys.

Some sort of McDonald's game.

You can see or do strange or interesting stuff:

Chart a flight.

The best Monopoly cards ever.

The ultimate collection of optical illusions.

A Paris panorama. Mmmm, Paris.

You can learn something new:

Amazing anagrams of famous names.

Amazing but maybe true pizza guy stories.

How did I not notice the actress swap in the Back-to-the-Future movies?

Ten bogus frights that freaked out the world.

You can buy strange or wonderful things:

Ten very strange USB devices.

Amazingly, the starting bid of $100,000 for a bowl of cereal was not met, even though the cereal expired on 9/11.

This backpack looks like a grumpy muppet.

If you bid on this, you are as gay as gay gets.

You can wonder what these idiots were thinking:

Reload this page a few times and eventually, on the list of "restaurants like this" comparable to this $75 a plate Disney resort dinner house, McDonald's will appear.

The best mug shot of the year: the dude with "F*ck You" tattoos where his eyebrows belong.

Nerds who drink are still nerds.

Video footage of a guy who thinks getting concert tickets is better than keeping his nuts out of a mouse trap.

You can puzzle over why these twins were not raised together:

Ashley Simpson and David Lee Roth. hehe

Conan O'Brien and that lady who just won an election to rule Finland or Sweden or whatever.

You can check out a place far, far away via web cam:

Paris, France.

So, how is New Orleans doing these days?

Trafalgar Square, London, England, UK.

You can check out some weird news photos:

Good grief, dude, buy an athletic supporter, so no one has to know you are hung like a mouse.

Moments before this, President Bush apparently told the sacred cow to "lick balls."

Aren't you glad you weren't on this plane?

Finally, you can read a good bullshit story:

The truth behind the legend of the Centaurs.

Who is the Adam Henry who registered [email protected]?

Registrat admits she gets a kick out of f*cking with students.

The opportunistic Muslim Gardener.

It all sounds like bullshit, but if someone took the time to write it down, it has to be true, right?

Stuff To Do Online (Part 61)

Happy New Year's. Here's a list of stuff I've seen late in the year.

First, some interesting blogs to read:

The Wizard of Odds, a college football blog for winners.

According to USC Trojan.

Burnt Orange Nation, an unofficial Longhorns blog.

The Relapsed Catholic.

You can take quizzes or tests:

Do you know your USC football history? (the answer to #9, by the way, is 30. But you'll have to pick either 29 or 31. I tried to tell them....)

Be honest. Are you hot?

Which Rose Bowl game was the best?

Test your knowledge of 2005 news facts.

You can watch amazing or amusing videos:

South African candid camera (banner ads NSFW).

Move.org's commercial about American soldiers stuck in Iraq, which features only British soldiers.

Watch out for the pervert.

Dude thinks he stumbled into a biohazard.

You can play games:

Missile Strike, an awesome update of Missile Command.

At last, another cool monkey game: Monkey Diving.

Type the alphabet. Fast.

Buzz Lightyear's Astro Blaster Online. Play along with people who are actually on the ride at Disneyland.

You can see or do strange or interesting stuff:

Check out the newspaper that thinks a fish bone that looks like a crucifixion is something extraordinary. I've seen hundreds of these things in Mexican cruise ports.

Pass the ball with these helping hands.

Hunt from the comfort of your own computer.

Play Rock, Paper, Saddam, either the original or the sequel.

You can learn something new:

How to reach a live operator at various 800 numbers.

The ten most notorious sports sex scandals.

The nine most underrated inventions in history.

The 20 things every assclown must do before he dies. I've done ## 3, 5 (UCLA v. Nebraska), 7, 9, 11, 17, 20. Just 13 more to go.

You can buy strange or wonderful things:

Like this Detroit Lions fan's loyalty.

Bid on the ever-changing list of available Flying Spaghetti Monster god items.

You could have bought the Christmas lights webcam that fooled the world. Just $167.50.

Purchase at ticket for the 81 night maiden voyage of the Queen Mary 2. Starting at just $21,195.

You can wonder what these idiots were thinking:

How to brand your kids as nerds for life.

What sick mind came up with this idea?

Yo, dog. For shizzle those white peeps can't use black slang until it's at least a year old.

The Smoking Gun's Top 15 Mugshots of 2005. My favorite is Bambi the K-Mart girl, but the buzzcut schlong hairdo was a close second. Number 11 looks like a Scooby-Doo monster.

You can check out a place far, far away via web cam:

Morro Bay. This is pretty close to where I was supposed to be today. It looks pretty stormy.

An Ahwahnee Meadow webcam is back.

The image on this LA Cabcam doesn't change often.

The Shoreline Inn near San Luis Obispo on the California Central Coast.

New Year's Eve Earthcam.

You can listen to the radio in some other city:

KMPC 1540 The Ticket is the USC radio station.

AM1300 The Zone, in Austin Texas is the Longhorn station.

95.8 Capitol FM, London, UK, where we might go next year.

AM 540 WFLA in Orlando, Florida, where we will go next year.

You can check out some weird news photos:

The fish with two mouths.

If you can't afford and toothpick, but you have a bird....

PT Barnum would have hired this girl and called her the Hippo Girl.

There are some people who should not wear Santa hats. Pope Benedict XVI is one of them.

Kirsten Dunst parks where she doesn't belong.

And the best sports photo of the year. Hands down. Bruins down.

Finally, you can read a good bullshit story:

RCIA vows to prosecute people who tell each other about songs.

They might get snubbed by the BCS, but Oregon will get a consolation prize -- autographed Charlie Weis photos.

Who made the Forbes 15 Fictional list of wealthiest persons who aren't real?

Charlie Weis to get further contract extension if Notre Dame leads the Fiesta Bowl at halftime.

Stuff To Do Online (Part 60)

For the first time since September 10, I have a Saturday with no USC football game to watch or attend. So I'm surfing the web. Here is another list of stuff I've seen in the past week few weeks or so.

First, some interesting blogs to read:

I think they cut out Cut It Out.

Faith Gambler is engaged. Congratulations, Reid!

The Horsehater has a blog, and surprisingly, the wife of Prince Charles is not the subject matter.

The People We Love To Hate discusses Ashlee Simpson.

Sarah Space says "Good night, Gracie."

You can take quizzes or tests:

Is it a cleaning product or a superhero?

Can you talk her into leaving with you?

Is it a homeless guy, or is it a guy playing Jesus? (I got a low score.)

The world's shortest personality test. (Hint, to my surprise, it wasn't trivia about Gary Coleman, the world's shortest personality.

You can watch amazing or amusing videos:

Another episode of Unnecessary Censorship.

How has legalized gay marriage ruined Massachesetts.

Plant a tree, and maybe, just maybe, you save someone's life

Free parking for everyone, thanks to the skill of the female driver.

You can play games:

Some Japanese game where you click the mouse really fast and win.

Can you defeat the Spieler?

Simon Advanced.

Kill the Orcs.

You can see or do strange or interesting stuff:

The weather on google maps.

Do you smoke a lot of dope? Smoke some and stare at this for about five minutes.

As winter approaches, here's a little something to remember from the summer.

Download a 3-D calendar.

You can learn something new:

A scientific determination of the ten hottest mainstream movie scenes in which girls kiss.

George Bush's top ten verbal blunders.

What sort of concepts for outrageous advertisements do not get past the censors.

How to make your webcam into an infrared camera.

You can buy strange or wonderful things:

A custom bobblehead God Warrior from Trading Spouses.

"My Pen Is Huge" T-shirts.

A Charlie Brown Christmas tree.

An email address that xbox sellers might like (bought by the same guy who has negative feedback for bidding $1,025 for a photo of xbox, so it might be relisted soon.)

You can wonder what these idiots were thinking:

So, Ricky Martin, what's the last porn you saw? "Well, I really enjoy peeing on, um, persons, yes, persons, with whom I am intimate."

Disgraced FEMA director "Brownie" is starting a disaster preparedness company. Target market: rich people who are stupid.

Top signs you will not be my new roommate.

As USC fans know, guys named Paul Hackett are morons. Here's one running for Senate, complete with the standard family photo, including him holding his boy by the nads.

You can puzzle over why these twins were not raised together:

Disgraced lesbian cheerleader Renee Thomas (left) and Hot Donna from That 70's Show.

Notre Dame QB Brady Quinn and the dude who played dorky Brad on Grounded for Life.

Jamie from Survivor Guatemala and Matt Leinart.

Andy Fletcher of Depeche Mode and Dwight from The Office.

You can check out some weird news photos:

Men will look, even if she's made of sand.

Once proud glacier is down to a thin stream of ice and a lake. Glaciers suck.

Believe it or not, somebody loved this dog.

Who needs heating oil when you can burn mud?

Finally, you can read a good bullshit story:

You don't need a parachute. Strap a bunch of wires to a bunch of turkeys and jump.

Wish you'd thought of it? Man poses as CPR dummy in women's first aid class.

Bush administration locates Hussein's hidden WMVs.

NFL to send all 32 teams to Los Angeles.

It's about time.

Stuff To Do Online (Part 59)

Another list of stuff I've seen in the past week or so.

First, some interesting blogs to read:

So, what interesting people joined the dead this week? The Blog of Death can tell you.

With a tagline like "Where Shall The Multinationals Screw You Today," you can't go wrong.

HeismanPundit is already talking about next year's trophy.

The Irish Trojan has a blasphemous post explaining how Notre Dame and USC could meet in the Fiesta Bowl.

You can take quizzes or tests:

Play Trivial Pursuit.

Could you pass the test to become a British subject?

How much is your blog worth? Mine is worth $19,758.90. Wanna buy it?

Just who are the 99 hottest women on the planet? Hint: Ashlee Simpson was on the 160 woman nomination list, but did crack the top 99. Neither did Nikki Hilton.

You can watch amazing or amusing videos:

Ashlee Simpson -- talented at making an ass of herself whether the crowd is large or small.

A baby boy from India with a boneless tail has thousands of people convinced that he is a god.

Deez ah da pee pool in my neighborhood.

The Penis Mightier and every other great moment from SNL's Celebrity Jeopardy.

You can play games:

Do you miss October already? Play a little Halloween Hangman.

Thump, the racing game.

Eat the Pie in just 15 bites. It took me 16.

The No-Name Game #2 (where you can also play No. 1 as well as the Orphanage Mission).

You can see or do strange or interesting stuff:

Cool illusion: Mr. Angry and Mrs. Calm.

Remember the falling lady? Here's a falling Bush.

Lynx girls. Make them do what you want them to do, like the subservient chicken.

A map of the USA, according to this person's racist aunt.

You can learn something new:

How many of God's creatures did it take to make that coat?

Could it really be true that black athletes are faster than other athletes? I mean, we hadn't noticed.

Do people jumping off the Golden Gate Bridge prefer to face the sea, or the city? This graphic says "The city. Definately the city."

Can you believe in God and still teach your kids about science? Mmmmaybe. Guess which godless ape-descended heathen said this about the Darwinian evolution theory: "A hypothesis asks whether something is true or false. "It is more than a hypothesis because there is proof." If you guessed Pope John Paul II, you're right.

You can buy strange or wonderful things:

Custom painted football figurines, such as Brady Quinn or Reggie Bush.

I want this for Christmas: an Initech coffee mug.

Dozens of bidders are fighting for a silicone 24 week preemie baby doll. That's not weird, right?

And a box of dog hair sold for $3.25, with 6 bidders. I am about to become wealthy.

You can wonder what these idiots were thinking:

To my surprise, you can grow up to be a college professor, even if your name is "Sho Ya Wang."

I'll read anything that starts with "Dear beautiful naked girl:"

Bon Bon Land. I would never in a million years take my kids there.

Did anyone ever buy Halloween costumes this bad? I mean, the leather Village People guy in a six-year-old's size? Please.

You can puzzle over why these twins were not raised together:

Copernicus and actor James Carwell.

Jeff Bagwell and Chuck Norris.

Mel Gibson, 2005 and Saddam Hussein, 2004.

You can check out a place far, far away via web cam:

The Stanford Inn by the Sea, in Mendocino, not Palo Alto.

The Silicon Valley can be seen from the Ham Cam.

South Padre Island, Texas.

Polar Bear Plunge at the San Diego Zoo.

You can check out some weird news photos:

Sure, it's art, but it would creep me right the hell out.

Reason No. 1 why your photographer should be schooled on urban slang.

Now we know why Afghani women cover their faces: because this is as pretty as they get.

Do people actually buy this crap, or is it just for the catwalk?

Attention passengers, unless it rains soon, this boat ain't goin' nowhere.

Now that Mr. Sulu is out of the closet, is Ozzie Guillen next?

Finally, you can read a good bullshit story:

Psst. Hey kid, you wanna try some cereal? Try Junkie Flakes. The first bowl is free.

Charlie Weis gets 10-year deal, payable in ice cream.

There's a nude sheriff in town.

And, if you are Muslim, you must not play soccer like non-Muslims, for they are heretics. In related news, because heretics breath air into their lungs, you must not breath air into your lungs, for to do so is to emulate the heretics and infidels.

At least, I think that last one is a bullshit story.

Stuff To Do Online (Part 58)

Another list of stuff I've seen in the past week or so.

First, some interesting blogs to read:

The libelous claims against large corporations blog.

Oh, yes, a USC football blog.

Cityrags finds the origin of Elijah Wood.

I you can make a blog about Mortgage Law, you can blog about anything.

You can take quizzes or tests:

I am proud to have done poorly on the I (Heart) Huckabee's quiz.

How well do you know your current events?

Take an inkblot personality test.

Do you think you're a baseball expert?

You can watch amazing or amusing videos:

Presidential speechalism.

A cool magic trick involving walking through a plate glass window.

The latest from JibJab: Big Box Mart.

Kanye West and Michael Myers on SNL.

You can play games:

Jedi Trainer.

Parco's Watching, by Court TV.

Mr. Figgles.

Planarity has moved.

You can see or do strange or interesting stuff:

It this dude was a beautiful woman, this page would be much more compelling.

The Museum of E-Failures.

How do beer googles work?

Pick the hottie.

You can learn something new:

The World Trade Center collapse was not a conspiracy after all.

What eye color will your children probably have?

How to be in a shitty new reality show: What If?

What could fake shark skin do for your yacht?

You can buy strange or wonderful things about USC and Notre Dame:

Oh, I want one of these, but they were sold out before I got to South Bend.

This one is cool, too.

For the loser who wants to lie and say he was at the game....

And this one is funny: game day t-shirt, "worn once" by an Irish fan, and he never wants to wear it again.

You can wonder what these idiots were thinking:

Charlotte Church gives advice on being lady-like: "Keep your tits from falling out." Oops.

Say, you know what would be a good hobby? Collecting 10,000 pencils.

This ugly family chronicled their growing ugliness each year and put it online.

How the hell thought anyone would want to see Harry Potter nekked?

You can check out a place far, far away via web cam:

UC Santa Barbara's coffee shop.

Seattle, Washington, as seen from the Space Needle webcam.

The surface of the sun.

For some reason, the last images from the Cancun cam are dated last Thursday.

You can check out some weird news photos:

This isn't how I remember Cancun.

Way too many man breasts in one room.

Matt Leinart's TD against Notre Dame.

Traffic backs up in Pakistan because people refuse to turn around when an earthquake buries their road.

Finally, you can read a good bullshit story:

Release dates for Cheney's book "Fit Like Dick" will be delayed again.

What should you learn from the demons in your head.

Can Sean Hannity actually cause cancer?

Fat cheerleader has to sleep with twice as many football players to maintain popularity.

That last story is so sad, isn't it? I mean, it really makes you feel pity for those players who can't score with the cute skinny cheerleaders.

Stuff To Do Online (Part 57)

Another list of stuff I've seen in the past week or so.

First, some interesting blogs to read:

Aaron has left the GOP. He's not quite ready to become a donkey, though.

Don Nunn came down to my neck of the woods this weekend.

Great political blog" horsesass."

Straight out of the "why didn't I think of that" folder: Shitty Blogs, the blog about other people's shitty blogs.

You can take quizzes or tests:

Test your Arnold IQ.

What is wrong with this scene? (courtesy of telescreen)

Snack or poo? If you don't get at least half of these right, I'd like to have you over for dinner. And you sign a reality show publicity release, too.

How well do you know your blockbuster taglines?

You can watch amazing or amusing videos:

Want a chill up your spine? Watch these little terrorists explain themselves.

Thank God for the bleep button.

Clearly an edited piece, but a slick video of big wave surfing.

Clumsy? Come work for the coroner, 'cause when you drop a dead body off the gurney, nobody gets hurt.

You can play games:

Telescope.

Pantsing, with risk of arrestitude.

Hangaroo.

Get one past the keeper.

You can see or do strange or interesting stuff:

Where to pick apples and stuff. You're running out of time.

Where are they now? And are they hot?

Know your surf spots and their popular names.

What do you get when you cross google maps with questions like "Can I dig a hole to China from here?

You can learn something new:

How to slack off at work.

Twenty things your computer vendor won't tell you.

What does the Ordovican mass extinction have in common with the Hulk? Gamma rays, dude.

How to make your own traffic light changer.

You can buy strange or wonderful things:

False dog testicles.

Avocado green kitchen appliances can still be had.

Like, paying $36 or more for a VIRTUAL hat for Disney's VMK game.

I'm not laughing at this t-shirt.

You can wonder what these idiots were thinking:

Lindsay Lohan needs to learn how to keep her eyes on the damn road.

Say, rather than buy a hat, why don't you grow one?

Like the owners of this business, who didn't notice people were messing with their signage.

If this breakup letter exchange is legit, this is one of the craziest ex-girlfriends out there,

You can check out a place far, far away via web cam:

Tucson, Arizona, the U of A webcam.

New Orleans NOLAcams are back up.

National Geographic's wildlife cam.

Green Bay, Lambeau Field.

You can listen to the radio in some other city:

Jesus radio: K-Love

ESPN Radio 710, Southern California sports talk.

In Atlanta, checkm out 640 AM WGST, Braves Radio (well, next year, anyway)

Houston has AM 950 KPRC.

You can check out some weird news photos:

In the epic battle of python v. alligator, there is no winner. There are only losers.

A 10 story apartment building, toppled by an earthquake.

Hurricane Rita's path looks fairly unfeminine.

Earthquake opens the ground up, for this person to fall into the depths of the Earth.

Finally, you can read a good bullshit story:

The teletubbies weren't gay. They were drug smugglers!

Send them to school wherever, but think about home-churching your kids.

To get the attention other elite receivers get, Marvin Harrison might start acting like a dick.

That hotel key you tossed in the trash at the airport has enough info to let any identity thief take over your life.

It sounds like bullshit, but someone took the time to write it down, so it must be true.

Stuff To Do Online (Part 56)

Another list of stuff I've seen in the past week or so.

First, some interesting blogs to read:

Check out Chokey Chicken, which is done, before it goes down.

I think Matt Leinart blog is done, too.

For today, a good Arizona State football blog.

The thrills and agonies of rooting for tOSU can be read here in Bill's optimistically named Road to the Roses blog.

You can take quizzes or tests:

Will your wish come true?

Forget type A and type B. Are you a Type D?

How gay are you (again)? I'm 13% queer.

What is your blog IQ?

You can watch amazing or amusing videos:

It's awkward when the nearly naked hottie asks for you to help her.

The two biggest dorks ever: Bill Gates and Napoleon Dynamite.

Goblet of Fire, the movie trailer.

The new Depeche Mode video: Precious.

You can play games:

Ball bounce.

The Flying Spaghetti Monsterism game.

Do a little Monkey Diving.

Escape the Maze.

You can see or do strange or interesting stuff:

Worth 1000's photoshop competition.

People pointing at stuff.

Check out the zoomquilt.

We're sure glad NASA shares its best photos on line.

You can learn something new:

How to sponsor a rubber duck for a good cause.

How to prove there is a God.

How to make junk mail pimps pay for wasting your time.

Is the Sports Illustrated cover jinx still alive? Mmmmaybe.

You can buy strange or wonderful things:

Practically anything for a buck in less than a minute.

For good vision.

Who would want to wear a Randy Moss mask? Other than bank robbers, of course.

A piece on a grid to help this one dude make a million bucks,

You can wonder what these idiots were thinking:

Extreme shaving photos. Hot or not?

When you are famous, and you pee yourself, why lift your legs in the air to show us?

First, Mr. Chopp named his kid Dick. Then, years later, Dick Chopp became a urologist. Who was the bigger idiot?

On the one hand, if you rented anal sex toys, you get to keep them, due to health concerns over fecal-borne diseases. On the other hand, if you rented anal sex toys, you are a person who rents anal sex toys.

