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Spring and Fall 2010 Linkin' Log

Here's my complete list of funny or interesting links in the demiblog this spring and fall:

• Mother Has Just Weeks to Live After Being Denied Cancer Drug. Remember, Though, "Death Panels" Do Not Exist.
• Rahm Emanuel's rent-free D.C. apartment was owned by BP adviser
• Poll: BP Oil Spill Rated Worse Than Hurricane Katrina
• Gender Segregation by the Clock. Do Men Make More Because They Work Longer, Tougher Hours?
• Was Barack Obama In the 1993 Music Video For 'Whoomp (There It Is)'? [Check the 1:03 mark]
• Homeowners angry about lower priced homes
• Representative Fudge Seeks To Restrict Ethics Panel That Targeted Her Top Aide
• Dick Morris: Obama doesn’t have a clue
• ACLU Sides with American Flag Wearers on Cinco de Mayo
• Krauthammer: Whose Blowout Is It, Anyway? [Blame Greenies?]
• Pelosi still addicted to "Blame Bush"
• Old and Busted: BP Spill as "Obama's Katrina". New hotness: BP Spill as "Obama’s Iran hostage crisis"
• As U.S. embraces Canadian model, soaring costs force Canada to reassess their own health model
• Do not 'f**king touch" the Bieber
• WH used Clinton to get Sestak out of Pa. race. Apparently, this is a big f*cking deal.
• Old and Busted: "The bigger they are, the harder they fall." New hotness: This
• Fixing oil disaster my responsibility, Obama says, hours after BP reports stoppage of gusher
• Liberal gay activists are now obviously racist, rude hate-filled lying Republicans, since only racist, rude hate-filled lying Republicans heckle the president.
• Private wages sink to new lows
• Another Democrat from a jurisdiction with a law just like AZ's 1070 decries the passage of 1070
• Obama succeeds where Bush failed: In denying prisoners the right to habeas corpus
• There is no more Lima Time
• Chris Bosh wish list down to five teams
• Old and Busted: Coaches Fired for Going After Underage Students. New Hotness: Coaches Fired for Going After Adult Sisters of Students
• Headline: Man Gets Life For Stealing $4 Socks. RTFA: Man Gets Life For Third Strike Involving Pulling a Gun on Someone
• Obama's Advisors No Longer Have to Lie About Whether There Will be Rationing of Health Care
• New Tax Bill Raising Eyebrows
• U2’s Angel Stadium shows could get postponed
• Proudly Anti-Illegals ... in San Juan Capistrano? (Because Places With Spanish Names Should Favor Open Borders?)
• Parts of Anti-Plagiarism Bill Lifted from Wikipedia
• Stealth IRS campaign mandates millions of new 1099 tax forms
• Old and busted: gay men marrying other gay men. New hotness: straight men marrying other straight men.
• GOP puts up transgender candidate for Congress.
• Janet Napolitano: I’m not comfortable with this Arizona law that I haven’t read yet
• Eric Holder admits: No, I haven’t read the Arizona law I’ve been dumping on
• This Week's Sign of the Apocalypse: Bristol Palin Signs Deal For Up To $30,000 Per Speech
• Rev. Wright says he was wronged: 'Obama Threw Me Under the Bus'
• NASA: Easily the hottest April — and hottest Jan-April — in temperature record
• Girl who came to U.S. illegally can't get loans, but it's okay. She wanted to go into political science.
• MSNBC Daytime Ratings Drop to UCLA Football Attendance Levels
• How to Make a Great Idea Even Better: MegaMosque Built in Shadow of WTC Set to Open 9-11-2011
• Back from Iraq, Frisco soldier finds $350K home sold by HOA over $800
• Principal suggests that parent "Eat sh__ and die."e - MiamiHerald.com
• LeBron James' Mom Rumored Affair with Delonte West
• Christian right leader George Rekers takes vacation with "rent boy"
• Black Hopefuls Pick This Year in G.O.P. Races
• Obama "Tea-Baggers"
• Rahm: ‘Take Your F***ing Tampon Out’
• Harvard Law School 3L’s Racist Email Goes National
• A-ha Breaking Up, to the Surprise of Millions of Fans Who Thought They Broke up 20 Years Ago
• Accent trouble: Restaurant overhears 'Guide Dog' and thinks she says 'Gay Dog' "Sorry ma'am, no gay dogs allowed."
• Undercover videos show Kentucky abortion clinic covering up statutory rape
• New speed cameras trap motorists from space
• New NCAA (No Celebrating At Anytime) Rules in Play
• Health premiums could rise 17 pct for young adults
• In the most shocking news story since Ricky Martin announced that he was gay, Judge Briseno sentences Rodney Alcala to death.
• Insurers Might Delay Covering Pre-Existing Conditions. Unlike Congress, they RTFB
• Remember all those death threats to Democrats last week? Yeah, the stories were mostly bullshit.
• Condo shopping? What to watch out for
• This one time, at band camp, the instructor was like "It's okay, she's 18" and they were all "we don't care"
• Ugly Dude Gets Famous for Hooking Up With Peaches Geldof
• British aerospace enthusiast takes NASA-style photographs using a helium balloon and a pocket camera
• If You Own Bonds, Panic!
• The Case Against Electing Lesbians to Higher Office
• CBO: National Deficit to Hit Nearly $10 Trillion Over Upcoming Decade
• Welcome to Europe, America
• Obama Wins With Grace, Takes National Victory Lap to Taunt the Sore Losers
• New iPhone App Works Like Second Phone Line
• Is Urban Meyer going nuts?
• Reid casts wrong vote on health care. For the second time.
• We've Never Hated Congressional Leaders More Than We Do Now, Says Poll
• Florida Gators WR Deonte Thompson sounds happy to usher in post-Tebow era (boy did this piss off Urban Meyer)
• Federal Health Spending Graph
• GOP Proposes No Viagra for Rapists, Child Molesters
• GOP wants Obama to enroll in Obamacare
• UCLA: State economic recovery a year away
• Spending less on spring break?
• 'A Big F---ing Deal': Biden's Health Care Reform F-Bomb On Live TV
• 20 Ways ObamaCare Will Take Away Our Freedoms
• Where Were You When the Republic Died?
• Money only makes you happy if it makes you richer than your neighbors
• Naked man tries to lift taxi
• Patrick Molesti is Accused of Attempting to be ... What? Anyone? Anyone? Molesty.
• If Guns Are Outlawed, then Outlaws Will Stab Little Kids Instead of Shooting Adults
• Here's your GOP Soundbite for the 2010 Elections
• General David Petraeus tipped as Republican 2012 presidential candidate
• Why Democrats Are Doomed if ObamaCare Passes, by Dick Morris
• Final health bill omits some of Obama's promises
• ACORN on the Verge of Bankruptcy?
• Obama Health Care Reform: Stock Market Signals as Vote Approaches
• Palm shares plummet as analysts cut target price to $0
• Old Geezers finds rocks on seafloor off Aruba and publicize their speculation that it's Natalie Holloway's skeleton
• We don't have Mike Bellotti to kick around anymore.
• California Bar Now Investigating Birther Lawyer Orly Taitz aka Old Lady Gaga
• Woman sees tree rings in door and calls it the Virgin Mary
• Animal activists release minks from mink farm, to go forth and devastate the ecosystem
• Russia plans to drink our milkshake
• First Upset in 2010 March Madness: Old Dominion (11) 51 Notre Dame (6) 50
• Another Week, Another Hot School Worker Turns to Teenagers for Sex
• He Who Laughs First, Does Not Laugh Last
• Vegans do not like "Ex-Vegans"
• 6 Subtle Ways The News Media Disguises Bullshit As Fact
• Facebook Addiction Laads to Mafia Boss Arrest
• Man thrown off train for writing Killers and Franz Ferdinand song titles on list
• Last chance to see Disney’s Electrical Parade
• Three Missing Women Among Filthy Bruin Serial Killer Rodney Alcala's Photos
• Embryonic stem cell research worse under Obama than Bush
• Your New Facebook Friend May Be the FBI. Or Me.
• "Most Open" Administration Ever Is Becoming The King of the FOIA Exemption
• Esquire Magazine has a bad case of Kiffin Envy
• In Dubai, Even the Straights Can't Kiss in Public
• Strong c*ck, strong heart.
• Fours are Wild. California Gets 4.4 Quake at 4:04 a.m.

My 2011 demiblog is already working.

Winter 2009 Linkin' Log

Here's my complete list of funny or interesting links in the demiblog this winter:

• Don't want cell phones in your establishment, in this one, the shh meant a stabbin'
• Old and busted: passing 2700 page bills without reading them. New hotness: passing them without voting on them.
• The Silence of the Left
• Is China broke?
• Abortion should be funded by Obamacare to keep the number of users down. WTF?
• Curry house owner arrested after burglars claim he hit them
• Man kills girlfriend, 2 men after walking in on their threesome
• School Cancels Entire Prom to Prevent Lesbians From Attending
• Robber Risks Years in Prison for Six Bucks
• #1,000,001 on the list of a million great ways to off yourself - stabbing the groin with a big dull pencil.
• Black Barbie Sold Cheaper Than White Barbie at Wal-Mart. Racism!
• Lindsay Lohan sues E-Trade for $100M over "milk-a-holic" Super Bowl commercial
• Sean Penn Wants Jail for Those Who Call Chavez a 'Dictator'
• Li'l Wayne to talk shit like Lane Kiffin from jail for a year.
• Ohio Death Row Inmate Gets One Week Reprieve Because He Tried to OD Right Before His Execution
• "Missing" woman wasn't missing. She's just not that into you.
• Rodney Alcala death penalty trial: "Three-peat!"
• That Super-Duper Gay Fella From Will & Grace Admits That He's Not as Talented an Actor as People Who Thought He Was Straight May Have Thought
• U.S. Travel Association Says Each Tourist is Worth $212K in Spending
• Check Out This Scary Unemployment Graph
• Vegans, Teetotallers and Atheists to Get Equal Rights
• AB 32 - California's Job-Killing Meaningless Global Warming Gesture
• Nun ill again after miracle cure by Pope John Paul
• It's Okay to Ask Your Husband to Hold the Wheel While You Shave Your Lady Parts on Your Way to See Your Boyfriend, If You Drive Carefully and You Have a Good License. If Not ...
• Detroit School Board President Can't String Together a Complete Sentence.
• About the Pentagon shooter -John Patrick Bedell was a registered Democrat
• If you've been looking forward to the Reggie Bush depos, you get to wait some more.
• The Porn Detection Stick
• Who Is To Blame? We Are.
• Maybe Jim Bunning Was Right
• At last, a Fatwa Ordinary Folks Can Appreciate
• Anti-Gay Lawmaker At Gay Club Before DUI Arrest
• Porn Star Says Internet Is Killing Porn
• The victory in the 22nd Congressional District yesterday by LaRouche Democrat Kesha Rogers sent an unmistakable message to the White House, and its British imperial controllers: Your days are numbered.
• James Bulger murderer Jon Venables returned to prison
• Short sellers still face huge tax bills
• New Green Standards Might be Impossible Without $7 per Gallon Gasoline
• The World's Hottest Arsonist?
• Are sago palms killing our pets?
• 12th Place Ducks Honor Their Seven Olympic Hockey Medalists
• USPS to propose 5-day mail schedule because the government can't do anything right
• Rev. Louis Farrakhan reminisces about his 1985 "vision" of his trip in a UFO
• Simpson's 'Acquittal Suit' to be Offered to Smithsonian. Why Smithsonian Would Care Remains Unknown.
• "Why I Regret Voting For President Obama"
• Pat Robertson: “God Even Angrier with Chile than Haiti"
• Al Gore lied. People died.
• Chilean Quake Shortened the Day by a Few Microseconds
• Reporter Copy's Lawmaker's Press Release, Adds a Byline, and Voila!
• Nancy Pelosi: Lawmakers Should Sacrifice Jobs Over Health Care Vote
• Greece: Yet Another Cautionary Tale
• Democratic Idiot of the Week: Maxine Waters, Who Doesn't Know the Difference Between Various Interest Rates - Mortgage Rates, Discount Rate and Federal Funds Rates
• GOP Idiot of the Week: Trent Franks: Blacks Were Better Off Under Slavery
• Father stopped from taking picture of his son, 4, on children's train ride 'in case he was a paedophile'
• Obama & Democrats Talk for Four Hours; Republicans Talk for Two Hours
• G.O.P. Hopes for Senate Control Face Hurdles
• palmreader - Project Hosting on Google Code
• Students suspended for wearing farmer clothes to basketball game
• BiddingForTravel.com - Great site if you use Priceline
• RIP, Boner
• Conclusive proof that all there is to do in Canada is play hockey and drink beer.
• 99 Things to Eat in L.A. Before You Die
• America's hat is rooting against Team USA.
• The bounce in the economy is bouncing back down
• Please Rob Me - a collection of twitter and facebook posts about leaving the house unattended
• You the Right to Remain Silent, but Only for a Fortnight
• Theater VP: Go F*** Yourself, Here are Directions To Another Theater
• You'd Think The Goddamn Idiots Running California Govt Would Have Better Things to Do
• Killer Whale Kills Her
• Free $$$
• Diagnosing Gollum
• How not to evade the police
• Caribbean Cruise Ship Detours Into Shit Creek
• Should Dolphins Have Standing?
• PSA: If a train comes while you are on the trestle, jump!
• The Aussies Finally Get a Saint
• Notre Dame pisses off the gays with cartoon joking about bashing gays with baseball bats
• School-issued laptops with webcams used to spy on kids inside their homes
• Duke lacrosse accuser charged with attempted murder and arson.
• The answer to the question: "WTF is Curling?"
• Just like football. Clap. Clap. ClapClapClap.
• Landslide closes 10 Freeway interchange in Pomona
• Umar Farouk Abdul Mutallab's Father, a Famous Nigerian Banker, Warned U.S. About His Son. Obama Responds: "Seriously, who among us give any credence to an email from a guy who says he's a Nigerian banker?"
• Famous San Francisco Sea Lions Abandon Pier 39. So We Went to See King Tut Instead

My Springtime demiblog is already working.

Autumn 2009 Links

I took down my Autumn 2009 link log and put up a Winter 2009 link log. Here's what I had posted. Fark, I'm not:

15 Things Worth Knowing About Coffee

How Twilight Works, er Sucks

Doombuggies.com presents the Haunted Mansion Death Certificate

Les Miles lies about who made the boneheaded clock decisions against Ole Miss

Real Salt Lake wins MLS Cup 2009 title with penalty kicks

When in Russia, eschew the kabab kiosks

Going for it on 4th down was the safe move for Belichick

Would football players be safer without helmets?

Old and busted: Swine flu. New hotness: Ukrainian black lung flu

Chinese censors block Obama's call to end censorship (except for Fox News, which must be defeated)

Titans' owner Bud Adams needs to grow the f*ck up

The Leader of the Free World Bows Again

Obama asks Congress not to Investigate Possible Terrorist Ties to Ft. Hood Shooter

I want this for Christmas: Photo Changer

Obama's Fox hound quits.

Fuzzy Wuzzy wasn't fuzzy, was he?

Duis tells cop: 'Dude, I do this every night'. Now Duis gets a Dui.

If you are 26 years old or younger, you've never seen unemployment as high as it is right now

White House: Tuesday's GOP wins not about Obama. (Please keep thinking that, sir.)

College football's replay system still needs some work

How to make a meat hand

Lakers on pace to go 82-0

Apparently, Isiah Thomas and Magic Johnson have broken up

SEC suspends Florida-Arkansas crew for giving Florida the edge against Arkansas

There will be no freeway series for So Cal.

Sagarin computers say Pac-10 is #1, SEC is #2

Alligator in pond bites off part of golfer's arm. Happy Gilmore swears revenge.

BCS intelligence (an oxymoron to be sure)

Zagat’s Best Burgers in U.S. - May I suggest In-n-Out for those who haven't tried it?

Magic Johnson and Larry Bird are better men than Michael Jordan

Meet the politician who was literally in bed with the lobbyists. And had himself "dripping" out of them.

It takes a special kind of crazy to be a jellyfish chucker.

How I Met Your Mother Video - It Was The Best Night Ever - CBS.com

Old and busted: Bill Buckner. New hotness: Matt Holliday

Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. Democrat tells Schwarzenegger: 'You lie!'

Meet the dumbass who thought her daughter was a suitable paperweight on the roof of her van

Massive Pacific earthquake triggers tsunami watch. This is not a repeat from last week.

PSA: Stop wasting your cash on PDFs of tickets that a dude on Craigslist can print 100 of.

Chip Kelly gives fan his money back for Boise State road trip.

College Football Hall of Fame moving to that traditional home of college football: Atlanta

How would you like to find out the baby in your womb isn't yours, and you can't keep it?

Billingsley Rankings - Texas is #1

Sagarin Rankings - Florida is #1

Colley's Bias Free Matrix Rankings - Iowa is #1

Angels vote a full playoff share to Nick Adenhart

Music teacher treats his kid's doctor's office as if it's this one time at band camp

Next: I need to update my music. That stuff hasn't been on my heavy iPod playlist in a long time....

Back to Blogging

Lately, I've had too much going on to write out real blog posts. Quick tweets or Facebook updates are all I've had time to write. I'm starting to get my stuff organized, though, and I might get a chance to start doing some real blogging again. Since I've been out, I've more or less had this to say: Lane Kiffin? Oh boy. Nice recruiting class, USC. Way to go, Massachusetts voters. Those jobless numbers are insane. So is Rodney Alcala, but we should convict and inject him anyway. Yosemite is awesome. Wow, how about that rain? and USC's basketball program is in shambles, but we still swept UCLA.

Summer 2009 Linkin' Log

My link log for Summer. Not too many. Summer was a busy time, and I didn't really pay as much attention to the funny news links.

• At last, Susan Atkins can go to hell.
• Christmas comes early for Michael and Farrah.
• Feds didn't clear brush in wildfire area because of environmental concerns about air quality. Choke on it.
• Swine flu: a great reason to completely suspend all civil rights?
• If you don't drive drunk, you'll need to prove it by producing your weiner for catheterization
• Manson follower Susan Atkins to die in prison, and not soon enough.
• Stranger accused of slapping crying child at store. Dude, we all THINK about doing it, but we never actually DO it.
• Transvestite dresses as bride and groom for wedding
• Old and busted: "One word - plastics." New hotness: One word - Neodymium
• Abdel Baset al-Megrahi is dying, but not soon enough.
• Men suspected of having sex on stranger's lawn. Rude bastards. You're supposed to have sex on your friends' lawns!

A Backlog of Photoposts

I have a bunch of photo posts I put together on my netbook and phone since we started our vacation last month, but I haven't uploaded them previously because I obviously am on an inferior 3G network and every upload attempt failed. Now that I'm back at the office and all, they all get splashed onto the blog in a few minutes, bearing their original dates.

I Hate When That Happens

I had another one of those "publish later" posts get messed up. I'm not sure how I did it this time. Maybe I should just publish all my stuff right as I finished it.

April 2009 Demiblog Links

I did little blogging in April, even on the demiblog. Here are the few links I shared last month:

• Louis Caldera, the Official who OK'd the N.Y. flyby for Air Force One, is an idiot who should be fired immediately.
  
• Nanny State link #2: Man fined for harming a living tree by stapling a flier.
  
• Nanny State link of the day: hanging baskets banned from town because watering them would be 'too dangerous'
  
• Congress would like to remind you that those tea bags you sent them to protest new taxes look a lot like anthrax
  
• Paperboys to be called media distributions officers, or some such crap.
  
• Playmobil unleashes legal action against toy Bible
  
• Ducks clinch a spot in the playoffs with win over Dallas.
  
• Angels honor Nick Adenhart by pounding Boston 6-3
  
• Phoenix police harass photographer under Homeland Security pretense
  
• No surprise here: being poor and stressed out makes your brain freak out.
  
• Acne-faced bitch indicted for murder in DUI case
  
• Carlos Mencia is now the #2 choke artist among the world's worst comedians.
  
• How not to party in TJ: Local teenager found dead in Tijuana was drunk, high, stoned and it was his own knife stuck in his body.
  
• PSA: Once you've faked your own death, you should try to not get caught cheating in a Vegas casino.
  
• PSA: If some bitches offer you a $35,000 monthly return on a $4,995 investment, IT'S A SCAM!
  
• Wanna surf a hole?
  
• DeMar DeRozan is heading to DeNBA.
  
• A mulatto, an albino, a mosquito, my libido, 15 years ago.
  
• Angels on track to lose 81 games
  
• Player of the Year Blake Griffin to enter NBA draft
  
• Angels on track to finish season 162-0, outscore opponents 486-0.
  
• Los Angeles Clippers forward Zach Randolph arrested for DUI. Admit it, you'd get drunk too if you were banished to the Clippers
  
• Michael Jordan, David Robinson, John Stockton to join NBA Hall of Fame in 2009
  
• Yummy foie gras debate heats up
  
• My liberal friends were right.

March Linklog, fka My Last Post, Written Long Ago

My link log for March. I put some of these up on my Twitter account, too, at http://twitter.com/OCLex.

• Octuplets mom fires free nanny service because they were totally, like, out to get her, man.
• Matt Lauer missed Today Show after bicycle fall. Biking celebrity trifecta in play.
• Lance Arm hospitalized after falls during bicycle race.
• Your next vacation: Iraq?
• Obama to come into O.C. via motorcade
• God smites Bishop Melvin E. Wheatley 27 years after he appoints first gay Methodist pastor
• 2009 NCAA tournament: #10 USC v. #7 Boston College in Minneapolis
• Yosemite's Ahwahnee Hotel fails quake safety standards
• Octuplets mom visits Disneyland then spends $1,000 on cosmetics. Your tax dollars still footing the million bucks in medical bills.
• Boston teenagers: Rihanna brought that shit on herself
• John Walker Lindh's defense attorney is Obama's nominee to head the Justice Department’s Civil Division
• Is Obama the first real ‘Manchurian Candidate’ ?
• Britney Spears: "My pussy was hanging out!" Audience: "Ha ha ha ha ha ha!"
• 'Facebook for filthy rich' prospers despite bad economy
• PSA: Some of those MMORPG gamers who are blowing you off are actually dead in RL, LOL.
• Remember when the Nasdaq was at 5132?
• Iran says capitalism on verge of collapse; soon, world will embrace Islamic theocracy and poverty
• BCS bowls agree to suck for at least 5 more seasons.
• Kid from Dayton Christian hits 90 ft Buzzer Beater at end of 3rd Quarter. Yes, they won.
• L.T. staying with Chargers 3 more years
• The worst and coldest streaker ever
• March Madness is also vasectomy season
• World Baseball Classic: United States vs. Puerto Rico aka "We got mercy-ruled by our own territory!"
• Single mother of six is on welfare, but manages to save and piss away two grand on a couple of dogs from Cameroon. Surprise! It's a scam.
• Food for thought if the shit really does hit the fan in our economy
• Darwinism just misses bullet hammerer
• Welcome to the Neighborhood Octomom
• Murder suspect attacks and injures judge and earns immediate execution.
• Great news for people who don't want their junk patted down at a ball game.
• Want someone to blame for the economy? Look in the mirror, then your wallet, then back in the mirror.
• Ambrose Evans-Pritchard: it's worse than you think.
• Half of America's corporate value is gone. DJIA finishes below 7,000 for first time since '97
• If he's on fire, you don't really have to shoot him.
• Utah wants to ban "looking drunk".
• Fight on, Titans! Screw Stanford!
• WTF, kid?
• Former Miss Ireland will judge a "sexist kilt" contest at Muldoon's in Newport Beach on March 15.
• San Diego man wanted for store robbery arrested after showing up to take examination to become police officer.

Okay, I'm deleting my bad joke. Actually, I do have a post like that, set to post at the end of each year, which I change the date of every year. That way, when I really do kick off, if I'm still a blogger, you all, or both, as the case may be, will know. Don't believe me if I post such a thing on April Fool's Day, however. Life varies, and lately, I've been more consumed by other things, but I'm going to start posting stuff again.

[revised 4/09]

If I haven't posted lately, I'm probably dead or in a coma somewhere. Wish me luck.

[written by Mike, 3/20/2006]

February Linkin' Log

My link log for February. Not as many this month, because I'm putting more of them on Twitter: http://twitter.com/OCLex.

• Things that make you go "Ewwww!": Octuplets mother offered $1M porn contract
• Lawyer says Guantanamo abuse worse since Obama
• Celtics lose to Clippers, then Celtics drink and drive
• Your California Tax Hike Calculator
• 5 Myths About Those Tinseltown Liberals
• Recession's Hidden Virtues
• Islamic radicalization is on the rise
• Jim Bunning is a dick. Long live Justice Ginsburg.
• That's Lobdell in the corner, that's Lobdell in the spotlight...
• Italy passes emergency rape law, which apparently does not allow Italians to rape during emergencies.
• Court orders pastor to start jail sentence, which is totally unfair, because every other pastor has engaged in lewd conduct, too, right?
• Obama tells mayors not to waste stimulus money. Only the Feds are allowed to do that.
• O.C. is Ground Zero of housing mess
• Father of octuplets' mother calls her "absolutely irresponsible"
• Biofuel may be sinful for Muslims, because it contains alcohol
• Chimp attack story takes another turn for the wierder
• Girl Scout cookie sales this year: more thin than mint
• Correction: "John Gibson Did Not Compare Eric Holder To Monkey With Bright Blue Scrotum"
• Meet the poster idiots for our current economy
• ‘Obama Coins’ are 100% scam
• This is the worst appellate decision I have read ever, bar none.
• Best photo caption since forever: "The couple in happier times, before Hassan removed his wife’s head."
• Dubai's economy is collapsing like a house of cards.
• Welcome back, welfare queens
• All-Star game perfection: West dominates, Kobe & Shaq co-MVPs.
• Vikings make false suggestion that they would move to Los Angeles
• Octuplets' mom's PR agency quits due to death threats, suggests that further death threats be directed to Wes Yoder.
• Remember how Obama promised to allow 5 days of public comment before signing bills? That promise lasted 0 bills
• There once was a time when a weekend in Rosarito Beach was fun
• If Fitna was about Christian extremism, would the U.K. have banned Geert Wilders?
• Amazingly, Maxine Waters may be even more stupid than Barney Frank
• 3 formats forthcoming Depeche Mode album 'Sound Of the universe'
• A real life "Dude, where's my car?" The answer is pretty funny.
• Octuplet mom's wants to go into counseling, but as a provider, not a patient. Chick, you're doing it wrong.
• Crashlanding on Friday the 13th tempts fate.
• Senator Dianne Feinstein, you ignorant slut!
• This just in: don't take piss intravenously
• Quick, someone "vet" Julio Osegueda and make sure he doesn't have any tax liens or anything.
• How to Say No, Except for Girl Scout Cookies. Get the Thin Mints.
• Lawsuit claims that Roberto Alomar has AIDS
• I apparently missed this murder by just a few minutes.
• Barney Frank: Bonuses to Financial Executives Are Bribes. Dumbass....
• U.S. Woman Swimmer's Trans-Atlantic Odyssey Questioned. 2500 miles in 24 days? Seriously?
• Another not-that-hot virgin is getting seven figure bids for her overpriced and underused vagina.
• Barney Frank: TARP's comp curbs could be extended to all businesses.
• What funeral for a little girl wouldn't be complete without the "God Hates Fags" idiots outside?
• Vlad Radmanovic, whose only D is in his name, says buh-bye to the Lakers.
• $10,286 for Every Middle Class Family? Or "the Stimulus?"
• Old & Busted: President calling for military action w/o thinking it through. New hotness: Same thing.
• No, it's not the worst recession since the 1930s. Yet.
• "Poor" old man who froze to death after losing utilities because of $1K delinquency had over $600K in the bank.
• Translate the Quran? Prepare to die.
• CBS > NBC. CBS gets an exclusive with Captain Sullenberger. NBC gets an exclusive with the octuplets' mom.
• Your twitter history, on Twistory.com
• President declares that organizations can discriminate on the basis of faith and still receive federal funding, but this time it's Obama, so it's okay.
• It's all zen.
• Brooks is dead.
• Lakers > Celtics
• RIP, Casual Friday
• No, Barney Frank, we are not "starting" to hate you. Your ratings are worse than GWB's.
• Meet the strange woman who is addicted to babies
• Idiot Congresswoman Marcy Kaptur (D-Ohio) advises foreclosed homeowners to squat: "possession is 99% of the law"
• Suddenly, those 12,000 calorie Michael Phelps daily munchies make sense.
• A call for 3% mortgages rates
• 'What Ever Happened To?' and 'Where Are They Now?'
• Jesus Saves. Good Americans spend.
• It looks like the Obama cabinet has its second tax cheat.
• Daily Kos congratulates the GOP on their new "token black" chairman.
• Old and Busted: Billy Carter, Roger Clinton. New and busted: George Obama.

750,000 Hits

I'm 3/4 of the way to my goal of a million hits. Then I might quit blogging. I hit 750,000 sometime yesterday.

January 09 Demiblog Links

My link log for January. Not as many this month, because I'm putting more of them on Twitter: http://twitter.com/OCLex.