You can check out a place far, far away via web cam:

Mill Avenue, in Tempe, near the ASU campus.

The Pacific Princess, currently in Australia.

Flagstaff, Arizona.

King's Hall at Aberystwyth in Wales.

You can check out some weird news photos:

Global drying exposes a medieval bridge concealed for centuries by a reservoir.

The Santa Ana wilds feed some pretty big flames.

When I'm the president, I don't plan to ask permission to use the potty.

Oktoberfest always seems to bring out the pretty girls.

Finally, you can read a good bullshit story:

PETA commandos kill 49 to rescue rabbit.

Researchers discover that women who drink heavily are more fun to study than those who don't.

A cloud of planet-dissolving dust is headed for Earth, but relax, we won't all disintigrate until 2014.

Ben Affleck is running for U.S. Senate, possibly.

I sure hope those are all bullshit, especially the last two, just like I hoped those rape and pillaging stories from New Orleans were bullshit. (And they were.)

Stuff To Do Online (Part 55)

Another list of stuff I've seen in the past week or so.

First, some interesting blogs to read:

Live from New Orleans, in the aftermath of Katrina.

Sort of like a common man's fugly, it's Inappropriately Dressed.

CounterTerrorBlog.

Brendan Loy, a Trojan attending law school in South Bend got his 15 minutes of fame when the MSM credited him with "calling" the Katrina tragedy three days ahead of schedule. Check out his interview on MSNBC.

You can take quizzes or tests:

How well have you been paying attention to the news this week?

Could you be a British secret agent?

Do you know Milwaukee? If you said "yes" for me, try to think of a shorter answer.

You can watch amazing or amusing videos:

Jon Stewart tracks President Bush's response to Katrina.

Jon Stewart elaborates on President Bush's response to Katrina.

CNN gets Sterned again.

It's not a horse's head, but I guess it could be scary.

You can play games:

Beer shooter. Aim for the mouth, dude.

Shower Power.

Rocket Bob.

Bug.

You can see or do strange or interesting stuff:

Find your high school yearbook photos on line.

Various shots of action from a high speed camera.

Google maps of the moon.

Google maps added a Katrina overlay, which let me learn that it was Gormley Stadium that I saw in those news photos.

You can learn something new:

Everything you ever wanted to know about Maynard G. Krebs.

The top five movie mistakes of the past year.

When is the next official holiday in California?

Learn U.S. history in this ten minute animation.

You can buy strange or wonderful things:

USC-Notre Dame tickets. A pair for $1,000?

A sealed, but empty Coca-Cola can with some sort of power.

The right to photoshop a cartoon slut into your digital photograph.

Buy the right to have this crazy mother and daughter shave and tattoo your message and other stuff.

You can wonder what these idiots were thinking:

Weird dude's weird baseball card collection.

Did Fergie wet herself on stage?

Sorry, dude, my computer's frozen.

The 25 dumbest public comments about Katrina.

You can check out a place far, far away via web cam:

Churchill Downs.

Snow Summit, Big Bear, California.

Mammoth Hot Springs.

Lambeau Field Cam.

You can check out some weird news photos:

The roof, the roof, the roof is full of dogs.

The beach at Gulfport.

There's a stray squirrel in her cleavage. Where will she put her stray beaver?

Purple gold

Finally, you can read a good bullshit story:

Wow, it's a miracle. Virgin Mary statues survive 29 foot storm surge.

Chinese admit that they can't tell one another apart, either.

Kurt Warner's new endorsement deal with God is loaded with incentives.

Matt Leinart just three co-eds away from scoring with the entire female USC student body.

I guess we should all be grateful that our women aren't USC undergrads.

Stuff To Do Online (54)

Another list of stuff I've seen in the past week or so.

First, some interesting blogs to read:

Ohnotheydidnt tells us about some famous older woman/younger man lovers.

BlaggBlogg has a theory. If your name is Tony, you won't like it.

Monte Solberg blogs from his Blackberry while Parliament is in session.

Cranky Greg wonders why 1,800 dead soldiers draw protests, but 45,000 dead motorists cause no concern.

You can take quizzes or tests:

Does the name belong to a My Little Pony, or a porn star?

How well do you know your pregnancy myths?

You dumb, huh?

What filthy job in the adult entertainment business is best suited for you?

You can watch amazing or amusing videos:

We did this on the way back from several Vegas road trips, but we never thought to videotape it.

Is Murphy gonna have to choke a bitch?

Conan visits an 1864 baseball diamond and talks trash to the hurler.

Richard Simmons on Whose Line is it Anyway? Do not watch while drinking milk.

You can play games:

Twistlingo.

Extreme Racing.

The Hiding Room.

Fly Sui.

You can see or do strange or interesting stuff:

If you like maps.google, you'll love Flash Earth.

Flipbook. Make your own flash animation.

SI offers you some of the scariest sports collisions ever.

This song has scary lyrics.

You can learn something new:

Open office is free, and it might be better than Microsoft Office.

What are the worst foods you can eat?]

Do's and Don'ts for calling in sick to work.

Who are the perverts in your neighborhood, and what are they up to now? Perverted Justice knows.

You can buy strange or wonderful things:

Suicide-proof duds for that prisoner on suicide watch.

Does anyone ever bid on "mystery auctions?"

A digital BAC breath test that fits on your keychain.

This is pathetic: T-shirts that say "Hurricane Katrina 2005 Relief - America's Worst Natural Disaster" Who would wear one of those?

You can wonder what these idiots were thinking:

Like the people who fired a guy for eating leftover office party pizza.

100 nasty names of places in England, like #14, "Cockshoot Close."

Why dogs do not rule the earth.

When you wear a shirt that says "I [heart] Midget Porn], act extra special lawfully that day, or else this will happen.

You can check out a place far, far away via web cam:

Buffalo, NY, where one of my clients was last week (boring this time of year.)

The Boston skyline.

The Miraflores locks in the Panama Canal.

Washington DC, where this guy parked his car outside the ABC 7 news studio. When it's up, the rooftop cam is a better view.

You can listen to the radio in some other city, like Chicago:

Chicago Newsradio 890 WLS.

Radio 720 WGN, the Voice of Chicago.

93.1 XRT Chicago's Finest Rock.

101.9 FM, the Mix.

You can check out some compelling news photos:

Kelly Clarkson, what the hell happened to you?

These are well built homes in Mississippi.

I wouldn't loot here.

Canal Street, now an actual canal.

Finally, you can read a good bullshit story:

Man forced at gunpoint to have sex with 3 women. Yeah, right. Well, maybe they were ugly.

Powerful quake to leave California standing. Rest of America to fall into ocean.

Bush offers Bible drop to save stranded New Orleans residents.

Actual 40-something virgins sue film maker for making them feel uncomfortable.

At least, I hope they are all bullshit....

Stuff To Do Online (53)

Congratulations to my brother in law, who finally found a woman willing to marry him. While we are all off celebrating his good fortune after vows are exchanged tonight, here's another list of stuff I've seen in the past week or so.

First, some interesting blogs to read:

Fafblog explains how to tell if your son is gay.

The Defamer shares its cease and desist letter from Tom Cruise's lawyer.

With the price increases and all, is it becoming glamorous to be a gas guy?

Brendan Loy discussed how Monk Malloy was fooled into making an obscene hand gesture, but to this day, no one will link to the embarrassing picture.

You can watch amazing or amusing videos:

Nobody loves you like your mama loves you, but who's lovin' your mama?

Ever been to a spider fight?

Watch a dude scale the bleachers from the back in about 40 seconds.

Iraqi camel spider v. lizard - the aftermath.

You can play games:

Tommy Gun.

Does This Look Infected? an odd version of Space Invaders.

The Tara Reid drinking game.

Play Trapped in a Virtual Well.

You can see or do strange or interesting stuff:

The fifteen best moments of Pete Carroll's career at USC. Been there, done that.

Somebody just left their boat on the rocks, as the official coastline cameras rolled.

Make your own Weddings Crashers trailer.

Hottie v. Hottie.

You can learn something new:

The 50 people who need a can of whoop-ass.

Are UFOs real? India may tell us soon.

What new religions are catching on?

How to make a powerful pencil gun.

You can buy strange or wonderful things:

Hire a claims adjuster rather than a lawyer, and pay just $20 plus $10 shipping for advice that a lawyer might charge 33.3% for. Buy-it-now on eBay.

It's half purse, half brass knuckles.

Stick an old-fashioned phone headset into your cell phone.

Learn how to win the lotto, just 99 cents. (The author is tired of winning the lotto, so he's selling his secrets to you. Of course, he needs the 99 cents....)

You can wonder what these idiots were thinking:

www.rentmydaughter.com - even as a joke, not funny.

Crying while eating, a website devoted to people who eat and cry at the same time.

The 10 worst black metal photographs ever. And 10 more just as bad.

Smuggling heroin under your wig is not as effective as one might think.

You can check out a place far, far away via web cam:

Bozo beach. It's in Cabarete, Dominican Republic.

Bourbon Street in New Orleans. Hurry and check out the "before" images. It might be gone by Tuesday.

The Panthéon.

Notre Dame Cathedral, Paris.

You can listen to the radio in some other city:

91.7 FM, college radio from the West Virginia U.

Puerto Rican Salsa Radio, Salsoul 98.5

Newstalk KGO in NoCal, where they think Cal will beat USC.

New Orleans talkradio 690 WTIX.

You can check out some weird news photos:

After five straight pantie raids, when the husband anticipates a sixth, you end up looking like this.

This is not two men trying to nose rape a bull, but it looks like it.

An artist's rendering of a future glass walkway over part of the Grand Canyon.

The real explanation for where baby airplanes come from.

The London Zoo exhibits talking monkeys.

Fukufuji.

Just when you thought Ashlee Simpson could embarrass herself no further....

Finally, you can read a good bullshit story:

Rafi Palmiero to be new White House spokeshole.

Evangelical science refutes gravity.

God announces his favorite sports teams. Despite favored status, Notre Dame still sucks.

TSA to loosen restrictions on carrying razorblades and knives on airplanes.

Well, I certainly hope that last one was all bullshit....

Stuff To Do Online (52)

Another list of stuff I've seen in the past week or so.

First, some interesting blogs to read:

Most poker blogs are written by men. Not all.

Big Picture shows some cool sand sculptures.

The OC has a metroblog.

LA has had one for a while. Recently, it blogged about a tank of gas costing $40. Bah. My last tank was more than $60.

You can take quizzes or tests:

What is your Hawaiian name? Mine is Nahele Mauli.

Would the author of this quiz kill you?

How well do you know money?

Which Michael Myers character are you?

You can watch amazing or amusing videos:

This "More Cowbell" thing is getting out of hand. It's going to end up making the Sacramento Kings cool.

The real ABCs of sex education. I think this was meant to be serious.

I guess this is supposed to be funny. Nazi footage set to the sound of the Village People.

George Bush didn't flip off the media, he just clenched his four outer fingers.

You can play games:

A.L.I.A.S. 2

The extreme farm simulator.

Pyoro.

Cloud Nine.

You can see or do strange or interesting stuff:

Have your mind read online.

Talk to a robot.

Make your own virtual fireworks show.

Check your horoscope.

You can learn something new:

Find out where that stupid superstition came from.

A guide to phobias you never knew existed.

The details of the boy affair that made Michael Jackson pay millions to settle.

The tide chart for Honolulu today.

You can buy strange or wonderful things:

Spray-on mud. Why? I don't know why.

A print of the coolest photographs ever taken.

Got GILF? (If someone says you're sick, tell them you got a bargain because they misspelled GOLF)

A Gillie Suit, for guys who want to go in the woods, get mistaken for Bigfoot, and shot.

You can wonder what these idiots were thinking:

More embarrassing than stolen homemade porn: If I had pictures like these, I'd burn them.

For most people, a vasectomy is a very private thing. For this guy....

Some of the sorriest album covers ever.

If you are a model, and you have skid marks on your shorts, you are not hot.

You can check out a place far, far away via web cam:

Mount Washington, in New Hampshire.

Mt. Saint Helens.

Juneau Harbor.

And Mt. Haleakala, on Maui.

You can listen to the radio in some other city:

The Sporting News Radio.

ABC National Radio.

Cool 96.9 FM, Nigeria.

WLS Newstalk 890, Chicago.

You can check out some weird news photos:

This isn't really news, but it was new to me: "This is gonna hurt."

English rednecks catch the largest female freshwater fish ever in Britain.

Mr. Afghanistan builds so much muscle, there's no room left for his twig and berries.

Finally, you can read a good bullshit story:

Tourettesguy.com, which features a dude who clearly does not suffer from Tourette's Syndrome.

Rafael Palmiero urges little-leaguers to use clean needles for their steroids.

White House denies existence of Karl Rove.

Mathematics "proves" that Christ was resurrected by God.

I didn't write any of those. Every word I ever type is 100% true and unmisleading.

Stuff To Do Online (51)

Trying to find fun stuff to do is easier than ever, both in cyberspace and in the real world. I'm planning a weekend trip to Chicago to see the USC - Notre Dame game in two months, and I'm trying to figure out what to do Saturday night and Sunday. So far, it looks like Navy Pier is the place to be on Saturday night. For Sunday, we're still trying to decide. I've considered and ruled out the Smith Museum of Stained Glass Windows, which, when it debuted in 2000, was the first museum in the United States dedicated solely to stained glass windows. Imagine that. And to think that my hometown still doesn't have a museum dedicated solely to stained glass windows. We are so bass-ackwards.

Anyhow, here's another list of stuff I've seen online in the past week or so.

First, some interesting blogs to read:

Fugly notes a certain poignancy in this shot of Charo and Pam Anderson.

Faithgambler shares the 10 reasons he doesn't pray, when he doesn't pray.

Blogspot still hasn't taken down the Fifth Nail yet, and its last entry is up to 1209 comments.

Ken Lammers on the things female judges can say that a male judge never could.

You can take quizzes or tests:

Whose fish is it?

Car stories: fact or fiction?

Are you gay?

Girl, what should they have named you?

You can watch amazing or amusing videos:

The trailer for Grizzly Man, that dude who got eaten by bears.

His mom's crazier than your mom. But she's not crazier than this one dude's mom I know.

It's a bank, so the vault contents must be yummy, right?

I have no idea who thought it would be a good idea to videotape this, but the result is undoubtedly not the last thing you want to see before going to bed for the night.

You can play games:

Don't get caught ogling.

Kick some tail in Dad n Me.

A new way for curling to suck: Brown Cow Curling.

Find the four leaf clovers, all seven, in 360 seconds. I only found 6.

You can see or do strange or interesting stuff:

Fun with trebuckets.

Google allegedly says, in response to "Paris Hilton Isn't a Whore", Did you mean "Paris Hilton Is a Whore?

Some spot in Africa shown on Google Maps looks like Jesus, or a papoose, or some sand.

If Superman has a pussy, it would look like this. (SFW)

You can learn something new:

There are dozens of Star Wars stories. And they are all listed here.

Twenty things you didn't know your PC could do. (I knew 5, 9 and 20 already.)

Planting too many trees can help create a desert where none existed before.

The ten best places in the world to see wildlife. No. 8: The United States.

You can buy strange or wonderful things:

For that suffering Bruin fan in the family: newspaper front pages featuring USC football.

I want one of these for the uninal at work.

Buy your Harry Potter spoiler t-shirt now before everyone gets to page 596.

Replacement parts for your broken piece of crap pda.

You can wonder what these idiots were thinking:

After 11 wives and 77 children consumed his assets, man concludes that polygamy is no fun.

With some bonsais and a few Hot Wheels, you can be the god of your own little crash-happy world.

If bumps on the forehead were hot, then I was a hot little dude every few little league games.

I wasn't huffing gold paint, officers, I just have a naturally sparkly face and congenitally slurred speech.

You can check out a place far, far away via web cam:

Here's the aforementioned Navy Pier.

Here's where we'd rather be right now: Maui.

Harold's burger stand in the Swiss Alps.

McKinley Park, Alaska.

You can check out some weird news photos:

Joseph Duncan's teenage mug shot.

A Martian ice-skating rink.

That kid who jumped from the upper deck at Yankee Stadium.

It's not The Great Pumpkin, but it's a pretty great pumpkin.

Glowing neon fish. Yum.

What a Mexican border jumper looks after three weeks in the desert.

Check out this monkey. I'll bet George Bush couldn't do it this well.

A textbook example of how and why to box out on rebounds.

Finally, you can read a good bullshit story:

The caramel solution for baldness.

John Gotti, Jr. regrets his choice to engage in certain unspecified conduct.

Gitmo inmate to appear in Letterman Stupid Human Tricks skit.

American high schools not adequately preparing dropouts for unemployment.

It all sounds like bullshit, but if someone took the time to write it down, it has to be true, right?

Stuff To Do Online (50)

Another list -- my 50th -- of stuff I've seen in the past week or so.

First, some interesting blogs to read:

Thomas Hawk tells how he got hassled for taking a photo of a building.

Here's a new favorite: My Indie World, spectacularly out of touch with pop music.

Early nominee for the oddest serious theme for a blog: The Restroom Blog.

Another lawyer blog I sometimes read: Lex Communis.

You can take quizzes or tests:

Is your faith honest? Take the Battleground God quiz.

Can you spot the subliminal elements in these print ads?

Here's a small and easy crossword puzzle.

Are you the annoying office worker?

You can watch amazing or amusing videos:

Ali G interviews Beckham and that Spice Girl he married, and calls it like he sees it.

PSA: Don't rip off a cop at the drive-thru and then give him crap.

PSA: Legally, the cop can't beat your ass for a middle finger. But in the real world....

PSA: It's not the penis pills that kill you, it's what the penis pills inspire you to do.

And I've done another edit to my USC Football 2004 "Lose Yourself" slideshow.

You can play games:

Let's start slow: a little frog baseball, with no real rules or objectives.

My favorite of the week: Stackopolis.

Diffuse the bomb.

Finally, kill, kill, kill those wicked terrorists.

You can see or do strange or interesting stuff:

Translate phrases from one language to another without ever cracking a book.

Do you hate your boss? If so, this do this on your next 10 minute paid break and think to yourself, "wow, they're paying me to this."

Some more of those "what did they look like as kids" celebrity photos.

Chicks who hit the weights too hard after borrowing Barry Bonds's "clear". (No. 2 is, I think, a man, and No. 3 looks ready to be burned at the stake.)

You can learn something new:

How to become a multi-billionaire without really trying.

WiFi in the courtroom and google maps can help you beat your traffic ticket.

The Rules of Wedding Crashing. (I used to do this back when it was unfashionable to do so.)

What are the ten biggest fads of the internets? #1 was the Hampsterdance, #2....

You can buy strange or wonderful things:

I wonder if anyone has bought this Origami Boulder.

Can't you just picture Ann Coulter in a "Republicans for Voldemort" babydoll shirt?

The Hooter Shooter (NSFW)

Functional man jewelry. It's a ring. It's a bottle opener. It's a "Ring Thing."

You can sit and wonder what these people were thinking:

The Japanese Metro needs a new graphic design artist.

This person covered her face in meat and called it art.

I had no idea NYC had this many naked people.

So 23 hookers were busted in Daytona Beach, and some of their photos are on the web. The question I must ask is: was this their first time? Have any of them actually earned money selling that ass? Because I wouldn't have done them for free when I was drunk, single and horny.

You can check out a place far, far away via web cam:

Spring Creek Ranch, within sight of the Grand Tetons.

Some internet cafe in Krapkowice. (hehe "Krapkowice".)

Check the traffic and weather in Utah this morning.

The New Jersey beach shore.

You can listen to the radio in some other city:

Hawaiian music from Oahu's Breeze of Hawaii 99.5 FM

Here's a weird one: Haunted Mansion Radio.

Radio Cayman.

I can't understand a thing they say on Radio Kuwait.

You can check out some weird news photos:

This monkey is a better golfer than I am.

These dogs look like monkeys.

Ghazala Gardens before and after.

And from the old news files, Disneyland, 1955 opening photos.

Finally, you can read a good bullshit story:

Scientists discover that gay children hate playing Smear the Queer.

Suicide bomber tragically killed by car bomb before reaching his destination.

College kids are now hosting "Rainbow Parties" where each girl wears a different color of lipstick, and each guy tries to emerge looking like a roll of Lifesavers fruit chews....

If that last story disgusted you, take heart: because the sleeping Jesus statue has miraculously become the winking Jesus statue.

It all sounds like bullshit, but if someone took the time to write it down, it has to be true, right?

Stuff To Do Online (49)

Anyhow, so here's another list of stuff I've seen in the past two weeks or so.

First, some interesting blogs to read:

Public Defendant Dude illustrates an absurd battle and casualty in the "war" on drugs.