• Congress gives themselves a $93,000 "petty cash" raise (because they've been doing such a good job)
• Shaquille O'Neal says longtime feud with Kobe Bryant and Phil Jackson was 'all marketing'. People who've seen Shaq's movies respond: "Your acting isn't that good."
• Al Gore’s Thermometer
• Hope rises in Compton. Maybe we should move back there.
• Two-Buck Chuck might have a name change soon. How does "Two-Buck plus tax Chuck" sound?
• Pastor Ted faces more gay sex accusations
• The tax-dodging tax collector
• He's good enough. He's smart enough. But gosh-darnit, people won't seat him as senator yet.
• From Gitmo prisoner to Al Qaida leader: one man's story
• When your girls lose a game 100-0, it's actually the other team that should be ashamed.
• PSA: Leave your facebook status on "married" until you are sure your ex-husband won't murder you
• PSA: Poisoning rats is OK. Abandoning rats is a crime.
• Former French President Chirac hospitalised "after mauling by his clinically depressed poodle"
• Atheists can't compete without martyrs. Good luck recruiting martyrs to the cause of atheism, boys.
• Bush leaves note for Obama in Oval Office.
• Cool Inaugural Facts
• Lakers defeat Cavaliers
• Former OC Sheriff Mike Carona calls verdict 'absolute miracle' because he was only convicted on one count (words of a guilty man)
• Raccoon: The other dark meat
• Augie Garrido, you'd probably be sober and employed, with pay, if you were still at CSUF
• If you are on facebook, you should be a fan of this man: Captain C.B. Sully Sullenberger
• DNA testing in genealogy is revealing some surprises.
• Would you buy a big ticket item at a Circuit City clearance sale? I wouldn't.
• 29 Places to Visit in 2009. We're thinking about going to ## 3, 7, 14, 17, 22, 23, 25, 26 and/or 28. We spend many weekends near #5.
• Top 15 California destinations. I've only seen 6 of the 15.
• When it's Libby, Libby, Libby on the label, label, label, there's no pardon, pardon, pardon, on the table, table, table.
• Cheney will not stand for Obama Inauguration
• Canada's denial of entry to a known former terrorist is an assault on "academic freedom."
• "Catholics For Kerry" - a stepping stone to major pimp status?
• Former Miss Teen USA enters the Porn biz
• Manuel Noriega has paid his debt to society. Now what?
• Adventurer of the Year Killed Climbing Mont Blanc
• Freedom: court rules teachers can have sex with 18-year-old students
• Midwest temps drop to 100 degrees less than L.A.
• Modern dowry: $16K, 100 cases of beer and some meat
• It's cheaper to keep her.
• I was a 48-year-old virgin until I won £8.5m on Lotto. With Pics of Virgin and his golddigging ho
• Text Fiend Sends 14000+ Texts a Month
• Deloitte Tax Lawyer Busted for Sex Blackmail While at Disney World With His Family
• Barack Obama: Ask. Tell.
• ACLU loves God Hates Fags
• Don't waste money on baby toys, just give 'em a spoon or something
• Child pornographer caught while downloading
• U.S. Airways Crash Rescue Picture: Twitter At Work
• NY Times coverage of Flight 1549
• CNN: Flight 1549 crashes into Hudson River. All 153 aboard rescued.
• Hamas Leader Killed in Israeli Air Strike. Remind me to cry later.
• Neoracism: Scots attacking English for being English.
• Why we should let fat people adopt. In related news, they aren't letting fat people adopt anymore.
• Protesters suggest that Robert Redford "relinquish his wealth" and live like a poor person. Good luck with that suggestion.
• Your own personal snowmaker, for less than $1000
• Enjoy Global Warming while it lasts. We're in for an icy ride.
• Man cited in beating of ice-cream-stealing head-crapping birds
• Islamic militants ridicule death of Bush's cat
• BART cops shoot an unarmed handcuffed man with the cameras rolling
• After he gets 90 years for molestation, Pastor clutches Bible, proving what a swell guy he must be.
• New O.C. Bishop has a Law Degree from Stanford. That Could Come in Handy....
• Hamas won't stop rocket attacks on Israel.
• 25 Photographs Taken at the Exact Right Time
• Man dies of heart attack and wins $10 million lotto on same day. Lucky stiff.
• Just how wrong from Al Gore? Here's an analysis from one dissenter.
• Arabs blame Obama for Israel attacks on Hamas.
• Obama's brilliant plan: cut taxes, increase spending.
• Nanny Staters ban artificial flowers from graves, due to health and safety concerns
• You can't have the NBA's best record if you can hang within 10 of the Knicks.
• Boston College stuns No. 1 North Carolina 85-78
• Roland Burris: 'We are the senator' What?
• 114-year-old U.S. woman to be world's oldest. This could end badly.
• Primary drops 'school' from title in favor of "place of learning", because "school" is totally not PC
• Could you live like Jesus for a year? Hell, no.
• If you look like the type of guy who blows up airplanes and stuff, just STFU when getting on the plane
• Suicide bomber feels tricked. Ya think?
• First Christmas = Last Christmas. I'm not crying. I just have a piece of dust in my eyes.
• We have a champion. Don’t U agree?
• Sugar Bowl: Tide get Rolled. Utah 31 Alabama 17.
• Cotton Bowl: Texas Tech exposed again as frauds
• Orange Bowl: Virginia Tech 20 Cincinnati 7, ticket scalpers $27
• Rose Bowl: USC 38, Penn State 24, for the Rose Bowl's First Ever Three-Pete
• The Jets would be totally okay if Favre reretired
• Miley Cyrus gives New Year's concert from Irvine's Beckman High School
• Nancy Pelosi announces her plans to ruin America as quickly as possible
• Obama opposed their marriages, but the buttcheekless leather fetishists are planning to go to DC next month for inauguration week
• New Year's resolution to give up alcohol can be bad for your health
• This shoe-shaped anomaly on Google Maps might be buried treasure. Arg!
• Why woulld you drink and drive? If you're the future governor of Alabama, it's to get as quickly as possible to the chick with the talented mouth
• Scientists discover "Injectable Bone". Teenage boys laugh. They've got your injectable bone right here.
• Army sergeant sets world record for sitting on his ass 40,040 times. Previous record was set at the Rose Bowl.
• Unlike you, I resolve to remain my same old flawed self this New Year's, and I'll be better off for it.

Demiblog Links, December 2008

Here were the demiblog links for December:

• If your kid got shot by the cops, you'd want compensation, too. This family wants some money and a memorial statue at Disneyland
• Robbers only get "small amount of cash" at bus stop robbery, which is suprising, since people who take the bus usually have a lot of money.
• Larry Craig's sex sting bathroom stall is no longer getting the gawking tourists. Apparently, everyone who wanted to go there, went.
• Famous porn star from my hometown is going to prison. Quick! Someone lend her a camcorder.
• In the U.K., being on the dole is now more profitable than holding an average job.
• Obviously, there is no requirement that a smart person be awarded the Outland Trophy.
• 'Jena Six' teen shoots self. Aren't you all glad you rallied around this sensible, level-headed young man?
• Red Sox look to sign Ramirez. Not that Ramirez, the other one.
• Man gets cockburned to death
• Woman charged with raping boy, 14. Photo confirms that there will be no "consent" defense asserted
• Jena 6 defendant Mychal Bell charged with shoplifting, resisting arrest. Surely racism has something to do with it.
• Caroline Kennedy, like, repeats 'you know' 142 times in interview
• Better late than never: Lindsay Lohan shops for underwear
• Atheists call for more religion in Africa
• Sams hung, er, Samsung redefines the concept of a "booth babe"
• Modern Day Slavery: Little Egyptian Girls Sold as Slaves to American Immigrants. Ancient Jews Smirk.
• You wouldn't believe some of the shit that uneducated Muslims believe
• Somebody whacked Mike Hunt. Pass it along.
• Johnny Cakes eats his gun.
• Donatella Versace on a beach.
• OMG, We're Not BFFs Anymore? Getting 'Unfriended'
• Celtics are first team to start NBA season 27-2, and first to follow 27-2 start with 2-game losing streak
• No punts, no kicking off deep = state title
• Brett Favre's replacement needs just 270 yards - against the Lions - to hit 4,000
• If you liked "We Are Marshall", You Should Read Up on the Mercy Bowl
• Amy Winehouse topless - as unappealing as you might imagine
• Cannibals of Papua New Guinea rate Japanese people tastiest
• Pakistan Moving Troops Away From Afghan Border to India Border. Uh oh.
• PSA: STFU at the movies, or you might get shot
• At Last, a Missing Baby Story that Won't Break Your Heart
• PSA: The Real Santa Comes Down the Chimney. That Fake Santa at Your Front Door Will Shoot an 8-Year-Old in the Face.
• We're Down To Just One Unbeaten College Football Team: Utah.
• Amateur Scientist Solves Global Warming
• Indians 50, Witches 0
• Old man winter appears in icicle. Jesus obviously found it too damn cold.
• Woman Gives Birth Mere Seconds After Realizing She Was Pregnant. Picture Explains The Misunderstanding. She Obvious Assumed That She Dreamt That Memory in Which Some Sorry Bloke Shagged Her.
• Pickup Truck v. Water and Cold = FAIL
• It's Christmastime, aka, the Season Wherein CNN Milks the JonBenet Ramsey Murder for a few More Pageviews
• If this doesn't trigger your pity gene, you are a sociopath
• Wiley Drake says 'God will punish Rick Warren'
• EZ Lube, which sucked, is in bankruptcy. Sweet!
• Man killed in solo crash after leaving party despite pleas from famiyl
• Seau shakes off late hit
• Sacramento Grant High wins California state football title
• Detroit Lions lose 15th game. Last chance at 0-16: next Sunday @ Green Bay
• Dallas loses final game at Texas Stadium
• San Diego 41 Tampa Bay 24. Chargers (7-8) win AFC West with a win next week and a Buffalo win this week
• Fat ugly 46-year-old sues Sac State over losing Homecoming Queen Bid
• Arnold Smoking a Joke
• Obama smoking a joint.
• Bill White, 41 and gay, touted as possible Secretary of the Navy. Army laughs hysterically.
• Will NY get a senator who doesn't even vote?
• Global Warming Diverting a New Glacial Age?
• Oil Plunges Below $37
• ‘Price is Right’ contestant guessed Showcase to the dollar
• Richmond wins FCS football title
• Penis sniffer gets beaten St. Lucie County : TCPalm
• Milgram study results replicated
• Remains are Caylee Anthony's
• 5 Surprising Holiday Health Myths
• 7 Medical Myths Even Doctors Believe
• Drew Peterson Engaged To 23-Year-Old Woman with a Death Wish
• David Paterson doesn't see Caroline Kennedy as a good pick for Senate.
• PSA: When stuck on the train tracks, FIRST get out of the car, THEN call 911
• In the biggest upset since the Florida's win over the Citadel, Barack Obama named Time Magazine's Person of the Year for 2008.
• Steal $50 million in a Ponzi scheme? You now have a curfew.
• 2009 Early Bird College Football Preview
• BCS Title Game to Show in 3-D at Movie Theaters
• More 1,000 new species discovered, totally making up for all the old ones going extinct
• 12 Most common beer myths exposed. But Myth #1 is absolutely 100% true.
• Penn State's Paterno Staying Put to 85
• AFL to cancel 2009 season, to, like, make the league even stronger
• Salvation Army told to stop rattling collecting tins because it might 'offend other religions'
• A smuggling plan that was literally batshit crazy
• Gay teens at higher risk of pregnancy. Wait, what??
• Pretty soon, they'll be paying you to take money off their hands
• Cleveland State beats #11 Syracuse on 60-footer at the buzzer
• Santa brings Christmas early for two young victims. "All I want for Christmas is for me and my sister to stop getting molested."
• Adam Walsh abduction murder case finally solved
• Columbo has Alzheimer's
• Barney Frank on 60 Minutes. The Dumbest Politician in America?
• The Ten Darkest Moments in 2008 Free Speech
• Nanny Staters who put Christmas lights on their house are offensive racists
• Alabama honors a "Mr. Fail" by renaming the visitors' locker "The Fail Room"
• Donated $100 to Prop. 8? Your business is targeted for destruction.
• Which team disappointed most?
• Parowan "Prophet" predicts disaster will prevent Obama from taking office
• OJ Simpson's making 83 cents a day now.
• As punishment for going 5-19 at Iowa State, Gene Chizik is banished to Auburn
• The hairiest big wave you'll see all day.
• John Wooden's great-grandson to finally suit up as walk-on for UCLA today at the Wooden Classic, and totally on merit, too.
• New Technology Could Display Your Thoughts on Screen. No Danger of Abuse Here, Move Along.
• Geico caveman rower seeks rescue just 65 miles shy of 9500+ mile journey
• Scientists find 2,000-year-old brain. Surprisingly, this is not a John McCain story.
• Teacher Confiscates Linux Discs and Threatens to Report People to the Authorities Because "No Software Is Free"
• Which Party is the Party of Corruption?
• Who would have thought that something like a $90K frozen bribe would cost a Louisiana Democrat an election
• Fran Drescher seeks to turn New York into "The Nanny" State
• The Tabloids Don't Want to Pay Anything for Pics of Ashlee Simpson's Spawn
• ABC News: Rep. Jesse Jackson Jr. Is 'Senate Candidate No. 5', Who Offered $1M for Senate Seat.
• Bible probably not true, says George Bush. Oh, sure, NOW he tells us.
• People to sex offenders: "You should still be on the registry." Sex offenders: "That's just your, like, personal opinion, dude."
• Cartoon of Lisa Simpson performed sex acts is "child porn."
• Man bleeds to death from picking his nose too much. Surprising, it isn't that one dude I went to high school with.
• Jawa appears Fort Pierce woman's brain scan. Star Wars nonbelievers declare it to be Virgin Mary
• Congressman proposing bill to end BCS system. One guess which whining state he's from.
• Jay Leno is staying at NBC; Network Will Move to Triple Talk Show Suckfest Every Night
• So, When Exactly Can You Storm the Field?
• Three generations of a family died in the San Diego jet crash
• The Illinois Governor is Found to be Corrupt. Somehow, This is Considered "News"
• 2008 USA TODAY Top 25 college football coaches' ballots
• Well played, Texas Tech fans.
• Washington hires USC coordinator Sarkisian. Done deal.
• USC paying price for Pac-10 bias
• Sun Bowl chairman tells Buig East they suck; he wishes they could take Notre Dame instead
• Thou Shalt Kill Foreign Leaders
• County Declares 'Barack Obama Day' a New Holiday for our Dear Leader.
• Old and busted: heat releases greenhouse gases. Not hotness, or coldness, or, whatever. Just click the link.
• It's cheaper to keep her.
• Adriana Lima's latest body of work
• Do ask, do tell. Salvation Army leaders can only marry other Salvation Army leaders
• F-bomb in court = six months in jail, counselor.
• The criminally insane have just as much right to drive a taxi as anyone else.
• Nanny State school postpones Christmas performances until January, to accommodate Muslim festival
• If you smash a cheeseburger in your girlfriend's face, you might be (a) a redneck; (b) an asshole; (c) arrested.
• Florida State pranksters punk ABC on Gatorade trivia.
• They won't have Tommy Tuberville to kick around anymore
• The top 10 linebackers in college football
• The 10 best safeties in college football
• Could Texas win half of the college football title this year?
• Old and busted: Gay sex as an abomination. New fabulousness: Gay sex as God's preference.
• Notre Dame opponents get to kick Charlie Weis around for another season
• L.A. gas price falls to lowest level since February 2004
• Driver found dead in car after crashing into tree. Coroner's report: he died of cancer.
• Suddenly, Lakers best case scenario is down to 80-2.
• Fox News invites Amaroso to discuss presidential transition. Speculate why.
• White House Won't Hang Christmas Impeachment Ornament . Duh.
• Penn State lion busted for DUI.
• When you see a car driving down the road with a gas nozzle hanging out, it's probably a drunken woman.
• Irish held to 91 total yards in humiliating loss to Trojans. Again, just for fun.
• Study finds that obese women are more repulsive than other females. Or perhaps it said impulsive. Whichever.
• Vidal Hazelton to transfer from USC
• USC: The Best Team, if Not the Most Deserving
• nbcsports: Why isn't USC part of the BCS title discussion?
• Extinguishers banned as a fire safety hazard. Wait, what?
• At last, some Muslim outrage
• Check out the chick that Balls sacked
• Woman kills ex-husband. Her defense: he kept demanding sex from me. FAIL: check out the photo.
• Psst. Wanna see an X-ray of a kid with car keys in his brain?
• Teenage boys get all Chris Hanseny on local schoolteacher
• The coolest looking food you'll see all day
• Brother & sister, who are two-for-four in dodging birth defects, argue that they should be allowed to stay married because they were all growed up when they met
• 27 knot cruise ship outruns pirates. Pirates vow to take motorized boats on next raid.
• NBER announces that we've been in a recession since December 2007
• Is Hillary Clinton constitutionally ineligible to serve as Secretary of State, yet
• Obama announces Hillary Clinton as choice for Secretary of State
• Snopes on penis burns. Ouch.
• 9 more reasons not to party in Tijuana anymore
• PSA: Don't let your kids play in utility boxes.
• Ten Reasons to be Antisocial, as if you needed nine more
• Mumbai terrorist has no regrets, except that he to kill 5,000
• There's a Santa hat on top of the building. Everybody panic!
• Fully 52.8% of the U.S. is going to hell if they die before they confess to voting for Obama
• Shuttle Endeavour’s sonic boom heard across OC
• Voters reverse the score of the Texas-Oklahoma game
• ''To go out and ruin somebody's dreams like that, it feels real good,'' he said.
• Bald Eagle killer gets pardoned, hair.
• "Dear Principal Smith: It's our fault Billy was late today. Sincerely, NYC Transit."

A lot of linkin last month.

Demiblog Links, November 2008

Here were the demiblog links for November:

• Space shuttle landing detours to Southern California
  
• Georgia Tech wins at Georgia. ACC > SEC in another non-conference final
  
• Plaxico Burress is an idiot
  
• Clemson clobbers Carolina. Another ACC > SEC nonconference final.
  
• Arkansas thoroughly exposes LSU
  
• UCLA offense gives up four touchdowns. Norm Chow, you're teaching it wrong!
  
• Concertgoer plunges to death after asskicking Coldplay concert
  
• Ten Things Notre Dame Must Do to Not Suck. #8 Stop Playing USC.
  
• Lane Kiffin heads to Tennessee
  
• Patrick Swayze 'says goodbye'
  
• Mom, you were wrong about the newspaper. :)
  
• How WoW sucks just like real life.
  
• If you're broke, at least you'll get to find out if your money-grubbing wife really loves you.
  
• Bargain hunters trample Wal-Mart worker to death
  
• The world's oldest person is dead. Long live the world's oldest person.
  
• Vatican: cell phones are bad for your soul
  
• If you are a waiter who plans to dine and dash at another restaurant, don't go around giving people your facebook page beforehand
  
• Look, officer! No hands!
  
• An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth, a face deformed and blinded by acid for a face deformed and blinded by acid.
  
• In some ways, leeches are just like you and me.
  
• PSA: In the Nanny State, you can avoid prison time for your crimes by getting knocked up. Note: this strategy only works for female suspects.
  
• What do you do if you can't find your AA meeting? Suck down two bottles of wine and drive home, of course.
  
• Nothing says "I will always love you" like killing her kids and then yourself
  
• I told you it was raining hard!
  
• 8% of Prop 8 Supporters Would Change Their Votes.
  
• Cystic fibrosis too 'white' a disease for charity fundraiser
  
• Coach cuts 8 black players from all-black high school basketball team. Parents accuse him of racial profiling.
  
• The new Sagarin rankings - used in part to decide the BCS - has FCS school James Madison ranked in the top 25, ahead of defending champion LSU. Bonus: Duke beat 'em 31-7.
  
• PSA: It is apparently against the law to sing "Spiderpig" in front of the fuzz
  
• Amy Winehouse's husband chooses hot German model over drug infested train wreck. Who'd have guessed?
  
• PSA: Your rotting monkey head won't pass customs. Not in Germany, at least.
  
• Hottest Student Bodies: The 10 Best Colleges Ranked By Looks: 1-10
  
• Satellite images of the Freeway Complex Fire
  
• Resurrecting the Neanderthals - we're getting closer to the question of "should we?" rather than "could we?"
  
• Yellow-toothed NYTimes Columnist suggests that Cheney and Bush resign so Nancy Pelosi can spend two months as president
  
• Now that he's won the election, Obama can stop going to church now
  
• 2008 FCS Playoff Brackets
  
• Nanny State to deputize speed trap nannies
  
• Your 100% EVOO might be 90% soy oil
  
• Clippers don't fire Mike Dunleavy after 2-11 start
  
• Oklahoma City Thunder fire P. J. Carlesimo after 1-12 start
  
• Washington Wizards fire Eddie Jordan after 1-10 start
  
• It's bargain season for HDTVs
  
• Dan Jiru, founder of the March For Hunger
  
• PSA: The TSA people can see your sex toys
  
• Want: Travel Dynamics International's Antarctic cruise on Corinthian II
  
• Arizona governor is leading candidate for homeland security post. She can see Mexico from her house.
  
• SoCal storm could drop 2.5 inches of rain in burn areas
  
• Matt Cassel, who never started a game at QB for USC, has back-to-back 400 yard games and is expected to earn a fat contract next season
  
• And once again the '72 Dolphins pop their corks
  
• Notre Dame fans pelt their own players with snowballs
  
• BCS Standings: If Florida beats Alabama, it could be Texas v. Oklahoma for the title
  
• So this 31-Year=old molests a 13-year-old and gets 30 days in jail. Guess the genders of the parties involved.
  
• Drug pamphelt urges teen speed users to find a "reliable dealer" and stick with the same dealer.
  
• Abraham Biggs, Sr. blames the Internet for his son's suicide
  
• Farm offers free pick-your-own vegetables, and 40,000 people show up
  
• Atheists are nicer people than believers.
  
• The reason bikers are so angry is because their peens don't work
  
• FDIC seizes DSL. Heh.
  
• Proof that crying doesn't always get the cop to let you go
  
• Farting in school is not a crime. Or is it?
  
• That other quarterback for the Florida Gators is arrested on felony charges relating to stolen laptops and stuff
  
• Terror car registration plates outlawed
  
• Teen overdoses live on webcam
  
• Ashlee Simpson names her baby "Bronx Mowgli".
  
• Orange County Judge among wildfire victims
  
• SCOTUS to review Barack's citizenship
  
• Play Lively now, before it disappears on New Year's Eve
  
• eHarmony caves, offers gay dating service, which it will totally do good work on.
  
• Golddigger Demands Lotto Winnings From Man She Separated From In 1982
  
• Does anyone else see someone wrong with this Hannah Montana candy?
  
• Fat people have a right to two airline seats for one fare. This is great news for the guy who would have been in the next seat.
  
• Twitter: THE_REAL_SHAQ
  
• Playing Christmas carols is now 'noise pollution' in the Nanny State
  
• Mother, Daughter Accused Of Stealing Underwear. To be fair, however, we really don't want these beasts running around Commando style.
  
• B of A CEO says no U.S. turnaround until at least mid-2009
  
• 30 reasons why we'll be in Great Depression II by 2011
  
• Lost tool bag forces changes to mission spacewalks, assignment of tough tasks to female astronauts
  
• Have you ever wondered how the "Square Peg" who wasn't Sarah Jessica Parker turned out?
  
• Britney Spears says new life is worse than jail. After her next retrial, she might get to prove her theory.
  
• Former Obama opponent now suing to prove President-elect's citizenship
  
• Amy Winehouse gets even uglier
  
• The funniest Apple tech support board question you'll read all day. No, week. No, ever.
  
• RIP coach Pete Newell, 93
  
• NJIT loses 35th straight Division I game
  
• Catholic Bishop says education is ruining Catholicism
  
• University fires teacher for blog post calling out plagiarizing students by name
  
• Washington at Washington State: One will win, but who will care?
  
• The SNL Bailout Skit
  
• Next thing you know, they'll be telling kayakers not to kayak down 300 foot dams
  
• Prostitutes who do governors. Next on 20/20
  
• When you name your kid Dalcapone Alpaccino, don't be surprised if he gets mixed up in drugs
  
• Schizophrenic Transient Ordered to Pay $101M for Starting 2006 Day Fire
  
• Obama already breaking promise to keep lobbyists off his White House staff
  
• Joe Jonas speaks out, says he’s no cad. Just a dumbass.
  
• Obama's no-lobbyist policy was definitely bullshiat. Next up: the tax "cuts"
  
• Obama's promise to eschew lobbyists seems to have lasted less than 2 weeks after the election
  
• Lindsay Lohan is starting to wonder if she might not actually be gay
  
• The bailout means you are an idiot if you keep paying your upside-down mortgage
  
• Michigan's investment in Rich Rodriguez is looking worse than USC's old investment in Paul Hackett
  
• Yet another scenario in which the BCS could turn out to be complete crap.
  
• For whatever it's worth, no NFL game had ever ended in an 11-10 final score
  
• Yankees to court: Red Sox fan brought this shiat on himself by going to NY to root for Boston
  
• The Reverend Al Sharpton is a half million dollar tax cheat, allegedly.
  
• The White House staff delivers a shocker with the President
  
• When you meet your husband in a chatroom, should you really be surprised when he virtually bangs other virtual women on Second Life?
  
• The most disgusting court opinion you'll read all week
  
• After gender reassignment that left uterus intact, pregnant 'man' expecting again
  
• Time Magazine suggests that Hillary Clinton play the role of "spear catcher" in Obama administration. No suggestion as to who is the spear chucker in this scenario.
  
• Bad parents in Nebraska rush to abandon kids before law changes
  
• Then: He was bonking Anne Hathaway. Now: He's pretty limited limited to filthy prison sex. Not surprisingly, Raffaello Follieri misses then.
  
• My Own Worst Enemy is gone already.
  
• Ball St. is now two wins away from a perfect 12-0 record and a trip to Detroit for the Motor City Bowl.
  
• The Lakers are now the last unbeaten team in the NBA.
  
• To take the crown as American Idol's biggest fan, you're going to have to commit suicide in front of Simon, Paula or Randy's house just to earn a tie
  
• Terrorism is okay, as long as it is done in the name of Gay Rights.
  
• Gay rights protesters disrupt Sunday services with signs like "Jesus was a Homo." Yeah, that'll persuade people.
  
• Lawyer on Obama's Short List for A.G. Might be Able to Start by Calling off DOJ's Investigation of Her
  
• No communion for Obama voters
  
• Pastor takes political stand against Prop 8. Gays plan to challenge his tax status in 3 ... 2 ... 2 ... nevermind
  
• Obama resigns. GOP hopes this headline is a preview of another in 2009.
  
• For some reason, this Mexican town in the middle of an infamous drug war is having trouble attracting tourists.
  
• Obama's website: "Agenda? What agenda?"
  
• Proof that Keith Olbermann is literally an idiot: He refuses to vote.
  
• Council ranks term 'British' with 'negroes' and bans it
  
• He's the most interesting man in the world. He doesn't always have a botched surgery turn his penis black, but when he does, he prefers Dos Equis.
  
• It's official. Broderick Green has left the team and will transfer.
  
• Bring Back Titan Football gets a plug on CNN SI.com
  
• Okay, SEC fans, you win. You care more about college football than the rest of us do
  
• How would you like to own a stock that drops $2200 in mid-day trading? I'd like about 100 of 'em.
  
• What Obama really needs is an advisor who is a cable TV showman, who guesses spectacularly wrong on a regular basis while handicapping stocks for speculators
  
• Jake Delhomme goes 7 for 27, 72 yards, 4 INTs, but it's against the Raiders, so Carolina wins
  
• Being a hot young superstar doesn't exempt you from getting dumped by your boyfriend over the phone
  
• Circuit City files for bankruptcy
  
• Lakers 111, Rockets 82
  
• Gang Hangs Beheaded Man From Overpass. Obama immediately declares that we need to get out of Mexico.
  
• Rage against the Nanny State. Libertarian Party: " '1984 was a warning, not a blueprint'."
  
• Obama team sending a couple of Bobs to 'virtually every agency'. Maybe this guy won't be so bad after all.
  
• Tennessee whores are even uglier than their football team. Special award goes to #10.
  
• Hillary Duff's new video "Reach Out" is getting censored. Sadly, parts of the video will still be shown
  
• Potential Cure for AIDS?
  
• Old and busted: fossil fuels. New hotness: ooze from rainforest fungi
  
• 1.9 billion years ago, God said, "Let there be plants" and there were plants
  
• If State Signs Were More Truthful
  
• Students forbidden to mention Obama
  
• Problem: NJ needs to cut spending. Solution: Shut down public park bathrooms, but only on weekends, when people would actually use them
  
• Thanks to a vigorous hurricane season and a down economy, used and slightly damaged yachts are now available cheap
  
• Remember when we thought Tennessee was good and UCLA's win over the Vols was a big upset? LOL. War Wyoming.
  
• Michigan might have more losses than ever before in its history, but they won the Little Brown Jug.
  
• The 16 Toys That Will Top Holiday Lists
  
• If you haven't heard of 'Twilight' yet, you're about to
  
• CSUF predicts a grim 2009 for O.C.
  
• Obama has spoken only to living presidents - No Nancy Reagan seances
  
• Terry Bowden: USC suffering from disrespect
  
• Paloma is now a Category 4 storm
  
• See ya, Security Pacific Bank. No more looking forward.
  
• British journalist covering Barack Obama caught on camera in drunk, plagiarism rant, with F-bombs
  
• Melissa Ethridge vows to not pay her taxes until she can marry her girlfriend.
  
• Honeywell moves jobs out of U.S. before Obama can get medieval on their asses for it
  
• Mattel to Slash 1,000 Jobs on News that Caribou Barbie Won't be a Hot Seller This Christmas
  
• Republican lawyers take back Palin's $150,000 campaign clothes
  
• Illinois Lottery - Winning Numbers after the Election: 6-6-6
  
• snopes.com: Robert F. Kennedy's 40-Year Prediction
  
• After two decades, Cal State Fullerton athletics reinstates ... golf
  
• The next President of the United States in Pictures
  
• Hey, Fat-Ass, have I got a pill for you!
  
• Voter turnout tops 64 percent, highest in 100 years
  
• Add "Stealing McCain signs" to the list of things you do, but do not say, if you're a college professor
  
• Pakistan has some serious train safety issues to work out
  
• You know who didn't buy the comparisons between interracial marriage and gay marriage? Black voters
  
• Feeding your begging dog table scraps could land you in jail.
  
• RIP Michael Crichton
  
• Autism more common in rainy places
  
• Santa Ana winds back in OC tomorrow
  
• Democrats expand control of Senate to 55 seats
  
• Supreme Court Justices Debate the 'F-Bomb'
  
• McCain concedes presidency, congratulates Obama
  
• Guess who supports a college football playoff
  
• The coolest example of a dead person voting for Obama
  
• Guess which candidate's supporter waved a gun and shut down Interstate 5 until they let him put a campaign sign on the overpass? If you guessed "McCain", try to think of a shorter answer.
  
• New Troopergate report clears Palin, and just in time for most Americans to find out when they get home from voting tomorrow
  
• Don't be so gullible, McCain/Palin
  
• Obama's grandmother dies a day before election - proof that God is cruel, or proof that Obama is going to lose?
  
• It turns out, PALIN is just PAIN with a big L in the middle
  
• Tennessee fans won't have Phillip Fulmer to kick around much longer
  
• Pistons, Nuggets swap Billups, McDyess for Iverson
  
• Hey Al, how's that firing of Lane Kiffin working out for ya?
  
• Obama: Against Same-Sex Marriage, and Against Laws to Prohibit Gay Marriage. Huh?
  
• Obama's 6-point plan to destroy jobs
  
• Obama's Energy Plan is so Important, We'll Just Have to Let Electricity Prices Skyrocket
  
• Bruno hits the Prop 8 rallies in L.A.
  
• World of Warcraft is having some sort of zombie event that all the nerds are freaking out over
  
• Moving to Canada? Once again Hollywood libs are making promises they don't intend to keep
  
• Last time manufacturing dropped this low, only the rich owned those newfangled CD players
  
• McCain supporter withholds candy from little Obama supporting treat-or-treaters
  
• 2008 electoral vote map and calculator - McCain wishful thinking edition
  
• School Makes 'Gay' Pledge Cards for indergartners
  
• Dave Grohl admits that Cobain was just another idiot with a guitar
  
• 'You can't see your son - but can he have one of your organs?': how social workers left one man with a terrible moral dilemma
  
• Thanks for the memories, Circuit City, say hello to Good Guys when you get to heaven.
  
• One in 60 million votes actually matters
  
• Titans remain perfect with OT win over Green Bay
  
• Bengals blow their shot at a perfect 0-16 season by beating J'ville
  
• Best game of the season: Texas Tech stuns No. 1 Texas
  
• QB Steve Young Breaks With his great great great granddaddy's religion and opposes California gay marriage ban
  
• Old and busted: blue collar worker joins Eagles as receiver, gets movie made about him. New hotness: blue collar worker becomes new Steelers long snapper. Movie rights up for bid soon.
  
• Will Ferrell saves the day at USC practice
  
• USC outscores Washington schools 125-0 on the season
  
• U. FlA gives Georgia a 49-10 shocker
  
• Obama tosses his illegal alien aunt under the bus with Rev. Wright and all his socialist pals.
  
• Hawaii State Department of Health declares Obama birth certificate legal. Had they done this in April, we could have saved a lot of grief, yes?
  
• These community organizers urge you to vote for Obama
  
• This one time, in band class, I totally nailed the band director. Twice
  
• Cobain maybe wasn't the genius we all considered him
  
• Watching porn won't just make you go blind, it'll kill you. Just ask this guy's next-of-kin.
  
• Silver DUI Guy's Mugshot
  
• Boy Sent Home From School For Dressing As Jesus for Halloween. Axe Murderers still ok.
  
• Searchers more bits of Steve Fossett
  
• Obama's lead is back to 8% going into the final weekend before the election.
  
• Last thing on your list of things to do before you die: bowl a perfect game. Check. Thud.
  
• The Queen of Spain would like you to know that she is not a fag hag
  
• PSA: No matter how much you lost on the stock market, you can't take you're girlfriend to the buffet and expect that they'll let her eat off your plate for free

October Demiblog Links 10/08

The links for the October demiblog:

Four more years! (Of Andrew Bynum as a Laker)

9-Year-Old Shocked While Trying to Swap McCain and Obama Signs

Forget Avian Flu. This new strain of TB is much more likely to kill you

"Have you ever dreamt of the day that you had millions of dollars to spend?" Then the Washington State DOT has a job for you!

How teachers can opt out of the Prop 8 donations and get $20 back from the CTA

God isn't 42. He's 10 to the 122nd power.

Hockey coach's accuser admits that she's such a freak, she didn't even notice his third testicle, but she's definitely not lying under oath.

Moran complains to city about putting political stickers on their McClain-Galion dump trucks

Obama's Infomercial Was So Full of Crap, Even His Girlfriend, The Associated Press, Says So

How Parents Can Snoop On Texts and Cell Phone Calls

Apparently, the Phillies won the World Series, but you and I will have to take their word for it, because we weren't watching it ourselves

Creepy pedophile-looking sex offender lives in parking garage. What could possibly go wrong with that?

Candidate's wife accuses opponent of going "AWOL" on constituents. By agreeing to another tour of service in Iraq

Free Krispy Kreme donut for everyone who votes. Woo hoo!

L.A. Times explains that it's protecting a confidential source by not releasing the Obama PLO fundraiser video

Sticking to the "Real Issues", Media Investigate John McCain's Car Accident. From 1964.

Even thieves are entitled to their back wages

Obama Effigy Found - News Cameras Seek Immediate Reaction from Professor Lynch

3%-6% of people who already voted do not know who they voted for.

Bad news, son. Attractive fathers do not pass their looks on to sons.

Vietnam to ban small-chested drivers. Hollywood watches eagerly in hope of reducing traffic on Santa Monica Blvd. by 50%.

There are a lot of people who don't believe in Jesus, but most aren't Catholic priests

Meet the rich girl who wants to be Barbie, but isn't

Woman in Chains Fights Eviction. Irony: She's a forclosure specialist NBC San Diego

Feds may cut rate to 1%. Soon, they'll pay you to borrow their money.

Madonna created marriage contract that ordered Guy to 'devote time to sex and not to shout at his wife'

CNN says no thanks to Obama half-hour

The Obama/Biden's definition of the rich keeps slipping closer and closer to what you make

If you don't like Barney Frank's economic policies, you are a gaybasher

Jesus appears in cloud over Sydney. Or maybe it was a cloud airplane. Or just a random pattern.

CNN Electoral Map Calculator

Gallup Daily: Presidential Race Narrows to 2%

The reason Sarah Palin didn't condemn the person yelling "He's a Nigger" at her rally is because the shouter was yelling Obama "Reddistributor"

Pelosi: A Democratic Congress and White House will lead to more bipartisanship

Colin Powell vouched under oath for Senator Stevens before he was convicted on all felony counts. Who else is he vouching for?

Good news, asshole, you were born that way.

TSA to ease restrictions on liquids in 2009

The New ESPNU 150

McCain campaign accuses L.A. Times of suppressing Obama video

World Series weather 1. Phillies and Rays 0.

Greg Oden beats last year's personal best of zero NBA minutes without injury, but just barely.

Angels ready to waive goodbye to Garrett Anderson?

The NBA season is here: Lakers 96, Trailblazers 76

Bye, Ty

Politico admits that are completely f*cking John McCain over with their bias

RealClearPolitics Electoral Map Updates - Obama's Got 255/270 locked up already

It's true: Huntley Brown ain't voting for Obama

The world's fattest man just found a bride. Why can't you?

Ted Stevens: guilty, guilty, guilty, guilty, guilty, guilty, guilty

If you were hoping to find Jennifer Hudson's nephew for that $100,000 reward, you're too late.

Nothing good happens: (a) after midnight; (b) when you are 8 and playing with an Uzi; (c) either (a) or (b).

ATF thwarts assassination plot targeting Obama

Racist homeowners hang candidate in effigy. Oh, wait, it's Sarah Palin he's hanging. Never mind. Nothing to see here.

Big Labor Does Gay Marriage

Scientology gets Shafted.

Wall Street is scared shitless of Obama

L.A. Times refuses to release video Of Barack Obama attending Jew-bashing dinner, because they are definately not biased

draft joe the plumber ?

Young model falls in love with Internet billionaire.

Carson Palmer out for the season. Bungles look forward to 0-16.

Are you a teacher who longs for a chance for a paid vacation in the middle of the school year? Slip 3 seconds of porn into your next class video

Britney Spears too fragile to face a jury. Still good with flashing her babymaker to the papparazzi

Nanny state won't let 16 year olds use vacuum. That would be downright dangerous!

McCain volunteer admits she made up story about black Obama backer carving backwards "B" on her face. Admits it looked like a regular "B" in the mirror

Deadbeats move overseas to dodge student loans

Vikings were total metrosexuals

Sarah Palin 'going rogue,' on John McCain

Virtual divorcee kills virtual ex-husband, goes to virtual jail. Wait, no, it might be a real jail

Say Hello To The Dumbest Batch Of 'Wheel' Contestants In History

6 Of Your Favorite Things That Are Secretly Making You Fat

'Smears' About Obama Largely True

Remember? We were indeed greeted as liberators in Iraq.

AP presidential poll: All even

A liberal blogger proves to be the make of the racist hateful 'Obama Bucks'

Kiss this woman, or she will kick. your. ass. On second thought, just let her kick your ass.

Palin Protestors narrowly avoid Darwin Award nominations

Baptist preacher says birth control is 'murder'

Texas Tech halftime contest winner may be invited to join team as placekicker

San Francisco mulls over legalizing street prostitution

Theft of Obama sign caught on video

BYU revokes diploma for graduate who sold calendars with topless guys on it

Dead or Alive's Pete Burns looks closer to dead than alive

Animal rights groups harass man who fought off bear attack with a stick.

Mr. Blackwell dies, leaves behind a well-dressed corpse

Could Washington get any more irresponsible?

CHOC Walk in the Park remembers sick children

5 Strange Moments in TV Screenshots

vintage retro black and white new york 1885-1940

Polar Bears Swimming With Children, What Could Possibly Go Wrong? (With a 12 Inch Glass Divider)

Hallowindows

GOP group depicts Obama with watermelon, fried chicken and ribs

The 10 most stupid taxes... ever

A Skyscraper 1.55 miles high

Want to buy a couple extra houses? In Detroit, you can buy them For less than $10,000

Everyone who was blaming George Bush for world oil prices should be sending him a thank you card now

If USC wins out, you'll be able to hear the SEC bitchfest from 2004 all over again

USC 69, Washington State 0. But hey, Cougs, at least you won the time of possession battle Recap

Nanny state urges compassion for people who engage in public sex acts

According to this study, I should be a raving liberal

Forcing priests to wear robes is absurd

If you for voted Tony Romo for most overrated QB, the Rams made you look like an idiot today.

If you hate kids, you shouldn't adopt them

7th grader called racist for wearing Palin t-shirt

Another reason to hate clowns

Swiss neutrality stops when the humiliation of plants is at stake

If the old bag down the street won't give you your ball back, you can now have her hauled off the jail.

Jamaican steal a whole beach

Unfortunate Ad Placement

PSA: car wash vacuum sex is a crime

BCS Standings Are Out

Nation's first universal child health care program doesn't last

7-7-7 No Good For Rays. 7th inning 7 run lead with 7 outs evaporates as Red Sox rally to win 8-7.

Bye Bye BYU's BCS

Sex on the Beach in New York: Six dollars. Sex on the Beach in Dubai: Three Months

Former Titan football coaches say team would prevail

Americans Flunk Simple 3-Question Political Survey

John McCain looking presidential - Exhibit A

John McCain looking presidential - Exhibit B

PalinAsPresident.com

Apparently, Dick Cheney just saw the latest poll results.

Idiot Lawmaker May Appeal Dismissal of Suit Against God for Causing Earthquakes and Stuff

NFL Stadium Rankings: St. Louis is Dead Last. Suck It, Ghost of Georgia Frontiere.

Lou Holtz on why Texas fans wear orange.

Clear your Saturday, you may be playing QB against USC

School bans pupils from eating Marmite because it 'contains too much salt'

Man's head appears in aquarium photo

Couple Declare Themselves "Sovereign." They Think This Gives Them The Right to Buy Your Stuff With Their Homemade Monetary Creations.

Parisians show you their city for free

Another Bowden Brother is Out of Coaching

Rangers prospect Alexei Cherepano dies during game

Hang Down Your Head Rich Cooey, Poor Boy, You're Not Too Fat to Die

Nebraska's Safe Haven Law Lets Out-of-state Parents Dumped Their Teenagers Without Consequence. This is a trend that could spread.

Dodger scalpers attract few customers, more cops

The Senator From ACORN

If you ever wondered what it looked like when the oceans were created, you can see one in the works in Africa's rift valley

The most butt-puckering ice climbing photo you'll see all week.

The next giant in the ditigal economy might be Demand Media, Inc.

Only one AP voter has Ohio State lower than #15. If you guessed its the idiot from the Ann Arbor paper, you're right!

You can never be too thin, and if your execution day is approaching, you can never be too fat, either

Chicago's Cook County sheriff refuses to do his job, because he thinks foreclosure evictions are hurting the wrong people.

AIG planning another fancy retreat. This is not a repeat of last week's story.

Once again, there IS crying in professional football.

Have you ever wondered who would be king today if Washington had been crowned a monarch? Meet the guy who might have been America's Ninth King.

If all the lesbians in town go to the same guy for their sperm, what if their kids later hook up?

The baddest bear-killer you'll meet this week.

Judge: no deportation for man imprisoned on bogus conviction for 19 years until after his lawsuit is heard

Could a President Obama also get a House majority and a filibuster-proof Senate?

On second thought, maybe camping right next to those giant cliffs in Yosemite isn't such a great idea.

John Cusack stalker trial to go forward. (With Cusack-would-not-hit-that photo goodness)

Jamie Lynn Spears Not Pregnant Again

Top 5 Hot Girls Gone Fugly

Having failed to do it with drugs, so far, Amy Winehouse on suicide watch for threatening herself with a knife.

The secret to a happy marriage

Would-Be Illegal Immigrants Look at U.S. and say "F*ck That!", stay home.

Auburn fires its offensive coordinator.

Art: 'The Express' Portrays West Virginia fans as vicious racists. Real Life: Syracuse didn't even play West Virginia.

I Hate the Red Sox

Jamie Lynn Spears Pregnant Again

Half-ton Mexican man dies; family blames government.

Pete Carroll Supports Bringing Back Titan Football

Why are we really in Iraq? So that people can yell stuff at Sarah Palin, of course.

Former Mighty Morphin Power Ranger's defense lawyer begins opening statement with "Skylar is guilty of all three murders."

OJ Simpson's previously scheduled acquittal party is postponed for an indefinite time period.

It Was Fun While It Lasted: World's Happiest Nation, Iceland Faces Bankruptcy

PSA: Facing foreclosure? Shoot yourself in the chest twice and we might let you keep your home. Sincerely, Fannie Mae.

In the Nanny State, taking an unchivalrous photograph of a drunk chick barfing on the street is a crime.

School bans Fukudome jersey because they think it's profane

Former Cornhusker Lawrence Phillips sentenced to ten years.

Warren Sapp: Al Davis knows football, but its 60s and 70s football. Jim Plunkett quietly plans his comeback.

Prosperity Gospel Preachers: Where is your God money now?

They think they found part of Steve Fossett at wreckage site

Panhandlers can get up to $40/hour

There's nothing wrong with a bailout if we want to be like Japan in 1990

Chicago Cubs are losing it this year even without a Bartman

PSA: Please leave your sheds open for thieves. We don't want them damaging our sheds trying to steal our tools.

Anne Hathaway Esquire interview about butt sex is a hoax

Admission: Michigan State cheated to win the 1988 Rose Bowl

Al Davis's letter to Lane Kiffin. Ouch.

No Charges In Sex Offender Strangling.

Engineer sent text 22 seconds before fatal train crash

The entire 451 page Senate bailout bill

Grandmother arrested after refusing to delete JetBlue fight video

Dodgers 7 Cubs 2

Nobody pushed those 95 nay votes from the Democrats' side.

Pesky facts: "There is no record of a victim being charged for a rape kit."

Debunking the rape, kit cost

SF Examiner endorses McCain. Next: God opens the Sixth Seal.

\WaMu Says, "Take A Picture It Lasts Longer..."

PETA Urges Ben & Jerry's To Use Human Milk in their Ice Creams. The Onion predicted this.

As a group, atheists are more likely than believers to believe in other crazy shit like alien abductions and ghosts.

Washington Mutual shortens its name to "Was"

PSA: Melbourne has the ugliest hookers on the planet

Is England ready for another Catholic Queen?

If you patronize hookers, you deserve to end up with this at least once.

Apparently, you can get so fat that you would just exhaust that flesh-eating bacteria to death

Carson Palmer wins. Thank God for bets on the Ohio State game.

Sexist "Men" and "Women" Toilet Signs Must Go

September Demiblog Links 9/08

The links for the September demiblog:

Market drops a lucky 777. Paper losses cross the trillion dollar mark for first time ever.

Orange County Construction Down 94%

100-Win Angels to Play Red Sox

Rogue thunderstorms move through O.C.

Hurricane 11 2008

Hurricane Kyle (2008)

Valiant Father Demonstrates How to Kill a Sexual Predator Who Sneaks in During the Night

Hurricane Kyle batters Nova Scotia

PSA: When undergoing anesthesia for any future surgery in the nether-region, make it clear up front that no matter what they think they find, they need your permission to amputate your penis. Or do nothing and end up like this guy.

Former Virginia QB Lalich seeks transfer to Oregon State, several more beatings by USC

Fire Pete Carroll?

What if McCain sends Palin to the Debate?

GLAAD Comes Out in Support of Fox Network

Jordan HS QB James Boyd recruited by USC as Defensive Lineman

With no one else able to offer a better explanation, financial news reporters turn to the actor who once played Gordon Gekko in some movie about Wall Street

We could be facin' anudder Great Depression, dontcha know?

London's Olympic Park toilets to turn away from Mecca

Clay Aiken announces, to the surprise of no one, that he is gay.

O.C. judge appeals removal from bench

Ben Stein explains the latest financial crisis

Lindsay Lohan admits lesbian relationship on Loveline.

"McCain, Obama avoid same-sex marriage". They're just going to live together for a while.

Pictures of Jaime Lynn Spears Breastfeeding Triggers Child Porn Investigation.

New dates for Palin’s O.C. visit: Oct 4-5

Attend the Stanford School of Engineering for free, online.

Blogger accuses non-blogger of blogging. Libel?

Obama's old community organizer organization ACORN continues its corrupt ways

Meet the Sonis. These are the kind of people who caused financial institutions to fail.

Oh, but they say they've been acquitted of everything (now via Google cache)

Who says plants can't feel pain?

Paris to London? What's not to love about that?

Leeds attempts to strangle the English language to death

Baytown teacher forever forfeits any shot she had at Teacher of the Year awards.

Former state senator says Ike victims were "damn fools" who deserve to have their homes seized by the state without compensation.

If you believe these things come in threes, this weekend might be a bad time to ride a train in Los Angeles

Virginia QB Lalich is fired.

Confident Auburn officials remind students not to boo during this weekend's loss to LSU

Irish Illustrated video: "Close shave for Kuntz".

Obama claims credit for the Bush stimulus plan that he didn't even vote for. Al Gore congratulates him via the email he invented.

Margaret Cho's opinion piece, "I’m a Christian, you F*ckers", featuring "God understands if you need to have an abortion. That is why he created abortion"

Must-see trips not worth bothering with, says dumbass staycationer

Black columnist who says she never experienced racism until she was 40 declares: Begun, the Race War in American has.

It took Metrolink crashes, but the trains finally got Greg Lintner, hero of crash no. 1.

The Nanny State wouldn't ban Christmas, would they?

DeSean Jackson is still an idiot - with video spike-it-on-the-one goodness.

Galveston Reporter Booted Out of Shelter During Ike Because Having a Reporter There Made People Uncomfortable.

Might I suggest using the contractor who built this house?

Doctors say leg pain can signal deadly blood clot.

In his first start since high school, QB Matt Cassel leads New England over Brett Favre and the Jets.

No one is going to accuse Charlie Weis of doing anything athletic, but he did blow his knee out during the Notre Dame - Michigan game

New AP Poll: USC, Oklahoma, Georgia.

USC exposes Ohio State early and often.

Final score: Ike 1, Reliant Stadium 0

Old and Busted: 13-9. New Hotness: 59-0. roflmao roflmao roflmao roflmao

The Lane Kiffin experiment is just about over. Thanks for taking him off our hands, Raiders.

K-Rod breaks the single season save record with his 58th.

Most of the country wants Ohio State to lose in humiliating fashion.

Ike has already covered most of Galveston with seawater and it's still five hours offshore.

Cops are chasing you. You encounter a wall that is three feet high on your side, and an unknown height on the other side. Do you (a) leap to your death?

If you want to congratulate Emmanuel Moody for his brilliant decision to leave USC, you might need to wait a few more games.

The 10 most obnoxious fan bases in college football

Why football teams should almost never punt

Buckeye fans: Watch the Buckeyes come to LA on Flight Tracker

Beanie Wells downgraded to "doubtful" against USC

Sex-offending Donald Sutherland impersonator violates parole within 40 minutes.

Scientists discover that carbon-dating might not be accurate beyond 150 million years, which proves that the Earth was created 6,000 years ago.

Even "The Rich" Are Living Paycheck to Paycheck

Government refuses donation of marble. Would rather pay $170K on a bid, then pay $2.2M for the stone.

Best date advice ever: forget dinner and a movie. Take her someplace fun and exciting.

Congress: "ZOMG, Y R txts so much $$?!?"

When we said politicians were in bed with the oil companies, we didn't mean it literally. Wait. Yes, we did.

Scientists beaming after test of big atom smasher. The rest of us are just glad they didn't blow up the entire Earth.

7.0 quake sends 4 cm tsunami toward Tokyo. Phuket just laughs.

The first team to clinch a playoff spot: The Angels. Bonus: K-Rod is one save away from Bobby Thigpen's record. Double-bonus: The win drops the Yankees 10 losses back in the wildcard race

PSA: there may be a correlation between knocking up / marrying Ashlee Simpson and being a depressed drunk who might blow his brains out if given the chance.

Galveston prepares for Ike to come ashore as a Category 4 hurricane.

If you've always wanted to chalk the big guy's penis, fate is smiling upon you right now.

Soulless evil bear follows fisherman onto boat for a quick mauling at sea

Is there any NFL team as bad as the St. Louis Rams this season?

Ok, maybe the Raiders are worse.

When you need to ask police for help finding your quarterback, you might be in for a long season.

Beanie will definitely play against USC. Cecil still listed as improbable.

Lights Out gets the red light for 2008.

Chad Johnson can't wear Ocho Cinco until they sell all their Johnsons

Detroit's new City Council president tells media they are evil, and screams "Leave me alone!". Citizens wonder if they can get talk the convict into withdrawing his resignation.

Passengers on Carnival Miracle freak out over detour to aviod TS Hanna

How Obama blew it.

Store ties discount percentage to Arkansas State's margin of victory. Smart shoppers got 73% off yesterday. Notre Dame opponents have no plan to offer similar discounts.

The Reggie Bush appeal

California union to seek Schwarzenegger recall

Ding! Dong! The Al-Qaida spokesman from O.C. might be dead.

Sagarin's 2008 College Football Rankings

MySpace Cofounder Tom Anderson Was A Real Life “WarGames” Hacker in 1980s

Lakers' Bynum says he's '100 percent'

Europeans: No more cool ads for you

For Better of For Worse is about to go with "worse"

Google Chrome's Fine Print Sucks

Mater Dei -Carson set to start season on National TV

USC is No. 1

Why ESPN is going to be over-hyping the SEC from now on

The August Demiblog

I forgot to start the Demiblog over this month. Here were the August demiblog links:

Economic growth over 3% last quarter. Where's my damn recession?

Disposable Temporary E-Mail Address

She'd rather go to jail

Life imitates art again: David Duchovny in rehab for sex addiction

Before trashing New Orleans, Hurricane Gustav is going to wipe parts of Grand Cayman off the map

Write your Congressman! Support these guys now!

To be young again...

GOP wants to ban even private stem cell research

New Orleans prepares for possible Katrina II

Yosemite Valley

Some people never stop being assholes, even after you shoot them dead.

John Edwards to former supporters: "I let you down, and I'm sorry." Former supporters: "DIAF"

Sanchez cleared to play vs. Virginia

"There's no way I came from an ape," says teacher, complete with photo of chick who looks like a shaved ape.

Author '100 Things to Do Before You Die' hits head at home and dies before he hits 50.

Should a relief pitcher be named MVP?

And the pussification of America's youth continues: 9-year-old boy told he's too good to pitch.

While Kobe prepares to receive his godl medal, a restraining order is granted against Shaq. Hey Shaq, how does Kobe's ass taste?

Area codes 714 and 657 become like Siamese twins today.

Everybody's got a water buffalo. Yours is quick but mine is slow. Why it gores the neighbor girl, I don't know, but everybody's got a water buffalo....

Woman Arrested After 35 Years On Run. With "Looks like a homeless dude" mugshot goodness.

"If there is anything in that black bag, it’s not mine."

The coolest picture of Yankee Stadium you're going to see today

Good shoplifters don't get caught. Unlucky ones get caught. Really unlucky ones get caught in the trash compactor.

Obama picks running mate. Refuses to say who.

These are female wrestlers. Honest.

Barista is like Hamilton in a bikini. All right, Hamilton!

U.S. women beat Brasil for soccer gold

May-Treanor and Walsh's 108th straight win takes the gold

The Titans decide that one receiver named Chris Davis just isn't enough.

Buh-bye, Biatch. Nicole Parra booted from the Capitol.

More than half of all Americans are going to be disappointed by God at some point in their lives

Jealous over the Spaniards getting all that attention, Argentina's soccer players adopt the 'slit-eyed' look

Bolt is lightning fast

The world's oldest man is dead. Long live the world's oldest man.

Gawking tourists not welcome in the Castro

Team USA baseball makes semifinals

Newly Discovered Bigfoot Body Revealed to Be Halloween Costume

A map of every Bowl Division school in the USA

Phelps's 6th Gold Medal - Frame-By-Frame

The American shooter just wasn't meant to ever win a gold medal

Having solved all more pressing societal problems, a new government program is going to start encouraging people to clench their buttocks whilest waiting for the bus, to improve overall physical fitness

In the land of Michigan, it's ok to pose nursing home patients and take funny cell phone pics of them, but only if they are already dead.

Old and busted: Eleanor Rigby. New hotness: Dolores Aguilar

How many of you are there?

Disney sells little girl panties that say "Dive In." For some reason, certain parents are upset about this

All 56 representatives of China's 56 ethnic groups were from the 90% majority "Han" ethnic group.

AP poll: Georgia, Ohio State, USC. And some idiot apparently voted Washington #25.

Old and busted: "You can't quit. You're fired!" New hotness: "You can't reject your bronze medal. You're stripped of it."

Opening ceremony participants had to get nekked to get the job

Congresswoman can't keep her own homes from foreclosure or nuisance charges

Space Invaders

The 21 edicts from the Chinese Government's propaganda unit

Sometimes, when you steal a crummy old, unmarked van, you just get unlucky, and it turns out to belong to the FBI, who use dna evidence to bust you

Americans Liukin & Johnson take gold and silver in gymnastics

Six races, six gold medals, six world records, for Michael Phelps

IOC bans 2 athletes after failed drug tests. In related news, Olympic shooters take performance enhancing drugs.

Spanish women’s team is stupid too

After ripping McCain for an oil gimmick that would save us each half a tank, Obama proposes a gimmick to save us each half a tank.

Bus beheading suspect: 'Please kill me'. Why he didn't make the request before beheading an innocent passenger is still unclear.

McCain might clinch Florida's electoral votes by Labor Day

Jason Lezak, the swimmer who anchored the U.S. men's stunning 400-meter relay win, is the oldest swimmer on the team.

You think you got screwed by the airline? Be glad you weren't these vacationers.

Favre says his arm gets tierd easily.

Want to be able to eat 12,000 calories a day without becoming a fat ass? Just swim for five hours a day like Michael Phelps.

At last, a pill to cure the common cold?

FOX Sports ranks the Top 10 college football teams of the past decade. USC: #8. Boise State, #1

Phelps wins fifth gold medal in Beijing

Court: "You get only a 75% share of your Rape Victim's Compensation because you were drunk."

We had Milli Vanilli, China has Lin Miaoke

Cult members take Deuteronomy 21:18-21 literally

Sen. Byron Dorgan (D-N.D.) shows how he doesn't understand the first thing about taxation or economics

Stay classy, Spanish basketball team

Drunk and passed out on the sidewalk is no way to welcome the Google Street View guys, son.

Chinese rower misses two medal chances by forgetting his first race time

Mark Spitz now looks like Joe Isuzu

"Excuse me, I'm the porn inspector. I'm going to have to inspect your porn looking for minors. Let's see it."

Russian deepends its invasion of Georgia, but expresses no interest in Mississippi

For 836 years, God has protected his clergy from the dangers of climbing pulpit steps, but that's not safe enough in the Nanny State.

Gary Coleman can't get laid even if he marries the chick

SI NCAA Football Rankings: 1 to 119

Rivals.com College Football - Pac-10 preview

African baobab fruit aka monkey's bread might be the next superfruit

Judge orders halt to Defcon speech on subway card hacking

Ah, but ... here's the presentation.

LA Times sports writer Bill Plaschke seeks to understand China by eating some penis.

Exactly one guy shows up to see Al Franken campaign stop

Cloned puppies may have exposed 31-year sex slave mystery. Pity the poor man who was this beast's sex slave.

At last, a spa treatment for real men

California couple sets record for shortest lesbian marriage with three days. This record can only be broken once or twice.

Sean Penn's new movie is going to be phull of phake phalluses

38 dead after being bitten by vampire bats. Or are they ... undead?

The bad part about naming your kid Allah is that if he grows up to deal drugs, it sounds bad.

Doing scientific research at home is now against the law

Rumors of Bernie Mac's untimely death have been upgraded from outrageous and false to sadly true

US Women sweep first medals in individual fencing.

President Bush goes all the way to China to watch the Olympics, and starts with girls' basketball

Chinese man kills U.S. coach's father-in-law, injures wife

Lakers sign 6'9" point guard

Mark Sanchez knee pops. All Trojans except Mitch Mustain say "Ah, shit"

USC kicks usc's ass in court

Sometime in 2048, the last skinny person in the U.S. will shove her piehole full and become fat like the rest of us.