Idontlikeyouinthatway shows Lindsay Lohan sucking face with Pamela Anderson.

Winds of Change notices that the one unifying trait among bloggers is that they are anti-idiot.

The Daily Kos points out that guns don't kill people, people kill people. And P2P networks don't violate copyrights, people violate ... er, um, Grokster violates copyrights.

You can take quizzes or tests:

How hippie are you? (I'm just 14% hippie).

Take the Joysey Guido test.

Do you have cajones?

What is your pleasure measure?

You can watch amazing or amusing videos:

Weird Al interviews Eminem.

If you don't have kids to show those scary popup ghoul websites, live vicariously through this mean dad.

More unnecessary censorship.

If it's sunny outside, wait a few hours before watching this creepy video.

You can play games:

Find the landmark on Google Maps.

Catch 33.

One more level.

Kill the evil care bears.

You can see or do strange or interesting stuff:

Where do cartoons go once they are no longer politically correct?

Dude surfed a wave for several miles.

Suppose WWII was an RTS....

Fat Man Walking.

You can learn something new:

What to do once you know the nukes will be falling.

A list of 20 things that only happen in the movies.

The 10 favorite downloads in the history of the internets.

The Steve Jobs Stanford commencement address. Stay foolish.

You can buy strange or wonderful things:

If you have a Palm LifeDrive, you should buy this.

Bid on eBay for the right to identify this woman's disgusting tumor on her head.

A full bag of Lucky Charms, without all those gross Cheerios-looking parts. Just $102.50.

Buy this flangello and impress your friends.

You can sit and wonder what these people were thinking:

Kid brags about his experimental XBox360, and backs it up. Now he learns about NDAs.

Hot or Not meets Google Maps.

The worst logo since Arlington Pediatric. Or this one.

America's Sacred Road Stops, such as the unfinished replica of Noah's Ark.

You can check out a place far, far away via web cam:

Waikiki. Mmmm, Waikiki. Maybe I won't go to NYC after all.

A moving target, the MS Dawn. Keep an eye out for 70 ft. waves.

Gatorland, USA.

The Barrow, Alaska sea ice cam.

You can listen to the radio in some other city:

Georgia Indie Rock.

Radio Scotland Live.

Radio Free Chechnya.

Funradio, France.

You can check out some weird news photos:

So this dude is laying in a hurricane shelter, minding his own business, with his hands down his shorts, when the AP photographer happens past.

Sandboy.

And the tennis player who looks like one of the Gorillaz.

The unfortunate bird in the way of a space shuttle.

And the almost as unfortunate diver who smacked her dome on the board while the cameras were clicking.

And the poor guy who got sodomized by a bull's horn right through the pants.

Finally, you can read a good bullshit story:

The noises Maria Sharapova makes on the toilet put those Wimbledon grunts to shame.

A little boy fought in WWII, sixty years ago, in a previous life, of course.

Grown woman suddenly grows a penis.

And finally, pick a link, any link, to see what the crazies think "really" happened in London.

If you believe any of this, you are frighteningly not alone.

Stuff To Do Online (48)

Another list of stuff I saw last week, before I went on the Disney cruise to Mexico.

First, some interesting blogs to read:

The Employment Law Blog, by a guy who looks like Jimmy the Grunt, from the Practice.

Life, Poker and the Pursuit of Happiness.

Where The Hell Was I? I like the About page.

This week, Myopic Zeal had a great post about Brian Williams and his comparison between the Founding Fathers and the terrorists.

You can watch amazing or amusing videos:

The Daily Show discusses cable news shows about blogs.

The seal hunt like you've never seen it.

Watch a tornado form and take off.

Dane Cook does a Tom Cruise impression.

You can play games:

Can you torque the Tork?

Nevashut.

Cube.

Bonk's Adventure.

You can see or do strange or interesting stuff:

The falling girl and the balls.

Cool Coincidences, the website devoted to, um, cool coincidences.

The lamest thing I've seen since Zombo.com.

Google sightseeing is fun.

You can learn something new:

You've heard the rumor that Tom Cruise is queer. Did you hear the one about Rob Thomas and Tom Cruise?

Find out how to be on TV or at least sit in the studio audience.

You know you're from Key West when....

USC had 35 athletes in the 2004 Olympics. That's more than some nations fielded.

You can buy strange or wonderful things:

Buy a monitor from a naked guy with a digital camera.

Who wouldn't want a can of warm plussy?

Buy the rear view mirror of tomorrow.

First diapers, then paper plates, then disposable cameras, now, disposable camcorders.

You can sit and wonder what these people were thinking:

A Craig's List entry: Merry Christmas to his wife.

A photographic list of possible entrances to Hell.

So, dude, he like, called 867-5309 in every area code. Supposedly, he taped 'em all.

You might not know how to block mind-piercing microwave signals. That's okay. He can show you.

You can check out a place far, far away via web cam:

Surfside Beach, South Carolina.

Catalina Island, 26 miles across the sea.

The traffic in Manhattan.

The fastest way to get straight outta Compton is from the Compton Airport.

You can listen to the radio in some other city:

DWNU 107.5 FM, Philipines.

Have I done this already? KFI AM 640 in Los Angeles.

Radio Singapore's English International radio.

KZSU, the leland stanford Junior University radio station.

You can check out some weird news photos:

Vince Vaughn picks up where Brad Pitt left off.

A ferry driver finds out too late that boats do not have brakes.

The London bus ripped to shreds.

See the clever lady protester and her anti-George Bush sign. And people wonder why the left does not persuade ordinary voters....

Finally, you can read a good bullshit story:

How to score Ann Coulter.

British youths to participate in exchange program with Iraqi insurgents. What could go wrong?

It wasn't cheap, but Microsoft bought evil from Satan, and now owns it outright.

Bush needs more human intelligence.

  That last one might be true.

Stuff To Do Online (47)

Another list of stuff I've seen in the past week or so.

First, some interesting blogs to read:

Malls of America, a look at those malls we hung out in way back when.

Blog Carnival. Not to be confused with last week's Carnival Cruise blog.

A quick read: Gulfstream.

The PopeBlog.

You can take quizzes or tests:

The Beauty Quiz. After a few seconds of wondering, you'll realize it's one of those, you know...

Who would you have been in 1400?

What slanguage do you speak? (I speak zero Aussie slang)

My wife will dig this one: what fluttering fairy are you? (With Amy Brown pics)

You can watch amazing or amusing videos:

How to get over a nasty breakup.

Malaysia has bad Malaysian Idol auditions, just like America.

The new and improved Space Mountain should be open any time now. Here's the old version.

Probably a hoax, but if not, this guy needs anger management therapy now.

You can play games:

A great time waster: Gold Miner.

The game is called Fulfillment, and it's good, but not that good.

Not pron. One of those "get past each html page" deals.

Russian Affairs. If only Maria Sharapova was in it.

You can see or do strange or interesting stuff:

Like checking out your alcohoroscope.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was exercising poor judgment.

Track that dollar bill in your wallet.

Download prank software on your roommate's laptop.

You can learn something new:

The 40 things every proper drunkard should do before he dies.

The 125 questions we still haven't quite answered.

The 25 most revolutionary athletes in U.S. history.

Lots of great tips on photography.

You can buy strange or wonderful things:

Baconaids.

U. Conn's varsity football playbook.

A vacation in this redneck's parker trailer.

You're not really homeless if you live in this ball.

You can sit and wonder what these people were thinking:

A page devoted to stuff he's pushed through toast. Luckily, it does not get sexual.

Disneyland freaks out because a guy who is showing people around Disneyland.

Want some tarantula in your protein shake?

Another eBay modeling disaster.

You can puzzle over why these twins were not raised together:

Portland's Sebastian Telfair and poker pro Phil Ivey.

Actor/boxer Tex Cobb and actor John C. Reilly.

Dustin Diamond (Screech) and Patrick Dempsey. sort of.

You can check out some cool places in the distance via webcam:

San Pedro, California.

Puerto Vallarta.

Mazatlan.

Cabo San Lucas.

And, if the power stays on, Duvall Street in Key West.

You can listen to the radio in some other city:

LBC AM 1152 London Newsradio.

Z104.1 Washington's modern music.

Itapúa 102.5 FM, Paraguay's tropical music station.

Zoo Radio, Greek Top 40.

You can check out some weird news photos:

Flickr photos of London on 7/7.

We know which of The Twelve Apostles was Judas.

Did you know you can climb on Stonehenge?

Shasta Groene in a store with her abductor.

When comets and probes collide, it looks like this.

Finally, you can read a good bullshit story:

MSNBC bestows the title of "The White Ho" on Norah O'Donnell.

Housewife Charged In Sex-For-Security Scam.

Toronto Raptors select a Lebron James sperm sample with 4th pick in NBA draft.

The ACLU is stepping in to defend a reporter who learned the secret identity and address of the President.

Bon voyage.

Stuff To Do Online (46)

Face it. You can't drink beer and eat hot dogs and shoot fireworks all day. You have to at least check your email once or twice, right? Here are some links to help you goof off while you do.

First, some interesting blogs to read:

Lindsay Lohan's emaciation proclamation.

RetroGirl Tina Bacon has just created her 36th or 45th blog, or thereabouts.

Waxy.

Steve Silver lists the best movie settings from each state.

You can take quizzes or tests:

Are you screwed?

How sinful are you?

Can you tell the "O" face from other faces?

How well were you paying attention this week?

You can watch amazing or amusing videos:

Blind Date sets a guy up with a crack whore.

Dertien, dertien, dertien....

This cannot be real, but it looks fun to me, as I scope out the tiny chop in O'Side.

The Spanish know how to deal with hostage takers. First, you give them that motorcycle they demanded. Then....

You can play games:

Not a great game, but can you avoid yawning?

Sherlock's crime scene game.

In this game, you are the pink bear, you sick bastard.

Kung-Fu.

You can see or do strange or interesting stuff:

Airless tires, coming soon from Michelin.

Rotated website.

Go sightseeing with Google Maps.

There is a point to this. I didn't get it.

You can learn something new:

Track the hurricanes from last season and find out what they expect in 2005.

How to get upgraded to first class.

You know you're a pothead when....

Wacky Uses - the list of common products and their "other" uses.

You can buy strange or wonderful things:

All those people travel this week, and next week, NTSA will be all over eBay.

In a crowd this weekend, you might want this special glass to avoid GHB droppers.

A shirt that boasts of your charitable giving, to, you know, Charity.

For my neighbors at the beach, a shirt that says "It's not a crack house. It's a crack home."

You can sit and wonder what these people were thinking:

Peep research. For cryin' out loud people, just eat those buggers.

Someone spent a long time making this custom Michael Jackson costume.

Another person spent a long time creating the prime number sh!tting bear.

This is the place for you, if you are one of those people who sit around wondering, "What would Pat Sajak think about these important political issues?"

You can join Americans at some top western travel destinations for the 4th:

The beach at San Diego.

San Francisco.

The Colorado River.

The Vegas strip.

and Hawaii.

You can listen to the radio in some other city:

Radio 2GB, Sydney's #1 radio station.

91.1 FM WSMU, New England's alternative to commercial radio.

Miami's 103.5 The Beat.

630 CHED in Edmonton.

You can check out some weird news photos:

Blood in the streets of NYC on 9-11.

The CHP's new bad ass ride.

I once caught a fish this big.

This is a world record for the highest formal dinner party. Not counting Courtney Love's basement parties.

Finally, you can read a good bullshit story:

Sweden legalizes looking up skirts.

Gay flag burning amendment appears ready for passage.

Vatican tightens nocturnal emissions standards.

Charles Lindbergh to be new spokesman for Viagra.

Oh, and Happy Independence Day from the Trojans. I don't know what the hat and shirt are all about, though.

Stuff To Do Online (45)

Another list of stuff I've seen in the past week or so.

First, some interesting blogs to read:

RegretTheError points out news editors' mistakes.

A travel agent learns the power of the blog with the Carnival Cruise Blog.

Ideoblog explains how lawyers can profit by short selling companies they sue.

Dead Pr0grammer's Cafe explains the once-naughty Starbucks logo.

Tigger's daughter, April Winchell, explains what a bastard Tigger was.

You can take quizzes or tests:

Star Wars Character or hip-hop artist?

Take the virtual HIV test.

How gay are you, dude?

Are you a Republican? (If you are, we won't tell.)

You can watch amazing or amusing videos:

A Family Guy clip: Peter finds out he's retarded.

Everyone out of the pool. The lifeguard's taking a potty break.

Diplomacy!

She kicked ma dog, you f*cking guy!

You can play games:

The Wal-Mart game.

Ultimate Billiards.

The Python Challenge.

Play Shift.

You can see or do strange or interesting stuff:

Asimo the Robot.

I don't even know what this is, but it amuses me.

You can do anything at zombo.com

Photo evidence of ownage. 443 of them.

You can learn something new:

How to crack the Best of Craigslist.

Take back your vacation.

What does Winnie from the Wonder Years look like now?

Archive.org, which has lots of lots of stuff.

You can buy strange or wonderful things:

Buy poop to ship to your "friends."

Buy custom-made action figures.

Buy a paper model of Disney's Haunted Mansion.

I hope you never need this device to "bite" the rapist as he commits his crime.

You can sit and wonder what these people were thinking:

No, it isn't normal. You are a freak.

The liberal lexicon? What the hell is that?

Someone obsesses over celebrities and their pie holes.

Some English guy tells us why our English isn't even English.

You can check out a place far, far away via web cam:

A German school in Shanghai.

A sailing club in San Francisco.

A sushi bar in Toyko.

The 9th green at Clearcrest Pines Golf Course in Evansville, Indiana.

You can listen to the radio in some other city:

KIRO 710 AM newsradio in Seattle.

Here in SoCal, it's KABC talkradio, AM 790.

Rai Klassik, Italy.

The Voice in Denmark,

You can check out some weird news photos:

Giant Lakers in goggles watch motocross outside Staples Center.

See a killer shark just a few yards offshore.

A Stanford doesn't guarantee that you'll leave knowing how to dress yourself.

Severely burned dude keeps wife, settles with Weekly World News over "top 10 ugliest people" story.

Finally, you can read a good bullshit story:

College students paying their tuition with compulsive gambling.

There are certain songs that will make you turn gay. Find out before it's too late.

Future news story: Economy given big boost by Ramadan shopping season.

Parents of missing kid busted for claiming their kid was blonde and perky to enhance media coverage.

That last was close enough to being true that it's almost worth reading.

Stuff To Do Online (44)

Another list of stuff I've seen in the past week or so.

First, some interesting blogs to read:

The Tax Professor points out that the tax system has never been better for the lowest income taxpayers Americans.

Something Awful offers jokes with realistic punchlines (claiming no authorship).

Alex Blagg offers the five films he wishes you would stop quoting. (Sorry, Alex, but Office Space is too irresistible.)

And the Legal Underground shares a Court of Appeal decision that cites Schoolhouse Rock's "I'm Just a Bill" as a point of reference.

You can take quizzes or tests:

Parents Magazine offers a survey that ends quickly if you say no.

How well do you know your NBA History? (Average score: 6/15. My score: 13/15 -- missing 7 and 12)

The Father's Day twins quiz.

The Commonly Confused Words quiz. I scored an English Genius You scored 100% Beginner, 100% Intermediate, 100% Advanced, and 86% Expert! You did so extremely well, even I can't find a word to describe your excellence! You have the uncommon intelligence necessary to understand things that most people don't. You have an extensive vocabulary, and you're not afraid to use it properly!

You can watch amazing or amusing videos:

This crazy lady and her vagina-biting dog is hilarious.

Short clip of runner jumping a creek (with NSFW banner ads). Check out the reaction of the runner behind him.

There's no crying in baseball, but there is cowardice.

Tonya Harding thanks her fans for coming to tonyaharding.com. I hope I'm one of just a few people who've ever seen it.

You can play games:

Challenge Vader in a game of 20 questions.

The Batman Cobblebot Caper.

A little time-waster: Volcano Jump.

Kids, don't shoot yourself with a Glock like this. And now we're going to show you an AK-47.

You can see or do strange or interesting stuff:

The Schoolhouse Rock court decision referenced above.

A collection of final words from the cockpit of doomed planes.

Ask Tom Cruise a question. Any question, you jerk.

Some artist has mixed photos of adults with their photos as kids for an interesting effect.

You can learn something new:

Candidates for a new list of ancient and modern wonders, with links.

If you want "spiritual assistance" from the "Church" of Scientology, you have to sign a release of liability.

So, who are the Trojans recruiting from the Class of 2006?

An American-English/English-English translation quide, e.g., a cigarette and a pork and liver meatball would be a fag and a faggot in England.

You can bid on strange things (until eBay shuts the listing down):

The "Jesus on this piece of food" craze might be slowing down, thank, um, this piece of food.

Folks, don't miss out. These are ACTUAL GRASS CLIPPINGS FROM THE GRASSY KNOLL, says the seller.

The french fry that cost this dude $2,000 sold for $51.

So the seller suffers a broken ankle while having sex and now expects GoldenPalace.com to pay a fortune for the hardware that the doctors put inside the ankle while it healed.

You can sit and wonder what these people were thinking:

Some people really want to be amputees.

Some dude implanted an RFID in his hand.

Brutally honest personal ads.

(NSFW) "I will write anything on my boobs for free."

You can puzzle over why these twins were not raised together:

Pope Benedict XVI and Israeli Prime Minister Ariel Sharon.

Israeli Prime Minister Ariel Sharon and Mel Brooks.

Former Bee Gee Robin Gibbs and Mr. Burns.

You can check out a place far, far away via web cam:

Lakeside at Lake of the Ozarks.

Niagara Falls (click the webcam link, of course).

The hills of Snowden, Wales.

I can't read the website, but it's some mountain in Switzerland called Mittelallalin in Saas Fee.

You can listen to the radio in some other city:

Radio Live, with news, weather and sports from New Zealand (free registration).

N-Joy, German Top 40.

NileRadio 104.2 FM, pop music from Egypt, in English.

Taal FM, Indian music from Mauritius.

You can check out some weird news photos:

The Goodyear Blimp crash.

Dancing water monkeys.

A brick wall urinates on a child.

Sheffield grabs Jeter's ass.

Finally, you can read a good bullshit story:

Noah rounded up exotic animals by riding flying dinosaurs.

Serena's penis tape comes off. Oops!

Fat dude has small moons orbiting him.

And in light of this week's Supreme Court decision, Chinese developers to use eminent domain to acquire White House and build a hotel-casino.

I wish the Supreme Court decision part was bullshit, but it really happened.

Stuff To Do Online (43)

Another list of stuff I've seen in the past week or so.

First, some interesting blogs to read:

Bizarre Bids - the place to find weird eBay auctions and other strange sales, eg., a Washington license plate that says "F Dubya".

Guiness and Poker, the blog of a guy who likes Guiness and poker.

Your PI News - the blog for private investigators.

Just Jared - the ultimate blogloid.

You can watch amazing or amusing videos:

The second funniest thing I've seen this month: Triumph the Comic Insult Dog at the Michael Jackson trial.

I can't quite tell if this is mean or cool: retarded guy getting his dance on at Spring Break.

The wrong spokesperson can blow your whole ad campaign.

This is the funniest thing I've seen this month: unnecessary censorship.

You can play games:

Kill some, uh, time, on Dynasty Street.

Poom

Crunchtime - kill the office zombies.

Escape the room.

You can see or do strange or interesting stuff:

Like vote on whether Brian Pepper is hot or not.

Some dude shares the time he nearly sliced his finger clean off.

The History of the Shuar headhunting tribe.

Photographic evidence that ghosts exist.

You can learn something new:

National Geographic's Atlas of the Human Journey.

TSA PSA: what you can take, and what happens if you take that other stuff.

The 46 best freeware utilities out there.

Dan Marino was a close associate of Sammy "the Bull" Gravano.

You can buy strange or wonderful things:

Hotspot bloom, the fashion accessory that lights up in a wifi hotspot.

Wait a minute, you mean that lucky Michael Moore pokerface mask is only $3.25? I'll take 10.

Bunghole bleach. I don't want to know why.

Tiretagz - they light up your wheels with designs or messages. I will buy when they come out with "Learn to drive, asshole."

You can sit and wonder what these people were thinking:

The time traveler convention is over. Other than no time travelers showing up from the future, it was a big success.

There have been people in Orlando who paid money to have sex with these people.

Buffo, the creepiest clown since they put John Wayne Gacy down.

Urinal Slide: Maybe this should be in the video section, but seriously, what was this guy thinking?

Separated at birth:

This meth freak and her dignity.

Klansman Edgar Ray Killen and Mr. Six, the old Six Flags dude.