Footnote: USC recruit Daniel Campbell did not qualify.

If you are in the market for flights from JFK to JFK, here's good news. They're free!

Nobody saw the risk that Vince Weiguang Li would behead and eat a dude on a bus. But then again, who expects that from anyone?

USC Trojans 2008 Starting D-Backs Best in the Nation

B-B-B-Brettie and the Jets

PETA exploits bus beheading victim in anti-meat ad

Russians and Cubans make plans to drink our milkshake, since environmentals don't want us to drink it ourselves.

Luggage? Check. Duty-free goods? Check. Four-year-old child? Uh...

Mary-Kate Olsen wants everyone to know she did nothing illegal; it's just she wants immunity before talking to police about her friend Heath Ledger's totally innoncent accidental overdose.

Memo to this random freak: Everything about Borat was a joke. A joke. Not to be taken seriously. Ever.

Chef who suggested using salad ingredient that can poison you to death: "Oops. My bad."

Death row inmate plans to eat his way to long life

Surprise! Another "tough on sex offenders" representative is an alleged sex offender

Obama owns heckler

School's animated gif asks kids: "Want to cyber?" (link goes to Internet archive. They took it down)

Life imitates dinner-theater mystery art

US Border Agency says it is allowed to steal your iPod.

Obama opposes reparations for slavery. Ask him again in five months.

When you vote for the terminator for governor, why are you surprised when he terminates 22,000 people?

Man beheaded on bus to Winnipeg for no apparent reason

Sheikh flies Lamborghini 6,500 miles to UK for oil change. Carbon footprint doubles because of the C2O of a million treehuggers hyperventilating

Court Britney Spears still to batshiat crazy to manage her own affairs.

World's oldest joke traced back to 1900 BC. To everyone's surprise, it is not a political joke about John McCain.

The July Demiblog

Here were the July quasiblog links:

• In desperate bid to get to three games over .500 to win their division, Dodgers trade for Manny Ramirez
• Angels sweep Red Sox in Fenway
• Wanna doctorate? That'll be $499. For an extra $75, we'll give you a 4.0 GPA, too.
• Hahahahahahahaha. F*ck Sprint.
• Angels beat Red Sox for 7th straight time. But at least Boston avoided the no-hitter in the 9th
• Angels acquire Mark Teixeira for Casey Kotchman
• Favre Faxse Reinstatemten Papesr
• A fool and his $7,000 are parted.
• The Pac-10: The conference of non-cowardice
• Obama Released His Own Jerusalem Prayer Note.
• Bennigan's Restaurants Shut Down Nationwide
• Athletes are caffeineds
• How to handle their breakup: (i) Alanis Morissette - bang every guy she can until she feels good about herself. (ii) Ryan Reynolds - bag Scarlett Johansson and call it even.
• Cuil
• Jeff Garcia says coach Jon Gruden likes to date QBs. Won't marry them.
• That fateful first for Qantas qant be far off now? Qan it?
• The upside: no risk that 18 years after you shag this hooker a 6 foot street urchin knocks on the door and calls you Dad. The downside: trying not to barf during the transaction.
• Chicago earnestly pursues the title of Nanny City.
• Awesome home listing. Ignore the first six pictures. #7 is great. "Does the dog come with the house?"
• Gains for McCain in latest USA TODAY/Gallup Poll (+4)
• Not all who resign amid child porn probes are two-faced Republicans
• An ugly ass baby panda bear doing pushups.
• Old and busted: Spam that offers you a way to lengthen your middle leg three inches. New hotness: Doctors who will lengthen your left and right legs three inches.
• Proof that sharks have better taste than TV and radio executives.
• Boys only hip hop dance class uses breasts to attract enrollees
• Next big idea for Hollywood? H.R. Pufnstuf
• Ten lame tattoos
• No wonder Bush hates Iran: being a nuisance while drunk in public is a capital offense there.
• Another reason to hate Rush Limbaugh or the Rams, or both.
• PSA: If your friends come to your party, dump your family pet in the washing machine and turn it on, they aren't really your friends.
• This is how I want Kyle baptized.
• Drivers here are morons. Watch.
• Stage one: hurricane. Stage two: floodwaters. Stage three: tarantulas.
• UFOs and aliens are really fallen angels
• The family that ropes together drops together.
• Another bad way to go: buried alive in hot asphalt.
• Lakers sign Vujacic.
• Five Foothill High alumni to compete in 2008 Olympics. How many does your alma mater have?
• Prop. 8 backers take fight to kindergarten, asking whether we really want to force teachers to tell five-year-olds that gay marriage rocks.
• California bans trans fats in restaurants.
• Airports May Scan For Illegal Downloads on Mobile Devices
• Boy bites pit bull, wins.
• Will Ferrell says growing up in Irvine made him funny. My kids are already cracking me up.
• Downey Financial reports bad financials; CEO and Chairman step down
• 'Last Lecture' Author Dies of Cancer
• New Fast-Food Restaurants to be Banned in South LA
• Two twins, born to one set of natural parents: one is black, and one is white.
• Is the MSM biased? Follow the money: media donations favor Democrats by ratio of 100-1
• Third title game will be charm for Buckeyes?
• Vultures loiter outside surgery patients’ hospital rooms, and for some reason, they find this discomforting.
• A new, better way to experience becoming food for fishes
• Does Florida Congressman Robert Wexler even live in Florida? Mmmmmmaybe not.
• World's oldest Bible features Gospels that end with the crucifixion.
• Convicted killer's final remarks urge people to vote for Obama
• Nigerians amazed by meat that spells 'Allah'. It looks like "WE" to me, but I don't read Arabic.
• Tim Tebow won't do Playboy All-American list, but he'll pose for pictures like this one....
• World's Oldest Bible Ends the Gospels Without Mentioning Resurrection
• The Audacity of Vanity the article that answers the question: "Just how freaking vain IS Barack Obama?"
• Al Gore compares offshore drilling to invasion of Iraq. Yeah, totally the same, dude.
• Amy Winehouse's husband goes to jail. At least they won't be ODing together any time soon.
• Carson Palmer Hates Ohio State Fans. Then again, who doesn't?
• If you catch a little rainwater in your back yard, you probably think "finders, keepers," but you're wrong.
• Angels Sweep Red Sox
• In an attempt to reduce their approval rating from 9% to zero, Congress considers raising gasoline taxes
• Taking pictures of your own kids playing in public? Pervert.
• Bush Administration Tries to Redefine Contraception as Abortion
• Michelle Wie could miss qualifying for the LPGA tour next year because she forgot to sign her scorecard on time.
• One percent of us have genetic tendencies to violence. So it's not our fault when we pound you.
• Police have determined that the corpse of a woman found at fake baby mama's house with her uterus ripped open "may" provide a link to the mystery baby. That's some nice police work there, Lou
• Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim beat the Boston Red Sox of Boston again
• Gold paint-faced huffer caught huffing in public again. Bonus: three mug shots, all with the same crooked frown on his face.
• Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim pound the crap out of the Boston Red Sox of Boston
• We won't have this pitcher Nomo.
• Porn actress wants to teach priests
• "Dear Abby" never said stuff like "up to your ass in alligators".
• Junior Matt Barkley: Gatorade National Male Athlete of the Year. Seniors, you must have sucked.
• Great opening lines: USC -18 @ Virginia
• Baby-killing mom never reports missing daughter because she was "doing her own investigation."
• Pakistani investors, some of whom lost their life savings of $4,000 or more, riot over government's failure to rally stock prices
• Is Barry Manilow anorexic?
• Bikiniman, Bikiniman, does whatever a Bikiniman does.
• Old and Busted: Trying to make a murder look like a suicide. New Hotness: Trying to make it look like someone else shot you.
• In some places, not paying your mortgage makes you a "hero"
• Rome mayor bans singing in public without a license
• The secrecy of your offshore bank account is only as secure as their least trustworthy employee, and he hates rich people.
• Bishop says abuse victims are 'dwelling on old wounds'. Only wounds older than about 2,000 years should be dwelled upon.
• What not to wear to your hookup with a cop pretending to be a 14-year-old girl.
• Jimmy Carter couldn't finish the job. Can Jordan Farmar finally bring peace to the Middle East?
• Oregon safety dies in swimming accident
• Gators lose two starting DBs for season.
• Elderly women get life in L.A. insurance killings
• It's tough to get an early compassionate release when you told your victim "Look, bitch, I have no mercy for you. You're going to die and you'd better get used to it."
• Obama Releases List of Approved Jokes About Himself
• President Bush to help host golf tournament for McCain. Presumably will stay off the greens in a continued effort to show support for the troops.
• Peyton Manning's infect sac removed.
• Tips for traveling with children
• Care for some plastic surgery?
• Too much crack to ignore: cops shut down 29th annual Amtrak mooning event
• "91 freeway accident victims identified". That's a lot, right?
• Italy takes steps to root out gay drivers.
• All county courthouse weddings suspended to prevent the onslaught of gay marriages in Butte County.
• NEWSWEEK Poll: Obama loses 12 points overnight.
• Ameritrade Hack Settlement: $2 Per Victim, $1.8 Million for Lawyers. And the $2 is a bullshit $2
• Zoombak - How to track your dog, or your cheating spouse
• If you bought IndyMac Bank at 10 earlier this year, you lost 10
• Dancing with the Stars to have more men than women.
• South Africa Courts Declare Chinese to be Blacks
• Iranian news agency releases four-missile test photo, feeling inadequate about actual three-missile test.
• Man sued Bible publisher for all the harm the Bible has caused him.
• Conspiracy theorists take note: it took six months for police to reveal that John F. Kennedy's co-defendant tried to slice off his own penis in jail.
• Commissioner defends positionthat 'black hole' is racist term by comparing "devil's food cake" with expressions like "trying to Jew you down."
• Buh-bye Ronny Turiaf.
• President Bush jokes about being "the world's biggest polluter".
• Man seeks Guinness world record for sitting on his ass at the Rose Bowl [my first fark.com green light]
• Wisconsin law protects the celibacy of corpses
• Man finds frozen animal balls in his freezer, reports finding frozen human hands
• Man finds 150 dog sex tapes featuring his mom.
• Secondhand Clipper tickets are going to be CHEAP next season
• A couple of judges and commissioners in Dallas think "black holes" should be called "white holes" because of racial implications.
• The Baby Name Wizard
• Brother and sister are so ugly, none will have them but each other
• On-duty Los Angeles County deputy arrested on suspicion of DUI. Get a brain, Moran.
• Free outdoor movies in the O.C. all summer
• Apparently, there is no longer any shame in being a whore
• D.C. School Vouchers Are a Huge Success. That's Why We Need to End the Program.
• Only one in eleven Americans don't think Congress is doing a crap job
• Elton Brand headed to the Sixers
• Cleaner skies? That will lead to more global warming.
• The Price Tag for Rich Rodriguez Breaching His Contract to Coach West Virginia: $4 million
• New DNA Tests Clear Family In JonBenet Ramsey Slaying
• Parallels between the lives of Jesus and Egyptian God Horus
• 27-Year-Old Pig Accused of Having Sex with Special-Ed Student
• State worker quit $61K job rather than lower flag for Helms
• Student Who Took Eucharist Gets Death Threats. Peace Be Not With You.
• Man goes to police station to confess to "Tarantino murders" and is told to wait in line
• Tiny dog chews off woman's toe
• Homeowner uses a stick to drive off rock-chuckers outside his house. That's worth six months in jail, sir.
• Slaves for sale in Haiti.
• High gas prices forcing more people into "Extreme Carpooling"
• Dumb rapist gives victim his number. "Call me?"
• Miss Washington: a picture of class.
• "I'll have a sex on the beach." "Great, that'll be six." Dollars? "Years."
• U.S. Removes Saddam's Nuclear Yellowcake. No WMDs, just 550 tons of nuclear material. Nothing to see here.
• If you didn't get punked by Borat, get ready to be punked by Bruno.
• Cruise West ship runs aground in Glacier Bay
• If you're struggling to find something positive to say at Jesse Helms's funeral, try this one: he got Lou Holtz fired once.
• An actual example of irony: "Smoke Detector Sparks New Jersey Fire."
• Teachers instructed to report "racist" toddlers who dislike ethnic foods
• This week's Satanic sex crime couple is not news, because they are Democrats.
• Abnormal hormones turn British man into British girly-man
• The Sonics won't be leaving Seattle, but their players and coaches are heading to Oklahoma City to start a new NBA team there.
• Scary headlines: If illegal stopped picking produce, your food bill would go, up, up, up. The truth: By nine bucks a year.
• Most Obnoxious Tourists? The French.
• Mr. Mojo Risin alive in the Seychelles?
• We don't care how much you paid for your first class seat. You still can't use the emergency chute to get off the plane before the coach passengers.

Blogged Ratings

Blogged.com rated 16,508 personal blogs, and apparently, they thought mine was the 311th best. Not bad, given that I've never really strived to make this anything more than me going on about whatever stuff my friends, family and I are paying attention to at any given moment. With a score of 8.3 out of 10, I could argue that I'm really tied for 135th-best. That sounds even better at a blogger's cocktail party, if such things exist. Do bloggers have cocktail parties?

I'm not sure how the ratings work, and I question the reliability, because I also maintain a professional blog that, unlike this thing, is somewhat well-regarded and is the #1 google search result for its subject matter. It scored a 6.8. Go figure.

June 2008 Demiblog Links

Here were the June quasiblog links:

• Deven Trabosh Selling Herself and Home on Craigslist. Take out the Bo and you've just got trash.
• Accidental fungus might be a cure to many cancers
• Bear mauls teen cyclist, who obviously did not heed Colbert's advice
• A look at İran's first lady
• "I don't have to slow down, Mr. Pedestrian, I'm with FEMA. Now see how you like a golf club to the arm."
• Amy Winehouse punches out groping fan without missing a note
• Teen decapitated by Batman
• Judge orders Mini-Me Sex tape off website. Wait, let me rephrase that....
• Goldman Sachs downgrades General Motors. Pot, meet kettle.
• OJ Mayo traded for Kevin Love
• The best way to prove a gun is unloaded is NOT to point it at your own face and shoot
• Meet your new Laker: Joe Crawford. No relation to Joey Crawford.
• Shaq’s Rap Album Sales Year-To-Date? 20 Copies
• Hugh Hewitt says tOSU is going to kill USC, then the Islamists are going to kill everyone else
• NBC settles $105 million lawsuit brought by family of perv who shot himself. Dollar amount, if any, remains confidential
• George Carlin is in Hell!
• PSA: Mocking lesbian hecklers is now a civil rights violation, Mr. Comedian.
• Next time you want a really wild drink, ask for Agwa. Offer not valid in Mexican bars.
• lol lol lol
• Shaq to lose his badge. For some reason, the sheriff doesn't like his deputies singing about the taste of his ass.
• PSA: Anti-abortion campaigns are more effective when the candidate has never sent his girlfriend into an abortion clinic to get one.
• Reporter proves that you can't report on your own murders without giving away some details, but you can drown yourself in a bucket in your jail cell.
• House Speaker Nancy Pelosi: “I’m a victim of sexism myself all the time."
• Notre Dame's Kuntz returns
• Five ways to find low-cost air fares
• Flying without an ID is coming to an end. In related news, you can still fly in the U.S. without showing your ID.
• If you don't get the sarcasm, you aren't evolved.
• Obama plans to get halfway to becoming the first billion dollar candidate
• The answer to the question: "Just how much of an insufferable bitch is Naomi Campbell?"
• Notre Dame renewing TV contract with NBC
• Bacteria evolve in the lab
• Book of Fred, 1:1-3: For God so loved the world that he let a registered sex offender win the $57 million Mega Millions jackpot.
• 48 States in 96 Hours.
• The Trippiest Optical Illusions on the Net
• Court overturns father's grounding of 12-year-old
• Child Protective Services goes in to "save" child, after Psychic reading reveals she's probably being raped.
• ESPN.com apologizes for bringing Godwin into the discussion of the Celtics
• There may be a reason for your appendix after all
• Oh, nuts.
• Mandals, Murses and Manpris: Male Fashion Mistakes?
• Louisiana Encourages 'Critical Thinking' About Evolution. Darwin Devolves.
• Malik Obama confirms his half-brother Barack grew up a Muslim
• Right-wingers really are nicer people, latest research shows
• Ohio judge with Che Guevara poster in his office declares death penalty unconstitutional
• RIP Tim Russert
• Spider Monkey, Spider Monkey, does whatever a Spider Monkey does.
• I crapped myself. Would a real murderer crap himself?
• Obama lists all the cool stuff he's going to make more successful people pay for on your behalf
• The best photo of a huge tornado funnel cloud you'll see today
• The Stanley Cup returns to Orange County, but not the way Duck fans would have liked it.
• 2009 is gonna be a bad year for the rich. And by rich, we mean anyone making more than about $250,000, even if they are still in debt up to their ears.
• You know you will get a fair chance in your obscenity trial when you get assigned for a judge who distributes porn on his own personal website
• All those juiced up free agents named in the Mitchell Report are still unsigned. Agents call this "suspicious."
• Girl misses prom because she's knocked up, so little brother takes her to his prom two years later. Bonus: this story is not from Kentucky.
• Airlock Escape
• Blast in Space
• Hyperspace Mountain
• Celtics 2, Lakers 1
• What you get when you cross a cobra with a guy wearing a condom
• MLB has its third clean member of the 600 Club
• For You People That Think The NBA Is Fixed.....
• Referee blows the whistle on the NBA fix
• Tesco bans parents from buying alcohol if they are with their OWN children
• Dennis Kucinich, desperate for attention, introduces Bush impeachment resolution. 35 counts.
• After best comeback in NBA finals history fizzles, Phil Jackson complains that Leon Powe shot more FTs than every Laker combined
• Not Surprisingly, Celtics' Paul Pierce OK for Game 2 against Lakers.
• Doctor De Cock says the threat of a world Aids pandemic among heterosexuals is over
• Crazed knifeman stabs seven shoppers dead in Tokyo. Next on the agenda: Knife control.
• Another gift from the mob: after feeding on corpses dumped in the sea by mobsters, hungry sharks are now targeting surfers
• Sure, lots of people say they are born again. This baby really is.
• Creative suicide 101: Hitch a ride aboard a skydiving plane to take pictures, then follow the jumpers.
• Belmont Stakes won by the longest of long shots; Big Brown is a big bust.
• Who would have thought that this Phuc 'n Bich wouldn't last?
• Marc Ambinder, idiot writer for the Atlantic, thinks that a "Constitutional Crisis" is when people get mad and want to change the Constitution
• Paying Your Verizon Bill With Cash? That'll Be $3.99 Extra
• Paul Pierce: Drama Queen
• Sportscaster Jim McKay dies at 86. He's all gone.
• Business school in India makes the monkey god a chairman
• Hats banned from Yorkshire pubs so that Big Brother's CCTV cameras can get a clean look at every mug's face
• Ohio graduates get two diplomas, after some complain about the first one touting their "educaiton"
• Family's pet rat was left to starve, so naturally, the property owner was charged with animal cruelty.
• VMK's ghost
• Parents bitch and scream, and now the school play features 25 Snow Whites and no wicked witch. Coming to your town soon?
• Lost cameras "phone home" to catch thieves. If only my Wii Fit would call....
• Beach bonfires may be banned to stave off global warming. Seriously.
• When you're running a marathon, you don't have time to visit the crapper
• Reggie Bush Accuser Dodges His Deposition a Third Time
• Sarah Jessica Parker Looks Like A Horse . dot . com
• YAGE: This time, the Irish Trojan
• L. Ron Hubbard's 5 Most Impressive Lies
• Kevin Federline named Father of the Year, and its awarded by a nightclub, so you know its totally prestigious and stuff
• Police to seal off D.C. neighborhoods to people with no reason to be there
• Pistons fire Saunders for merely overachieving with inferior talent
• Phil Jackson starts to get his due
• Writer Jan Morris, now a woman, remarries her ex-wife from back when she was a man
• Hospital denies story that says couple abandons IVF babies because they wanted boys.
• Couple abandons IVF babies because they wanted boys.
• Read the first letter of each paragraph to get the hidden message
• Fiddler on the roof? I barely know the girl!
• How to break up with your friend
• Ecstacy treats PTSD? Not in this country.
• Old and busted: Preparation H to shrink those grapes on your bunghole. New Hotness: Preparation H to shrink those bags under your eyes
• Damon Allen Retires as Pro Football's All-Time Most Prolific Passer
• Old and busted: Letting Christians spread the Gospel. New hotness: threatening to charge them with "hate crimes" for preaching to Muslims
• Tatum O'Neal is back in crack.
• Kirstie Alley: The Return of Fat Actress
• Pakistanis express disagreement over Islamic cartoons by blowing up Danish embassy
• Old and Busted: "Trashdiggers." New Hotness: "Freegans." It's by choice, dude.
• Senator Kennedy has part of brain removed; maybe now he'll be able to relate to George Bush.
• RIP Bo Diddley.
• Teacher's Retirement Last Just Five Minutes
• Back to the Future Courthouse Burns Again at Universal Studios
• Old and Busted: Gay Friends Coming Out of the Closet. New Hotness: Homeless Strangers Coming Out of Your Closet.
• Prince Blocks Youtube Videos of Him Singing Radiohead's 'Creep'. Radiohead Responds: We Own That Copyright. Unblock it.
• That O.C. High School Teacher With the Drugs and Guns in his Car? He was Framed by the Ex-Wife.
• Man Walks on Water. First Jesus, then Peter, now Jose.
• Warren Jeffs and His 12-Year-Old Bride
• Oh, sure, NOW Obama resigns from his church
• Another Irvine High School Mourns the Loss of a Football Player

The May 2008 Demiblog Links

Here are the May 2008 Demiblog links:

• Obama Sees Dead People at New Mexico Speech (Video)
• Fisher fouled Barry at end of Game 4, NBA says. No statement issues on the not-reset 24 second clock on Fisher's last shot
• Angels awarded 2010 All-Star Game
• Spain Drought Reveals Submerged Medieval Church
• Pittsburgh-area radio host fired for saying he's sad Ted Kennedy won't live long enough to be assassinated
• This might just be the best day in Anthony Bourdain's life.
• Google Earth makes 3-D views of Amusement Parks Available
• Former Cub Geremi Gonzalez killed by lightning. Barry Bonds and Roger Clemens still fine.
• No time to procrastinate: Ted Kennedy sails in regatta
• One in nine voters believes Obama as a Muslim
• Lose weight by eating less food more often? Maybe not.
• Don't look back and say "First they came for your iPod, and I said nothing."
• European Court of Human Rights to hear case to have chimp declared a person, with human rights, naturally.
• Mommy's Bliss is baby's bane.
• Mr. Right Iz Pizt
• Mr. Right Iz Here, Ladies
• Manchester United win Champions League Final on penalty kicks
• Why tax rate increases do not generate more revenue
• Pistons win in Boston.
• If the defending champs can blow a 20-point lead, is any lead over the Lakers safe?
• Andrew Bynum gets knee scoped
• Chicago Bulls get their first big win since Jordan's second retirement.
• Man Dies in Fall While Taking a Running Start on a Balcony-Edge Spitting Contest
• In Al-Qaida's Eyes, Barack Obama is not only a Muslim, he's an apostate - the worst kind of Muslim
• 16% of US science teachers believe God formed mankind from the mud less than 10,000 years ago
• Foster mother's adult pain relief patch ends little girl's pain for good.
• Town wants levees inspected, will pay full price; FEMA says tells them only FEMA can do that. And FEMA has no money for it.
• Royal Caribbean bans a couple of complaining Morans for life
• What will life be like in the year 2000? Let's ask this author from 1961.
• Old and Busted: "What if I die young?" New Hotness: "What if I live too long?"
• Trust your instincts when that carnival ride looks like it's ready to keel over
• Ted Kennedy sent to hospital after seizure
• Who can stop Kobe? Nobe.
• Pac 10, ACC Have Least Despicable Nonconference Schedules
• Democrats propose new taxes on high income earners. "They're not going to miss it."
• Man Charged with Trespassing for Wearing Speedo On Beach
• The new Cure tour opens in Virginia
• A dozen fans protest end of VMK at real Disneyland
• Emily and Jacob still top baby names. Madison and Ethan right behind. "Mr. Ethan LexIcon". That Could Work.
• Tort Reformer and Failed Supreme Court Nominee Robert Bork Settles His Million Dollar Slip and Fall Lawsuit
• 15 Strangely Shaped Trees
• Great photos from the National Geographic Channel
• PSA: Don't Touch Windows XP SP3
• PSA: Reading an Anti-KKK Book = Racial Harassment at Indiana University
• The voice of San Francisco liberals admits that, yeah, he did swap a bunch of kiddie porn. Listeners yawn, wish it had happened to Rush Limbaugh instead.
• Chef calls for ban on out-of-season fruits and vegetables
• Obama plans to declare "Mission Accomplished" on May 20.
• Scientists explain that recent floods, tornadoes, earthquakes and volcanic eruptions are unrelated.
• Organized crime suspected in killing of acting Mexican police chief. Mexico to thwart their brilliant plan by appointing a new chief.
• Amy Winehouse arrested. Somehow, this is still considered "news."
• Holy crap! The hookers in Clearwater are ugly.
• According to some believers, the Virgin Mary has now been reduced to appearing in people's wounds.
• Amid rising cheese costs, Chuck E. Cheese downgrades its pizza from "cardboard and cheese" to "cardboard and a runny cheese-like substance."
• Old and Busted: "You know who was brave? The first guy who milked a cow. lol." New Hotness: "You know who was REALLY brave? The first guy who tried to get a cow to blow him."
• Hollywood's next big couple: Scarlett Johansson and Ryan Reynolds
• Fans to gather Saturday at real Disneyland for real protest against closing of virtual Disneyland
• Florida schoolteacher fired for "Wizardry" after performing disappearing toothpick trick
• "Please do not feed our fat-assed monkeys"
• Forget budget shortfalls, fire danger and job losses, California legislator thinks the next most pressing issue to solve is celebrities women with purse dogs in their laps while driving.
• This photo can help explain why ancient people thought angry gods lived in the volcanoes
• Karl Malone was a lousy dad to his two pro athlete children
• Some moran with half a brian demands that English be made the "Offical" language of the U.S.
• The next panic-inducing baby-killer disease is upon us: EV71
• SAved by the Nanny: Chino Hills Baby Snatched From the Jaws of Coyote
• All-you-can-drink alcohol wristband-wearing students get out of control, amazingly, to the surprise of some
• Long Beach High sophomore hides pregnancy, births in the shower and walks to the hospital baby attached by the umbilical cord
• The most inadvertently prescient sports headline of the weekend: "Eight Belles ready for her shot"
• The good news, Eight Belles, is that you ran second in the Derby. The bad news is that this needle is going to make you sleepy, and you never wake up.
• PSA: If your husband finds you banging your lover and you cry "rape", you're the one who will go to prison when your husband shoots the guy dead
• Computer keyboards are five times dirtier than a toilet seat
• Carne asada is not a crime
• "Hello, Police? Some jackass stole all my marijuana."
• It wasn't the Happiest Place on Earth™ for this guy
• The Civil War claims another victim
• MVP! MVP! Kobe Bryant wins first MVP award
• Boston Sucks! Boston Sucks! Boston Sucks!
• In the search for alien life, no news is good news.
• This inmate looks less surprised than you might have expected
• Indian Babies Dropped 50 Feet for Good Luck
• Gas in the U.S. is cheap, but in Venezuela, it's 12 cents a gallon
• People see 'Missing Child' poster then walk right past the girl in the poster
• Bad Tiger! LSU QB Perrilloux tossed out on his ear.
• As it turns out, Rev. Wright is more racist than a cracker
• How many bowl games are too many? This many.
• That Phoenix trade for Shaq can now be judged
• Coolest autograph collection ever
• Face of Jesus, or a big-eyed alien, appears on cider bottle
• Crappy BCS System to Remain Broken Until at Least 2014
• Dick Butkus Now Owns the Butkus Award.