Mr. Six and Uncle Junior Soprano.

You can check out a place far, far away via web cam:

Grenada - the Spice Isle that Reagan liberated.

See the weather on the hills of Bermuda.

Even late at night, check out the sunlight in Anchorage, Alaska.

Kruger National Park in South Africa. I can watch the sun rise there when I go to bed here.

You can listen to the radio in some other city, from the NW to the SE:

Seattle's Quality Rock Station, 103.7 KMTT, The Mountain.

Seattle's KJR AM 950 sports talk.

Tampa's 620 WDAE The Sports Animal.

Miami's 103.5 FM, the Beat.

You can check out some weird news photos:

Fat baby in a pink hat.

In Iran, wear white to stand out.

I hate mice, but I would hate water rats even more.

Someone steps on a terrorists Koran and Muslims half a word away freak out, but do this to a car in Iraq and nobody cares.

Finally, you can read a good bullshit story:

Decades of work culminates in scientists publishing list of everything that can go wrong.

Real Life Death Match "Not as Fun" as Teens Hoped.

Payroll firm hires paintballer to discourage cubicle prairie-dogging.

Parents panic over kids' rainbow coloring assignment because it'll make 'em gay.

So, if you ever colored a rainbow as a kid, you might have some issues to sort out with your therapist.

Stuff To Do Online (42)

Another list of stuff I've seen in the past week or so.

First, some interesting blogs to read:

The blog where people send postcards that reveal their darkest secrets.

The NBA blog squad. There are many.

The Defamer.

Jeremy's weblog, including Yoda's 20 pieces of law school advice.

You can watch amazing or amusing videos:

Arnold's new movie preview.

The preview for The Da Vinci Code.

The SNL commercial for Mom Jeans.

Jimmy Kimmel interviews Eminem the way Barbara Walters would.

You can play games:

Image puzzle.

Speed - what's your reaction time?

Play the Negotiator.

Bounce the balls off your head.

You can see or do strange or interesting stuff:

The coolest rollercoaster yet invented.

The green invisible moving dot.

What harm can that little spider cause?

See George Bush's ranch.

You can learn something new:

Pack for any trip with just one bag.

What are the most expensive zip codes in the U.S.?

How old are you in days, minutes, seconds? (I am over a billion seconds old.)

Does Tom Cruise believe that a 75 million year old alien is responsible for human life on Earth as we know it?

You can buy strange or wonderful things:

I want this cool spy camera.

Think Geek - geeky gifts for Dad?

Custom signs and plaques.

Forget-me-not panties.

You can sit and wonder what these people were thinking:

Extreme kidnapping. The weirdest in reality entertainment.

Your office, too, could use an arch made of old computer monitors.

Check out the flickr photos of sad people at Disneyland.

Some guy thinks the U.S. Army planned the WTC attacks in 1976.

You can puzzle over why these twins were not raised together:

Sex offender Brian Peppers and an Incan mummy.

E.T. and Mary Kate, or Ashley. I can never get those two straight.

You can check out a place far, far away via web cam:

Grayton Beach, Florida.

Experience the boredom of Little Rock, Arkansas.

Keystone, Colorado.

Haleakala Volcano in Maui.

You can listen to the radio in some other city:

Corks 96 FM Ireland.

WBAP news talk 820, Texas.

WSM AM, Nashville.

Radio Sheffield.

You can check out some weird news photos:

An Orangutan that wants to be Buddha.

The last time I saw nekked cyclists, I was at Black's Beach.

Mike Tyson gets his ass beat by an Irishman.

Some girl practically beating to have Bill Clinton call her a piece of ass.

Finally, you can read a good bullshit story:

Internet argument leaves two dead.

Is the next doping scandal going to come from the Special Olympics?

Star Wars Episode 0 to tell the tale of the midichlorians.

The U.S. Army recruits Pee Wee Herman to boost morale.

It all sounds like bullshit, but if someone took the time to write it down, it has to be true, right?

Stuff To Do Online (41)

Another list of stuff I've seen in the past week or so.

First, some blogs that could disappear forever:

Eventually, all bloggers goes through stages, including quitting.

Freespace hung it up on May 25.

Lilretrogirl is now a single post about gothic apparel.

The sisters at Madpony stopped posting a year ago.

And there is one blog that isn't going anywhere, from what I can tell, but I can't tell what it says. Can anyone translate this one for me? Because it links here and I don't know why....

You can watch amazing or amusing videos:

Amazing: a news story with footage from right in front of a Cat 5 tornado.

An example of why being an on-the-scene weather reporter must suck.

If they had music videos like this, I'd still watch MTV.

Hannity interviews the creator of an already defunct website called Forsake the Troops, a guy named Michael Vogel, alias Michael Crook.

You can play games:

Rock scissors paper.

Clicky. Use the arrows to avoid all objects.

The Bill Cosby fun game.

Flash Cube.

You can see or do strange or interesting stuff:

A flikr set of Disneyland photos.

Welcome to Zombo com.

Turn an English phrase into foreignor babel.

Another one of those creepy pictures with a scary thing that pops out.

You can learn something new:

Learn what killed most of the animals on the earth 250 million years ago, and see a cool graphic of the breakup of Pangea.

Did you know NBA player Kwame Brown was one of the dudes who held the shoe bomber down?

Is your local school one of the 1,000 best in America? Ours is in the top 400.

That picture on your wall of the bearded, hippy looking Jesus is actually some other dude. Because there is no chance that Jesus had long hair.

You can buy strange or wonderful things:

You could have bought a model of a Disneyland attraction for just $3,383.

Or another.

A tiki doll from the Tiki Room will run you Seven Large!

But that wouldn't be enough to buy an oil painting of a buffed out Jesus on the cross.

You can sit and wonder what these people were thinking:

The Star Wars wannabees.

The pack rat mom.

The advocates of No Pants Day.

The collectors of food anomalies.

You can check out a place far, far away via web cam:

Darkness has set upon Australia's Davis Station in the Antarctic.

Bali's first live webcam at Poppie's pool.

Check out the streets of Taipei. Any of them.

How's the weather in Dublin, Ireland?

You can listen to the radio in some other city:

KJR am sports radio.

WTOP news in Washington.

76.1 FM in Japan radio AM 940.

The global Catholic radio network is available anywhere.

You can check out some weird news photos:

The spider crab orgy.

Before and after Brazilian rainforest satellite photos.

Phil Spector's afro eurofro.

A Neanderthal woman who's less ugly than Rosie O'Donnell.

Finally, you can read a good bullshit story:

Kid eliminated from national spelling bee with "girlfriend." (Can you use it in a sentence, please?)

A-Rod ready to come out of the closet.

The Pentagon announces plans to close Camp Snoopy.

And watch out for the killer electric poison worm creature.

It'll get ya.

Stuff To Do Online (40)

Another list of stuff I've seen in the past week or two.

First, some interesting blogs to read:

This is an old-fashioned BBS, but it reads like a blog.
Marla Swoffer can be entertaining or serious.
Google has its own blog. The GoogleBlog.
The Plumbutt Chronicles is heading toward manifesto land, so I might never link to it again.

You can watch amazing or amusing videos:

Darth Vador pimps an idea for a movie.
A pretty funny scene from Scare Tactics.
Full Metal Classroom.
Nuke videos to a Doors soundtrack.

You can play games:

Kill the undead. Deanimator.
Draw stuff with 5-15 other artists at once. Crude penis etchings are inevitable.
Let's bowl!
Help the clowns. I refused.

You can see interesting stuff:

A redneck limo.
UFOs on google maps.
How to pretend you are stronger than you are.
The bronze age was sexier than historians thought.

You can learn something new:

How to pack efficiently for your next trip.
How to make living green graffiti.
How to calculate your criminal penalty for sneaking stuff onto planes.
How to start your own cult.

You can buy strange things:

Chunks of your favorite celebrity.
A digital camera hidden inside a pen.
"Christian panties."
And FemDefense, a defense against rape.

You can sit and wonder what these people were thinking:

The girl who looks the same in every photo.
The people who thought "let's cover the glacier with a sheet so it won't melt."
Ouchy the adult-themed clown. Clowns = Bad.
"Nolawyer.com," run by a disbarred Arizona lawyer who got busted cheating and breaking the rules, and then fled to Mexico where he peddles legal briefs to people who represent themselves in court.

You can puzzle over why these twins were not raised together:

Natalie Portman and Yul Brenner.
Mexican president Vicente Fox and actor James Garner.

You can check out a place far, far away via web cam:

Mallory Square, Key West, Florida.
Cruise terminal, New Orleans, Louisiana.
Tembe Elephant Park, South Africa.
Playa Vargas, on the Caribbean coast of Venezuela.

You can listen to the radio in some other city:

Newport Beach alternative radio, Indie 103.
Tennessee talkradio WLAC 1510.
BBC London 94.9.
Choose from 25 cities in the CBC network.

You can check out some weird news photos:

A lady who breast fed tiger cubs until they died of malnutrition.
The "see no evil" monkeys, maybe.
Mr. Britney Spears picking his ass.
With all his money, this is as hot a chick as Michael Jackson could get.

Finally, you can read a good bullshit story:

Saddam signs with Calvin Klein.
Dollar bracelets sold to draw attention to the folks trying to rid us of dollar bracelets.
Waiter uses customer compliments to pay bills.
A modest proposal to rid the world of gays.

Actually, I'm only kinda sorta sure that last one was fake.

Stuff To Do Online (39)

Another list of stuff I've seen in the past week or so.

First, some interesting blogs to read:

O'Fat has a blog. Blogs are now officially not cool anymore.
The kids' lunchbox blog.
A blog that focuses on quirky google maps images.
Web Wasteland finds odd stuff, including, from time to time, my stuff.

You can watch variations on the same odd video themes:

For some reason, people who keep setting themselves on fire, on purpose, have trouble putting themselves out.
And they keep getting worms in their skin.
Videos of other people playing video games is pretty lame, but this one sheds a bit of light on the Asian driver syndrome.
Performance "art" is stupid. This asshat drowns himself and calls it "art." (Yes, he was revived.)

You can play games:

Get your balls out for Balls 'n' Walls.
Guess the google search. I played once and scored a 294.
Gamble on horses for real.
Don't press the button. The adult computer geek version of the monster-at-the-end-of-this-book.

You can see or do strange or interesting stuff:

Download 200 mp3s from Amazon for freeeeee.
Check out this bike frame made of bamboo.
I don't understand the writing, but this looks like a Scooby-Doo plot waiting to happen.
Psst. Wanna see a three legged man? He's got two you-know-whats, too. (NSFW)
If you know what this disgusting thing is, please email me or post a comment.

You can learn something new:

Like what happens if you misspell Google.
A better way to browse.
How to save travel money by booking "repositioning cruises."
Where to find the cheapest gasoline around.

You can bid on strange or wonderful things:

You missed out on the testicles of Darth Vader.
But that seller is still taking bids on his patriotism.
Some dude sold his $11.66 tax refund for a mere $11.65.
And some [used] lucky green briefs sold for a mere $1.29.
You missed out on this dark fairy, too.
There is still time, however, to buy this wolverine penis bone.
eBay is also a great place to find bargain nipple guards.

You can sit and wonder what these people were thinking:

People are using body piercings as back corsets.
Other people like to abuse and molest statues.
Maskers: at last someone for "normal" transvestites to look down upon.
Are you a virgin? Yes, but only a "technical virgin."

You can check out a place far, far away via web cam:

Watch a Norwegian shipyard making a new cruise ship.
Kodiak, Alaska will be getting some pretty late sunsets soon.
The Kilauea volcano webcam can spew forth some interesting pictures.
This is the most interactive public webcam I've seen: San Diego's multiple location, user adjustable webcam.

You can check out some weird news photos:

Benedict XVI performs "This is the church; this is the steeple, open the door..."
Jennifer Wilbanks shows reporters how proud she is.
If you know people are going to take pictures of you in public, don't go out dressed in an old sheet.
In Iraq, you don't need a weatherman to tell you when the dust storm will arrive. You see it coming.

You can listen to the radio in some other city:

Like some place in Jamaica, mon.
WXPN in Philly.
98.5 Sonshine FM in Australia.
Real Radio 104.1 in Central Florida.

Finally, you can read a good bullshit story:

This purports to be true: most avid consumers of child porn are young teens.
She bangs; he falls down dead.
The NFL personalized jersey program must be glad Ed Dickface was not drafted.
You know why you've never seen Bigfoot? Because Bigfoot moved to Manitoba.
Like everything you see on the Internets, these stories are all 100% true.

Stuff To Do Online (38)

Another list of stuff I've seen in the past week or so.

First, some interesting blogs to read:

Fugly is the new pretty.
The Tax Professor discusses how the blue states feed the red states.
Mark Riddle ponders a conversation with King David.
Brittney Gilbert is going to blog for a newspaper TV station now.

You can take stupid quizzes or tests:

What famous leader are you? (Don't say Hitler. Don't say Hitler....)
What is your inner height?
The Zombie Survival Test.
What should your New Year's resolution have been?
I'm tired of stupid quizzes. No more for a while.

You can listen to the radio in some other city:

Here in SoCal, if you like talk radio, and you hate illegal aliens, try KFI AM 640.
Virgin Radio has a wide variety of selections.
WWOZ New Orleans roots radio.
77 WABC in New York.

You can watch amazing or amusing videos:

Watching this reminded me that I am still a pyromaniac: the pyro's super-soaker.
This will take a while to load. It's almost an hour of video about Disney's old Carousel of Progress.
This is what George Bush thinks the American world is really like.
This is actually just audio: how to drive your Chinese take-out food guy mad.

You can play games:

Breakfast brawl. A rip off of Punchout.
Mike Tyson's Punch Out.
Monkey games rule! Play beach bobbing bob.
Parashoot retro.

You can see or do strange or interesting stuff:

What's that song?
In the battle of car versus telephone line, sometimes the line wins.
When is a penis not a penis?
A great collection of space photos.

You can learn something new:

Ten drinks for men who know how to be men.
What can digital retouching do for me?
What did WWII look like from the air?
Check the health rating of that LA restaurant you want to try.

You can bid on strange eBay items:

This mammogram machine might be a scam.
This stuffed alcoholic squirrel would look good on any shelf.
This bitter cheated-on husband is selling 1,000 videos of his wife making out with her girlfriend. The feedback forum is even funnier.
Bid on this lemon pecker and you can make lemon pecker chicken.
The photo of this wedding band has a hidden message for the ex.
The Pope tart. I just don't see it. Do you?
The seller of this orange pocketed 42 cents, which is 32 cents more than he deserved.

You can sit and wonder what these people were thinking:

Thirty-eight pages of photos poking fun of fat people.
This is gross. Show Me Your Wound dot com.
Some people are obsessive-compulsive cleaners. Others are the exact opposite.
Is Arnold the Anti-Christ? Some say yes.

You can puzzle over why these twins were not raised together:

I have just one, after which I will wait to see if lightning strikes me:
Benedict XVI and Darth Sidious.

You can check out a place far, far away via web cam:

The Panama Canal.
The port of Vancouver. I think I once stayed at that hotel.
Tahiti. Mmmm, Tahiti.
The Caribbean island of Grenada.

You check out some weird news photos:

Why did we win the Cold War? Because Russian soldiers have no balls.
Great shot of a car bomb being detonated by the bomb squad.
A newly discovery alligator-like fossil.
This accused criminal is every bit the monster he appears to be.
A candid shot outside the home of that chili finger scammer.
You've been warned, this is really gross: maggot therapy at work in some woman's infected heel.

Finally, you can read a good bullshit story:

Men protest outside breast reduction clinic. It's about time someone took a stand...
Election of new Pope ends weeks of Catholic sin-fest. When the cat's away....
Google searcher disgusted to find severed finger in Google search. (Sounds like a scam to me.)
Scientist says oil is not a fossil fuel and it is unlimited. This purports to not be bullshit, but I'm not buying it.

Stuff To Do Online (37)

Another list of stuff I've seen in the past week or so.

As I used to, I bring you some monkey stuff:

Like Monkey Heaven, the site devoted to a really weak Japanese TV show.
Some of the best results from random monkeys on keyboards making Shakespeare.
I went to Miami three times in three years and I never made it to Monkey Jungle.
All you ever wanted to know about the Scopes Monkey Trial.

First, some interesting blogs to read:

Tom McMahon asks: "Why do we still have no 9/11 movies from Hollywood?"
Beldar reports from the trenches.
Outhouse rag posits what America's ideal president would look like.
Reid poses an idea about what the ten commandments would sound like if handed down in Minnesota, doncha know.

You can take quizzes or tests:

We know you are a killer. What remains to be decided is what kind of killer you are.
What country are you? I'm Thailand. (No jokes about teen sex tours, please.)
Are you cool? This test suggests you are not.
Do you really know your 80s music?

You can watch amazing or amusing videos:

Watch this person prove that he or she spends way too much time playing this video game.
We could save a lot of fuel if every Hummer driver did this.
Have you been on Rock n Roller Coaster at Disney/MGM? It's like this.
This guy must have been a bird in a previous life.

You can play games:

Runner. This is my favorite find in a long time.
Hide the hotties.
Dive for pearls.
Jurassic Putt.

You can see or do strange or interesting stuff:

Your local snowplow guy can't hold a candle to the guy who plows this road.
Wanna see the Pope's nipples?
Spamusement -- cartoons inspired by spam headers.
Even weirder cartoons.

You can learn something new:

Where is that area code located?
How to maximize your income, if you are a stripper.
How to noodle for fish.
Mrs. Fix-It can teach you almost anything.

You can buy strange or wonderful things:

Swimwear appropriate for your daughter.
Admit it. You want this hovercraft.
Very cool spy cigarette lighter camera.
Sushi pillows.

You can sit and wonder what these people were thinking:

Goatboy's personal ad.
Nigerian's walking their "dogs."
Creative ways to break the bad news to the newly orphaned.
If I was this dorky, I'd never let anyone take my picture, much less put it on the web.

You can check out a place far, far away via web cam:

When I go to London next year, catch me waving from Trafalgar Square.
I want to winter in St. Moritz, ski, shop and eat cheese fondues.
Some elephant watering hole in Africa.
The Hong Kong webcam.

You check out some weird news photos:

This lemur might be the ugliest mammal ever known to man.
If you accidentally offered something "when pigs swim," rather than "when pigs fly, you are hosed.
J. Alfred Prufrock would love this Panda, etherized upon a table.
That Noni juice that those MLM freaks sell to cure everything from warts to cancer comes from this thing.

Finally, you can read a good bullshit story:

The "little Yosemite" known as Hetch Hetchy features backpacking bears.
Dubya accused of child molestation.
IRS to start taxing sex instead of money. Bill Gates celebrates.
Disappointed Pope reports that heaven is less fancy than the Vatican.

It all sounds like bullshit, but if someone took the time to write it down, it has to be true, right?

Stuff To Do Online (36)

Another list of stuff I've seen in the past week or so.

First, some interesting blog posts to read:

Tian catches a tow truck driver screwing up.
Cranky Greg notes that the Florida animal cruelty laws would prevent a dog owner from doing what Michael did to Terri.
Obsidian Wings wonders why Ward Churchill's resume fraud isn't bothering anyone.
Telescreen notices that the heads of state of the world's two smallest countries died within a few days of each other.

You can take quizzes or tests:

Draw a pig and find out all about yourself.
Take the state quiz.
Which religion should you join?
Pick an IQ test. Any IQ test.

You can watch amazing or amusing videos:

The cameraman just keeps on rolling as this crazy guy goes crazy.
These robbers are ready to kill, but can't shoot worth a damn.
In NASCAR crashes, the general rule is that the worse it looks, the better it is.
"Dumping your girlfriend" can be just an expression, or not.
(No, she didn't die. See the "after" pictures here.)

You can play games:

Alcohol & Ammo.
Finger/monitor twister.
The kitten launcher - I sent one 554 feet.
Help Kobe get his freak on.

You can see or do strange or interesting stuff:

Wanna see a snake eating a kangeroo whole?
What time is it? Ask the human clock.
Disneyland, reproduced with legos.
Transparent computer screens.

You can learn something new:

What do you get when you cross Google maps with Craigslist?
What is the worst movie of all time?
Thirteen things that just don't make sense.
You can now use DNA evidence to confirm your Indian heritage. Bet me that Ward Churchill won't be a customer.

You can buy strange or wonderful things:

An autographed portrait of the Pope, just $5,000.
A mystery box. Not the contents, the box. Approaching $2,000.
Send someone a fecal gram.
Advertising space on some dudes breast implants, apparently with a reserve in excess of $300,000.