April 2008 Demiblog

Here are the April Demiblog links:

• USC powers to top
• The coolest girls' sports story of the year
• Legless lizard may be new species
• For $10,000, former terrorists will explain 'why we want to kill you'
• Dallas man freed by DNA testing after 27 years in prison
• Obama outraged by former pastor's comments
• Lakers sweep Denver; first time any 50+ win team has been swept in the first round
• Now, even airlines you've never heard of are filing for bankruptcy.
• Tape Recording Reveals Minister's Incest Habit
• Coachella "Amnesty cans" encourage festival-goers to dump their stash legally. Cops claim it yielded 400 PCP-laced cigarettes last year. Oh, that and a bunch of apples with razor blades inside them
• PSA: You can't take your Marine boyfriend to prom is he is old enough to score you beer
• In Tunisia, you might be charged with rape if you make sexytime over the telephone
• Reno's earthquake swarm keeps getting worse
• This is why American kids should not party in Tijuana anymore
• Have solved its more pressing issues, Florida moves to ban fake bull testicles on trucks
• Nuggets hold Kobe to 22 points for their first moral victory of the playoffs. Lakers still up 3-0 in real victories.
• Wildfire season comes early to Southern California this year.
• Hire your own paparazzi, loser.
• Brazilian priest has apparently become the first Christian in almost 2000 years to ascend directly to heaven without dying first
• Shark kills swimmer in Solana Beach
• Humans nearly wiped out 70,000 years ago
• Nancy Pelosi makes up shit and says its from the Old Testament. She probably figured none of her constituents ever read the thing, so what could possibly go wrong?
• Mom of the year candidate took her kids to 500 doctor's appointments in 10 years, whether they needed it or not
• Judge sentences Wesley Snipes to 3 years in PMITA prison for tax convictions
• The Roof! The Roof! The Roof is on fire!
• Soon, a bunch of kids are going to roll ito math class and ask "Is our teacher that dude who sang "She Bangs" on American Idol?"
• Politics 101: "Just because they asked me to" is not a good reason to play keynote speaker at a Hitler birthday celebration
• Book speculates Jesus was fathered by Roman who assaulted Mary. Christians Wonder: WWMD? (What would Muslims do?)
• Rich Rodriguez is off to such a good start that a starting lineman just transferred to tOSU as a walk-on
• Yale Miscarriage Artist Aliza Shvarts Explains Her Warped Mind
• Florida Senate Passes Bill to Let Teachers Bag on Evolution in Class
• Tony Blair jumps his fare
• "Lynchings in Congo as penis theft panic hits capital"
• Would we have let Nazi Germany host an Olympics?
• The NFL Draft Has Already Started. The Dolphins sign Michigan tackle Jake Long. The Rams Are Now On The Board.
• Darwin Just Misses With Road-Rager
• DSB Found to Cause Prostate Cancer
• Muslims call to adopt Mecca time Instead of GMT, Because "Science Has Proven That Mecca is the Center of the Earth"
• Scientists Explain Red Sea Parting and Other Miracles
• Free Speech, Soviet Style: Russian Paper Closed After Running Putin Marriage Story
• ACLU Rushes to Aid of Texas Polygamist Who Want to "Be With" their kids
• Last weekend, you were much safer in Baghdad than in Chicago
• The Oklahoma City SuperSonics?
• The Color of Plants on Other Worlds: Theoretically, Red, Blue, Black...
• To the list of things we all have in common with Enrique Iglesias, add "Anna Kournikova won't marry us."
• Needles, California, Wants to Become Part of Nevada.
• Photography is not a crime. Most places.
• Disney pulls plug on virtual world
• Never Ask A Cow For Help, or What Life in the Pen Can Make a Guy Do
• Jury Convicts Wicked Old Hags Who Murdered Homeless Dudes for Fun and Profit
• William Shatner discovers that everyone in Star Trek hated him.
• 17-Year-Old Sophomore at Fresno High School Brings a Bat to a Police Shootout, With Predictable Results
• Angry Broadway Wife Tries Divorce-by-YouTube Humiliation
• Feds to collect DNA from every person they arrest
• PSA: Yes, when you go into surgery to have a household object removed from your overly-sexualized anus, they will laugh at you while you sleep
• Your appendix can be removed through your mouth. Mine is already gone. (P.S. Ouch)
• Company plans to erect two-mile-high building. God prepares to make all the construction workers speak different languages. Oh, wait, that already happens.
• Lethal injection is neither cruel nor unusual.
• Marilyn Monroe sex tape story appears to be a hoax
• Zimbabwe President urges more discrimination against whites, whom he calls "pink noses"
• Men Are More, What ... What?
• Scientists make Neanderthals speak again. "Cro-Magnons suck," says the first one interviewed.
• Last of Walt Disney's "Nine Old Men" dies
• Pete Carroll names Mark Sanchez as USC starting QB
• Lakers clinch the best record in the west with 124-101 win over Sacramento.
• Fans protest end of Disney online game - UPI
• PSA: The Myth About Your Dog's Mouth Being Clean is Just a Myth. It Could Have MRSA or Salmonella From Licking it Backside
• Grades bench Joe McKnight for the Spring, not expected to affect 2008 season eligibility
• Britney Spears has minor accident. It's not news, it's CNN
• Superstitious Yankees Jackhammer Out The Red Sox Shirt in Their Cement
• PSA: The Aliens Will Only Take The Willing, When They "Rescue" Us From a Black Hole in the Near Future
• Old and Busted: Karen Carpenter. New and Busted: Amy Winehouse. With Thigh Tendon Photo Goodness.
• Boston College Wins NCAA Hockey Title. Notre Dame Does Not.
• To Close a "Loophole", Maine Legislature Contemplated Making It a Felony To "View Children" in Public
• Because Three is Never Enough, Frontier Airlines Becomes the 4th Bankrupt Airline in a Month
• Busted! Murderer Cesar Laurean Caught by FBI in Mexico
• House passes Chinese crackdown resolution by margin of 413 to Ron Paul
• A very cool picture of Phobos, the 13.5 mile wide moon of Mars
• One More Year? Not for USC's O.J. Mayo.
• Hillary's story about a pregnant woman dying because she was denied service over lack of insurance and the $100 admission fee is totally true, except for the part about her not having insurance. Or being denied care. Or getting charged $100.
• Scientists take performance-enhancing drugs, too.
• Fully Half of All Foreclosed Homes Get Trashed Before Former Owners Leave
• Photo Depicts Happy Happy Cops Discovering Pot Plants in Burning Building
• You Need This Thudguard Helmet For Your Baby
• Student Who Got Into Yale by Fraud is Exposed and Expelled After Gay Lovers' Spat.
• FBI agent reveals Sonny Bono was clubbed to death by hit men before he slammed into that tree.
• Obama delegate quits after calling kids in a tree "monkeys". What a racist! (?)
• Larry King Freaks Out at 9-year-old Son's Little League Game. In Related News, That Dude was Still Making Babies in His 60s.
• If you recently told a homeless guy in Santa Monica to DIAF, you're going to hell, dude.
• USC Appears to Favor Mark Sanchez as Starter at QB
• Virtual Magic Kingdom (VMK) to close its virtual gates
• PSA: Sam Adams Recalls Beer
• In India, If You Are Two-Faced, You Are Treated as a Goddess. In America, If You Are Two-Faced, You Become a Politician.
• Christians Complain About School Day With Dress-Up As a Senior Citizen or Member of the Opposite Sex
• You May Now Pry The Gun From Charlton Heston's 84-Year-Old Hands
• Police Raid Car Enthusiast Rally to Bust Would-Be Street Racers, Make Governmenty Profit
• USA 2008: The Great Depression (With Pictures of "Destitute Americans in Bread Lines, Wearing Designer Clothes and Adjusting Their iPods)
• PSA: Your Darwin Fish Sticker Is Hate, Man!
• You, Too, Can Sleep With an NFL Player's Girlfriend, If You're the Cop Who Caught Him Drinking and Driving
• This Time, It's Borat Getting Away From The Banker Dude Running Down The Street
• Body Found In 1994 Identified As Runaway, Now That, in 2008, Her Parents Filed a Missing Persons Report
• From Anorexic to MILF
• Average British family eats the same six meals every week
• New Studies Show More Bias Against Fat-Asses Than Whatever Race You Happen to Hate
• Bible To Get Reworked and Modernized, e.g., Jesus Was Born in a Crowded House
• TSA Forces Woman To Remove Nipple Rings For Flight
• Sirhan Sirhan Might Might Have Have Had Had Second Second Shooter Shooter
• BMW Dealer Sells New M3 on eBay, Refuses to Honor Winning Bid of $60K
• Miami Hurricanes' Spokesman Fired For Having "Inappropriate Pornography" on School-Owned Computer. Search to Begin for Replacement With Nothing But "Appropriate Pornography" on His Computer.
• Problem: Teenage Girl Meets 19-Year-Old Molester. Solution: Sue Myspace.
• Islamic Nations To Consider Severing Diplomatic Ties With the Netherlands Because Some Dutch Guy Made a 15-Minute Anti-Muslim Video
• If Your Employees Complain That Their New Computers Don't Have Video Games, It Might be Time to Hire New People
• When Drafting an Honor Code Regarding Plagiarism, It Is Considered Poor Form to Just Copy Someone Else's
• PSA: Taping a Fully-Dressed Cheerleading Performance Is Now Chargeable As Felony Child Pornography. In Related News, Your Teenage Son Is Never Going To Be Able to Live Nears Schools or Parks as an Adult
• All Your Students' Educations Are Belong To Us
• Starbucks Plans to Ignore Court Order and Let Managers Snag Baristas' Tips
• Cubans Can Stay in Hotels. In Related News, It Used to be Illegal for Cubans to Stay in Hotels

March 2008 Demiblog

Here are the March Demiblog links:

• PSA: Before Your Next Leg Surgery, Don't Forget To Tell The Surgeon To Leave Your Anus Intact
• Look Out! Now The Stingrays Are Killing People Who Stayed in the Boat
• In Lancashire, If You Toss a Bag into the Lake, People Will Just Automatically Assume Its a Baby
• Maxim's "World's Unsexiest Woman," Sarah Jessica Parker Explains How Guys Like Me Hurt Her Feelings by Voting for Her
• Media Apologizes to Suspected Parents Over Printing Suspicions in Maddie McCann Case. Next Up: Apologies to OJ and Robert Blake.
• SI.com Picks the 2008 NCAA Tourney. Stewart Mandell Has UCLA Over USC in the Finals
• Lakers' Bynum Won't Return Until the Playoffs
• It's Good to be the King, Unless What You Are King of is Spam. That's Just Good for 26 Years in PMITA Prison
• Tommy Bowden is a Prick
• Then: Coppin State, 4-19, Sucks. Now: Coppin State, 16-20, is in the Big Dance
• PSA: If You Think Its a Good Idea to Insert a $12K Diamond Ring in a Balloon, Get a Grip.
• Rats Eat Ethiopian Farmer's Life Savings. In Other News, You Can Bait your Rat Trap With Cash Next Time You Run Out of Cheese
• Jurors Acquit, Then Hug, Old Murderer Who Confessed To His Cats
• PSA: Giving a Loaded Gun to a Suicidal Girlfriend = Manslaughter
• After Some Drama, Officials Let Woman Bring M--F--king Skeleton on the M--F--king Plane
• Tim Couch - The Douchebag Who Wants To Make Anonymous Internet Comments Illegal
• If You Want To Make The 50 Dumbest Idiots in Your Village Go Blind, Tell Them The Virgin Mary Has Appeared in an Image on the Sun
• People Actually Turn More Liberal With Age. Just Imagine How Conservative George Bush Must Have Been as a Child
• NBA Executive of the Year Could Be That Guy Every Laker Fan Wanted Fired Last Summer
• Your Mom Warned You This Would Happen. Teen Dies Car Surfing Over a Speed Bump.
• Attorney-Client Privilege Keeps Innocent Man In Prison 26 Years
• Israeli Missiles Destroy Buildings. Allah Saves the Quran, However. No explanation for why Allah doesn't save the people in the buildings.
• Great News For Homebuyers in the O.C. Homes Are Now Just 7% Overvalued. That's The Best Bargain in Five Years.
• If your lifelong dream is to meet Patrick Swayze in person, it's not a good time to procrastinate.
• Israeli Researcher Suggests Moses Was High on Mount Sinai
• After Pulling Off Heists That Yielded $0 and $9, The Green Skeleton Bandit's Run Comes to a Fatal End
• Don't Eat White Snow. Yellow Snow Still Bad, Too.
• NBA Lottery Mock Draft 2008 Projects OJ Mayo Going #6 to the Clippers. Suddenly, a Sophomore Season Sounds Pretty Good.
• War Colombia! War Ecuador!
• New Hotness: John Denver's Rocky Mountain High. Old Hotness: Moses's Mount Sinai High.
• Like you, the gods don't like their jobs. Unlike you, a god can retire at age 11

The February DemiBlog Links

These were the February Demiblog links:

• 28 Inch Woman Births 18 Inch Baby
• Twenty Years After Serving Twenty Years For Shooting Cop, Man Faces Murder Charges Because Cop Finally Died of Infection
• An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth was then. A tooth for an eye is now.
• Indebted Accountant Duct Tapes Himself to Death in Hotel Bathtub
• Lamar University (aka the First I-AA to Beat a Ranked I-A Opponent in Football) to Field a Team Again
• Boy George denies false imprisonment charge. No word on whether he'll admit the true imprisonment charge.
• La Habra Legend, Hot-Rod Builder, Boyd Coddington Dies At 63
• Scientists discover how and why the cast of Apocalypto looked like the Blue Man Group
• Congress, With Nothing More Pressing on the Docket, Shall Investigate Whether Roger Clemens Lied
• Tennessee's Reign as Nation's Top Team Lasts One Game
• Why Is It That Every Time Someone Carpets The Parking Lot With Nakked Photos of Themselves, It's an Ugly Man Rather Than a Beautiful Woman?
• Company That Boasts "Nobody Can Get You Closer To Sharks" Proves It By Getting a Customer Into a Shark's Actual Gullet
• Papua New Guinea, Where They Still Hang Witches Whose Neighbors Die Suddenly, Though Obvious Acts of Sorcery
• 11-1 Since The Gasol Trade, Lakers Are Now Best in the West
• Out of Beer? Munch on Doritos Instead.
• Los Angeles Tap Water Judged Tastiest in World
• Bitches Complain That Southwest Discriminated Against Them For Being Too Pretty
• Sweet Sixteen and Never Been ... Nah, She's Got 7 Kids Already!
• Delta Chi Frat Boy Mugshots. What Body Part Does Suspect No. 1 Remind You Of?
• Three Weeks Late Returning DVDs = Getting Arrested Six Months Later
• Old and Busted: Christians Burning Witches at the Stake. New Hotness: Saudi Arabia Executing Witches in 2008
• USC to stay at Coliseum for 50 years under new proposal
• Saudi Arabia Bans All Red Things For Valentine's Day
• Pride of Aloha To Leave Hawaiian Waters For Good
• Image Found in Tree Log. Christians Say It's a Faceless Jesus. Greeks See Icarus Spreading His Wings.
• Radical Muslims Have Finally Forgiven and Forgotten About Those Danish Cartoons of Mohammed. Just Kidding. They Are Still Plotting the Cartoonists' Murders.
• Old and Busted: Laws Against Selling Liquor to Drunks. New Hotness: Laws Against Selling Food to Lardasses
• Sharia Law in UK is 'Unavoidable'
• Dobson Endorses Huckabee. Won't Endorse McCain Unless The Democrats Nominate Satan
• American Woman Jailed in Saudi Arabia for Sitting With Man at Starbucks
• Travelling Internationally With a Laptop, Digital Camera or Cellphone? Border Agents' Right to Inspect Means You Might Lose It Until They Can Read The Whole Thing.
• A Movie Worth Scalping Tickets For: Woody Allen's "Vicky Cristina Barcelona" to Feature Scarlett Johansson and Penelope Cruz in Steamy Love Scene.
• Amy Winehouse Tried To Get a Visa to Go To The Grammies, But They Said "No, No, No."
• Authorities Arrest Pretty Much The Entire Hierarchy of the Gambino Crime Family
• Recruit Admits He Lied About Getting Scholarship Offer From Cal
• From the Frying Pan into the Fire: Shaq Goes From The Heat to the Suns
• Mitt Romney Bows Out Early
• Lion Found Dead on Orange County Freeway
• Coastal Commission Rejects Tollroad Extension Near Trestles Surf Spot
• Iranian Faces Execution for Drinking Alcohol. Don't Overreact, Please. It Was, After All, His FOURTH Time Drinking.
• Going a Little Fast in Daytona Beach? We'll Need a DNA Swab, Thanks.
• Britney Spears's Mom's Court Declaration About How Batshit Crazy Her Little Girl Has Become
• 'Mate, your girlfriend was a bloke'
• Eli Manning: "I'm Going to Disneyland." Disneyland: "Sorry, He Lied."
• Twins Kick Loose Pregnant Mom's Cervical Cancer. Men With Testicular Cancer Still Looking For Better Solution.
• Plane Misses Motorists by Inches
• The Bad News: Your Doctor Might Not Be Washing Off Germs Effectively. The Good News: Her Half-Assed Hand Washing Pleases Allah
• Not Every Mr. Monk Is a Genius. Some Are Darwin-Eligible.
• Motorcyclist Wearing Full BBQ Whilest Riding Makes The News
• Dumb Girl of the Day aka There are no Sexy Photos With Floating Turds in Them
• Miley Cyrus Changes Her Name
• Chargers and Saints To Play in London Next October

January Demiblog Links

These were the January Demiblog links:

• Britney Spears Taken Away Again.
• There Will Be No White Male Presidential Nominee From The Democratic Party
• UK Teachers Don't Not to Say Mum and Dad, Because That Assumes They Aren't Gay Parents
• e-Harmony For Prisoners
• Old and Busted: Worrying About Photos With "Red-Eye". New Hotness: Worrying About Photos With "Black Eye".
• Best Cell Phone Pic of the Day
• Imam Begins Prayer at Statehouse by Asking Allah For Victory Over The Disbelievers
• From The "This Might Not End Well" File: Scholars Claim To Have Proof That Prior Drafts of Koran Predate Creation of Islam
• In Real Life, Ennis Dies Before Jack
• Freak on a Leash Denied Bus Ride by Driver Who Says "No Dogs Allowed."
• Satanists Steal Holy Water From Turin Church
• Saudi Arabia to Lifts Ban on Women Drivers: "Allowing women to drive will only bring sin," Say the Devout.
• Fed Cuts Interest Rate Three Quarters
• The Only Chargers in the Super Bowl Will be Ex-Chargers Junior Seau and Rodney Harrison
• Third Tynes Kick's a Charm. It's New England v. NYG
• Brother Can Spare a Dime. Houston Panhandler Found With $3,426.78.
• ACLU Assists Senator Craig, Arguing That You Have a Constitutional Right to Discreetly Shag in a Public Restroom
• Jesus Appears in Rock. Or a Sleestak Appears in Rock. You Decide.
• O.C. Surfer Wins Mavericks Surf Contest
• "Pulp Fiction" Screenwriter Roger Avary Arrested for Manslaughter & DUI
• What's the New PETA Priority? Making Sure That Alleged Cannibal Is Put on a Vegetarian Diet
• Viewers Yawn at the 2008 BCS Slate
• Michigan's Ryan Mallett to Transfer to UCLA.
• Convicted Dead Horse Rapist Gets Out And Turns Into a Dead Deer Rapist
• The Golden Globes Won't Be Televised
• Hot: Reuniting With Long Long Twin. Not: Finding Out She's Your Wife
• Pregnant Marine's Charred Remains Found
• R.I.P. Hillary
• Tiger Victims Search For Lawyer Ends With The Guy Whose Highest Profile Clients All Got Convicted.
• Shopping Center Bans Grandparents For Life Due to "Terrorist Act" of Photographing Their Grandchildren
• First Baby of the Year Named Leai. Brothers Lucas and Anakin are Excited.
• Man Found Shot to Death at Glendale-Forest Lawn. Police Worried They May Find More Bodies.
• Rose Parade Protest Is a Dud
• If You Were Obeying God Because Of The Predicted 2007 Apocalypse, You Can Go Back To Sinning Now
• Family Sees Virgin Mary On Living Room Wall. In Related News, The Virgin Mary Is Now Faceless and Featureless
• USC Destroys Illinois in Rose Bowl
• No Hannah Montana Tickets For Essay Writer Whose Daddy Didn't Really Die in Iraq

Posthumous Blogging

This is plenty sad. The blogging soldier was killed in Iraq.

http://www.andrewolmsted.com/

Loyette Is Born

Brendan and Becky's kid, the "Loyette" was born on New Year's Eve. Brendan being the popular blogger that he is, got a plug on Instapundit (the best plug I ever got was from AOL). They could have been even more famous with just a bit more planning. Remember the Daylight Saving Twins story? That story can be topped easily. All you need to do is (i) have twins, not just one baby; (ii) have the first one born on New Year's Day, just after midnight, in Bullhead City Nevada; and then (iii) wheel your butt across the bridge over the Colorado River to Laughlin so your younger twin can be born in California, in the year prior to the year in which the older twin was born in Arizona. Brendan and Becky were just one baby, half a day and a few states away from that sort of magic. Maybe next time. I'm sure they are happy nonetheless. For the time being, my mug is all over Brendan's blog, alongside Mike Tran as part of his payoff on the USC-UCLA game wager. It was the second-to-last picture taken of me before doctors removed part of my body, which is now no longer complete, as God designed it.

November Demiblog Links

These were the November Demiblog links:

• Go Gay or Pay aka Political Incorrectness Gone Mad: Offering a 10% Discount on Gay Travel Websites Is Now Discrimination Against Straights, Who Would Apparently Prefer Not To Go to Gay Travel Sites
• Political Correctness Gone Mad: White Irish Dude Charged With Calling White Woman a "Bitch." Gets Prison For "Racially Aggravated Disorderly Behaviour" Because He Added That She Was an "English Bitch." (Even Though The Bitch was Welsh).
• Calls in Sudan for Execution of Briton for Offending the Religion of Peace by Naming a Teddy Bear
• Missing Porn Actress/Student's Body Found
• Rodney King Shot by Non-Police
• British Teacher Accused in Sudan Blasphemy Case Has Already Been Convicted
• "Baby Grace" Was Murdered Because She Wouldn't Say "Please" and "No, Sir," Admits Mother
• The New Hot Search Term of 2007: "Zoey Zane"
• SAy It Ain't So! USC to Move from Coliseum to Rose Bowl?
• NAACP Persuades School To Cancel "Ten Little Indians" Play, Because The Original Title Said "Niggers"
• Super Bowl Sized Crowd Watches North Korean Factory Boss Executed for Making International Phone Calls
• PSA: Once the Pin Is Out of the Grenade, Just Throw It Away
• Now That We've Seen The Universe, We've Begun Its Demise.
• School Insists on Green-Suited Santa Because a Red Suit Is Just Free Advertising for Coke
• Chick's Getting Owned by Dick's
• The Religion of Peace Causes Teacher to be Arrested After Her Class Names Its Teddy Bear 'Muhammad'
• "Alimony has nothing to do with the criminal act. ... It's not much of an argument to say that she killed his child and she should be punished for it by losing the payment."
• USC Defeats Southern Illinois For ESPN Anaheim Classic Title
• Psst. You Wanna See a Guy Who Looks Like the Spooky Trees From The Haunted Mansion?
• The Flying Spaghetti Monster Appears in a Pumpkin Pie
• Abortion: It's Not Just Your Right - It's Eco-Friendly!
• Saudis Further Explain Rape Victim's Sentence: She Brought That Rape Upon Herself.
• When You Are a Sex Offender Named "Pheuk Kue", You Can Just Resign Yourself To Getting Arrested Every Time a Girl Goes Missing
• Fireplaces To Be Banned in Southern California
• UK Holds That Man Who Fathered Child During One-Night Stand Has No Parental Rights Whatsoever
• Ole Miss Whacks Coach O
• PSA: "Noose" is Now a Racial Slur. Not Word on How Soon "Driving a Nail" Will be an Anti-Christian Slur
• USC Beats Miami to Get to the Finals of the ESPN Anaheim Classic. Beat the Salukis!
• As Close to Going Out on Top as He's Gonna Get: After Upsetting Texas, Dennis Franchione Resigns as Texas A&M Coach.
• Nebraska Fires Bill Callahan After He Did An "Excellent Job In Every Area" Except Wins and Losses
• Another Week, Another #1 Loses at Home to Another Unranked Opponent
• The Bad News: You've Miscarried. The Good News: Three of Your Quads Are Still In There.
• National Anthem Botcher Sings About His Penis Being as Big as a Mountain
• Brazil Jails 15-Year-Old Girl With 20-34 Men for a Month. It Went About as Well as You Might Expect.
• Britain's Favourite Words: Nincompoop, Love, Mum. In That Order. The Brits Don't Like Their Stepdads, Do They?
• PSA: It's a Crime To Drive a Flintstone-Style Foot-Powered Car.
• Antarctic Cruise Ship Sinking
• Convicted Lawyer Wants to Teach Morality to UCLA Undergrads Rather Than Spend 9 Years in Prison.
• This Is What Happens When You Eat Your Hair
• Court of Appeal Rules You Can Stand in Times Square Without Necessary Being a Criminal
• Larry King On The Disappearing Act of the Medical Malpractice-Committing Doctor Who Treated Kanye West's Mom Right Before She Died Unexpectedly: "I Have Seen It All Now"
• Billions of Jellyfish Wipe Out Irish Salmon Farm
• BCS At-Large Pool Cold Expand to 18. Notre Dame Still Sucks.
• Cost To Cure Drug Addicts: £1.9 Million Each. Like, You Could Buy Each Guy His Own Prison for That.
• Tustin Wood-Chipper Accident Victim is Identified
• Malaysian Sues Britain For $4 Trillion. Wants Compensation For All That Colonizing in the 16th to 19th Centuries.
• Jesus Flapjack Relists on eBay, Proceeds to Go to Charity. Sells for $29.
• No More Speaking Mexican.
• Shooting Victim Jailed For Not Ratting Out Gunman.
• Gas Price Protester Hunger Strikes Himself to Death
• Man Rats Out Brother With DNA Sample to Prove Murder Allegations. Gets Tripped Up When His Own DNA Ties Him to the Unsolved Rape of an 81 Year Old Woman. Mom & Dad Must Be So Proud
• Rapper Lil' Romeo Earns a Basketball Scholarship to USC
• Old and Busted: Global Warming Blamed For Poor Snow Levels in Swiss Ski Resorts. New Hotness: OMG That's a Lot of Snow!
• Angels Fans Wonder: WTF Were You Thinking? Cabrera For Who???
• Teenage Hunter Covers Up With Brown and White Blanket. It Doesn't End Well.
• Kirk Cameron: Proving The Existence of God Is Easy
• Baptist Church Supports Interfaith Services Right Up To When The Muslims Plan to Worship
• Bonds Market Collapses
• Mandatory Paternity Testing Proposed Down Under
• The Creepy Phenomenon of Dead People's Still-Active MySpace Page. This Girl Was Murdered by Friend Andrew, Who Then Killed Himself. His Page Is Still Up, Too.
• U.S. Tops Cuba 6-3, Wins Baseball World Cup
• Political Correctness in Britain Includes Making Children's Book Publishers Remove Fire-Breathing Dragon For Health & Safety Reasons
• PSA: When a Cop Threatens to Tase You, and You Say "Do It." That's a Tasing For Sure.
• The House Was an Absolute Mess, But The Mom Looks Pretty Good
• Driver Completes "Cannonball Run" Across US in 31 Hours
• WTF? Readers Flame 9-Year-Old Cancer Victim's Blog, Threatening To Kill Her, Etc.
• Sharia Justice: Saudi Court Doubles Punishment For Gang-Rape Victim Because She Spoke to the Press. And Her Lawyer Is Disbarred, Too.
• Orlando Intruduces the Dark Side of a Truly Color Blind Society" Caucasian Man Mistaken For African-American Suspect, Can't Get License Back Until He Proves He's Not The Black Dude.
• How To Get a Paid Vacation, er, Suspension from Your Teaching Job: "Eeny, Meeny, Miny, Mo...."
• Dennis Dixon Out for The Season
• Step 1: Dress Like a Whore and Get Booted From Plane. Step 2: Undress Like a Whore For Playboy. Step 3: Profit.
• British Ficycle Bucker Gets Branded as Sex Offender
• Because of the Spread of American Ebonics, Santas in Australia Are No Longer Allowed to Say "Ho Ho Ho," As It Is Offensive to Women
• OJ Simpson Learns What Happens In Vegas Can Keep You In Vegas
• "Government Inspectors Come Down Hard on Penis Pasta"
• Eventually, Jesus Is Going To Be Revealing Himself Using Nothing But Stick Figures That Will Sell on eBay Like Hotcakes
• Category 5 Cyclone "Code Named Sidr" Is About To Destroy Calcutta
• Saudis Execute Suspected Sorcerer
• That Dust on The Pirates of the Caribbean Ride Might Actually Be Some Disney Freak's Freshly Spread Ashes
• Hey, If You're Getting Paid To Bang a Gimp, You're a Much-Needed Volunteer, Not a Prostitute, You Silly Whore.
• Report Says Binge-drinking "May Not Hurt The Unborn." Anna Nicole's Corpse Files Motion To Regain Custody.
• Former US Supreme Court Justice Not Jealous of Demented Hubby's New Crush
• Stars Who've Boobed
• San Francisco Disappears. Last Seen in Indiana
• Pride of Hawaii Completes a Weeklong Barf and Squirt Cruise
• Photographer a Cop, Go to Jail. Do Not Pass Go, But Do Collect $8,000
• UFO Conference
• Hold Your Applause. Americans Getting The Clap in Record Numbers.
• Is AIDS Always Fatal. Health Officials Say Yes. 40% of You Say No. Magic Johnson Wants to Believe.
• Pilots and Officials Want to Believe, Call For U.S. UFO Probe.
• Fuzzy Camera Image Darts Around Gas Station. People Want to Believe It's a Ghost
• Among All The Strange Phobias to Ruin your Life, How About Scotch Eggs?
• Drought? What, Me Worry? Georgia Man Uses 200,000 Gallons of Water a Month.
• Finally, Something All College Kids Can Protest Together: Shortage of Ingredients May Cause Spike in Beer Prices
• Linebacker Chris Collins Dismissed from Oklahoma State Football Team After Guilty Plea To Sexual Assault of 12 Year Old
• Cromartie Picks Three Manning Passes
• "St. Patrick said he had sexual contact with the nun more than 100 times, beginning when he was in seventh grade."
• Lawyers Says HIV+ Homeless Rape Defendant Isn't Guilty Because Victim May Have Been Sleepwalking
• Wyoming Coach Apologizes for Obscene Gesture.
• Bad: You Lose Local Election by a Single Vote. Worse: Your Wife Forgot to Vote.
• Binge-Drinking Girls Find Infamy on Facebook and Youtube
• Cops Told To Use Canned Police Reports on DUIs. Translation: Your Speech Is Slurred and You Stink of Booze Before The Cop Even Gets Out of His Car.
• Cranky Greg's View: Thank God for Trial Lawyers!
• Rooting for 0-16
• Drunk Man and Drunk Woman Bumping Uglies = He Raped Her, Legally.
• Study Finds That Laughing At Notre Dame Is As Effective at Treating Back Pain as Visiting a Chiropractor
• English Speeding Ticket Cameras Bust Two-Year-Old Girl As She Sits at Home
• Man Forgets Car at Gas Station and Walks Home.
• There Is No God, Toothpaste Is Poison, "Miss" Means Hooker, and Other Lessons Brought To Your Children By Some Random Substitute Teacher
• Spanish Father Loses Custody of Kids Because He Walks With a Limp.
• The Commonwealth of Massachusetts to Ban Internet Gambling Because It Is Evil. In Unrelated News, Three More Massachusetts Casinos Are About To Get Licensed
• Los Angeles Bans The N-Word
• Nothing Says "I Love You" Like Injecting a Syringe of Your Own Blood Into Her Abdomen When She's Least Expecting It.
• Surprise! Fatso Is Going To Outlive You, Skinnie.
• Tidal Wave Heads for English Coast
• Dude, You're Getting a Tequila Sunrise!
• 252 Pound Man Gets Down To 174. That's Worth a CNN Headline.
• Student Previews School Massacre on YouTube, Then Carries It Out
• Duncanville Tries To Crack Down On Sex Parties
• Rudy! Rudy! Rudy! Evangelicals Support Pro-Gay, Pro-Choice Divorced Man For President.
• Philly Re-Elects Judge Who Says You Can't Rape a Hooker. You Can Only Steal Her Services.
• Court Rejects "Roe v. Wade for Men." Societal Interest in Child Drawing Financial Support Check From Parents Outweighs Men's Reproductive Freedom. Whether Baby Ever Draws a Breath Is Still Subject To Mom's Reproductive Freedoms.
• Student Demands School Catch Vandal Who Drew Swastikas On Her Door. School Complies. It Was Her.
• Latest Rumor: LA Times To Reveal Mrs. Clinton To Also Be a Womanizer
• New Drug Alert! This Is Not good Shit.
• Former Man Exposes Her Genitals To Settle Argument
• Navy Cancels Classes to Celebrate Win At Notre Dame
• World's Biggest Sexual Loser Caught in Hospital Necrophilia Act on 92-Year-Old's Corpse
• Lou Holtz Gives Navy a Pep Talk Before They Break Notre Dame's NCAA-Record 43-Game Win Streak
• Navy Defeats Notre Dame. Navy Defeats Notre Dame. Navy Defeats Notre Dame.
• Man Turns Up Alive After Mom Identifies and Cremates Body of Homeless Dude Who Bore a Striking Resemblance to Her Son
• Saudi Marriage Expert Advises Men in the Right Way to Beat Their Wives
• Old and Busted: Footsies and Wide Stances. New Hotness: Sneezes, Coughs and Loud Zipper Noises
• Man Sues Over Loss Of Penis. Tort Reformers Suggest He Suck It, If He Can Find It.
• All Hell Is Breaking Loose in Pakistan
• Brain Injury Turns Prudish Housewife Into Raging Nymphomaniac
• University of Delaware Decides To Roundfile Their Thought Police Program
• Carefully Planned Liposuction = Six-Pack Abs!
• Chupacabra Turns Out To Be A Bald Coyote
• Governor Endorses Giving Licenses To Illegals Because Unlicensed Drivers Are 5X As Likely To Cause Accidents. In Related News, Because Convicted Felons Are 20X as Likely To Kill You, The Governor Will Be Pardoning All Convicted Felons.
• Therapist Charged with Molesting Patient
• New Book Alleges Kentucky Players Threw a Football Game in 1962, and Did Oral Gay Stuff For Money. Rejected Title: "We Threw a Game and Blew a Gay Man."
• God Must Hate Military Funeral Protesters, or Else He Wouldn't Have Let a Jury Award Such a Big Verdict Against Them
• Britney Spears Proves Her Fitness as a Mother by Not Doing Cocaine Herself, But Merely Letting New Male Acquaintances Snort It Off Her Chest, Allegedly
• Wal-Mart To Sell $199 Microsoft-Free Computer