You can sit and wonder what these people were thinking:

Check out the passed out wookies.
People who want to be like Terri Schiavo without actually starving to death.
People who look for gang hand signs flashed by members of Lucifer's gang.
Guns, pacifiers, they're pretty much the same thing, right?

You can puzzle over why these twins were not raised together:

The new bride of Prince Charles and this here horse.
Author Tom Clancy and comedian Drew Carey.
Cole Ford and Charles Manson.

You can check out a place far, far away via web cam:

The Mammoth Hot Springs webcam.
The M/S Oceana, currently headed for Southampton.
Seward, Alaska, looking toward the port.
Even Fenway Park has a webcam.

You check out some weird news photos:

Even after many years, I still sometimes chuckle when I see this sign.
A sunset during a partial eclipse looks worth seeing.
This ray looks almost human.
Someone is going to photoshop this victory bottle shot.
The ball has more colors than Dennis Rodman's hair. Go figure.

Finally, you can read a good bullshit story:

I hope this is bullshit: hooker college.
Bush shitcans the shuttle program.
Cops shoot and kill man mistaken for velociraptor.
Kid uses margarine to abuse his own self. Imperial Margarine hires him as spokesman, figuring he's no worse than that Dell dude.

Vini, vidi, posti.

[This was initially posted Saturday night, but Six Apart ate it, methinks.]

Stuff To Do Online (35)

Another list of stuff I've seen in the past week or so.

First, some interesting blogs to read:

I like this blog, Aussie Mom, just because I can read her tomorrow posts today.
I sometimes get interesting ideas from Network Marketing, which I like more than MLM.
I like it when blogger post about absurdities they spot from time to time.
I like it, also, when this guy finds some non-Asian making a fool of himself/herself by using Asian characters to spell something unintended.

You can take quizzes or tests:

How good is your language learning ability?
Are you addicted to porn? Does porn have an equivalent to methadone?
What are your politics?
Which swimsuit model is the best?

You can watch amazing or amusing videos:

If you answered 70% or higher to quiz #2, this will demonstrate why you need a laptop.
I forgot how sophisticated we were in kindergarten. (NSFW banner ads)
I'd never heard of Pablo Francisco, but dude is funny.
Sarah Silverman is going to hell for sure, but she's kinda funny, which is rare for a female comedien who isn't fat.

You can play games:

Flick peanuts past squirrels. I used to pay 25 cents to play crap no better than this.
Iron Chef - Battle for something or other.
Mouse control is needed for this one: Rodeo. I don't have it.
One more level. I don't quite know what's going on there, and don't have time to RTFM, be there one.

You can see or do strange or interesting stuff:

How to make a wallet out of the money in your, um, wallet.
A list of April Fool's jokes that various sites pulled off, or tried to.
Terri Schiavo is alive. And she is hot. (No, not that Terri Schivo, this Terri Schiavo)
Bet on who will be the next Pope. 11-4 says it'll be a black guy. So much for converting the Southern Baptists. Note: Roger Mahony is such a longshot he doesn't even have odds.

You can learn something new:

If you wondered what they do when the Pope dies, you can find out here.
Some designer shares his wisdom. Much of it can apply to anyone.
The Big Bang has been replicated. They think.
How might the world end? Here are some scenarios. One involves cats.
Who practices what religion? Christianity still dominates, but Hinduism is approaching 1 billion.

You can buy strange or wonderful things:

On eBay this month, you can bid on:
A jet airline limo;
A grandson;
The junk in this one dude's glove compartment;
The real Easter Bunny (no certificate of authenticity available); or
A wallet made of duct tape. But you don't need that; you already made a wallet out of your money.

You can sit and wonder what these people were thinking:

Hello, my future girlfriend.
If your last name is Justice, Aryan would make a great name for your kid.
For the last time, Bob Saget is not God.
This guy and his girlfriend argue about the dumbest things.

You can puzzle over why these twins were not raised together:

Michael Schiavo and Ned Flanders.
But not young Arnold and old Arnold.

You can check out a place far, far away via web cam:

Rome (does anyone know of a link to a Vatican webcam?)
Downtown Milano.
And some bridge in Washington.

You check out some weird news photos:

The girl with dozens of hands.
Handshake or milkshake?
Penguins hail the penguin god.
Popocatepetl erupts in a splash of colors.

Finally, you can read a good bullshit story:

America still hasn't found its funniest home video.
Invasion of Iraq was an elaborate practical joke, says W.
Big Dick Cheney earned tuition money as nude model in college.
According to the Koran, the U.S. will cease to exist in 2007. Start buying some soon-to-be oceanfront property on the northern border of Mexico.

Stuff To Do Online (34)

Another list of stuff I've seen in the past week or so.

First, some interesting blogs to read:

Spots of blog lists other interesting blogs, which makes it interesting.
Trial.com has a blog. If you're a lawyer, you might like it.
LadyGypsy is fun to watch.
Angie Muldowney's Lemon Light is pretty good, too. I especially like the photoposts.

You can take quizzes or tests:

Are you going to hell? I scored a 138. I'm enjoying life, but not going to hell, maybe.
How well you you know your icons?
Are you a weather genius?

You can watch amazing or amusing videos:

This shot was awesome, and it meant winning the game, to boot.
Michael Jackson admits his pedophilia. [Might not be legitimate.]
This drunk driver can't even stand up straight, but gets behind wheel.
A cop shoots himself to demonstrate the danger of playing with guns. Then he breaks out with the rifle and kids freak out.

You can play games:

First, you free the balloon. Then, you email me and explain how to play this stupid game.
Another one of those puzzle thingies.
Counting stars might seem easy, but it's not.
Take back Illinois.

You can see or do strange or interesting stuff:

The WTF Hall of Fame wasn't what I expected.
Coffee art that you can drink. (But take a picture first.)
Check out the world's most accurate sundial. (But it's still worthless in a rainstorm.)
If you like this David Hasselwhatever picture, you are gay, gay, gay. [Update: It now points to yourethemannowdog.com, which is really lame and annoying.]

You can learn something new:

How to get over that girl that your probation officer won't let you stalk.
Old and Busted: "John is Dead." Not Hotness: "Sleep with me, I'm not too young."
How to clean anything.
If you hate saying no, say some of this bullshiznit instead.

You can buy strange or wonderful things:

If you use this hair dryer, you are asking for trouble.
I am buying, like, 500 of these.
The answer to the question: "What's under those overalls?"
How to build your own guillotine. Just $38.

You can sit and wonder what these people were thinking:

Garage jumping is the new rage. It lets you fall six stories to your near-demise.
On April 1st, you might consider making your friend's apartment look upside down.
Wanna go noodling? Hell no!
What would possess someone to pose in a coffin with one's iPod?

You can wonder when these twins were first separated:

That crazy old guy from the Magic Mountain ads and attorney Alan Burton Newton.

You can check out a place far, far away via web cam:

The Maui Sheraton is always good.
Der Matterhorn.
The Three Sisters in the Rockies.
Mount Shasta.

You check out some weird news photos:

This is the world's least comfortable looking bed.
This dog would scare the crap out of me.
Check out the wussies, especially the dude with the lifesaver on his tongue.
Did I already post the Iranian kid rapist and his blue-rope fate?
This chick needs a haircut worse than those dudes in Easy Rider.
That finger in the chili looked like this.
If people tend to look like their pets, this cat must be owned by some serious ugliness.
Just when I think the U.S. has the craziest Christians, I see this. On the other hand, it's no worse than a tongue-piercing.

Finally, you can read a good bullshit story:

This story will someday happen to Jenna Jameson's kids.
They might send in the troops to save Terri Schiavo.
Africanized fleas are coming!!!!
Terri Schiavo can be rehabilitated, says Nobel Prize-nominated doctor. Oh, except that real Nobel nominations are not made public for 50 years, and this guy's nomination came from an ineligible nominator, and this Nobel nominee has a disciplinary record before the Florida Medical Board. In other words, his credentials are as Nobel-worthy as mine would be if my wife nominated me for the prize....

Stuff To Do Online (33)

Another list of stuff I've seen in the past week or so.

First, some interesting blogs to read:

Fluxblog posts mp3s.
I sometimes read Clive Thompson.
Luna Nina always has over 3200 trackbacks.
Pundit Guy is a good read.

You can take quizzes or tests:

Is it art? Or is it something else?
How well do you know your California?
What would your Irish name be? A: Not what this stupid thing says.

You can watch amazing or amusing videos:

This is what I expected to happen to one of my blasphemous friends the other day. As it turns out, God didn't mind.
This is the world's gayest little 10-year-old dude.
PSA: In the periodic battles between Jeeps and trains, go with the train every time.
Are you not glad that the Rugrats kept interviewing after the animator of this thing left the building?
Check out this demonstration of a remarkable chicken catching machine that reduces the farmer's need to hire illegal aliens to catch his chickens.

You can play games:

Thinking Machine Chess.
Shoot people who are crossing a room.
Play stick avalanche. It hooked me for an hour.
A better way to bet.

You can see strange or interesting stuff:

These guys go around England and pick up stray photos. Then they post 'em and ask "is it you?"
Pee in the snow with skill.
The little dude here is as strong as your browser.
This 3-D site has all sorts of fun stuff to waste your day.

You can learn something new:

Do you know what Russian license plate look like? Wanna?
How reliable are eyewitness identifications?
The OC has its own craigslist now.
If you did poorly on that art quiz above, don't feel bad. Even the experts were fooled.

You can buy something unusual:

"My sister ratted me out to my boyfriend, so I'm selling her diary."
Other sister: "Oh, yeah? Then I'm selling her love letters."
Haven't you wanted to own some authentic royal flatulence?
Want a time machine sent back from the future? Too late. Golden Palace Casino beat you to it.
I'm not accusing anyone of anything, but it looks to me like the seller of this broken Playstation 2 got screwed by a pair of conspiring non-paying bidders in a run-up-the-seller's-fees eBay scam.

You can sit and wonder what these people were thinking:

Some dude carves intricate faces and shapes in seed pits.
Bad: your family name is "Blood." Worse: you name your kid "Dick."
I used to think Jews For Jesus was kind of weird. But it's not as weird as Jews for Bacon.
Brittney Gilbert's high school is readying for the class of 1995's ten year. They have posed their best, most, etc. Check out the middle one: most attractive. I respectfully disagree. Even if I'm drunk.

You can check out a place far, far away via web cam:

I love to look out over Mallory Square.
This time of year, you can watch the Montreal penguins nearly around the clock.
Every time I look at this webcam of the Eiffel Tower, it is nighttime.
This live jailcam warns: "Instances of violence or sexually inappropriate behavior by detainees during the booking process may occur. Viewer discretion is advised." To my disappointment, I've seen nothing of the sort.

You check out some weird news photos:

Someone needs to tell these players that "going to the Big Dance" is a figure of speech.
His friends call him "fig pucker" but he doesn't know why.
This is fashion?
Lesbians now call themselves "second class citizens." I guess I won't ever have to endure a flight in first class with Ellen DeGeneres again.

Finally, you can read a good bullshit story:

Sam Walton has been kicked out of hell by an annoyed Satan.
The new Lesbian Bible features the story of Justine, daughter of God, and her 12 disciplettes.
Calorie sellers are enjoying a banner year!
And I'm looking forward to that upcoming "24" episode about the lunch hour.

It all sounds like bullshit, but if someone took the time to write it down, it has to be true, right?

Stuff To Do Online (32)

Another list of stuff I've seen in the past week or so.

First, some interesting blogs to read:

Another cool music blog: music.for-robots.
John Sedwick just seems to like posting about how "kick-ass" his mood is.
The "blog of death" sounds more forboding, I suppose, than the obituary blog.
I like "photo-a-day" blogs.

You can take quizzes or tests:

The Will I Like You? test.
What kind of blogger are you?
How good at chemistry are you?

You can watch amazing or amusing videos:

This video is amazing. Cars are sliding across the ice into other cars, and people are getting out and sliding alongside!
Gorilla Mask takes you behind the scene for the making of the virtual bartender.
A nostalgic look a Disneyland and the monorail.
This guy only knows two words.

You can play games:

A helicopter flying thingie.
Ball revamped.
It's all about making that GTA.
Let me know if you figure screen three out. I assumed it was going to flash a screeching zombie across my screen, so I bailed.

You can do odd things:

Write your own story about the latest car bombing in Iraq.
Convert the Queen's English into Redneck English.
Re-date: the anniversary converter.
It's out of season, but carve a pumpkin anyway.

You can see strange or interesting stuff:

There is a machine that can shred anything. Boats. Cars. Rolls of paper. You name it. And watch it.
I did a double take, and it wasn't what I thought it was.
Fifty years of some Disney fan's souvenirs.
You can turn any watermelon into art if you know what you're doing.

You can learn something new:

They outlawed junk faxes, right?
You can breed foxes selectively and turn them into dogs.
That song by REM about Kenneth and his frequency makes no sense unless you know this Dan Rather story.
What are the real stories behind those crazy lawsuits you keep hearing about?

You can buy stuff:

This chair absolutely kicks ass.
Tiki flash drives are as cool as white guys with afros.
Need a penguin? Shop at the penguin warehouse.
The geek's love shirt: "All my base are belong to you."

You can sit and wonder what these people were thinking:

Some guy named Scott reserved the domain name "hellomynameisscott," and he's making a career of it.
Some parents tell their kids to stay away from drugs. Others tell these bedtimes stories.
Either someone was unduly influenced by the end of Animal House, or the cops need to put Lojack on this thing.
I never knew this before, but God Hates Sweden. (That's why he punishes the Swedes by cursing them with tons of hot babes.)

You can puzzle over these lookalikes:

Only one this week: Recently baptized former Korn rocker Brian "Head" Welch and Jesus Christ.

You can check out a place far, far away via web cam:

Ensenada Mexico. I can't read Spanish well, but I think it says there's a webcam here somewhere.
San Diego's Mission Beach.
Catalina's Avalon Pier.
Don't those make you want to do a little cruise?

You check out some weird news photos:

Some chicks show their boobs to protest. Protest what? I don't know. I was looking at her boobs.
If I'm ever in urban combat, I want this gun.
I love thrill rides, but F*ck This.
If you eat about 80 people, and you are a crocodile, you probably look something like this.

Finally, you can read a good bullshit story:

We have exactly one year until the UFOs come for us.
New vaccine to save the world from cow fart ozone depletion.
eBay to remove passwords from accounts to thwart would-be password hackers.
Oh yeah, well I'll see your peanut butter on my cheese sandwich and raise you a brownie with my semen on top.

Oops. That last one really happened.

Stuff To Do Online (31)

Another list of stuff I've seen in the past week or so.

First, some interesting blogs to read:

I sometimes get good ideas from this legal blog about legal blogs.
This blog, as far as I can tell, is just a photo a day, and you can buy 'em.
Somebody Save Me. He hasn't posted in almost a year. Maybe beyond saving.
This blogger has taken the name The Questioning Christian. From what I've read so far, he'd have been beheaded as a heretic 200 years ago.

You can take quizzes or tests:

Can you spot the virgin?
Take this alleged IQ test. I got 11 of 16 right, which is a pretty high score, apparently.
After you finish it, you'll be done with tests for a while.

You can watch amazing or amusing videos:

This is a fairly pathetic political ripoff of David Spade's Capital One commercials.
Hitchhiker's Guide is coming to the big screen.
Hip hop fingers is very amusing for a comfortably short time.
How to BBQ a Man. I'm glad Jeff Dahmer did not make a guest appearance. Then again, he usually made stew, right?

You can play games:

Drop-kick the Faint.
Panda Golf.
In real life, shooting kittens is bad. But here, it's good.
Bob the Ball is on a game page, but I'm not sure if it's a game. [I didn't play or watch it because of the name. I don't want my balls bobbed.]

You can do odd things:

Try to get onto the Dr. Phil show, so you can rub his bald head.
Or, if that's not your style, aim for the Amazing Race instead.
Make your own Google.
Convert your hated rival's website into an evil website.

You can see strange or interesting stuff:

Red Nova has a picture of the day that usually rocks.
Make Triumph the Comic Insult Dog poop on a website, e.g., Google.
Check out the picture of the year for almost every year.
Locate an IP address on the globe.

You can learn something new:

Like how to carve soap.
Find out whether Abe Vigoda is dead yet.
Ten things every girl should know about boys' private parts. [Believe at your own risk.]
Find out what other people better than you had done by the time they were your age.

You can buy stuff:

Like a MacGyver Utility Kit: a paper clip, rubber band and a pen cap.
I actually want this, but it would be too wasteful, methinks.
You can buy the boobs that a stripper used to assault a guy once.
Scratch and sniff undergarments.

You can sit and wonder what these people were thinking:

This dude must see gays getting married and wonder, why can't I marry my raccoon?
This dude leaves pretty weird feedback. But, hey, positive feedback is good.
Crazy mom-to-be auctions off the right to name her baby. Golden Palace Casino wins.
Ashlee Simpson embarrasses her family again by unintentionally modeling for the soup kitchen's clothing store.

You can puzzle over why these twins were not raised together:

Adam Duritz (far right) and Sideshow Bob.
This one dog and Darth Vader.
Rene Zellwegger at the Oscars and Ian Michael Black.

You can check out a place far, far away via web cam:

Snow Summit [not that far away from lex]
The view from the bridge of the Dawn Princess.
Watch someone get beaten and robbed in Times Square.
The Tetons are really beautiful, no?

You check out some weird news photos:

The photographer who scored this picture of a golden bathroom was sure to include the "No Photos" sign.
To my surprise, Roger Ebert is not gay. He has a wife.
This Indian woman has monkeys suck her boobs. Seriously.
This picture of Katie Couric's enormous frowny mouth may have been snapped while she was looking at the Indian monkey boob lady.

Finally, you can read a good bullshit story:

Looking at boobs is good for the health of your man's eyes, so cut him a break.
George Bush to get cape, scepter and crown, and such other stuff.
Woman gives birth to cyclops baby in Russia.
The Earth's magnetic fields are shifting. We're all dead.

Maybe those last two are not bullshit, but until I see it for myself, I'm not going to believe it.

Stuff To Do Online (30)

Today is the kind of rainy day I like. It's rainy steadily, with heavy downpours and lightning every once in a while. It's a great day to read, on a page or a screen, and listen to music, or just listen for the next downpour. You can also, of course, burn some down time on the net.

Here's another list of stuff I've seen in the past week or so.

First, some interesting blogs to read:

The daily coupon blog. Get Coupons Here.
Archaeologists blog, too.
Steve Mc has a daily read that is heavily influenced by his religion.
The Number One Songs in Heaven is not.

You can take quizzes or tests:

What classic movie are you?
How much do you love money?
Are you a genius?
What breed of puppy are you? It says I'm a chow, which sucks, because I hate chows.

You can watch amazing or amusing videos:

Watch a monkey completely mess with a couple of little tigers.
Simon says what we all think: Is this dude a Matthew or a Martha?
This video shows why it is not a good thing to have a stupid mouse as your friend.
Boing Boing found these two 30-minute Disneyland videos from 1956. Part one and part two. They are very large files, and Boing Boing traffic might take them down soon, so hurry.

You can play games:

Shoot the Cliche. I love to shoot cliches.
The Net Game.
Beer Dude 2 is worth a few minutes.
There are some games you just can't win. This is one.

You can do odd things:

Do a gizoogle search for me, or whatever.
Kill everyone.
Pop packing bubbles. Don't tell you don't love that.
Make Ashlee Simpson dance like a fool.

You can see strange or interesting stuff:

If you did that gizoogle search, you fonddizzled my sizzle.
See Mrs. Federline's thumbnail that has nipple watchers all excited about nothing.
Check out women who should have spent the extra $2,000 on a licensed doctor for their boob jobs. (Very NSFW)
In stark contrast, check out the Indian chick that you've never heard of, but who some say is the most beautiful woman in the world.

You can learn something new:

Join the vacation rights movement.
Google has joined the online free mapping world.
Learn how the midway barkers separate you from your money.
If we were aliens, naming the first humans, we might have called people Ethiopian Hair-Headed Monkeys.

You can buy strange or wonderful things:

You can now own a real Disneyland skyride gondola.
The Totally Insane Card Game has its own website.
Your kids need these Book of Mormon action figures.
A "drive thru gentleman's club" called "Climax."
Some idiot with a big sniffer offered to run ads on his nose for $7,000. Even GoldenPalace.com wasn't interested.

You can sit and wonder what these people were thinking:

I'm not sure what they are trying to do with this Tsunami lawsuit site.
A 23-year-old nanny gave her 4-year-old babysittee a hands on sex education class.
That's right, mister, said the young man. I want my labia pierced.
This eBay listing isn't really trying to sell stuff. It's trying to talk you out of buying stuff. Brilliant!

You can puzzle over why these twins were not raised together:

ESPN commentator Kirk Herbstreit and my former brother in law.
Locked-out Ottawa Senator Daniel Alfredsson and actor Seth Green.
Skater turned gangster turned boxer Tonya Harding and the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man.
Melissa Ethridge and Demi Moore and that Pope-hating bitch that used to sing.

You can check out a place far, far away via web cam:

The kelp beds in Monterey. I've posted this one before, but I dig it.
Royal Caribbean cruise ship Voyager of the Seas.
Celebrity Cruises ship the Century. This one is better, because it is taken from the bridge.
Sadly, the former Half Dome Cam is gone. But you can still see Half Dome from the top of Sentinel Dome or the top of Turtleback Dome.

You check out some weird news photos:

Is it just me, or are the two-headed babies getting uglier every year?
Shiites bleed themselves nearly dry in religious rites.
The smoldering inferno.
The fat-nekked-people-sit-next-to-you-to-kill-your-appetite diet is catching on in New York.
Indian dudes getting whacked in the chest with sledgehammers to prove something or other.

Finally, you can read a good bullshit story:

Veggie Tales is teaching your little Christian kids to fellate.
Image of Bush shows up in Giuliani's prostate exam images.
Clinton's fainting spell caused by tight thong.
Ben & Jerry's to honor Michael Moore with "Waffle Truth" flavored ice cream.

It all sounds like bullshit, but if someone took the time to write it down, it has to be true, right?

Stuff To Do Online (29)

Another list of stuff I've seen in the past week or so.

First, some interesting blogs to read:

The last minute blog, which seems to have been done at the last minute.
The ranting waiter at waiter rant still remembers that shitty tip you gave him in 2003.
Cribblog finds odd stuff like I do, but adds pictures and stuff.
The anonymous lawyer, supposedly a partner at a big law firm telling it like it really is. I don't believe it's really a partner. I do believe he's telling it like it really is.

You can take quizzes or tests:

Which Monty Python movie are you?
You are spoiled, aren't you?
Which gorgeous goddess are you?
How sketchy are you?

You can watch amazing or amusing videos:

For that one dude who knows who he is: this is what you have to look forward to.
Super Bowl ads, all in one place.
Poisoning the jury pool: Michael Jackson's favorite things.
Why? I don't know. What? A bunch of chicks getting bikini waxes. (SFW)

You can play games:

Dodge the Dot.
Insaniquarium.
Maus Force.
Round file basketball in the wind.

You can do odd things:

Learn how to make cat poop cookies.
Give a man vertigo. (slightly NSFW)
See how rich you are.
Make a Heart Candy Valentine. A cute Valentine's Day present, as long as it's not the only one you give her.

You can see strange or interesting stuff:

The Hello Kitty race car.
Wheels 2 Water: they help wheelchair bound folks get back into the surf.
Some really weak cartoons.
Your furniture might be unclean, but this furniture is dirty.

You can learn something new:

Follow the progress of MGM v. Grokster, which might send you all to jail if all does not go well.
Search the internet for television video references on Blinkx.
See who won every MNC in college football.
The token black guy in Wonderbug was the only actor in that series to get another gig. And his was in the porn industy.

You can buy strange or wonderful things:

A woman with a securitykat will f*ck you up.
Reverend Shaw Moore, eat your heart out. I'm getting Dance Dance Revolution.
Make your own clothing line, courtesy of Neighborhoodies.
Buy a simulated newspaper from the day you were born. So you can find out what happened on the day kids one day older than you were born on.

You can sit and wonder what these people were thinking:

A site devoted to a Spiderman action figure reviewing crayon colors.
The bozo daily listing of dumb criminals.
Your tax dollars hard at work, making sure the Angels change their name back to Anaheim.
The Jim Rose Circus.

You can puzzle over why these twins were not raised together:

Apprentice Erin and Ashlee Simpson.
The dude whose suicide attempt derailed that train in LA and the bad guy from Kindergarten Cop.
Bob Guiney, one of those "The Bachelor" dudes, and Heisman Trophy winner Matt Leinart.
The Unabomber sketch and Weird Al Yankovic.

You can check out a place far, far away via web cam:

Pike's Peak in Colorado.
Pike's Place fish market in Seattle.
Derbyshire England.
Palm Springs, California.

You check out some weird news photos.

A guy about to get a brown stripe right down his backside.
That ugly painting of naked Kate Moss that sold for more than $7 million.
The bottom of the sea, near where that tsunami-making earthquake struck.
Venezuela's president goes among the people to kiss babies. Babies say, "no thanks, we're sucking on this tit."

Finally, you can read a good bullshit story.

Heaven fails ISO 9000 Certification.
George Bush to change his name to "God."
Congress ready to pass law banning urban legends. Penalties can be up to $500 for forwarding bogus emails to people like my gullible aunt.
Bin Laden wishes America a crappy Valentine's Day.

It all sounds like bullshit, but if someone took the time to write it down, it has to be true, right?

Stuff To Do Online (28)

Another list of stuff I've seen in the past week or so.

First, some interesting blogs to read:

The Diplomad seems to be on its way out.
Tian exposes people who use Chinese symbols without knowing what the hell they mean.
Some blogger lists four people, dead or alive, who deserve a c*ck punch.
The Tofuhut doesn't sound like a place to get mp3s, but it is.

You can take quizzes or tests:

Who would you be if you were a cartoon cat?
When are you going to die?
Arrange to tak the Mensa home test.
What gay childhood icon are you?

You can watch amazing or amusing videos:

CNN has its commercials available online. In case you miss commercials when you turn off your TV.
The trailer for Tim Burton's The Corpse Bride.
Hey, Steelers fans, remember the Immaculate Reception?
21-year old footage of MacIntosh's grand public introduction. I remember seeing that and thinking, "Wow!  A computer I can buy can do all that?"

You can play games:

Play the telescope game;
Squish the ants before they eat your donut;
Play City Jumper; or
Play DHTML Lemmings.

You can do odd things:

Get a start on your sand collection.
Make your own Five Card Nancy game.
Play with a digital Etch-a-Sketch.
Make your own custom computer error message.

You can see strange or interesting stuff:

A machine to sort M&Ms according to color. Rock promoters wish this had been around in the 80s, eh?
A simple printable Honey-Do list.
Is your monitor dirty? This will make it cleaner.
A complete list of US Banks, useful, of course, if you want to fool a Nigerian bank scammer into believing you have an account at a real bank other than your real bank.

You can learn something new:

The glaciers are retreating. Before and after shots. So far, I like the the after pictures.
Meth addicts are deteriorating. Before and after shots. On this one, I have to go with the before pictures.
Yes, there are ice caps on the Hawaiian islands. Pretty cool satellite pictures.
Are you too embarrassed to get advice about your problems? This story about this website might help you get assistance.
Did you read "Rich Dad, Poor Dad"? It might all be a bunch of crap.
Here are the Romanian and English lyrics to that Haiducci song in the video clip of that fat Ashlee Simpson wannabe with the webcam.

You can buy strange or wonderful things:

I can't buy it here in California, but that shouldn't stop all of you. Everclear online.
Victory Cigars. I need to bookmark that one.
Infidelity test kits. I'll let them explain the science, because I don't have the stomach.
The conference bike, great for corporation teambuilding, or blind cycling.

You can sit and wonder what these people were thinking:

Why would someone care enough to spot "bloopers" like someone calling Endor a "forest planet" rather than a "forest moon?"
What do you see wrong with this picture?
It's a car. It's a robot. It's a real life transformer.
Save Disney.com, because some companies are just helpless, and need your aid.

You can look at some strange news photos:

Have you ever wondered with a snow-covered mountain of cow manure would look like as it burned?
Check out these freaky doggish-monkeys.
The little mermaid girl.
Lava in Hawaii is making its way to the sea again.

You can check out a place far, far away via web cam:

The Mexican volcano, Popocatepetl.
The Maui Westin Ka'anapali Resort. This is a movable, controllable webcam.
Turtle Farm in the Cayman Islands.Los Angeles, as seen from the Mt. Wilson observatory.

Finally, you can read a good bullshit story.

Give a bunch of geezers viagra and your nursing staff will start taking maternity leave.
Watch out for the oompa-loompas. They are kinky little superfreaks.
Rejected TV pilots, including Abdul's Heroes, and McFaggots.
It was inevitable, no? Fox News has purchased Al-Jazeera. Maybe they'll compete the deal in time for the Iraqi people to watch the Super Bowl on cable.

That's all for now, but if you didn't see what you were looking for, try doing a word search on Gizoogle, and find dat shiznit.

Stuff To Do Online (27)

Another list of stuff I've seen in the past week or so.

First, some interesting blogs to read:

Another blogger spots Mrs. Federline looking like an idiot.
Stephanie Klein. Unlike me, she gets nominated for blog awards and stuff.
This woman tries to explain what it is like to be a Christian who has sex.
I'm not necessarily adverse to lawyers who have blogs, but this blogger's interests are a bit too narrow: Business & Professions Code 17200, Code of Civil Procedure 1005, and the Labor Code.

You can take quizzes or tests:

You should never ask a barber if you need a haircut. So you probably shouldn't ask Ambien if you have a sleep disorder.
Remember this one? Spot the fake smile. I may have done this one before.
The Rogers personality test. Take it.
Which late night talk show host are you? If you are Johnny, I offer my condolences to your family.

You can watch amazing or amusing videos:

Mrs. Federline still cleans up pretty good. And with the mute button on, her music videos are still pretty hot.
This is making the rounds: the, um, worst-prepared, uh, weatherman ever.
Words to describe this horrific X-Factor tryout have not yet been invented.
Courtesy of GorillaMask, here is a crazy weatherman (pre-rehab).

You can play games:

Chuck. As in throw the dude.
Hunt the plip. It's like Whack-a-Mole.
Monkey Trouble.
Hairbowling with the kitty.

You can do odd things:

This is awesome. I could throw back a few bottles and play with this one for hours.
Participate in a study of toilet habits.
Make your own caricature.
Try this NSFW concentration test, but don't waste your time if you aren't a man.

You can see strange or interesting stuff:

Some good, real, license plates. I like the bottom right.
Another page with tsunami before and after pictures.
The rubberboy. He can do things I can't, and wouldn't even if I could.
A website devoted to photographs that shed a new light on their subjects.

You can learn something new:

That photo of Bill Gates in Teen Beat wasn't exactly  a Teen Beat spread, but it's still creepy.
If you turn off the Google Safe-Search protection, Google will bring you some really nasty search results.
Men fake orgasms, too. Why or how is not explained.
What really happened to that old lady who sued McDonald's over hot coffee? Two words: labial debridement.
Myths from geek culture. Yes, it's Geek Mythology.

You can buy strange or wonderful things:

This idea was stolen from Carrot Top, but the idea has merit.
How badly do you want to own something that was used in a movie?
Bid on a stuffed two-headed calf that looks like a carnival game prize.
And finally, this week's image of Jesus on eBay is brought to you by some person with a stained M&M.

You can sit and wonder what these people were thinking:

Someone made a list of 38 smart-ass comments that no one would dare say at the office.
Someone made it possible for you to convert any date into its StarDate.
Someone, at any given time, is trying to get onto a lame reality show. Why not include yourself?
Someone did a painstaking analysis of what each area code's Jenny number (867-5309) yielded.

You can puzzle over why these twins were not raised together:

Former Utah governor Olene Walker and the Dark Lord of the Sith.
Investigative reporter Bob Woodward and infomercial king Ron Popeil.
Dead grunge rocker Kurt Cobain and that chick who plays Grace on Joan of Arcadia.
Lord of the Dance, Michael Flatley and former Stray Cats frontman Brian Setzer.

You can check out a place far, far away via web cam:

Niagara Falls. Watch out for sexual predator Farmer Ted.
The Tehachapi Railroad.
Beale Street in Memphis.
The North Pole. It'll have nothing but black until March.

Finally, you can read a good bullshit story.

eBay admits that those weird auctions are just a marketing scheme dreamt up by eBay marketing nerds.
Ford to recall 24,000 SUV drivers. Chicks on cell phones are next.
UFO found on beach after tsunami.
Kids still traumatized by Super Bowl wardrobe malfunction.

I'll be watching the game next weekend with a keen eye toward spotting any further sources of future trauma.

Stuff To Do Online (26)

Another list of stuff I've seen in the past week or so.

First, some interesting blogs to read:

I'm starting to read this one more regularly: Grow-a-Brain.
GorillaMask pokes more fun at Ashlee Simpson, not that it's that difficult....
This blogger has started on a list of the top 1,000 things to know. 20 down, 980 to go.
I like the Irish Lass and her list of things to do in California. I've done only 21 so far.
This blogger calls himself the Evil Christian.

You can take quizzes or tests:

How sexy are you?
An IQ test of sorts: determine the correct analogies.
You are a dysfunactional Care Bear. Which one?
Is it too soon to decide what you should be for Halloween?

You can watch amazing or amusing videos:

Salad Fingers is up to a fifth episode. You remember episodes one, two, three and four, right?
Some snoopy girl reveals the truth.
Girl fights don't get old, do they?
The California governor talks about how pumping iron is like having sex all the time. Gray Davis never said crap like this.

You can play games:

This is really cool. Not pron. I got to level 8 in about 30 minutes. I'll work on level nine next weekend.
Squares 2, where you avoid the red squares in favor of the black ones.
So, whatcha got?
This one is interesting: Proximity.
Play Rubik's Cube online.

You can do odd things:

Tickle this scantily clad young lady.
Subservient chickens are better than a subservient president.
Build your own Dubya. Or pick a Kerry, if you prefer.
Look closely to find the three differences between these two photographs.
Build a party, you party person.

You can see strange or interesting stuff:

Find out how you, too, can be a part of the crowd that moons the passing Amtrak trains every July.
Check out these pictures of kids scared shitless by Santa.
An oldie, but a goodie: people who look like their dogs.
Some dude has crowned some half-naked model named Elin Grindemyr "The Hottest Girl Alive." If she was ever on a sitcom, they'd probably have this guy play her husband.
Don't drink milk before clicking this link. If you do, swallow it before you click. Or...just click and shoot the stuff out your nose: Bill Gates posing like a whore for Teen Beat.

You can learn something new:

Which movie deaths were most memorable? Find out here. Feel free to disagree. For example, I think Scarface is way underrated.
Which movies were the most gay? Find out here. Feel free to disagree. For example, is the Birdcage gayer than The Crying Game? I think not.
Fiscal conservatives, what do you think of this running tab on the cost of the war in Iraq?
How to get the most out of your bachelor party strippers.
Oklahoma's football team may be second-best (or worse), but their history and statistics page is second to none.

You can buy strange or wonderful things:

Some poor squirrel's nuts are for sale. Not the kind he buries near a tree, either.
Some guy who would give his left nut for a new tractor is selling said nut on eBay. The family jewels, however, are still not for sale.
For just 62 eBucks, another guy sold the shirt in which he got mugged.
Who in their right mind would want to buy an allegedly possessed clown?
Don't bid on this bracelet, because its seller doesn't know how to deal with eBay listings. Or...bid on it and give him bad feedback just for being an idiot.
(P.S. This is further proof that anti-bullying bracelet wearers are just asking to get their asses beat.)

You can sit and wonder what these people were thinking:

Can you believe that no one bid on this $250,000 pile of Texas snow? Me, too.
You think your job is bad? When has your boss asked you to jerk off a giant-balled pig?
If my mug had pearlies like these people's, I would never part my lips in public.
If you get drunk and pass out at parties, you should make sure you can trust your friends. And if you can't, you should make sure they have no cameras.
Teenage girls and middle-aged men belong together, says this author.
Did you know that queer people have a secret handshake? Watch out, or they will draw you in with their finger moves and you'll end up bent over in a toilet stall.

You can check out a place far, far away via web cam:

Ireland, Dublin, to be precise.
The Oceanside Pier should be getting some good surf this weekend.
The Eyewitness Newscam, from sunny Burbank, California.
The Tetons look good any time of year.

You check out some weird news photos:

Look, coach, no hands.
You know those sponge monkeys who like the moon? Here's a real live one.
Why is it that every inanimate object that has an image similar to a human face have to be Jesus or Mary?
Grizzly Bears shit in the woods. Elephants shit on really big toilets.
Jenna Bush hails Satan, or salutes the University of Texas with a "Hook 'em Horns" move. I'll let you decide.
Mars has meteorites just sitting there on the planet's surface. Pretty cool, huh?
Damn, this is one big ass baby.

Finally, you can read a good bullshit story:

New Microsoft spyware remover will take out that pesky Internet Explorer program.
As everyone knows, the Eiffel Tower is a poorly disguised portal to Hell.
George Washington was actually the 8th President of the United States.
Supreme Court to call it quits if Rehnquist retires.

It must be true if someone wrote it down. Now go do something else before you get an Internet ticket.

Stuff To Do Online (Part 25)

Another list of stuff I've seen in the past week or so.

First, some interesting blogs to read:

Call this one strange, more so than interesting: the trash blog.
Another soldier's blog.
I like this one a lot. The Disney Blog.
The one year bible blog.
A music blog with daily mp3 downloads. Large-Hearted Boy.
The tired Japanese businessman photoblog.
The Evil Alchemist recently complained about getting a raise. I understand. Most people wouldn't.
If he wants a new job, Louise Fletcher's blog might be a good daily read for him.

You can take quizzes or tests:

What is your weirdness quotient?
Would we make a good couple?
What age do you act?
What is your inner faerie?

You can watch amazing or amusing videos:

Super Mario, the true story.
Watch TV in Aruba at any time.
PSA: When in the live studio TV audience, when it gets hot, you take off your sweater at your own peril.
Someone made an interactive urinal that let's you play videogames with your stream o' pee.

You can play games:

Find the space invaders.
Plug the naked dudes in the bushes before they plug you.
Road blocks. A pretty fun time waster.
Follow the ball with your cursor. I made it 38 seconds my first try, cracked the top 2,000 and moved on.

You can do odd or interesting things:

Make a google photo montage.
Translate to and from morse code.
Command the virtual bartender.
This is not quite odd or interesting, but good. Turn in suspected internet child prowlers.

You can see strange or interesting stuff:

National Geographics 2004 Year-in-Pictures.
The same from the Herald Tribune.
And the same from the Seattle Times.
Photographs documenting racism in the South.

You can learn something new:

Good news in 2004.
Find out how to be an extra in a Hollywood movie.
Get Microsoft's new spyware killer.
Find out the tricks of the trade for various trades; maybe even yours.
Does your car secretly record what you do?
Does a panda bear piss in the woods? Of course, but you won't believe how they do it.

You can buy strange or wonderful things:

Buy different things every daily on the daily woot.
How can you buy anything from a box of newspapers to gold coins to human heads?
Bid on eBay for a human body bag. "Use for whatever you like."
Bid on eBay for a big bag of human hair. Hopefully not from the aforementioned bag.
Bid on eBay for a dude to sit on a couch for you for a month straight. A mere $1 million reserve bid.
Bid on eBay for a hot pocket painted with a picture of the devil.
Bid on eBay for a scary portable haunted evil clown house.

You can sit and wonder what these people were thinking:

Some poor fellow named "little penis" isn't being permitted to change his name.
Some movie stars get hospitalized for exhaustion and emerge with less obvious breast enhancements.
Sure, you can eat your own body shape into a giant bread loaf, but is it art?
What's wrong with this picture?

You can check out a place far, far away via web cam:

This is actually a great time of year to look at the Grand Canyon.
It's probably raining in Vancouver.
Want to see ski conditions at Brighton in Utah?
The Matterhorn, and not the one at Disneyland.

You check out some incredible news photos:

Check out a shoreline on Saturn. It's ice, but it's probably made of methane or ethane, not water.
The La Conchita landslide was unbelievable to everyone who didn't remember the one in 1995.
It's not just mud. The rain can dislodge some big ass rocks.
The Utah avalanche was caught by a camera or two.
This dam over the hills from my home was briefly in danger earlier this week.
One good thing about the rain, it makes Los Angeles look pretty, even if only a few times each year.
This fish is uglier than L.A. People say it looks like it has a human face, but I see more of a monkey.

Finally, you can read a good bullshit story.

Bud Selig is going to let batters beat pitchers with their bats if they throw at the hitters' heads.
Lifeguard rescues shark from fat swimmer.
Can't spot gays with your "gaydar?" Maybe you've been blessed instead with "blackdar."
Verizon spokesman sued for making harassing telephone calls asking if people can hear him.

It all sounds like bullshit, but if someone took the time to write it down, it has to be true, right?