What Level of Education Do You Need To Understand This Blog

Criticsrant.com has the answer:

October DemiBlog Links

These were the October Demiblog links:

• Another Politician Who Is Definitely Not Gay Will Be Resigning
• Kobe Becomes a Boo-Be
• Scumbag Sports Marketer Sues Reggie Bush, Arranges to Meet With NCAA on Friday
• ASU QB Carpenter Unable to Throw During Practice
• Lakers 2007 Opener Sets The Pace: 45 Points for Kobe. Zero Ws for the Standings.
• OC Sheriff Carona Indicted
• Wiccans Open Parochial School. Christians Respond: It's "Like We're Being Attacked."
• Nebraska's Bad Season Gets Worse - Keller Done For The Season
• Atheist Teen Challenges Moment-Of-Silence Law, Because The Really Stupid Atheists Think Moments of Silence Can Only Be Used To Pray
• PSA: You Can Go To Prison For Two Years For Snapping Cell Phone Photos of Fully Dressed People in Public Places
• Not News: So Cal's Air Stinks. News: Worse Than Usual.
• Sex Offender Does The Right Thing By Slipping Into Some Heavy Equipment at Work and Turning the Machine On
• CNN Asks: "Does your house have ghosts?"
• The Eloi and Morlocks Are Coming, Says Scientist
• Kenyan Monkeys Make Lewd Gestures At Human Women They Want To Hit
• Man Shoves Bottle Up His Bum
• Da Vinci Code Prequel Angels & Demons to Go Into Production. Illiterate Media Calling It a Sequel.
• Old and Busted: D'Backs Lose Just 1 Game Out of 20. New Hotness: D'Backs Lose 1 World Series Game Out of One.
• Glenn Beck Blames California Wildfires On Damn Environmentalists
• Limbaugh Blames Environmentalists for California Fires
• Senator Reid Blames Global Warming For Californa Fires
• Barbara Boxer Blames Wildfires on Iraq War
• On a Bet, Brady Quinn Wears a USC Jersey. Fortunately For Trojan Fans, He Didn't Try It On in During the Recruiting Phase
• Bolivian Prostitutes Sew Lips Together in Protest. Story Doesn't Say Which.
• Y'all Knew Better Than To Pick #2 Straight Up Against An Unranked Opponent for the Third Straight Week, Right?
• Absolute Poker Cheating Scandal Blown Wide Open
• Quebec Legislature Bans Word 'Weathervane', Because It Is Hurtful.
• Scalpers Making 1000%+ Profits on Joel Osteen Sermons
• Nevada's Chester "the Molester" Stiles Arrested
• Cops Taser Man Videotaping Illegal Search From a Distance. ""He had refused to drop the camera which could be used as a weapon."
• 72 Ideas to Simplify Your Life. No. 1: Skip Lists of 72 Ways To Simplify Your Life
• Sinead O'Connor Struggled With Suicide. Has Advice for Britney Spears
• Britney Spears Flashes Her Vagina Again
• Yes Alladin, There Is a MILF, But In The True MILF, The "I" Stands for Islamic
• Suspended Monsignor Claims He Was "Only Pretending to be Gay," Because Seriously, What Straight Guy Doesn't Pretend to be Gay Once in a While to Learn About the Dangers the Underground World of Gay Sex
• Vatican Suspends Monsignor Who Anonymously Told Reporter That Hiding The Sausage Doesn't Feel Sinful.
• Another Rat Leaves The Sinking Ship of Notre Dame
• Al Gore Wins Nobel Peace Prize
• The Irish Trojan Passes The Colorado Bar Exam
• Old and Busted: Wake Up The Echoes, Win One For The Gipper. New Hotness: Dig Up The Gipper's Bones
• 4-Year-Old Girl Dies After Falling Into Grand Canyon
• Dead Reverend Died With a Rubber Member in His Arse
• If You Don't Know Your Ass From a Hole in the Ground, This Photo is Gonna Mess You Up
• Convoy Guards Kill Two Christian Women in Car in Iraq, But They Apologize
• Believers Flock to See Image of Humanoid Silhouette That Everyone Knows To Be The Virgin Mary
• Soon You'll Have To Ask Permission Before You Fly. You Know Who Else Used to Make People Get Permission to Travel Within Their Own Country?
• Gay Seniors Don't Want Straights Moving Into Their Neighborhood "No Matter How Friendly They Are"
• Police Foil 39-Year-Old Nerd's Plans to Blow Up High School Reunion and Impersonate Charlie Weis
• Judge Denies Senator Craig's Attempt to Reverse Stance
• Alcohol Enemas: How To Get So Drunk Off Your Ass That It Kills You.
• Top Gator Defender Arrested on Burglary Charges. Geaux Tigers.
• Stanford QB Ostrander Suffers Seizure
• Bengals Use Frickin' Lasers To Shoo Pooping Pigeons
• Worst Coaches in Sports? #1 Norv. #3 Charlie.
• Bear Under High Bridge Netted After Being Tranquilized.
• Kings Defeat Ducks to Open NHL Season in London. Jolly Good.
• "Let Me Go You $#@%^ing $#%$#%$#. I'll $#%$#%#$. I Am Not a Terrorist. $#%$#. %^%$^. $%#@$#@. Mrrfff. Unnnngh. Mrffffff."
• Batshiat Crazy Neighbor Will Shoot You Over a Hedge Dispute
• Who Would Want Marty's 14-2 Chargers, When You Can Have Norv's 1-3 Chargers?

~

September DemiBlog Links

These were the September Demiblog links:

Over Larry Craig's Nay Vote, Senate Passes Bill Supporting Guys Who Might Take a Wide Stance in the Stall

Carrot Top: The Scariest Bitch in Hollywood

This Is What $1.50 Buys You These Days in the Florida Red Light Districts

Nevada Girl From Sex Tape Found Safe, So To Speak.

U.S. Judge Strikes Michigan Law Permitting Police to Force Pedestrians to Take Breath Tests

Lake Havasu Amoeba Kills Healthy Teenager

Disbarred Lawyer to Teach Legal Ethics Class

Strapping a Bomb to a Fall Guy Is Becoming a Popular Way to Rob Banks

Soon, It Will Be Against The Law To Discriminate Against People With Smelly Hair

Mel Gibson Moving His Family "300 Miles Away From Their Home in California" To Costa Rica. In Related News, Costa Rica is Closer Than Ever.

Soldier in Iraq Killed One day After Becoming a Father

Milton Bradley Suffers The Stupidest Season-Ending Injury in the History of Sports

Smelley the Cock to Start at QB For South Carolina

This Is What Marcia Brady Looks Like Now

Oscar De La Hoya In a Tutu. It Was Inevitable, Wasn't It?

Teacher Who Banged Students Executes His Own Sentence

Baboon Gang Breaks Into Houses, Steals All The Food and Craps All Over The Place

A Trip Into Space Makes Salmonella Bacteria Deadlier

PSA: If a Casino Humiliates You By Telling You To Cover Your Sloppy Tits, Taking It To The Media Just Adds To The Embarrassment

1971: NASA's James Hansen Warns of Ice Age. 2007: NASA's James Hansen Warns of Global Hotbox.

Angels Clinch AL West Title

A Fifth of London Crimes Committed by Immigrants, Mostly Whites From Poland.

Wofford Defeats Appalachian State, Ends 17-Game Winning Streak

Notre Dame Goes 0-4 For First Time in School History

PSA: Fake Bombs in Airports Do Not Qualify as Performance Art

USC RBs Find Holes Like A Lincoln Tunnel

Deputy's Wife Videotape Sex With 16-Year-Old; Cops Arrest 16-Year-Old For Videotaping Sex With a Minor

Jotting Down Bookstore Prices Will Get You Booted From the Harvard Bookstore For Infringing on Their "Intellectual Property"

Misguided Prison Officials Thwart Suicide Attempt by Prosecutor Accused in Child Sex Sting

Wedding Bell Blues: Yankees Success Could Put Damper on Trojans' Wedding Plans

It's Official: Landis Is a Dope

Old and Busted: Blacks Marching for the Right to Attend Regular Schools. New Hotness: Blacks Marching For the Right to Beat Up White Boys.

Pamela Anderson Will Do You If You Pay Off Her Gambling Debts

Meet The Six Racist Freaks Held In West Virginia Torture Case

Courtney Love to Launch Perfume. Would You Pay Money To Smell Like Her?

Jesse Jackson says Obama, Who Is Only Half-Black, Is "Acting Like He's White."

PSA: If The Judge Suspends Your License and You Walk Straight to Your Car and Drive Off, The Cops Might Bust You.

Britney Spears Ordered To Undergo Drug Testing and Parenting Classes

Old and Busted:Bird Flu. New Hotness: Deadly Amoeba

Venezuelan Accident Victim Wakes Up During Autopsy. Doctors Say They Had Started To Suspect He Was Alive When They Cut Him Open and He Started Bleeding.

Old and Busted: Football Players Hold Hands, Pat Each Others' Asses. New Hotness: Football Players Kissing on the Sidelines. Go Gators!

Tasering of UF Student Sparks Uproar. In Related News, Les Miles Says Florida Football Players Attend More Political Functions.

Arghhh, it's Talk Like a Pirate Day Again

Old and Busted: Being Scared by Pennywise the Clown. New Hotness: Being Afraid of No-Nose Gardner

Who Wouldn't Want to Ride the SLUT?

Alabama: Land of $15 Mother/Daughter Hooker Teams

TS Humberto Forms Wednesday Morning, Coming Ashore in Galveston Wednesday Night, Maybe as a Hurricane

Kanye West Worries That Someone Might Be "Looking at Me Like I'm a Fag"

Paris Hilton All Over 50 Cent. Alabaman on the Street Remarks: "I Ain't Got Much Money, But At Least My Daughter Ain't With a Black Fella."

Putin Dissolves Russian Government, Which Most People Find Almost as Interesting as Paris Hilton Sleeping With 50 Cent.

Kathy Griffin Accepts Emmy and Announces That Jesus Had Nothing to Do With Her Win. Declares Her Emmy to be God.

Oklahoma Fan: It Takes Balls to Wear a Texas Shirt in This Here Bar. We Takes Them Balls.

Animal Rights Activists Free Farm Animals, Resulting in The Animals' Swift Death

"And Now," Said the Mugger, "I'm Going to Suck Your Feet"

Graphic Child Molestation Movie Rocks Toronto as 'Feel-Awful' Film of the Year. Think of It as The Brown Bunny Meets Chester the Molester.

Vegan Teacher Urges DA To File Child Endangerment Charges Against School for Serving Milk to Children

Congo Officials Confirm Ebola Outbreak

Kanye West Says He Got Screwed Out of MTV Awards Because of His Money and His Skin; Promises He'll Never Return To MTV

Since It Didn't Give Him The Benefit of Keeping His Sex Trolling Habit a Secret, Senator Craig Tries To Withdraw Guilty Plea On Ground It Was Not "Intelligently" Made

USC Nebraska Tickets Are Hot

Portuguese Police: Parents Who Went to Dinner and Left Missing Toddler Alone in Hotel Room Might Have Killed Her First

High School Musical Star: "I Apologize for Nude Photos." Horny Teenage Boys: "No Apology Needed."

Bogus Date Rape Charges: No Longer Just a Man's Problem

Pope Blasts Selfish Europeans For Not Having Enough Children, Because What The World Needs Most Is An Extra 14 Billion People

UCLA defeats BYU, , Breaking 11-Game Win Streak (Nation's Longest)

Washington defeats Boise State, Breaking 14-Game Win Streak (Nation's Longest)

Nude Picture of ‘High School Musical’ Star Surfaces on Web. Over/Under on Disney Firing Her Is Yesterday.

AP Football Poll To Include Lower Division Schools

In Lieu of Traditional Gift of Iron, Bin Laden to Give U.S. a Video on Sixth Anniversary of 9/11

Dollar Tree Manager Fails to Lock Store For Holiday. Fifteen Shoppers Enter Closed Store and Find Nothing Worth Stealing.

Will Craig Resign, or Change His Mind? Aides Can't Provide a Straight Answer.

Craig Supporters Call for Boycott of Minneapolis Airport

What Might Happen If You Buy Cheap Flip Flops at Wal-Mart

Corrupt Official Facing Copyright Charges Reads Plagiarized Apology At Trial

AccuWeather Presents: The Clouds That Could Be a Cat 3 Storm in New York City in a Week

Mexican President: "Where There Are Mexicans, It Is Mexico."

Lifeguard Rescues Shark From Swimmers

CNN Offers Real Estate Advice: Bury St. Joseph Near Your For-Sale Sign

Is The Destruction in Black America is Self-Inflicted?

Judge Wants Every UK Citizen and Vistor in DNA Database

Defense Says Accused Pig Farmer Is Too Stupid to be Serial Killer

Welcome Home to the Crew of the USS John C. Stennis

Meet The Oregon Man Who Went to a Nevada Whorehouse and Left Hids Baby In The Hot Car For Two Hours

Hate America's Legal System? In England, If You Are Walking Down The Sidewalk and a Cop Runs You Over, You Can't Sue the Police. They Fine You For Denting the Car.

God Gives Fat Wicca Teacher Winning Megalotto Ticket, So He Can Finance Teaching More Wicca Stuff

OC Gets a 4.7 Earthquake

Red Sox Pitcher Throws No-No In Second MLB Start

Boy Bitten By Snake. Chief Retaliates By Killing Four Suspected Witches.

Piers Morgan, Former Editor WhoWrote Headline "You'd have to be an idiot to fall off [a Segway], wouldn't you Mr President" Falls Off Segway and Breaks Three Ribs. Earl Hickey Recommends He Start Making a List.

Small Pipe Bomb Explodes Outside Christopher Moltisanti's Building. Tony Soprano Claims It Was an Accident.

Cop Shooter Charged With Murder After Infection Kills Victim. 41 Years Later.

If You Liked Hurricane Dean, You'll Like Felix, Too

8 Brazilian People Die in Train Crash. George Bush Urges the World to Repopulate.

The Virgin Mary Has Become a Shapeless Blob on a Garage Door. John 11:35

Pastor Has Sex With Teenage Daughters For a Decade or So, Claims He Was Just Doing God's Work

Public School Valedictorian Urges Audience to Accept Jesus Christ and Is Shocked That People Found It Inappropriate

I'll See Your Foot Tapping in a Stall and Raise You a Mounting of a Manta Ray

Bigfoot May Gain Endangered Species Protection in Canada. Next Up: Unicorns.

Flatulent Child Porn Suspect Seeks Medical Relief To Spare Cellmate From Gas Chamber

Homely Student Challenges Dress Code That Bans Shirts With Religious or Other Messages

August DemiBlog Links

These were the August Demiblog links:

Senator Larry Gay To Resign Tomorrow.

Olympic Park Bomber Richard Jewell Dies. Correction. Security Guard Who Found Bomb And Didn't Actually Plant It Is Dead.

Pastor Tells Mourners That Eddie Griffin Is: "Out of His Misery."

Lest You Believe He's Dead, Fidel Castro Offers His Current Views on American Politics

Man Charged for Using Cafe's Free Wi-Fi Without Buying Stuff First

Some People Take Travel Photos of Glaciers and Deer and Beaches. Other People Snap Shots of Crumbling Shanties Where Hurricane Katrina Killed People

Batshiat Crazy Ex-Astronaut Pleads Batshiat Crazy

Teen Unlocked iPhone and Trades It For a New Nissan 350Z

It's Good to be the King. To be Owen Wilson, Not So Much.

Hang Down Your Head John Couey

Oklahoma Football Recruit Murdered in Houston

Effort to Recall L.A. Sheriff Over Paris Hilton Release Gathers Just 40 Signatures

Ron Mexico Is Now Officially a Con Vick.

Nicole Richie Serves 82 Minutes in Jail; Judge Not Likely To Order Her Back Since She Wasn't an Obnoxious Bitch at her Sentencing Hearing

How Distracted Must You Be To not Notice That Your Leg Got Chopped Off? Ask This Guy.

New Beckman High Baseball Coach Lavalle Is Going to be a Legend. Read it Now and Believe it Later

See The Photos of the Grizzley from the 'Grizzly Attack' Episode of Man v. Wild (Hint: Look for the Zipper)

Rather Than Pay Expensive Medical Bills, Man Kisses Sick Wife and Chucks Her Over the Balcony

'Fire In The Hole' YouTubers Arrested. Will Soon Have a Burning Sensation in Their Holes

California Baptist Pastor Calls on Flock to Pray For Secularists to Die

Jose Offerman Finds a New Criminal Way to Hit Opposing Pitcher

Woman Arrested for Yelling Witch Chants

Alaska Volcano Is About to Go All Mount St. Helens

Tsunami Warning! (But California Is Okay).

Eight Year Old Overdoses on Heroin

Amazingly, This Beast Earns a Living in Prostitution

Nifong Complains About State Bar's Handling of Ethics Case

NYT Bias Graphically Illustrated

Indonesian Islamic Group Hizb ut-Tahrir Calls for a Global Muslim State

New Orleans Mayor Says Murders Keep "The New Orleans Brand" In The News, So They Aren't Entirely Bad.

PSA: That Wiggling Beheaded Snake Can Still Mess You Up

Apparently, Ballot Measures Against Alcohol Sales Are All The Rage Today. What Would Jesus Do?

Bridge Collapse Kills 22 in China. Democrats Quickly Blame George Bush.

I Once Caught a Fish This Big.

Hurricane Flossie to Brush Hawaii

World's Oldest Person Dies in Japan at 114 After Holding The Distinction For Just Six Months.

Old and Busted: Fidel Castro. New Hotness: Raul Castro.

Is Virtual Cheating Cheating?

This Is Why I Hate Ferris Wheels

Old News, But Good News: Attorney Accidentally Sues Himself

Old News, But Good News: Wal-Mart Lets Thieves Keep Their Take if Under $25

We Have a New All-Time Home Run Record: 757

Hank Aaron Slept Through Bonds Home Run #756

Actual Headline: "Man Married, Sentenced on Same Day." Yeah, Weren't We All, Dude?

Minnesota Bridge Hero Declines Offer to Meet President Bush.

Investment Opportunity? Check Out The Company Developing a Penis-Enlarging Condom

Got Milk? Then You Are As Wicked As Michael Vick.

Seattle Zoo Criticized for Using African Guides, Because It Would Lead to People Associating Africans With Beasts

Bonds Passes Aaron as Baseball's Home Run King

RIP Tourettes Guy

CBS SportsLine Rips Selig for Not Adoring Bonds

Court Enforces Ebay Sales

RIP LonelyGirl15

Barry Bonds Is Second Man to Hit 755 HRs.

A-Rod Share Headlines With Bonds by Becoming Youngest Player to Hit 500 HRs. And Without Using the Cream and the Clear.

Another, Yawn, FBI Search of Another, Yawn, Corrupt Politician's House

Britney Spears Looks Nasty in a Thong

Jury Sides With Doctors In Charlie Weis's Malpractice Suit

Charlie Weis Sues Bacon Double Cheeseburgers For Being So Delicious

Texas Declares Oklahoma to be God

79-Year-Old Crashes Through Fullerton Farmer's Market, Hits No One.

"Although masturbation, a common jailhouse occurrence, violates most jail and prison rules, it doesn't often result in criminal charges." But Sometimes....

Suicide-by-Decapitation Found by Construction Worker

What Do You Call a Man With No Arms And an Insatiable Desire To Drive? The Defendant

Soon To Be Ex-Reporter Realizes That, In Retrospect, Maybe It Would Still Be Better To Host Dog Fights Than To Rape a Woman

Decision: You Build a Bridge With a Single 458 Foot Steel Arch. Good: There Are No Piers in the Water to Impede Navigation. Bad: When Some Of It Falls Into The Mississippi River, It All Goes At Once.

Video Catches Woman Faking Supermarket Slip and Fall

July Demiblog Links

These were the July Demiblog links:

Slow News Day in North West Wales: Woman Celebrates Engagement by Falling 6 Feet and Suffering Minor Injuries

After 20 Mediocre Seasons, the Celtics Are Back.

Pedophile Who Posts Photos of Little Girls on the Internet Cries Over Police Posting His Picture Online

After Latest Disclosure Fans To Wonder if Bear Grylls's Real Name Is "Buddy in a Bear Suit Grylls?"

Embarrassed Grampa Hilton Disinherits Paris Hilton to the Tune of $60 Million

RIP Bill Walsh

Remember The World Of Sid & Marty Krofft?

"Never carry more marijuana than you can eat. If the police turn on the red and blues, just eat it."

News Helicopters' Crash Stuns Phoenix

At Least At USC, We Don't Let The Criminals Coach

Video Proves That If a New Jersey Cop Asks You For Help, You Should Just Say No

Shark Shows No Professional Courtesy to Snorkeling Lawyer

Nifong Apologizes for Wasting Everyone's Time on Baseless Rape Charges

R.H. Donnelley Pays $345 Million for Business.com

On Her Lawyer's Advice, Lindsay Lohan Turns Her Life Around "360 Degrees"

The Harry Potter Sorting Hat House Quiz

The Sound that Repels Teens

Gatorade Names Players of the Year (Track & Field POY is USC Incoming Freshman Bryshon Nellum)

Weekly World News Abducted By Aliens, Will Stop Publishing Weekly Rag

Like Deja Vu All Over Again, Lindsay Lohan Busted for DUI and Possession of Cocaine

Two Buck Chuck Beats 350 Other Chardonnays For Gold Medal

Artistic Visions of Hetch Hetchy Valley Before It Became SF's Drinking Water Reservoir

Alcohol-Flavored Lip Balm Marketed to Teens, Because Teens Drink Tequila for the Flavor.

Christian Music Festival Reveler Meets Her Maker When Ride Malfunctions

Phillies Lose 10,000th Game

Today is the Day to Moon the Amtrak

Double-Goring

This Photo From Pamplona Will Make Your Leg Hurt

Even Almighty Blasphemes Allah and His Prophet Noah

One-Fourth of People With PDAs and Cell Phones Haven't Memorized Their Home Phone Numbers

After Terrified Kids Come to School Exhausted From Their Ghost-Filled Dreams, School Considers Moving Out of The Graveyard

Meet The Florida Legislator Who Police Say Will Pay $20 If You Let Him Blow You.

At Least They Spelled NASA Right

Check Out the Mugshot of This Accused Force Hucker

Judge to Defendant: "F*ck Me? F*ck You!"

The Geek Squad Will Steal Your Porn

Turns Out, Jim Morrison Died on the Crapper Just Like Elvis, Fat and Overdosing.

Oklahoma Forfeits 2005 Victories

Another Dude Takes Balloons and a Lawn Chair Two Miles Straight Up

At LAst, Enough Calamari to Feed Rosie O'Donnell

Pope: Your Church is Defective.

An Inconvenient Blanket of White. Buenos Aires Gets First Snow Since 1918.

Actual Scientist's Name: Reinhardt Adolfo Fuck

Former Classmate Sues Porn Actress For Using Her Name as a Stage Name

Crazy Woman Stabs Parents After Scientology Forbids Them From Getting Her Psychiatric Help

An Inconvenient DUI Arrest

This Dog Can Kick Your Ass

Murder Rate Skyrockets in Nation's Safest City After Quarreling Couple Move In From New York

Global Warming is Melting Icecaps on Mars. U.S., China Deny Blame.

Iran TV Says U.K. Staged the Glasgow Airport Attack to Discredit Muslims

Ten-Year-Old Nepali "Living Goddess" Fired For Visiting U.S.; Her $17 Per Month Pension Might Be At Risk

Mom Sues State For Executing Her Son So Slowly

Hispanic Kid Who Got Beaten and Umbrella Pole-Raped Last Year Jumps to Death From Carnival Ecstacy

James Gandolfini Shot By Closure-Seeking Fan (Onion Exclusive)

Deadly Blast Strikes Tourist Site in Yemen. In Related News, There Are Tourists Who Go To Yemen.

Kinda Sorta Pipe Bomb Explodes in Disney World Trash Bin

Lakers Solve All Problems By Signing Luke Walton to Six-Year $30 million Deal

Dallas Teens Dropping Dead After Doing Cheese

Secret Document Shows U.S. Officials Fear "Terror Spectacular" Planned for Summer

Federal Judge to Philly Cop: Take That Hijab Off And Get Back in Uniform

The Ric Romero Cliché

I like to read Fark.com, but some of its clichés go right over my head, since I am not a "from day one" reader. One of the most popular cliches is to find a news story in which some captain obvious reporter "scoops" something that everyone else on the planet has known for a long, long time, and then attribute the story to Ric Romero.

I was doing a google search about blogging last night, and stumbled upon this Ric Romero story from October 2006 about this "new thing" on the Internet called "blogging."

Oh. I get it now.

Half a Million

I got my 500,000th hit this morning at 11:19 a.m. It was someone doing a google search for "digital rear view mirror." They were undoubtedly disappointed to find absolutely nothing here about digital rear view mirrors. Sorry.

June Demiblog Links

Here are the June Demiblog links:

Can You Spot the Pedophile?

Another Faces of Meth Thing. This One Features a Samantha Brown Look-a-Like

Old and Busted: Crop Circles. New Hotness: This Crap.

Roswell Aliens Theory Revived by Deathbed Confession

Hamas TV Kills Off Fake Mickey Mouse. M-I-C, See You In Hell.

Couple Refuses to Pay Taxes, Threatens War on any Law Enforcement Who Dare to Attack Them in the Name of Freemasonry

How To Catch a Dumb Predator: Take Out Help Wanted Ad Reading: "Paedophile Wanted to Fun Child Abuse Website." Arrest Applicants.

Blue-Haired Busybody Banned From Bus For Begging Big Familied Moms to Buy Birth Control

Having No More Serious Concerns on His Plate, Philadelphia Mayor Camps Out For iPhone

"I Killed a Guy. What're You In Here For?" "Uh, I Didn't Plant Sod in My Front Yard."

According to Pedophile Etiquette, You Shouldn't Publicly Expose a Pedophile, Because That Makes You "Judge, Jury and Executioner" If He Shoots Himself.

What Do You Get When You Cross and Zebra and a Hornless Unicorn?

Wikipedia Posting on Benoit Announced Wife's Death 14 hours Before Her Body Was Found

Thank God For Parents and Siblings. Month-Long Coma Victim Awakens To Find Out The Wife He Thought Was Cheating on Him Also Tried to Get His Life Support Removed.

Sheriff Busts Illegal Aliens by Driving Up to Construction Sites and Seeing Who Runs Away in a Panic.

Prison Spends $50,000 on Experts to Determine Whether Convicted Wife-Strangler Should Be Allowed to Have His Wiener Removed at a Cost of $20,000 to the Penal System.