Stuff To Do Online (Part 24)

Another list of stuff I've seen in the past week or so.

First, some interesting blogs or bloglike places to read:

Kevin Sites, freelance blog of an NBC journalist. He posts infrequently, but it is interesting when he does.

Even the Amaroids have blogs now. Meet the MLM blog.

I love this site: the found photo web page. It is a random collection of photos found on filesharing systems. Sometimes quite hilarious.

The Happy Heathen. Not all who wander are lost.

You can take quizzes or tests:

How well do you know your penny?

Twenty questions to a better sense of humor.

Which song of 2004 were you?

Are you a geek?

You can watch amazing or amusing videos:

Ernie and Bert, when the cameras aren't around, or so they think.

When your nerves act up, think about turning away from the camera before you, you know.

Apparently, the focus groups didn't like this ending to Clerks.

Waste 20 seconds of your life watching this short animation by the panda haterz.

You can play games:

Give Bush a brain.

If you can figure out this elephant throw game, drop me a comment, because I can't tell what the objective is.

The crash test dummy Olympics.

My kids like these sort of sites: find the U.S. state.

You can do odd things:

Make your own Indian music.

You can be god of the snowglobe people.

You can make your own South Park character. I made mine. It's me watching the sun come up in Miami after a night of celebrating.

Find out what your name would be if you were Japanese.

You can see strange or interesting stuff:

The newest thing for crazy people to enjoy: cluster ballooning.

Watch a bullfight in someone's vacation pictures.

Not safe for work, unless you work at Playboy. It's the Playboy Centerfold History page.

School is hell. From the Life in Hell series.

You can learn something new:

See the best urinals in the world.

Sign up for Sigalert. How to get traffic information that is better than the radio or TV.

Tech Bargains. It's one of the best ways to find good tech stuff at a good price.

The ten worst media distortions of 2004.

You can buy strange or wonderful things:

An orange that supposedly came straight out of the bowl at the Orange Bowl. As of the time of this post, there were no takers at a buck. I, incidentally, had my hands on one of those babies last week, but I passed it along. After, how good will it look on a shelf in 6 months?

Ralphie's house from the film classic, A Christmas Story. Just $99,900.

It's too late now, but you could have bought a T-shirt signed by an armless man.

Furniture with sotrage space inside. Of course, it looks like trailer furniture, but....

You can sit and wonder what these people were thinking:

Someone with lots of time on his hands has made a compendium of every Simpson's episode's initial couch-squeezing scene.

Prayer spam is coming. Prayer spam is coming.

She's a super Cheeto freak.

Jaffe and Jaffe, Existential Detectives. They aren't who they claim to be.

You can check out a place far, far away via web cam:

Newport Beach, right here in the OC. Balboa Pier, to be precise.

The Cayman Islands.

Lake Nacimiento, in California. I used to water ski there in the summertime.

A bar in Phuket.

You check out some weird news photos.

Snow in Las Vegas. Lots of it.

Little cars so small that you save on parking fees.

Santa Claus on holiday.

Oklahoma guys get as close to the national championship trophy as they are going to get.

Finally, you can read a good bullshit story.

To boost philatelic interest and stamp sales, Post Office issuing stamps featuring adult film actresses.

Salma Hayek's breasts inspire new religion.

Ann Coulter exposed as a former man.

Two of every five AOL subscribers don't actually own a computer.

Have fun.

Stuff To Do Online (Part 23)

Another list of stuff I've seen in the past week or so.

First, some interesting blogs to read:

This week, I'm focusing on bloggers who were good enough to link to Triviums, including:

Colleen
Robyn's husband
Casadelogo
David
Silver Screen Test
I Was Fixin2
No Rules Here
Skiegazer
Boynton
Tony Pierce
Grow a Brain
Mike Power

I'm going to add a couple of them to the blogroll.

You can take quizzes or tests:

The Enigmatic Puzzle IQ test.

How pisces are you? I was only 33% pisces. Out of 34593 people the average score was 68%. If you aren't pisces at all, check your zodiac sign here.

What crappy gift are you? I was socks.

Did you take the parasite pals quiz yet?

You can watch amazing or amusing videos:

See this dude show up outside a Hoobastank concert and rip the fans for their awful taste in music.

You can't make it to Tokyo Disneyland to ride Pooh's Hunny Hunt? That's okay, you can experience it here.

you can't make it to Disneyland to ride Splash Mountain? Experience that one here.

Looking to hire the ultimate geek. Check out his animated resume here.

You can play games:

This one is hard to master, and not really worth mastering. Go left, speed up, don't crash.

Russian Affairs. Run through the darkened corridors, shoot down enemy mafia, and question scientists as to where the weapons are.

Girl with gun. This is better than some of the garbage I used to save lunch money to buy at Gemco back in the day. For whatever that's worth.

Reflex is worth a five minute break from more tedious tasks.

You can do odd things:

The reverse dictionary. You know what the word means, but you don't know the word. It's like when you want one of those there whatchamacallits.

eDonkey. It's like Napster 8.0.

Clothe the George W. Bush dressup doll.

Lend your spare computing power to science.

You can see strange or interesting stuff:

If this picture was taken with a digital camera, it is not nearly as funny as it is if the film needed to be developed.

http://arabian-gulf.info/

A page devoted to that grade school magazine that we loved so much: Dynamite.

Life Magazine brings you: 100 photographs that changed the world.

You can learn something new:

Do you buy stuff from the Home Shopping Network. You are getting hosed. If you can't get out, buy form SlickDeals.Net instead.

A CD case, a pen, a clip, some rubber bands and a little know-how. Now you have an unlikely murder weapon.

The newly-update list of Heisman Trophy winners.

Do you remember the Apple II, or the TRS-80? They are somewhere on this site devoted to old computers.

You can buy stuff:

A pen that is also a dual head screwdriver.

The loserboy's equivalent of losergirl's boyfriend-pillow. The girlfriend lap-pillow.

The funkadelic aquarium.

I'd forgotten all about this game, which I loved as a kid.

You can sit and wonder what these people were thinking:

Here is some guy making an ass out of himself, and thinking it clever.

Donald Sterling's deposition spells out his love for call girl sex.

What childhood trauma would lead someone to enter the field of anal wart research, or to become a tampon squeezer? Because it isn't big bucks leading people to accept the job offer.

The misguided zealots who produce Chick's tracts want you to give out creepy born-again propaganda instead of Halloween candy. Example given, "most people go to hell" because they believe science. I waited to post this, lest someone in my neighborhood read it and decide to give this stuff to my little witches on Halloween.

You can puzzle over why these twins were not raised together:

That dude from the picture linked above and cartoon character Chuck Laylo.

Nelly Furtado and Courtney Cox Arquette.

Dr. Zaius and Rush Limbaugh.

You can check out a place far, far away via web cam:

See where the Norwegian Cruise Line has its many vessels. I love checking the Spirit of Aloha, which I want to cruise on next year.

Sticking with the Norwegian theme, here are some webcams in Oslo, Norwegia Norway.

Having been there once before, I might be here at Hog's Breath Bar & Grill on New Year's Eve. Then again, maybe not.

I've been here, too: the Tokyo Tower.

You check out some weird news photos:

The artwork which might have slipped onto the network coverage of the Olympics, triggering an FTC indecency investigation.

Like Tara Reid, Kate Beckinsale should keep all parts of her boobies hidden. Boobie stretch marks are not attractive.

A portrait of our president, made out of smaller portraits of chimps. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Imagine for a moment, if you will, that you are 8 years old and holding a camera. Would you have the poise to take this picture? Or would you scream and run away?

Finally, you can read a good bullshit story.

Find out about the site of an ancient nuclear bomb blast zone.

Some blues singer is suing his shrink for taking away his blues.

With the U2 success, iPod has a bunch of new themed products, such as the R. Kelly iPod, which only plays music that is less than 14 years old.

And, if this one is true, I'd love to see it in person. Part lion, part tiger, it's a Liger. Or a lie, grr.

Stuff To Do Online (Part 22)

Another list of stuff I've seen in the past week or two.

First, some monkey stuff:

I'm running out of monkey stuff, but I still have monkeehub.

Your kids will want to do these Mojo Jojo crafts.

And finally, Mr. Monkey's Home Page.

That might be all the monkey stuff I look for this year.

There are always another few interesting blogs to read:

A soldier's blog. I don't know how a soldier finds the time to blog, but if lawyers can do it, I guess soldiers can, too. The same, sadly, goes for shooting people.

Not all who wander are lost.

Accordion Guy is still blogging.

This isn't necessarily a "blog" per se, but it's like a cartoon blog. It's called "Mom's Cancer." I have nothing snippy to say about it.

You can take quizzes or tests:

Do you know which urinal can be safely used? [BTW, I do not necessarily agree with all of the answers in this one. There are some scenarios in which the answer should be "You are SOL. Wait until the situation improves."]

Do you have good gaydar? Test it in the mirror, so to speak.

What kind of blogger are you? It's not a rhetorical question.

Take the personality disorder test. I'm okay. You're pretty whacked, it would seem.

You can watch amazing or amusing videos:

The foul-mouthed Winnebago man.

The Dubya Movie.

A--hole, A--hole, A--hole.

It isn't exactly new, but that story about digging armor from the scrap dump reminded me of this clip.

You can play games:

This game is very educational. If you are two. If you suck at it, I hope you have a bad mouse.

Frosty and Santa throw down.

This gets old quickly. The zombie infection simulator.

The cursor reversor.

You can do odd things:

Whack your boss. There are so many ways.

Compete in the geography Olympics.

Make your own monster attack html. I did.

Make a Stor Trooper.

You can see strange or interesting stuff:

Find the black dot. Or dots.

Even a month after the election, this spoof Kerry radio ad is still funny.

The astronomy photo of the day. Link goes to Jupiter's passage behind the moon.

High-resolution photos of Disneyland.

You can learn something new:

Find a use for those old vinyl records -- like a bowl for chips.

How to tell if your spouse is cheating.

One list of college football's annual mythical national champions.

Looking for free wifi? Here's a list of hotspots.

You can buy strange or wonderful things:

This is more strange than wonderful. 2004 Yankee AL Championship apparel.

Brass knuckles for the new millenium.

I don't know where one would wear this, and I don't want to know. (Not quite SFW)

If you don't drink and drive anymore, and can barely remember what it felt like, this will refresh your recollection.

You can sit and wonder what these people were thinking:

Seriously sorry looking bunny dude.

The dude who did a pudding strike to protest the NFL.

The tow-truck/crane that needed a tow-truck/crane.

SpongeBusDriver SquarePants.

You can puzzle over why these twins were not raised together:

Slap some glasses on him and former Gator coach Ron Zook would look right at home asking you for TPS reports.

Popeye Jones and Shrek.

Peter Gammons and Paul McCartney.

But you know who don't look like each other? Viktor Yushchenko in June 2004 and Viktor Yushchenko in November 2004. (¡Ay, Caramba!)

You can read a good bullshit story:

Hire an extreme accountant.

Wal-Mart announces massive roll-back of wages.

O'Reilly outsources phone sex to India.

Disneyland building new park in Chechnya.

Finally, you can check out a place far, far away via web cam:

The Empire State cam.

Port Canaveral cam.

It isn't live, but here's Santa, from Scandinavia.

The North Pole has a webcam. It'll be dark for a few more months. But it'll be back.

Stuff To Do Online (Part 21)

Another list of stuff I've seen in the past week or so.

First, some monkey stuff:

Join the B.J. and the Bear fan club.

Check out some monkey news. In this scene, cold monkeys huddle together for warmth. And this little monkey has tasty fingers and ears you can almost see through.

There are always another few interesting blogs to read:

Free is better, but cheap it good. Check out cheap stingy bastard.

Taillights fade. This blog is pretty good and finding all those pictures that prove that Britney Spears is just another chunk of white trash with a good makeup artist and some name recognition.

I kind of miss the SaveMaryKate blog. Those nasty cease-and-desist letters ruined a good thing.

I love poker blogs. Poker Wannabe is the latest I found.

You can take quizzes or tests:

20 questions to a better personality.

How evil are you?

Do you know the difference between a Tom Cruise movie and a gay porno?

The smartest person in the world contest.

You can watch amazing or amusing videos:

You think our politicians are dirty, check out these Taiwanese legislators bitch-slapping each other.

In Iran, the politicians are united. Death to America! Death to America!

A fantastic spoof: Michael Moore's 9/11 "documentary" meets Lord of the Rings.

John Edwards sure does love his hair.

You can play games:

Place the state. It's a lot easier when you draw some coastal states first. My best score: 94%, 232 seconds, 6 miles.

A Simpsons Themed "Who wants to be a Millionaire?"

Jumpin' Mini.

The Enchanted Maze Garden.

You can do odd things:

You've all seen those pictures made up of lots of little pictures. Now you can make them youself with this cool little program.

Make your own hell. Fill it with candidates. Tell us about it.

The Virtual Keyboard is pretty cool, but...

The Virtual Bartender rocks.

You can see strange or interesting stuff:

See the world. Where is the sunlight? Where is the darkness? Where are the clouds? Right now, I mean.

Hey, a dead bird isn't funny. Don't laugh, you a-hole.

The cursor clock. I love it.

Is it fun to get drunk and pass out? Well, it's certainly more fun than waking up to find out that your drinking buddies aren't really your friends. [Semi-SFW]

You can learn something new:

Why is a fast racehorse so fast?

Find some really good bargains by starting at Fat Wallet.

Learn how to scare the hell out of people with statistics.

Get a review on almost any make of car.

You can buy strange or wonderful things on eBay:

An all expenses trip to LA to spend the day with Trishelle. The reserve price was apparently more than the fair market value.

For a mere $15,000, you could have bought the lyrics to a love song that the author was really, really proud of. It ended with no bidders. That's about as shocking as Anna Nicole showing up in public, drunk or stoned.

Some idiot paid money to register "virgin-mary-grilled-cheese.com" and is selling the domain name on eBay. Will another asshat pay more than cost for it? And why pay $999,999,999 for the grilled cheese with a bite taken out of it when, for a fraction of the cost, you can get one with no toothmarks. Be forewarned, these links won't last.

This one was even better than the Virgin Mary cheese stuff. Guy named "Cocky Dude" lists "Toshiba Satellite A-30 Laptop" for sale. Bottom line of listing says "you are bidding on a picture of my new laptop which will be sent via email." Listing closes at £625.00. Winning bidder turns out to have a better sense of humor than Cocky Dude. Leaves bad feedback, reporting: No pic yet, maybe he's waiting for the photo of the cheque to clear ? ;) SCAMMER

You can sit and wonder what these people were thinking:

Bad boob job: It looks like Tara Reid got one of those "rip the nipples off and sew 'em back on" boob jobs. She should sue the pants off her plastic surgeon, but she won't, because George Bush would have her imprisoned as part of his tort reform package. [NSFW]

Creepy stop-action animation using those Real Doll fake women. [Semi-SFW]

All those Michael Moore bittermen looking to move to Canada are looking for northern wives.

If I had massive fleshy man-breasts like this guy, I would never have to leave the house again. But I would never put my shirtless photos on the Internets, either.

You can puzzle over why these twins were not raised together:

This blogger sure looks a lot like Milton from Office Space. In fact, he looks more like Milton than the actor who played Milton.

This little monkey reminds me of Rollie Fingers.

Old and busted: Denise Richards (ruined by Charlie Sheen) [SFW]

New hotness: Adriana Lima (the angel from Victoria's Secret) [Semi-SFW]

You can check out some very strange news photos:

Of course, the Virgin Mary Grilled Cheese. An instant pop culture icon.

The 56-year-old who just had twins. Someone thinks she's a gilf.

Rhino porn.

Another shot of those Great White Sharks that jump out of the water like Shamu.

And you can check out a place far, far away via web cam:

We don't really have seasons here. The sycamore leaves just turn brown and die. If I want fall color, I have to turn to a Vermont webcam or something.

For some winter goodness, it doesn't hurt to check out the French Alps.

Do you miss summer yet? It's almost there at Triggs Beach in Australia.

I like the NBC6 webcams. One of them shows Pro Player Stadium, which, of course, is where I want to be in January, watching the Orange Bowl.

Stuff To Do Online (Part 20)

Another list of stuff I've seen in the past week or so.

First, some monkey stuff:

First, you need to learn all about gorillas.

Then you will be qualified to buy and wear gorilla shirts from here.

Read about the buyer of 100 dead monkeys.

Bart Simpson's Legend of the Blue Monkeys.

There are always another few interesting blogs to read:

This guy might deserve to go on the blogroll, because I've been reading the Irish Trojan quite regularly.

The truth in advertising folks should have no complaint about the name of this blog: The Dullest Blog in the World.

There be a blog for the Tour de France, which is not that remarkable. What is remarkable is that it has a year-round subject matter.

I added College Ball to the blog roll. It will become an increasingly good read as we make our way toward March Madness™.

You can take quizzes or tests:

I don't remember if I posted the link to this personality test before.

Which Nigerian spammer are you?

Even if you don't know what faith you are, Belief-O-Matic™ knows. I thought I was Roman Catholic. I might not be.

What is your pirate name?

You can watch amazing or amusing videos:

President Bush and his one finger victory salute.

Do you remember reading about the Kryptonite locks that could be picked with a Bic pen? Download or open a video demonstrating how effortless the picking is.

This is just an mp3, but I loved it. The most evil crank call in a long time. We have to let Bob go.

Toohey's commercial.

You can play games:

Touch the black. Dodge the red.

Is your hand steady enough to get past the second level?

This is great. It's like that one motorcycle racing game from the arcades that I can't remember.

Trampoline jumping.

You can do odd things:

Make your cursor disappear. Note: this one goes down a lot.

Kill the popups, kill the popups.

The dyslexic's alphabet board nightmare.

Rate the opposite sex applying this standard: how many beers would it take?

You can see strange or interesting stuff:

If this is not the Lousiana state quarter, it should be.

Tell your kids: its not a giant mutant fly from the center of the Earth. It's just a bug that landed on the volcano webcam.

Check out this forest walking machine thingy. It's better for the environment than a bulldozer.

This is a pleasing image, as long as you keep the cursor from going any farther than 1/8 inch into the happy face.

You can learn something new:

Like, how many calories did I just burn with that sex act?

Admit it, your life would be better if you knew how well the Sheffield United Football Club was doing.

This is a somewhat flippant guide to scrotum safety.

How to hook up when you are in Japan. The domain name is "pen is mightier", not "penis mightier."

You can buy strange or wonderful things:

Prosthetic testicles, it turns out, are big business. And you know who would make a great spokesman? Ellen DeGeneres.

If your online poker game features more bad players than you have time to beat, you can use a poker bot.

The Floating Bed. If you like it, buy it now, before they go out of business.

You sweaty construction types probably wish you could find a good kilt to wear to work, don't you?

You can sit and wonder what these people were thinking:

This guy worries way too much about his penis. Way too much.

Old and Busted: Tattoos. New Hotness: Carving grooves of meaningless patterns into your arms.

A fascinating collection of dogs whose owners hate them. When I say "woof," I mean "I hate you."

Homely poser pirate with an eye patch says: "This page is about me and why everything I like is great. If you disagree with anything you find on this page, you are wrong." If that's right, then I must be sooooo wrong.

You can puzzle over why these twins were not raised together:

Ex-pro wrestler George "The Animal" Steele and Tim Conway.

Michael Jackson and Joan Crawford.

Tobey Maguire and Jake Gyllenhaal.

You can read strange news stories that your local news clowns aren't reporting:

Barely literate "artist" Maria Alquilar misspelled the names of famous people in world history on a large ceramic mosaic outside Livermore's new library, and so agreed to come back and fix it, then changed her mind, declaring: "The art chose the words."

Drive on the wrong side of the road, kill someone, and you might get charged with murder.

People who used to earn a living stripping flesh from dead things may soon find that their jobs have been outsourced to flesh-eating beetles.

Bob Dole may be very happy about the discovery of Viagra, but even happier are the deer, snakes and seals that no longer have their penises hunted by New Zealanders who used to sell said members to flaccid Chinese men.

You can check out a place far, far away via web cam:

Yosemite has a new webcam.

Catalina Island, off the coast of Southern California.

Another Orlando webcam, this one shows Epcot.

Here's a live view of the Sandia Mountains in Albuquerque, New Mexico.

Finally, you can crank these spammers and scammers.

I got an email purporting to be from pornstar Mercedes Ashley. The number was (800) 275-5336 x0231046. It wanted me to go to http://216.130.173.158 and login with my personal financial information and passwords. Instead, I just called the 800 number a few times from a pay phone while I was waiting around with time to kill. It cost 'em a few nickels.