Suppose You're Both Felons But You Sleep With a Gun Under the Pillow. Suppose Further That In The Middle of the Night, You Hear a Noise and Accidentally Shoot Your Husband in the Head. Here's Where The Story Gets Weird.

Oh, Yeah, Dudes Looked Like a Lady (Tampa Prostitution Mugshot Goodness)

Apparently, Skateboarding IS a Crime. The Punishment: A Chokedown.

Before Snuffing Him, Benoit Tried To Use HGH to Turn His Dwarf Boy Into Andre the Giant

Nancy Grace: Two Months Married, Four Months Pregnant. Fortunately, She's Too Old to Be a Bad Influence on Sex-Crazed Teenagers

Hang Down Your Head Chemical Ali

Denver City Attorney Caught Stealing Employer's Laptop to Download Porn; Commits Suicide. L.A. City Attorney Refuses To Say Whether He Will Follow Suit.

Church Says Requiring Hospitals to Offer Contraception to Rape Victims Violates Religious Freedoms

Warehouse Fire Claims Two Tons of Weed. Firemen Reportedly Inhale Too Much to Pass Next Drug Test

ESPN's Ten Freshmen to Watch in 2007 (USC Has #6, #9)

Four More Years! Four More Years! J.S. Giguere Stays a Duck.

UC-Irvine Knocks Cal State Fullerton Out of CWS in Longest Game Ever

Defending CWS Champs Beat Cal State Fullerton 3-2

The Police: Under Arrest

College World Series Update: Eaters Go Down Again Beavers.

Stonehenge Is The Place to be Today

UCRiverside Graduation Bomb Threat Motive Revealed: Suspect's Parents Didn't Know He Dropped Out, and He Didn't Want to be a Disappointment to Them. Mission not Quite Accomplished.

Memphis Church Members See "Jesus" in Trunk of Tree. It's a Leap of Faith.

Kids Squealing in Their Own Backyard Is Not a Crime

PSA: If Two 14-Year-Old Girls Are Making Out on Your Bus, You Can't Just Kick Them Off

Teen Shoots 2 Cops, Goes To MySpace Page and Posts Final Comment Before Killing Self

Most Mortal Men Would Stop Masturbating After Two Stab Wounds, But Not This Guy

Deadbeat Dad Seeks to Profit From Son's 9/11 Death

Queen Elizabeth 2 To Anchor Permanently in Dubai for $100 Million

Court Forbids Sale of $6.60 Baggies of "World Cup Air"

PSA: Don't Bone Your Dog. If You Do, Don't Take Pictures. If You Do, Don't Develop Them at Wal-Mart.

Grandma Is Branded a Terrorist Because She Had a Butterknife

One in Ten Serial Killers Comes From Los Angeles

Majority of Republicans Doubt Theory of Evolution

Paul Potts Wins 'Britain's Got Talent' Final

Nifong Recommends His Own Disbarrment

Breaking down the College World Series field

On Second Thought, Maybe It Isn't Animal Cruelty To Stare at a Police Dog

For Just $2,150,000, You Can Bid on JFK's Inaugural Dress Shirt

Paris Hilton's 23/45 Days Would Be More Than 80% of Other Inmates. In Related News, One Out of Five Inmates Serve Longer Sentences.

Iran Votes to Make Porn a Capital Offense

15,000 Duck Fans Celebrate Lord Stanley's Cup Staying in the OC

Old Judge Bork Is Suddenly Not Such a Tort Reformer Anymore.

20 Acronyms Teens Use to Hook Up Online With Creepy Old Dudes

Wife Who Killed Pastor Husband May Serve 60 Days. Paris Hilton Sobs Too Uncontrollably To Comment.

LA Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa Might Be Tony Villa Again

Mean Judge Makes Paris Hilton Cry

Teenager Overdoses on BenGay

Rob Lowe Gets a Birdie

Man in Wheelchair Gets Stuck in Truck Grill at 50 mph for Four Miles

Jeffrey Lemerond, You Pussy!

Cell Phone Retrieval Lesson #1: It Sure Ain't Worth Drowning For.

Cell Phone Retrieval Lesson #2: It Sure Ain't Worth Drowning in Shit For.

Paris Goes Home Due to Undisclosed Medical Condition. Perhaps Sarah Silverman Predicted Correctly.

PSA: If You Lose Your Memory Stick With Your Child Porn Stash, Just Let It Go.

PSA: Home Depot Makes Its Employees Permit You To Steal. Who's Up For a Free Power Tool Run?

Psychiatrist Rushes To Treat Paris Hilton, Who Has Been Traumatized by the Coldness of Her Jail Cell.

Armored-Truck Driver Learns: Fool Me Once, Shame on ... Shame on You. Fool Me. Can't Get Fooled Again. (Oh, and Jail.)

Alcohol Powder. Mmmm. Alcohol Powder.

Scooter Libby To Get 2 1/2 Years in Pound-Me-InThe-Ass Prison, But It's Ok. With a Tough-Guy Name Like "Scooter", He Should Do Just Fine.

Old and Busted: Anne Frank. New Hotness: Rutka Laskier

CSUF Advances to SuperRegionals

Bad News: Himalayan Glaciers Could be Gone in 50 Years. Good News: Any Idiot Might Be Able to Climb Those Peaks.

If You Thought The Sopranos Might End With a Whimper, You Were As Dead Wrong As [Spoiler Omitted.]

Alex Rodriguez's Words: "Ha!" Alex Rodriguez's Actions: "Money Can't Buy You Class."

Another Spammer in the Slammer

LeBron Scores Cleveland's Final 25 Points to Win at Detroit in Double Overtime

Why It Is Better To Be a Supreme Court Justice's Kid Than a Brainless Hotel Chain Heiress

Keep a Close Eye on Your Terminally Ill Emos. Dr. Kevorkian Emerges From Prison Today

Harry Potter Park to Open in Orlando

Old and Busted: Loch Ness Monster Hoax Confessions. New Hotness: Fresh Loch Ness Monster Hoaxes.

Why Would a Personal Injury Lawyer With TB Risk Exposing Others To His Illness Just So He Could Get Married Immediately? This Article and Photo Offer Some Explanation.

May Demiblog Links

I forgot to post the May demiblog links. Here they are:

Nudist Slams Testicles In Car Door.

We Watched Them Cart One Off Today: Domoic Acid Sickens More Sea Lions In North County

China Hands Down Death Penalty for Political Corruption. 535 Out of 535 Members of Congress Disagree With Verdict.

Gay Bar Discriminates Against Heterosexuals

Surrogate Mom Won't Give Up Baby, Demands Child Support

The Most Depressing Website I've Ever Seen

This Just In: People Who Are Falling-Down-Drunk Make Bad Decisions

Alligator Captured in Los Angeles

Florida Tries to Wipe Out Cat-Sized African Rats. In Related News, the Rats in Florida Are as Big as Cats.

Among Foreign-Born Arab Muslims Living in the U.S., 12% Agree That Suicide Bombs on Civilian Targets Can be Justified.

PSA: "Ginger Beer" = Queer

PSA: Distributing Anti-Gay Fliers = Jail Without Bond in the Town That Pretends There Is No First Amendment

Executed Killer's Last Words: "GO RAIDERS!"

Carson, Carson, Carson. WTF Were You Thinking?

It's Time to Pray for the Soul of that Boy Who Won Court Battle to Fight Leukemia With Ineffective Holistic Medicine

C'mon, Everyone Deserves a 39th Chance. Principal Finally Loses Job After Failing Certification Test 38 Times.

This Is What You Get in Iran for Drinking a Beer. Ok, Two Beers.

Hong Kong Might Add The Bible to List of Indecent/Obscene Publications

Ambush Hits My Friend's Group in Afghanistan

Man Celebrates Son's Second Birthday By Getting Drunk and Leaving Him in the Car

Being Able to Defend Yourself Against Jailhouse Bitches is Hot!

Amy Fisher and Joey Butt-Whatever-His-Name to Hook Up Again For a Reality Show

The Interwebs Have a New Laughing Stock

Police Officer Shot to Death. Bystander Uses Dead Cop's Gun to Kill Suspect.

Homeless Dude Set to Graduate College

Arnold Too Busy to Consider Paris Hilton's Plight

Old and Busted: NFL Player Drives Drunk, Gets DUI. New Hotness: NFL Player Does Not Drive Drunk, but Still Gets Arrested for DUI.

Mother Fights Hospital Over Right to Eat Her Used Placenta

Hamas To Continue To Use Mickey Mouse Ripoff To Further Jihad

PSA: If You Think You Look Fat on the College Fishwrap, Stealing Every Copy Will NOT Help You Avoid Attention.

Ain't That Just Like a Bruin: Autographed Matt Leinart Jersey at a Bruin's Fundraising Silent Auction

Rickey Catches Foul Ball. "Sorry, Kids, Rickey Always Wanted to Catch a Foul Ball."

Sperm Donor Must Lesbians Child Support

Paris's Pardon Plea Laughed Out of Governor's Office

Pot Calls Kettle The N-Word

All TV In Iran to Feature Prayer

PSA: Falsely Crying Rape Can Make You Turn into a Hideous Beast (With Pictorial Proof)

Teacher Steals Student's Coat to Sell on eBay

Check Out This List of Bad Stuff That Happened on Cruise Ships

Pope Isn't Excommunicating Mexicans Legislators Who Vote For Abortion Rights. They Are Excommunicating Themselves.

Burning a U.S. Flag is Free Speech. Burning a Mexican Flag is a Crime.

NASA Spots Star That Exploded 240 Million Years Ago

School: Take a Tylenol, Go To Drug & Alcohol Counseling

Obama Declares 10,000 Dead in Kansas Tornado. 9,988 Survivors Ask "WTF?"

Pete Carroll Looking to Book Home-and-Home With Boston College

That Crackling Sound in Your Ear Could Be Spiders.

Chimp Sues To Be Recognized as Human

Queen Elizabeth II to Attend Kentucky Derby, Search For New Mistress for Her Son

Sting Succeeds After Portland Man Finds His Stolen Bike on Craigslist

After a Long Honeymoon, Shotgun Wedding Goat Bride Dies

What Did You Do On Your Disney Vacation? This New Hampshire Catches Ugly Old Sex Predator in the Bushes

And You Thought Paula Abdul Was a Bitch When the Cameras Were Rolling?

Watching Babel Can Make You Sick, But Only If You Are Japanese

"Ask a Mexican!" Goes From OC Local News to National Fame

Racist NBA Officials Call More Fouls on Black Players. Fact That White Player Cower Along The Perimeter, Where Fewer Fouls Are Committed, Deemed a Non-Factor

Warning: If You Paddle Your Canoe Out to Rescue a Bridge Jumper, Bring Your Life Jacket, or Bring Your Checkbook

Of All The Things You Don't Want to Leave Strewn About The House You Are Trying to Sell, Your Own Rotting Corpse Has To Be One of the Most Important

Say, Has Anyone Checked To See If There Were Any Jews on the Oakland Freeways on 4/29?

The U.N. Can't Stop Iran's President Ahmadinejad, But a Little Kiss on the Hand Might.

You Know It's a Slow News Day In Our Nation's Capitol When The Headline Reads: "Duck In Danger"

Is Your Couch Racist? Hers Is.

Los Angeles Times Sportswriter Mike Penner To Have His Boy Parts Removed. Call Him Christine.

Did the Early Onset of Daily Savings Time Increase Global Warming?

Racist College Admissions People Prefer Foreign Born Blacks to American Born Blacks 2-1

Lose a Suit Pants, Sue For $65 Million. No Big Deal. But Once You Become a Judge, People Get All "Is This Judge The Kook Who Sued His Dry Cleaner For $65 Million?"

What Simple Fools We Are To Continue to Laugh at 9/11 Conspiracy Theorists, Just Because a Truck Melted a Freeway Overpass

Kickoff Times And TV Plans Announced For 8 USC Football Games In 2007

The Weather Nerd Sequel

Congratulations to the USC degree holding, Notre Dame law degree holding, documentary featured, studying for the bar exam, dying to read Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, blogging, self-described weather nerd from Tennessee, Brendan Loy, whose new bride Becky is 13 weeks pregnant.

Congratulations to Brendan Loy

Brendan Loy, the blogger known as the Irish Trojan, has graduated with a law degree from Notre Dame. He is now, among other things, a juris doctor. Congratulations, Brendan! Now go study for that bar exam and don't worry about how Harry Potter dies in book seven.

The April Demiblog

Here were the Demi-Blog links for April:

Supreme Court Says If You Run From The Cops, You Can't Sue Them For Making You Crash

Employer With Sword Reduces Head Count When Worker Fails to Milk Cow

"A young lady of Seville would not think of attending the bullfights at the Maestranza ring without" Nosferatu?

In Southern England, a 4.3 Earthquake Is News

Postcards Show the Year 2000 (circa 1900)

Lose Your Cell Phone, Go Directly to Bankruptcy Court?

Anderson Cooper Showers With His Underpants On. He Knows What You Horndogs Are Thinking, Because He Thinks The Same Thing.

Driving Racecars: No Longer Just For Guys and Ugly Chicks

Remove His Man Boobs

Fight On! How USC Students Respond To Gunmen.

Hawking Floats Out of His Wheelchair. I Dare You To Read This Without Smiling.

Proof That Stephen King Would Be In Prison Right Now If He Was Still a Student

Did You Attend Iraq's Spring Tourism Fair? Some People Did.

The Next Great Issue For Liberalism: Robot Rights

Cat Expert Never Learned How To Swerve to Avoid Cats in Road Without Crashing His Motorcycle

Bad Ways To Go, No. 78: Being Sat-On by a Camel to Death

For Some Girls, Murdering Their Friend Just "Feels Right"

Atheists Speak Out Against VT Deists Bitching About Atheists

Arkansas QB Mustain Transferring to USC

Coming Soon to a Virginia Tech Funeral Near You: The God Hates Fags People. Because Not Killing Gay People Is Why God Is Punishing Us With Cho.

Catholic Church on Dead Babies in Limbo" "Oops. Our Bad."

Bogus: 'The Black Donnellys' Is Off The Air

So Much For Professor Faulken's Prediction About The Bees Taking Over

When You're Hungry For Some Young Dong, Check This Out

Lawsuit Seeks To Vindicate "Be Happy, Not Gay" Shirt Wearer

Insider Tips on Consumer Scammers

I have a new favorite blog: The Consumerist. Check out this post on rental car bullshit: 9 Confessions From A Former Enterprise Rental Salesman. Good stuff.

Thine March DemiBlog

Here were the Demi-Blog links for March:

Prayer Found to Be Of No Help To heart Patients

Man Who Made Documentart About How Meth Was Killing Him Is Now Dead.

Lesbian Accuses Stranger of Rape to Wn Back Lover. The Story Doesn't Explain How This Helped, But The Dude Was Innocent.

UNC Mascot Dies. Stanford Tree Still Lives.

And You Thought Your Sister Was a Bitch: Check Out Miss Pretty

PSA: If You Are Going To Kill Yourself By Driving Your Truck Into a Lake, Remember to Keep The Window Rolled Up, or You Might Escape.

Kobe Hits 50+ For Four Straight Games. Wilt's Ghost Reminds Us That He Averaged 50 For a Whole Season

Man Calls 911, Confesses to Shooting His Wife, Flirts With Dispatcher

Animal "Rights" Group Demands That Polar Bear Be Killed to Save It From The Indignity of Life in Captivity. Polar Bear Cub Has No Official Comment.

Home Invader Who Got Pounded and Hog-Tied Turns Out to be a Teen Girl

Prison Guard Busted For Sex with Inmate. Lasted 30-60 Seconds, Because Nothing Is More Exciting Than a Prisoner, Right?

Homeowner's Association Bans Guns. Good Luck Enforcing That One.

Hang Down Your Head John Couey

Anna Nicole Smith Judge Smokes Pot in Public Parks. It's Good To Be The Judge.

Extra 200 Pounds of Fat Ass Saves Cruise Ship Jumper

Number 1,000,000 on the List of Top 999,999 Ways to Get Bumped to First Class: Die.

Why Is Mexico So Poor? Because Half Their Money Was In This One Guy's House (With Photo of All The Money)

USC Pwns Texas. Sadly, This Headline Comes One Year, Two Months and 14 Days Too Late.

Dirty Dave Defeats Goliath

Off-Duty NWA Worker Charged With Assault With a Gooey Bodily Secretion During Flight

Ants Cut Images of Jesus and Mary

Delp Suicide Note Revealed. Further Evidence That From Great Pain Comes Great Art.

USC Continues to Pwn Arkansas

Fire Coach K!

As It Turns Out, "Unicorn Defense" Is a Term of Art

First Team Out of March Madness: Bobby Knight's Red Raiders

Drexel Proves NCAA Stub Legit By Losing First Round NIT Game

Top New Excuse of 2007: A Unicorn Was Driving, Officer.

The Goods News: You Been Cleared of Murder Charges. The Bad News: You Now Owe The State For Room and Board During Your Prison Stay

At Age 171, Arkansas Finally Learns How To Use Proper Grammar.

Criminal Mastermind Googled 'How to Commit Murder' Right Before Her Husband Was Found Murdered

We've Reached The Point Where Every Random Bit of Junk Baked Into a Pan Has Turned Into Jesus

Fetal Scan Shows Face of Jesus, But Only If You Think Jesus Is a One-Eyed Freak With a Fivehead

Even Tne Special Ed Kids Are Getting It On With Hot Teachers Now

Man Goes To Prison for 45 Years For Trying To Kill Wife. He Could Have Just Waited Two Years and Let Her Die on Her Own

Germany to Strip Hitler of Citizenship

Why Smart People Are Not Happy

Swimmer's Shrinking and Expanding Nuts Create Problems

This Is What Happens When You Piss Off a Chinese Developer

Liberty High School To Learn The High Cost of Denying Liberty to Its Students.

All The College Entrance Personal Essays Plagiarize From the Same Source. Who Would Notice, Right?

Heirs To The French Throne Surrendered, Moved To India

So The Judge Said To The Defendant, "Like, Bag Your Face, I'm Sure."

Couey guilty of murdering 9-year-old Jessica Lunsford - CNN.com

A Critical Reading of "Rocky Top." That's a Seriously Whacked School Song.

In God We Trust Goes Missing on Dollar Coins

Woman Sees Jesus In Burned Wallpaper. Haters of the Great Satan See Image of Bin Laden Instead.

Woman Sues Doctor After Abortion Fails and Baby Is Born. Just Imagine The Psychiatric Bills Alone Once The Kid Finds Out Everything....

Florida: Home of the World's Ugliest Alleged Prostitutes

O.J. Hopes He's Not the Father of Anna Nicole's Baby, or Else Ron Goldman Will Try to Seize the Kid

Old Dude Falls Out of 5th Floor Window, Is Saved by Nail

PC Crowd Says "Stone Age", Savage and Primitive Are Now Offensive Terms

PSA: If You Are Prone to Fainting After Smelling Rotten Fish, Being a Fishermen Might Be a Dangerous Profession For You

The Future of Discount Airfare: No Freebies. Not Even Checked Luggage.

More Evidence Shows That Pilot Meant To Crash into Former In-Laws' House With Daughter

France Banning Citizen Feporting/Recording Acts of Violence, Them Getting Clubbed by the Police, e.g.

Toyota Dealer Won't Sell You A Car If You're "In A Bad Mood"

PSA: Perjury Convictions Are Way Worse Than Traffic Ticket Convictions

PSA: Forging the Judge's Signature on a Bogus Order Is Bad.

PSA: Curse at a Judge, Go to Jail (For 33 Months)

Superstition: 1, Hungry Indians: 0. American Enters Forbidden Sanctuary in India, Forcing the Faithful to Throw Out $5,000 Worth of Food Contaminated by His Presence.

The Asexual Revolution

Scooter Libby Found Guilty.

School Suspends Students For Saying "Vagina"

RIP Ken Hoover

Terrorists Vow to Kidnap or Kill Prince Harry in Iraq

Having No Better Points To Make, Ann Coulter Calls John Edwards a Faggot (As If She's Not One Herself)

Daily White Trash Update: Britney Yelled That She Was The Anti-Christ Before Unsuccessful Trying to Hang Herself

California Teens Arrested for Enforcing Political Sign Law

Daniel Radcliffe Gets Nekked on Stage, Turns Back To Audience and Tugs On It a Little To Make It Look Bigger

SF Policy Changing After Proclamation Issues to Honor Gay Porn Studio

Layoffs Hit Megachurch Ater Preacher Gay Prostitute Sex and Drug Scandal Drops Revenues 10%. In Related News, The Church's Revenues Are Still at 90% of Pre-Scandal Levels.

Tinfoil Hat Alert: Former Canadien Defense Minister Paul Hellyer Demands That World Governments Release UFO Alien Technology To Save Us From Global Warming.

Extremely Fat Woman Sees Doctor For Abdominal Pain Then Gives Birth Unexpectedly

Barbie Bank Bandits Caught, Discovered To Be Not That Good-Looking After All

2002: Walnut Creek Changes the Town Easter Bunny to a "Spring Bunny." 2007: "THEY WHAT?!?!"

Post Office Service Is So Slow, Everyone Complains. Solution: Take Out The Clocks. Now Only People With Watches and Cell Phones Will Complain.

Alabama High School Struck by Killer Tornado

Ohio Lawmakers Consider Passing Law To Force Sex Offenders To Steal Your License Plate

Meth-Dealing School Principal Was Naked, Watching Gay Porn When Arrested

Survey Finds That Legal Prostitutes Love Their Jobs. Streetwalkers Still Hating It.

Sting Nets $45 Million in Drugs. Andy and Stewart Just Stand There With Envy in Their Hearts.

NYC Bans All Races From Saying "Nigger."

Old and Busted: Getting Arrested For Joking About Bombs in an Airport. New Hotness: Getting Arrested For Dropping an F-Bomb in an Airport

Inspector Who Failed To Notice a Bazillion Rats at KFC Has Lost Her Cushy Job of Not Inspecting Restaurants

City Manager Getting Fired For Going From a Steve to an Eve

BREAKING NEWS: Anna Nicole Smith to Get Grave in the Bahamas - CNN.com

Finding No Good Food There For His Horse, Prince Charles Suggests Banning McDonald's Restaurants

Lute Olson Denies Having Parkinson's Disease

Clipperness Strikes Livingston. Knee Injury So Gruesome, Joe Theismann Would Cringe.

Old and Busted: "Hey, Ref, Get Some New Glasses." New Hotness: "Hey, Ref, Get Bakc in the Kitchen. Oh, and Fetch Me Some Bacon and Eggs."

Documentary Tries to Prove Jesus Really Was Both The Son and a Father

While Al Gore Lectures You For Being an Average American Energy Hog, He's a Way-Above-Average American Energy Hog

MacGyver 2007: Teen Used Safety Pin To Escape Kidnapper

For Some Reason, Asian-American's Column Entitled "Why I Hate Blacks" Has Pissed Some People Off, and Embarrassed Others

February DemiBlog

Here were the Demi-Blog links for February:

So As Not To Compound a Customer's Sins, Hooter's To Sell Fish on Fridays in Lent

Ancient Coin Shows Cleopatra To Be Ugly

Blogger Sent to Prison for Insulting Islam

Brother and Sister Demand Abolition of Incest Laws

Asian paper's 'I Hate Blacks' column assailed

Welcome to Nara Dreamland, Japan's First Unofficial Copy of Disneyland

Mom Teaches Kids to Fake Retardation. Motive: To Collect Government Money. Why Spears Keeps Acting Retarded Remains a Mystery.

Expedia: You Make a Mistake, Too Bad For You. We Make a Mistake, Too Bad For You.

Authorities Relent and Let 218 Pound 8-Year-Old Boy Stay With His Family, Mix in a Few Salads.

PSA: Driving While Using a Laptop is Potentially Dangerous.

What Would Muhammad Do?

S.F.'s Castro District: Straights Are "Allowed" As Long As They Understand This Is a Gay Community Only.

Mexico Outlaws Jealousy

Rat-Infested KFC Passed Health Inspection The Day Before All Those Rats Showed Up.

Virtual Terrorists Hit Second Life

Make That TWO Dead Broncos

Idiot Ties Wedding Ring to Balloon and Is Shocked When It Floats Away

Having Trouble Finding Signs of God's Love in Your World? Try Looking for the Virgin Mary on a School Pizza Pan.

Former ACLU Chapter President Arrested for Child Pornography.

Only Three Out of Every Five Women in India Have Even Heard of AIDS

Suze Orman Emerges From The Closet. You Wouldn't Have Wanted To Hit That Anyway.

Indian Activists Want "Squaw" Out of the Vernacular. "It's Like Name a Resort 'Nigger Valley'."

To Park Legally or Illegally? For Some SF, Breaking the Law is Just Another Business Decision

Al Sharpton Wants DNA Test to Prove His Ancestors Were Owned By Strom Thurmond's Cousins

For First Time Since Big-O's College Days, Ohio State is No. 1

Next Time You Bitch About Gas Prices, Just Be Glad You Don't Live in Myanmar

CNN NEWS ALERT! Appeals Court Blocks Bahamas Burial for Anna Nicole!

Court Let's Stand 200-Year Sentence (No Parole) For First Time Kiddie Porn Possessor With 20 Images. Murderers Laugh and Prepare To Dahmerize Him in Prison.

Tustin Police Arrest Convicted Child Molester For Home Depot Murder. Chalk Up Another Success For Sex Crime DNA Databases

330 Foot Deep Stinking Sinkhole Swallows Father and Kids

LA Issues APB For Pair of "Odd-Looking" Men

Attorney Michael Eisner Defends Guru/Alleged Scam Artist Tilak Fernando.

Daily White Trash Update: Spears and the Umbrella. And The Innocent Car.

The 100 Best Books in English. Plus, the 100 Books With The Most Votes by Stupid Readers. (Guess Which of the Two Lists Features 3 L. Ron Hubbard Books in the Top 10)

Pregnant 14-Year-Old Girl: "It seems to be fashionable to get pregnant."says it's 'fashionable' as four friends are also expecting | News | This is London

The 10 Deadliest Roads in Southern California

Coliseum Might Get a Makeover For 2016 Olympic Bid

New Yorkers Spot First Beaver in 200 Years. No, It's Not Linday, Paris or Britney

Idiot Lawmaker (Who Has Never Had Kids) Abandons Her Attempt To Outlaw Parental Spanking

Nice Fur. Is It Dog?

Court Rules That Non-Strippers Have No Constitutional Free Speech Right To Express Themselves by Dancing

Apparently, Rats Dig Taco Bell. Customers Urged To Carefully Inspect Those Ground "Beef" Tacos Before Eat Bite.

Meet the Paster Thinks Gays Shouldn't Be Allowed To Marry, But Should Be Allowed To Blow Him in an Alley For $20

Daily White Trash Update: Britney Back in Rehab

Who Could Have Known That a Dog Accessory Store Called High Maintenance Bitch Would Upset People?

People Panic Over Flaming Ferry.

Top Story on CNN: Legal Battle over Anna Nicole Smith's Body To Continue.

RIP Dennis Johnson.

Disney To Double Its Number of Cruise Ships

Daily White Trash Update: K-Fed Goes To Court Ex Parte to Deal With Custody and The Psycho Mom. Britney Responds "Ex Parte? I Don't Want To Party With My Ex No More, Man."

PSA: Stuffing All Your Homemade Kiddie Porn into Your Septic Tank Is Only As Good As Your Septic Tank

Gunman Kills 2 Clowns During Colombian Circus Show.

Daily White Trash Update: Britney Checks Out of Rehab After Less Than a Day Again

Ralph Fiennes: I Got Your Snake on a Plane Right Here, Honey (With Bonus Pic of Stewardess in Question, Which Proves That Fiennes Must Have Been Drunk)

Farrakhan Finally Ready to Shut His Pie Hole

Mistrial Declared in Charlie Weis Fat Reduction Malpractice Trial After Juror Needs Emergency Care and The Alleged Quack Saves The Day

Mike Golic Jr. To Follow In Father's Footsteps and Attend Notre Dame. Promises Not to Follow In Uncle Bob Golic's Footsteps By Taking Bit Roles in Crappy Teen TV Shows

Man Falls 16 Story Fall and Lives To Tell About, If Not To Actually Remember It

Daily White Trash Update: She Shaved Her Head Because She Thought Lice Were Eating Her Hair. Pass the Peanut Butter and Tinfoil, Please.

Ice-Chucking Mom Gets Prison Sentence For Chucking Ice

Disney Loses Its Pooh in Court

Single Guy Wins Night in Cinderella's Castle Because He's a Reporter

Daily White Trash Update: Comedian Feels Bad and Decides Not To Tell Britney Spears Jokes For One Day

The Best Part About Losing Your Church In a Gay Hooker and Drug Scandal Is That You Still Draw Your $130K Salary, But No Longer Have To Work and Act All Hypocritical To Earn It

Man Accused of Car Exhaust Rape. It's Not What You Just Visualized, Assuming Your Sick Mind Visualized Something When You Read This

SF Project Held Up By Fairy Shrimp.

Daily White Trash Update: Britney Spears Checks Into Rehab

After Struggling in the Pre-Game Passing Drills, Kobe Leads All Scorers and Wins Second NBA All-Star MVP Award

Daily White Trash Update: The Junk That Fell To The Floor When Britney Shaved Her Head is on eBay for a Cool Million. Why Someone With a Million in Cash to Burn Would Choose White Trash Hair Remains Unclear.

It's Official. Those Crappy NCAA Rule Changes Are Gone For the 2007 Football Season

Daily White Trash Update: Britney Dons a Wig

If the Juniper Trees Don't Get Laid Soon, There Will Be No Gin to Drink

After 20 Years in Prison, Bank Robber Gets Out and Robs Bank. Cops ID Him Immediately Because He Was Wearing His Favorite Members Only Jacket During The Robbery.

Georgia Legislator Thinks the Sun Circles The Earth, Blames the Jews For Our Copernican Stupidity

Texas Legislator Thinks the Sun Circles The Earth, Says Kos

Nothing Says "I Didn't Need No Rehab" Quite Like a Spontaneous Head Shaving and a Few New Tats, Right Brit?