Revenue.net is one of those companies that advertise with the asshats who secretly install spyware on your computer. "We offer a sophisticated banner network that can be user targeted by channel and keyword and is automatically and continuously optimized using our RevenueNET optimization technology," say they. And they do it by commandeering your computer. They are located at 818 W. 7th St., Suite 700, Los Angeles CA 90017. Their fax number is (213) 892.1214. Send them some unsolicited faxes and let them know what you think.

MyDishNow also advertises with the asshats who secretly install spyware on your computer. Send them some spam at [email protected].

You and your computer are making the world a better place.

Stuff To Do Online (Part 19)

Thanks to my newly upgraded typepad account, I can write these things up all at once and then post one every day for a week without even touching my computer. So here's another list of stuff to do online that I've seen in the past few weeks.

First, some monkey stuff:

The website says chunky monkey. I missed the monkey.

US scientists have taught a monkey to operate a robotic arm to feed itself using only the power of its thoughts.

Researchers have found a link between mesothelioma and a monkey virus that contaminated polio vaccines. President Bush says that any link must be the result of frivolous lawsuits by greedy trial attorneys.

Still no confirmation on cloned humans, but it looks like one firm has replicated a monkey.

There are always another few interesting blogs to read:

This poker blogger is becoming one of my favorites. e.g.: On October 29, 2003, my wife and I were given the greatest gift a person can ever receive - my son was born. I know, some of you were probably thinking were given a copy of "Super System" or I won a sattelite entry to the WSOP or something like that. Dude is too into poker, but who am I to judge?

Another interesting one is Palm Addict. When I was in 8th grade, a palm addict was someone who spanked his naughty little monkey too often. Today, it means people who are constantly finding new uses for their pda. It has links to news, freeware, user tips and lots of other goodness. It's updated many times a day, too.

Anonymous Lawyer: Stories from the trenches, by a fictional hiring partner at a large law firm in a major city.

And my new blog: Three Bits o Trivia, at http://lexicon.typepad.com/triviums/. And yes, I know that trivium is not the single unit word for trivia (as in the stadium, stadia rule). The trivium consists of the three subjects in the lower division of the seven liberal arts: grammar, rhetoric, and logic. I like the word in that context anyway.

You can take quizzes or tests:

Test your knowledge of all things football and Guinness.

How evil are you?

Which golden girl are you?

Try the world's smallest political quiz.

You can watch amazing or amusing videos:

How to tell that you are way to into your technology.

This week's video of a skateboarder breaking his board with his scrotum can be found here.

This is just incredible. It is not a fake; it's a real wave. The surfer is Mike Parsons. This was the winning wave in the XXL Competition at Jaws.

Them: Ten guys with nothing better to do than a live-action ripoff of that stupid badger animation.
You: The person with nothing better to do than watch ten guys with nothing better to do than a live-action ripoff of that stupid badger animation.

You can play games:

Free online poker, here or here.

Donkey con.

The very brief Target Shooter.

Nucleus. Whatever.

You can do odd things:

The interactive Halloween House camweb.

Torture George W. Bush. Or John F. Kerry.

Find a Connecticut lawsuit online. While you're there, see if there are any frivolous flu vaccine lawsuits.

Make anagrams with the Internet anagram server.

You can see strange or interesting stuff:

This website features some scary Halloween costumes for kids. Not so much because of their political leanings, but because kids shouldn't have politics thrust upon them so hard that they want to be political speech for Halloween.

I love these Hi-Def pictures of the Grand Canyon.

Today's front pages. 334 front pages from 41 countries presented alphabetically.

Watch this radio prank, where a straight guy in the studio gets blindfolded and cops a feel of some other dude's man-breasts.

You can learn something new:

Just in time for Halloween: How to make a toga. How to make some other last second Halloween costumes.

Just in time for the election. How does the Electoral College work?

How to make kitty litter cake. An edible version.

I thought this thing was a bad idea, but it won't come back to haunt us for tens of thousands of years. The Voyager Craft's message to the Universe on a golden CR-rom. All you ever wanted to know about it.

You can buy strange or wonderful things:

It's not as good for Halloween as a real scare crow, but these eyeball things are supposedly pretty effective with the crows.

So your kid wants to be a pimp for Halloween? Or a whoopie cushion?

On eBay, you could have bid on the Holy Grail of Collectable Computers - Apple-1 CPU, but you didn't.

I'm not sure what you can get with these online tokens.

You can sit and wonder what these people were thinking:

A crazy chef in London may have ruined his career by accusing a well-to-do patron (who just spent almost $1,000 on dinner) of stealing a spoon.

There are tattoos that are kind of gay, and then there are tattoos that as as gay and they can get. (NSFW)

At this website, the government brags about and demonstrates all the different brilliant ways people tried to smuggle drugs and stuff, but got caught. Meanwhile, if you are still smuggling contraband the old-fashioned ways, this website can really improve your game.

A species of bamboo that flowers once every 48 years is causing everyone in parts of north-eastern India to fear an increase in rats, famine and unrest. And they are probably giving you technical support on your Service Pack 2 upgrade.

You can puzzle over why these twins were not raised together:

Molly Culver and Geena Davis.

Alleged wife killer Scott Peterson and Jeremy Piven.

Baltimore Ravens coach Brian Billick and Marshall Bell (Kuato from Total Recall)

Young Anthony Daniels (C3PO) and John Cusack.

You can check out a place far, far away via web cam:

The shark tank at Monterey Bay Aquarium.

Mikie's funhouse in Del Mar, California.

Melbourne, Australia.

Melbourne, Florida.

Finally, you can read a good bullshit story.

Why we need strong laws in favor of patients victimized by medical malpractice. The botched nose job/sex change operation.

The idiot's guide to seducing your grade school teacher.

And the ultimate cautionary tale: Man loses penis in bear trap.

Stuff To Do Online (Part 18)

Another list of stuff I've seen in the past week or so.

First, some monkey stuff:

Did you know that there is a real monkey jail?

Tired of giving people ordinary hugs? Send 'em a monkey hug instead.

Steve the Spider Monkey will teach you about spider monkeys.

Check out this monkey photo gallery. Don't look at the unhung Orangutan, though. He strikes an indecent pose.

There are always another few interesting blogs to read:

This one calls himself the dirty monkey.

Another cool music blog, Royal Music.

This fine Trojan has a blog that follows, among other things, the Trojan football team.

If you have bad taste in music, you can go here to be insulted.

The Right Thinking Girl offers interesting views. She'd probably be an interesting coffee drinking partner.

I found out that I am listed on a site that values my bjournal. It's not even worth ten hours of my time. [sigh] And someone calling himself the Geek claims to own a bunch of it. WTF? Over.

You can take quizzes or tests:

Yet another classic IQ test.

What is your DJ name? I am DJ Bent Jelly.

Which Muppet's dark secret are you? I was the Count's obsessive-compulsive disorder.

From bad to worse. Which is the worst?

Try any of several quizzes at Modesty Panel. My favorite: Is it art or is it crap? Second favorite: Is it a snack or is it crap?

If you can't do well on either of those two, you may not decorate my home or make me dinner.

You can watch amazing or amusing videos:

See the new ending to the Return of the Jedi.

Creepy animation of domestic violence-wracked family. "Til Death Do Us Part."

I'd never heard of this movie, but the trailer is worth watching. Run, Ronnie, Run. (I doubt that renting the movie will now be necessary).

One of those [NSFW] Girls Gone Wild videos. The little dude behind the half-nekked girls seems to be having trouble understanding what is going on in his pants.

You can play games:

You be Hulk.

You be sniper.

This is the littlest, crappiest version of pong I've ever seen.

Reversi. This one pissed me off in about ten seconds. YMMV.

Joust. The 2004 Election version.

You can do odd things:

Take your pick, at My Pet Skeleton.

Playing with digital paper dolls is almost fun if you are starting with Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

I haven't figured this noisemaker out, but I'm sure there is a point to it.

Now that you know your DJ name, you can actually be a DJ.

Protect the cursor.

You can see strange or interesting stuff:

This is worth the price of reading it. 10 Things to Do For Free in Las Vegas.

Brittney scores another truly bizarre observation. Sometimes you're the deer, sometimes you're the dog. Sometimes, you're the disturbingly apathetic photographer who watches a deer mount your male dog right in front of a stack of deer antlers.

It's a world o freaks. Check 'em out.

Check out these twisters.

If you are a parent, and you buy this squirtgun for your kid, you are an idiot.

This page features a bunch of modern subjects done in the style of classic artists.

You can learn something new:

What is the statute of limitations for your claim?

What kind of temperament does your baby have? It could be a sign of his or her future emotional health.

Are there other planets like Earth?

Wanna know more about my kids' hometown of Irvine?

One Bush supporter offers these 10 reasons to re-elect the President.

Nerds are not popular. Here's the underlying science.

You can buy strange or wonderful things:

The scariest Halloween mask of the year. Child molester. (Allegedly)

A paintable miniature ceramic cow.

A complete shopping list of stuff you'll need if you are going to jail.

The ultimate capitalist scourge: someone selling coins minted from silver recovered from the WTC. This link is intended for informational purposes only. I do not endorse these disgusting opportunists.

Clever T-shirt: "I'm sure you're quite charming on the Internet."

The book that proves that we've already had five black presidents. Hey, if Babe Ruth was black, I suppose it's possible.

You can sit and wonder what these people were thinking:

The Votergasm people are quite odd.

The art of reading slow. Recommended for the "Slow Children at Play" that those signs always warn us about.

A good discussion of why Britney Spears is a freak.

The world apparently needs an organization that supports gay and lesbian people who water ski.

If you are famous, and you tip like a homeless person, your name will end up here.

Science doesn't have a name for them yet, but there are people who enjoy getting taped to walls and ceilings.

You can puzzle over why these twins were not raised together:

Dan Rather and actor Lane Smith.

Actors Michael Ironside (Richter from Total Recall) and James Gandolfino (Tony Soprano).

Actors Adam Arkin and George Clooney.

Or you can read a good bullshit story:

Stresses destroy people's ability to control and hamper time.

Mysterious new disease turns big-breasted babes into flat-chested females.

Organizers fear terrorist attacks at upcoming Al-Qaeda political convention.

The U.S. Constitution is a fake!

That last one freaked me out, so I'm going to go plan for the upcoming constitutional crisis. Luckily for me, the ban on assault weapons has been lifted.

Stuff To Do Online (Part 17)

Another list of stuff to do online.

First, some monkey stuff:

You can buy a japanese video of the famous Monkey movie.

You can read about sexually frustrated monkeys getting satisfaction by shocking zoo visitors into dropping their cigarettes, then bumming the smoke off 'em.

This guy isn't a monkey, but he looks like one.

The official website for Mojo-Jojo, the nemesis of the Power Puff Girls.

There are always another few interesting blogs to read:

The Orlando Sentinel did a news blog during Charley's crossing.

Ariel Meadow has a test to answer that question: Are you electrolicious? I got 40 points, "well on [my] way to electroliciousness." Pretty good for a stuffy Republican trial lawyer.

Cranky Greg cracks me up again with his tales of Beavis-like adventures in astronomy class.

With a name like Two Dumb Blondes, I was expecting something different than an ordinary young French mother.

For more international flavor, Irish Eyes is a good read. It makes me long for a pint of Guinness.

You can take quizzes or tests:

If you play poker, you want to be able to spot the fish. If you are just a person who reads emails, you need to know how to spot the phish.

Is that a dog toy, or a marital aid?

Old and busted: Am I hot or am I not?
New hotness: Am I fugly?

I am part of the 2%. I came up with an answer that, shall we say, a Nebraska fan might have come up with.

You can watch video:

The best home run video of 2004.

A clip from the Family Guy: Bad Roaches.

These guys built a chair that would fit in a FedEx box. It's not that interesting, but not a huge time investments.

This is pretty lame: Banana phone.

I remember my aunt showing me this on VHS years ago and laughing so hard she almost coughed up a lung. It wasn't that funny, but it's amusing. The farting preacher.

This animation is creepy: Salad Fingers. There is, of course, a sequel.

The Rockfish episode.

A very good reason not to smoke. Or, for that matter, not to go outside.

Another All Your Base Are Belong to Us thingy.

You can play games:

Survive as a soap bubble.

Eskiv.

Disney games.

Shoot into the spinning circles.

This is the best. Gorillazs features this driving thing. I could do this for hours, if I had hours.

You can try some activities:

When you are bored, you can just hit ubored.com and find a million things to do.

Find the hidden picture. I apologize in advance.

Check out the time capsule. What happened on this day?

Unwrap a mummy.

Make your own movie.

Pick a page with a jpg and make a kaleidoscope out of it.

You can see strange or interesting stuff:

I know some of you would rather see a burning Bush, but I can bring you the dancing Bush.

Check out these dramatic weather photos.

ESPN's 25 favorite sports commercials.

The Satanic Kerry Hamsterdance.

Dirt surfing, the new crazy extreme sport.

Funny photos from the recent Olympics.

Running totals of tons of things worth tracking on Earth. e.g., total world human population, 6,420,342,001 as of the moment of this post.

It's not my bag, baby, but here's a site with about a trillion photos of cats.

You can learn something new:

How to fry tomatoes, link courtesy of Don Nunn.

Do you know the real reason Michael Moore has submitted Fahrenheit 9/11 for the best picture award in the general film category, rather than the best documentary category? Because documentaries are not supposed to be fiction. Here's a list of 59 bullshit lies told by the fat man in his movie.

PETA might not like it, but if you have skin problems, I won't fault you if you kill a shark and take his bile. Shark bile is good for your skin.

George Lucas wants more billions. More billions are more important than the original oath to never film the final three episodes of the nine-part Star Wars saga. Solution: Lucas will make the movies. Harrison Ford and Mark Hamill to start hunting sharks immediately.

Who are the most influential Christians in America? Start, of course, with George Bush.

As it turns out, you can fall 11,500 feet without dying. People who died after falling off second story balconies must be feeling pretty stupid right about now.

The finest reputation as a college for quarterbacks belongs to Miami. USC is 8th.

Transparent aluminum is almost here.

A gold mine of data regarding airplane crashes. For example, Quantas has never crashed. But you knew that.

You can buy strange or wonderful things:

You missed out on a chance to pay $400 for a missing doggy poster Paris Hilton slapped on a telephone pole. Then again, if you swipe her dog, there will probably be more for the taking.

You can buy a yearbook that features a picture of me, as a freshman, sitting in the senior square.

You can buy a copy of GoodFellas, autographed by Henry Hill. But hurry, before he gets whacked.

You can buy an anatomically correct (if somewhat exaggerated) monkey costume.

You can add to your collection of athletic Jesus figurines.

You missed out on the 14K White Gold Claddagh ring for $300, but if you hurry, you can read the sad, sad, story behind the sale.

Do you use Stamps.com? If so, you can buy stamps with your picture on them. Or the Unabomber's.

If you really love the Renaissance Fair, you can buy an entire Renaissance Festival, land included. But your bid better beat $1,199,300.00 (which did not meet the reserve).

You can sit and wonder what these people were thinking:

You would invest with a firm that plans to use time travel to boost your return?

Some loser is willing to be your best friend, if you pay him.

These people are proud to molest statues.

Every year, more and more people are attached a shitpotfull of balloons to lawn chairs so they can fly.

How unobservant must you be to let your skin grow over the ring on your finger?

You can puzzle over why these twins were not raised together:

Mel Brooks and Lee Corso.

Amy Jo Johnson and Jennifer Garner.

Woody Harrelson and Eagle Colo. District Attorney Mark Hurlbert.

Texas running back Cedric Benson and former Texas running back Ricky Williams.

You can check out a place far, far away via web cam:

Daytona Beach.

Celebration, Florida. (I assume the bovine knew about this one, but I found it on my very own.)

Duvall Street in Key West (streets are emtpier than normal with Ivan coming)

The Jamaica webcam is showing reruns (seriously) because of Ivan.

That's not all you can do online, but it's a start.

Stuff To Do Online (Part 16)

I've been watching I Love the 90s shows on VH-1.

I was amused by I Love the 70s run. I remember the 70s. They were amusing.

I was addicted to I Love the 80s and I Love the 80s Strikes Back. I came of age in the 80s. I absorbed the 80s. I sometimes continue to live in the 80s.

But the 90s? I became a parent in the 90s. Consequently, I wasn't paying attention to pop culture at all times. The Big Lebowski? Never saw it. Master P? Never knew 'im. If I knew who Laura Palmer was, I might care about who killed her. The Real World, The Bodyguard, Billy Ray Cyrus? I paid no attention. Point Break? Is that the crappy movie that featured Keanu Reeves yelling "I... am an F...B...I...agent!"? It sucked. Kris Kross never made me jump. I never played Mortal Kombat. Polly Pockets? I thought those were brand new.

I never knew how to dance the Macarena. I never rode "the train." Manolo Blahniks? Was that a person, a place, or a thing? I was too busy studying for the bar exam, and being a Laker fan, to notice that Michael Jordan was about to win 6 rings in 8 years. The 90s were the years that KROQ began to suck. I cannot wax nostalgic for the 90s. It's too recent, and I wasn't paying much attention in the first place.

Now, however, I try to keep my finger on the pulse. Here's another list of cool, strange or interesting stuff I've found on the web. In ten years, you might be watching it on I Love the 00s.

First, some monkey stuff:

A stupid fake monkey video.

The dance of the sea monkeys. They don't really look much like monkeys, do they?

Mr. Monkey's list of famous monkeys.

This page is disgusting. Using the butt scratching monkey video to promote a product. How crass!

There are always another few interesting blogs to read:

Robert Brown's A Work in Progress.

Ariel asks "Are You Electrolicious?" Um, I don't know. How can I tell?

Bluishorange is in Ecuador.

If you use the Random Blog Entry Generator, yours won't be making my list of links.

You can take quizzes or tests:

Are you ready to get married? [No! No one ever is. You just do it.]

How much do you know about the American Presidents.

Which South Park character are you?

Which happy bunny are you?

You can watch amazing or amusing videos:

Only Dave could get away with a show about the Niggar family.

Little Natalie Gilbert's most triumphant moment becomes her embarrassing moment.

Homeless guy with a sense of humor shows off his bad ass ride.

This is an oldie, but a goodie from the surface of the f*cking moon. "Houston, we are on the f*ucking moon. Are you f*cking believing this? Over."

You can play games:

This one is going to give me nightmares. The spiders are coming! The spiders are coming!

Don't you dare sink my battleship.

A nice version of Pac Man.

Shoot rubber bands at your co-workers.

You can do odd things:

Do your own virtual knee surgery.

Your kids will like this interactive coloring book.

Get rated. Sadly, young teenagers can get rated here. At least they aren't naked.

Mark's apology note generator can help you write a sincere apology without any effort at all.

You can see strange or interesting stuff:

The Euphemism Generator can create up to 198,211,143 unique phrases.

Give your favorite celebrity a goatee.

This interactive face is amusing for at least 15 seconds.

Some people really dig their faggots.

You can learn something new:

Here's an explanation of where dingos come from.

Science may have finally found a reliable shark repellent.

So, you had a one-in-a-million experience today? There are 294 people just as lucky, or unlucky, as you.

Bust these computer myths.

You can buy strange or wonderful things:

The beer belt.

The pizza box laptop case.

Catch your spouse or, um, companion, cheating.

Tired of round watermelons? Try a square one. Or a pyramid.

You can sit and wonder what these people were thinking:

This strange person grades little kids' artwork. Harshly.

P.E.T.A. has launched an anti-milk campaign. Penn & Teller had a pretty funny show about those morons this week.

The knitters have come together to oppose the re-election of President Bush.

This guy found that a good way to build readership is to get google to associate your site with the phrase "Britney Spears Nude." I wouldn't stoop to his level.

You can read very strange news stories that your local news clowns aren't reporting:

Remember that horny Tigger who was accused of groping a 15-year-old girl? Acquitted.

Canada doesn't want any of those Mexican chicks coming north by falsely claiming to be talented strippers. So they are making applicants provide photos of themselves with no clothes on to qualify for a visa for Canada. And if you want to apply for a job reviewing those applications, the end of the line is waaaayyyy back there!

Cruise-ship passengers were awakened at 3:45 a.m. by a call over the vessel's public-address system to "abandon ship." Some thought it was funny; others thought it was not so funny.

More Nigerian scammers getting scammed.

You can check out a place far, far away via web cam:

Galveston has several webcams around town.

The Mount St. Helens webcam is still not back up.

Six out of seven Moscow webcams I found are busted. This one works.

Some webcams move. Like this webcam aboard the M/S Nordkapp, or this bridge webcam aboard the Golden Princess, which is currently headed for Aruba. Mmmmm. Aruba.