Woman Takes Pictures of Mice Running Across Supermarket Food Displays. Supermarket Responds: "It's Illegal To Take Photos In Here."

Remember When Jason Kidd Always Blew His Wife a Kiss During Free Throws? Apparently, She Was Watching at Home, Flipping Him Off.

To Get a Way Better Buzz on Someone Else's Dime, Donate Blood First, Then Get Drunk. Read Tips From The Experts Here.

Mrs. Federline Checks Into Rehab and Checks Out a Day Later, Cured.

Frog Stuck in Amber Could Be 25 Million Years Old.

Trojans Defeat Wildcats in Tucson For First Time in 22 Years

Gay NBA Player on Tim Hardaway: "See. Told Ya."

Tim Hardaway on Gay NBA Player: "Hate 'em."

Jury Selection Going Slow For Killer of Jessica Lunsford. Potential Jurors "Disgusted by the Sight of Him".

1. Remove Your Pants; then 2. Give Birth. Or, Do The Opposite, Like This One Chick Did.

Is It a Tragic Lab Accident, or a Cure for Cancer. It Might Be Both....

Welcome to Georgia, Where Videotaping a Cop Who Speeds Through Your Neighborhood Violates Anti-Stalking Laws

During a Mall Shooting, Do You Run, or Crouch Done and Take a Bit of Video. Lucky For Us, Not Everyone Chooses "Run"

Get Ready To Start Barfing Up Rum Instead of Tequila

The Worst Amateur Basketball Game Theft Since the 1972 Olympics

NCAA May Reverse Some of Those Horrible 2006 Football Rule Changes

Ancient Coin Depicts Ugly Chick Named Cleopatra

Random Mall Shooter was a Muslim.

Anna Nicole Smith Will Be Buried: a CNN Special News Update.

Vasectomy = Higher Dementia Risk. Nuts.

How To Profit From Telemarketing, a Phoneowner's Guide To Suing Their Asses.

Ice Storm Causes Postponement of Congressional Hearing on Global Warming

Chargers Fire Marty

PSA: If You Drop your Cell Phone on the Ice, And The Ice Is At The Top of Niagara Falls, Just Let It Go, Man

Man Finds Old Looking Drawing of Mickey Mouse and Declares Himself to Be the Owner of Disney's Copyrights, Sues Disney for $50 Million

Scientist "Proves" That God's Voice Created The Universe

No Auerbach Trophy For Doc Rivers This Year: Celtics Lose 18th Straight Game

Carson Palmer Named Pro Bowl MVP

Old and Busted: Tigger Caught With Dirty Pictures of Kids. New Hotness: Beast Caught Actually Doing Kids

Six Feet of Snow in Mexico?

2007's Point Scorers in the Derby Dead Pool

Beer Goggle Effect Explained Scientifically

Actual Headline: Psychic Museum Closes Due to Unforseen Circumstances

Old and Busted: Tigger Beating Your Kid Up. New Hotness: Goofy keeping Nekked Pictures of Your Kid's Friends

The 2007 Heisman Pundit List. Since I'm Linking To It, You can Guess Which Team's QB Is No. 1 on the List

The Report Is That Anna Nicole Smith Collapsed and Was Pronounced Dead. And By "Collapsed" They Meant, "Choked on Her Own Vomit in Bed"

Heading To Prison and Not Sure How to Avoid Awkward an Faux Paus? Ask Dr. Prison.

This Winter's Must-Have Accessory For a Mom Accused of Helping Her Boyfriend Rape Her Own Daughter: A T-Shirt That Says "#1 Mom"

Anna Nicole Smith Takes Her Marilyn Monroe Imitation To New Extremes

Refugee claimant who didn't prove he's gay denied asylum

Matchmaker For Super-Rich Guys Accused of Discriminating Against Ugly Chicks

Kid Spots Math Error in Four Year Old Science Display

School Bans Mother's Day Cards To Avoid Making Motherless Kids Feel Bad

San Antonio Woman Thinks Her Daughter Talks to Angels; Seeks Advice From Priest, Rather Than Psychiatrist

Arabs Planning $8 Billion Disneyland Park in Bahrain

Stewart Mandel: On The Eve of Signing Day, Florida, USC Are The Only Places To Be

USC Kicker Was Triple the Limit When He Fell To His Death

Yet Another Reason to Love Apple

Daniel Baldwin's Next Role: The Fugitive

Snowmobiler Begged To Have Dangerous Tree Stump Removed. Proves He Was Right By Getting Killed By The Thing.

Lawmaker Proposes Rule To Send Rich Kids To Prison, Too

Lawmaker Proposes To Invalidate Childless Marriage After Three Years

Astronaut Drives From Houston To Orlando in Diapers To Kidnap Love Rival.

Yes, Guv'na, There Is a UK Version of eBay

Q: When Will Pope Benedict Become a Mormon? A: When He Dies

Value of Super Bowl Tickets Drops From $3100 to $2000 in a Day. By Tomorrow, These Things Will be Practically Worthless

England Gets the Bird Flu

Main Page - Celebrity Atheist List

Ever Wonder What They Do With All Those "Super Bowl Champion" Hats and Shirts With The Losing Team's Name?

British Columbia Put on Alert for Huge Earthquake

The 10 Best Super Bowl Ads Ever

Federline Apologizes To Future Co-Workers

Ebay Bans Auctions of Virtual Stuff

Vatican Furious That Bogus Penitant Waives Priest-Penitant Privilege

Does Your Cold Medicine Suck? Blame The Meth Freaks.

PSA: If Your Girl Is Cheating On You, Don't Let Her Pack Your Parachute

PSA: Cook Your Cougar Meat Thoroughkly Before Consuming

Buddhist Ice Cream Man Wanders into Muslim Neighborhood and Gets What He Had Coming To Him

If You've Seen Snatch, You Know Better Than To Get Into a Car With a Pig Farmer, But Apparently, 50+ Canadian Hookers Didn't Know Any Better

Muslims Claim Hollywood Created Their Bad Public Image. Hollywood Thanks Real Muslim Bad Guys For Inspiring Writers To Come Up With Even Worse Characters

Reason #1 Not To Use Models To Show Guests Your 2,500 Year Old Artifacts

Woman Reports Rape. Cops Give Her Shoulder to Cry On and Jail Cell to Spend The Night In. She Did Have An Outstanding Warrant, After All.

Mummified Russian Man Found Dead in Sitting Position After 6 Years

Primitive Phallus Shark Photographed

Fumes and Fire in German Fag Debate (It's Not What You Yanks Might Think It Is)

Texas Governor Robs Parents of the Ability to Keep Their Girls Chaste by Keeping Them Vulnerable to Cancer

Did Dahmer Have One More Victim?

Maytag Repairman To Remain Lonely. Those 2.3 Million Busted Maytags Are Being Recalled

Angels Tote Bag Suit Dismissed (Reported 2 Hours After Lex Broke the Story)

I'm Already #1 on Google For fbxrd Seekers

NFL Decides That Churches Can't Watch the Super Bowl Ona TV Screen Bigger Than 55 Inches

January DemiBlog

Here were the Demi-Blog links for December:

121 Jobs That Don't Suck: #37 is Lawyer. (But I'm Not That Kind of Lawyer)

That Dude Who Guarded The Gorilla in Trading Places in Running for U.S. Senate

Having Never Had The Internal Lightbulb Go On, California Legislators Hope To Ban Conventional Lightbulbs

Scientists Cure Cancer, But Who Will Make Money Off It?

The Most Dangerous Roads in the World

World's Most Pussified Basketball Official Explains Why He Took a Dive

Win In Court Helps O.J. Win On Court

Old and Busted: I'm a Lesbian Trapped in the Body of a Man. New Hotness: I'm a 2-Legged Person Trapped in the Body of a Legless Person.

The Sign Says 65 m.p.h., But You Can Go 70. We Just Lack The Budget To Change the Signs. But 55 Is Still 55.

World's Worst Kidnappers Send Victim Into Bank By Herself To Get Money

Woman Has 93-Pound Cyst Removed. The Other 470 Pounds Remain on Her Fat Ass

Tijuana Police Issued Slingshots. So....Old and Busted: Bribing TJ Cops To Avoid Jail. New Hotness: Picking Up a Rock and Scaring the TJ Cop Into Running Away.

Back in Power, Democrats Resume The Primary Task of Fondling Pages

Youth Football Coach Prints Flyers on Clean Side of His Used Child Porn Images, Leading Clever Detectives to Discover His Crimes

Federline Fast Food Ad Infuriates Burger Flippers, Who Dislike Being Insulted Almost as Much as They Dislike Being Associated With Federline

Free Bikes in the UK. The Plan: Steal It Right In Front of the Cops, But Leave The Helmet.

The Dying Young Man and The Hooker: ""It was not emotionally fulfilling, but the lady was very pleasant and very understanding."

Anti-Muslim Backlash Hits New Low. Even the ACLU is Against Them

NJ To Make Cycling With Cell Phones Illegal. "Look, Ma! No Hands!" Still Permitted

What Kind of Mugu Falls For the Nigerian 419 Scam? In Michigan it's Your Local Treasurer

Never Try to Teach a Pig to Sing. It Wastes Your Time and Annoys the Pig. Teach it Piano Instead

Republican Lawmaker Wants To Ban Scuzzball Reporters From Visiting Anyone Who Just Suffered a Loss of Some Sort.

Republican Lawmaker Wants To Preapprove Movie Scripts

Old and Busted: Y2K Problems. New Hotness: Early Daylight Saving Time Problems

Peta Kills Animals

7 Things You Didn't Know About Peta

Italian Court Says Downloading Is OK You Don't Do It For Profit. Let's All Move To Rome!

Tom Cruise Presented as The "Christ" of Scientology. Sometimes, You Gotta Say "What the Fuck?"

Idiot Wife Gives Husband Premiership Season Tickets for Birthday, but Waits Until Birthday -- 11 Games into the Season -- to Give Them To Him.

Reality Check: Did President Bush Keep Promises From 2006 State of the Union Address? (Need You Ask?)

Coming Soon To a Wal*Mart Near You: Fart-Filtering Pants

Evangelicals Think Their Sex Lives Are Best

Fuck Discount-Mats.com

The Forty 2007 NFL Draft Underclassmen

College Basketball Rankings: USC Cracks Top 25 For First Time Since 2002

Film About Animal Lovers Premieres at Sundance Film Festival. Not Just Lovers. Loooovers.

Iran: We Haven't Yet Made a Nuke That Can Take Out Israel With One Blast. Not That There's Anything Wrong With That.

Razor Burn Becoming the Scourge of HD Porn

Spain Denies Citizenship To Woman With Name Officials Think To Be Silly

Beachcomber Taking Everything They Can Steal

Bush Sends Secret Service After Old Geezer Who Wrote Letter to Editor Saying, in Hanging Saddam, "We Hung The Wrong Man"

Why Aliens Haven't Found Us Yet

Sarkisian Tells the Raiders Thanks, But No, Thanks.

An IQ Map of the World, as Written by Some Aussie-Hating Chinese Guy

In Defense of Tigger

After 52 Years of Marriage, Mr. & Mrs. Roy Disney Are Getting a Divorce

California Wants to Criminalize Parents Spanking Their Kids

Megachurch Leaders Find New Use For Bible: Smuggling Cash

Judge Withdraw From Case Where Woman Is Accused of Selling 8-Year-Old Daughter To Undercover Cop for Sex Because The Accused Is Judge's Fiance

CAIR Claims That Islamic Terrorists on TV Show 24 Stoke Anti-Muslims Sentiments. Actual Violence and Murder by Islamic Terrorists Have Nothing To Do With It.

USC Defeats #12 Arizona

"Say, Let's Steal These GPS Devices and Run Away. Nobody Will Ever Find Us."

Another Trial, Another Tax Protester Gets Convicted

NBC Rates The Top Ten College Football Games of 2007. #1: USC @ Nebraska

You Know That Bullshit Psychic on Montel? She Told The Family of That Recently Rescued Kidnap Victim That He Was Dead. Four Years Ago. And Offered to Help Find His Body for $1,400 an Hour

Miami To Ban All Residential Parties Over $15 Guests and $100 Worth of Gifts

Secret Compartment in Ron Mexico's Water Bottle Smells Like Weed. Investigation Is Undeway.

Old and Busted: "I Tested Positive for Steroids Because My Teammate Trainers Slipped Me The Clear." New Hotness: "I Tested Positive for Steroids Because My Girlfriend's Vaginal Cream Has Steroids and I Maybe Swallowed a Little."

The Final Rivals 100 Football Prospect List Is Out. Three of Top Twelve Are Committed to USC

ESPN Says College Athletes Should Get Paid. My $140,000 in Student Loans Jump Up And Point Out That Scholarship Athletes Do Get Paid.

Super Bowl Ad to Show K-Fed Going From Rap Videos to Burger Flipping

TV Activists Pissed About Fan on TV With F*ck da Eagles Shirt, Because Their Kids Never Hear That Word Except on NFL Broadcasts.

DJs Fired After Contestant Drinks Water To Death

Stop Me If You Think You've Heard This One Before. Football Player. Stabbing. Bloody Glove.

The Census Bureau's Explanation For the Local Cougar Population Explosion

Old and Busted: Slutty Bride of Dracula. New Hotness: One or The Other of The Olsen Twins

Castro Reportedly In Grave. Check That. He's In Grave Condition

Schottenheimer Finds Even More Creative Ways To Lose a Playoff Game

Proof That Life Is Sometimes Sorrier Than Fiction: The Gutless Tourist Wins a Date With the Mystery Tube Guy

Rivals.com Predicts Where The Top Prospects Will Head For College

"Museum" Shows How Dinosaurs Roamed The Garden of Eden

Like an Old School Prince, Harry Prepares To Go To War

Iraq Hangs The Five of Clubs

How Thieves Will Drain Your Grandmother's Gift Card

How O.J. Did It. Spoiler: He Did It Because The Dog Wagged Its Tail At Ron, Proving That Ron Had Been There Before

Court Finds That Consensual Sex During Any Other Felony (i.e., Drug Stuff) Equals Sex Crime

UCLA Bruins 65 USC 64

NCAA Basketball - UCLA Bruins/USC Trojans Recap Saturday January 13, 2007 - Yahoo! Sports

'Virgin Mary' Seen In Grocery Store Freezer's Ice Dildo

Losing Brain Cells in College: It's Not Just For Stoners and Drunks

Barry Bonds Changes Story; Denies He Is a Drug Thief.

Boy Missing Since 2002 Found Alive

Tsunami alerts issued following huge quake - CNN.com

Duke Professor (Whose Own Son Was Shot Escaping From Prison After a Rape Conviction) Quits School Committees to Protest of Readmission of Falsely Accused Lacrosse Players

Hot Air Force Sergeant Does Playboy Spread In and Out of Her Uniform. Officer Replies That Her Action "does not meet the high standards we expect of our airmen."

The Coolest Picture of a Bug That Looks Like a Leaf

Teemu Selanne's Friend, Dying of Brain Cancer, Asks For the Puck From His Next Hat Trick. Selanne Responds With First Hat Trick Since 2001. Your Hockey Team's Coach Wishes His Players Had Buddies Dying of Cancer.

The 909 Got Some Snow This Morning. Even The Flatlanders.

Artifact Suggests That Modern Man Reached Europe 45,000 Years Ago

Arkansas to Guy Who Wasn't Really The Father: "Okay, You're Off the Hook From Now On. But You Still Have To Pay The Child Support Due Before We Discovered You Weren't The Dad." In Related News, Arkansas Child Support Orders Run About $24 a Week

"Give Me The Money, Pa-paw" - Masked Man Robs Grandfather; Grandson Denies He Was The One in the Mask

Truck Driver Tries To Take One for The Team

Dodgers To Let Fat Fans Eat All They Want for $35

Duke Rape Accuser Changes Story; Deletes One of Three Alleged Attackers; Wavers on Whether an Actual Penis Was Involved; Still No Explanation of Her Cell Phone Call During Alleged Rape

News: Extradited Cop Killer Appears in Pomona Court. Not News: I Appeared in Pomona Court Today, Too.

Drug Dispute Allegedly Leads to home Invasion Murder of PC World Editor

Student Turns In Kiddie-Porn CD Instead of Final Exam. His Response: "Oh snap, I am sorry ... and hope it didn't affect the grade at all."

WWJD? How About "What Would Social Services Do About Jesus?"

Actually Headline: "Butt-Print Teacher Out On His Ass

PSA: If a Meteor Lands Inside Your House, Some Ignorant Cop Will Think It's His

PSA: If You Carry Around Condoms Stuffed With Flour, The Cops Will Initially Believe That It's Not Flour in Those Condoms

Rehnquist Withdrew Was On Drugs and Thought The Voices Were Out to Get Him

The Hypocrite's Guide To Green Driving

RIAA Lawsuits Might Yield Only Actual Damages: $0.70 Per Song

Astronomers Find Diamond The Size of Earth. If You Can Invent a Teleporter, Maybe You Could Break Off a Piece For Your Fiance

PSA: If You Want to Scam People, Oldham in England Is a Good Place to Look For Mugus.

Tigger Responds: "It Was Self-Defense."

New Jersey To Amend Constitution to Let "Idiots" Vote For The First Time. In Related News, The Movement of Give Michael Moore To Right to Vote in All 50 States is One Step Closer.

USC's Jarrett to Announce at 2 p.m. That He's Going For Some NFL Lettuce

How To find Your British Ancestors: Check the Ship Registries Online

Coming Soon To a Courtroom Near You: The "Sorry I Raped You, But I Thought You Were The Lady Whose Husband Owed Me Money" Defense

British Prosecutor Who Has Never Heard of Trespassing Laws Declares That There Is No Law Available To Prosecute Man Who Entered Woman's House, Performed Sex Act on Her Bed, But Didn't Steal Anything.

Officials Are Surprises to Learn That a Cripple On Full Disability Can Run a Pretty Swift Marathon

Bitch Who Tosses Her Kids Into The Bay Gets Acquitted of Murder

Cheerleader Scandals. No Further Words Needed.

I Went To New York and Got To Sniff This Giant Bull's Bronze Bunghole.

Tigger Slugs Kid At Disney World

Black Congressional Caucus Gives Standing Ovation to Member Who Was Caught With $90,000 In Bribe Money in his Freezer

USC Beats Oregon, Leaving Only Two Unbeaten Teams in NCAA Hoops

You Too Can Go To M.I.T. For Free

LA judge freezes O.J. Simpson money - Yahoo! News

Jim Lampley is arrested in domestic violence case - Orlando Sentinel : Top Sports Jim Lampley is arrested in domestic violence case - Orlando Sentinel : Top Sports

Duke Prosecutor Charged With Ethics Violations

Why and How 2006 Sucked

Billionaire's $200,000,000 Back Tax Payment Puts California Back In The Black

"God" Blows Smoke Up Pat Robertson's Ass for 2007 Predictions

Scientists Predict End to Religion

All-SEC Freshman Receiver Damian Williams to Transfer to USC From Arkansas

Accused Duke Lacrosse Players Invited Back

Saddam Video Leak Pisses Off Pansy-Asses Worldwide

Saddam on Death Row: Read Poetry and Fed Birds. Says He Never Murdered Anyone of Gassed Kurds.

Gas Cooker Destroys Island, Leaves Behind Incredible Aerial Photo

December Demiblog Links

Here were the Demi-Blog links for December:

Scary Santas

Airline Ban Bibles, So As Not To Offend Potential Hijackers

Behold! The Restaurant Where You Decide What, or Whether, To Pay.

Inmate A Sneaks One Past a Turd. Inmate B Beats the Turd Out of Him

"Miss Nevada Stripped of Title." The Last Two Words Were a Bit Superfluous, We Know.

James Brown Dies Christmas Morning.

Ay! I Feel Good. (Not!)

Photos Prove Katie Ries To Be a Bisexual Exhibitionist. And That Makes Her a Poor Choice For Miss Nevada USA 2007, How Again?

USC Hoops > #8 Wichita State Hoops

Accused Teen Wants To Keep That Bullet in His Head

Not News: Man-Child Love Advocate Found in Possession of Kiddie Porn

Minor Has Sex With Minor and Gets 10 Years In Prison

Second-Life: You Can Make a Million in Real Money, But Your Media Time Will Be Interrupted by Flying Penises

God Forgives. DAs Do Not. Former Priest Michael Baker in Court To Face More Pedo Charges.

GoldmanSachs Paying Out $622,000 AVERAGE Bonuses

Gift Cards, The Gift That Keeps On Not Giving

Man Does Not View Kiddie Porn. No, See, It's His Teenaged Multiple Personality, Who Likes To Look at Kids His Own Age

Time Magazine's Person of the Year Is a Collection of Drunken Fat People Who Don't Vote

Conceived For Parts Only: Babies Murdered to Order

What Do Stiffler's Pale Ale and Your Kid's School's Salad Dressing Have In Common?

IRS outlines new rules on deductions - Yahoo! News

Somehow, K-Fed Taking His Kids To Disneyland Is Now News.

The Best Frivolous Lawsuit Ever.

Should Borat Win an Oscar? Jagshemesh.

Lesbian Twin Teachers Busted For Student Sex. You Can Tell Which Is Which Because One Has a Forehead and One Has a Fivehead

Nebraska on $150,000 a Year? Impossible.

Dollar Tree Employee Locks Up and Rapes 4 Year Old Customer

No, Virginia, There Is No Santa. Jabba the Hutt, However, Is Very Real

Robber's Finger Gun Plot Foiled as He Sticks His Thumb Out of the Pocket

World of Warcraft: A View From the Top by a Temporary Gamer Geek

In Case You Forgot, the Baby Jesus Was Not a Little White Guy

Mariah Carey Sues Porn Star Mary Carey for Trademark Violation, Claiming No Other "Actress" Can Whore Around With the Name Carey

The Condemned Is Apparently So Wicked, Florida Decided to Execute Him Twice

Dinner With the Governor of Louisiana. I'd Buy That For a Dollar, Since It Seems to be the Going Rate

Before We Hunt For This Buried Treasure, We Need To Give a $100,000 Curse Offering, Ok?

Iran President: There Was No Holocaust. Yet. But He's Working On It.

PSA: You Can't Take The Heisman Trophy on an Airplane, Because, You Know, What If The Terrorists Got Their Hands on One?

World's Oldest Person Dies. Again.

If You Move to a Place Named Penistone, You Shouldn't Be Surprised by a Phallic Christmas Tree, But People Are.

PSA: If You Get Dragged Under By a Great White Shark, Try To Hold Onto Your Board. It Could Save Your Life. And Maybe Even Your Board.

Bermudans get Tidal Wave Panic Fever As Large Surf Pounds The Outer Reefs

Muslim Boy Pisses on Bible and Gets Expelled. Father Blames School For Failing to Control The Little Shit.

PSA: If Your Truck Driving School's Students Aren't Interested in Learning How To Back Up, They Might Be Terrorists.

La Migra To Determine Whether Baby Popped Out While The Plane Was Over U.S. Soil

Another Self-Loathing Gay Colorado Preacher Falls Out of the Closet

Teacher: Kids, There Is No Santa. Administration: Teacher, There Is No Job Left Here For You.

Did the Beating Death of Jeffrey Dahmer Deny Christianity Its Next Great Leader?

Nicole Richie Arrested For DUI. Witnesses Saw Her Drink a Third of a Glass of Wine, Which Would Be No Big Deal For Anybody Over 35 Pounds, But...

Idiot #1: "Does Anyone Here Have a Problem With Me Bringing a Live Cougar to a 4-Year-Old's Party?" All The Other Idiots: "Uh, No, What Could Go Wrong?"

Black Man Crosses Freeway at 1:00 a.m. in Black Sweats, Black Shoes, Black Hat. Amazingly, The Drivers Who Ran Him Over Never Saw Him.

Coming Soon to a Mall Near You: Islamic Terrorists With Grenades

Survey Finds That Indian Men Have Little Boy Penises

News, But Not New: Cops Beating The Crap Out of Latino and White Kids. New: People Care Because It's Available On Video.

Christians Not So Happy About Religious Flyers Going Home With Schoolkids, Now That The Pagans Are Doing It, Too.

Cop Tasers Cop. The Pig Had It Coming.

In England, You Can Be Fined £125 For Eating Your Big Mac Too Slowly

James Kim Found Dead in the Snow

Thirteen Year Old Sex Crime Victim Accused of Sex Crime. Her Victim/Attacker Was 12.

Nazi Death Camp Getting a Makeover

40% of World's Wealth Owned by Top 1% of Population. To Be in the Club, You Need $500,000 in Assets.

Shop Owner Welcomes New Muslim Overlords By Holding Weekly Pig Races

Iran President Writes to American People. Did You Get Your Copy?

Chester Claims Moral Superiority Because He Only Molests Girls Older Than Seven

Don't Worry About Europe Becoming "Eurabia." The Ethnic Cleansers Will Eventually Get The Job Done.

That World of Warcraft Player Who Just Kicked Your Ass? She Might Be a Middle-Aged College Professor.

Is IRS Taxation of Virtual Assets Inevitable?

So, This One Time, At Moon Camp....

Iran to Its People: "You Can't Handle the Truth"

Reggie Bush Scores Four TDs Against 49ers. A Guy Like That Might Have Been Useful Against UCLA...

Act of God Strands Westboro Baptist "God Hates Fags" Protesters

Michigan Bill Would Make It a Crime To Break Up Your Pregnant Girlfriend

If Your Teacher Is Naked And Smashing His Laptop With a Hammer, You Can Make a Quick Buck By Betting a Classmate He Has Kiddie Porn

Can Cell Phone Ringtones Can Kill You?

People Freaking Out Over Congressman Taking Oath on Quran. Solution? Don't Vote For The Muslim Next Time

Life Imitates "The Notebook"

The Ultimate Video Game. Like GTA, But Jesus Is Your Gangsta Leader

Want People To Make a Movie About You? Just Convince a Horse To Butt Rape You To Death, and You're In.

Abortion Drug Can Prevent Breast Cancer. But First, Ask Your Pastor. He Might Tell You Jesus Wants You To Get Breast Cancer

You Thought Your Guacamole Had Avocado in it? How Cute.

If You've Been Educating Females, The Taliban Would Lke to Speak to You. And Disembowel You. And Rip Your Arms and Legs Off and Post Your Body Parts As a Warning To Other Infidels.

The November Demiblog

Some are probably dead already, and many more will be gone soon, but here were the Demi-Blog links for November:

Listen to This 911 Call About a Man Becoming a Gator Snack

Australian Fisherman Survives Border Skirmish With Stingray

Illegal Aliens Killing More Americans Than The Iraq War. The Outrage Zips Its Lips, Says It's Not Racist.

'Borat' proves unlucky for real Kazakh TV crew

OBGYN Says Starlets Should Put Their Panties On

Britney's Crotch Shots Are All The Rage

Detained Imams Didn't Just Pray.

Ex-Judge To be Sentenced For His Kiddie Porn Stash. Lex Suggests: Three Days in the General Prison Population.

It's Close, But Atheism Kills More People Than Religious Zealotry

World's Oldest Looking 31 Year Old Gets Busted For Having Sex With Her Students, Allegedly

Matt Leinart Breaks NFL Record for Passing Yards (405) by a Rookie

PETA Complains About Church's Living Nativity, Which, Oddly Enough, Has No Animals In It

Sometimes, a Burglary Advances the Greater Social Good. Like When The Burglar Finds His Victims Stash of Kiddie Porn

Vatican Furious That Young Actress Portraying Mary Is Pregnant And Unmarried

What Have You Done For Us Lately? College Football's Fifth Winningest Active Coach Fired For 6-6 Season

Not a Typo: Bobby Bowden Blames eBay For Jeff Bowden's Failure.

President Bush's Daughter Robbed in Argentina. In Related News, The Cute Daughter Has Gotten Fat.

Disney World's Expedition Everest Gets a Dusting of Real Snow.

Apparently, If You Make Porn Movies and Then Kill Your Kid or Sell Him to the Pornographers and Then Kill Yourself, It's Probably Nancy Grace's Fault

Chimps Are Not Chesters

What Your Pastor Wishes He Could Tell You, You Gay Basher

In Three Minutes, Michael Richards Offends Everyone Except Mel Gibson

What Does This Dora Explore?

Why Women Do Not Always Make The Best Soldiers: Woman in Israeli Army Gets Permission to Not Carry Her Assault Rifle Because It Leaves Bruise Marks on Her Legs

Headline: "Tomb of Aztec Emperor May Lie in Mexico." Reaction: Just Think of All That Time We Wasted Looking for it in Russia.

Psst. Wanna See The Mugshot of a Feer Ducker? (Don't Worry, He Doesn't Do the Deer Unless Its Already Dead)

Will Women Pay Money To Be Ravaged by a Rapist? We'll Soon now.

Galen Center Debut Sees USC Defeat USC in OT. The Trojans Can Cover The Cocks in Regulation, But Eventually, They Failed.

Tsunami Warning Called Off Just in Time for Crescent City To Let Down Its Guard

Pakistan Hardliners to Protests That Dark Day in Islam That Let's a Man Rape a Woman if Three Men or Less Are There to Witness the Assault

Then: Nancy Pelosi Promises The Most Scandal-Free Congress Ever. One Week Later: Pelosi Proposes Leadership For Congressman Caught on Videotape in Abscam Bribery Scandal in the 80s. Hey, At Least It Lasted a Week.

New Pakistani Rape Law That Does Not Require Woman To Produce Four Male Witnesses to the Rape Is Denounced by Muslim Leaders as a "Dark Day" For Islam.

Guinness World Records on Yahoo! News Photos

Federline Disproves Rumors of His Illiteracy By Writing Note on Shower Stall Door

Yet Another Reason Not To Meet Your Next Date on a Suicide Web Page. He Might Think He's Doing You a Favor by Strangling You.

Japanese Coastline Slammed by 16" Tsunami

Bamboozled By Borat. The Smoking Gun Suggests These Kids Are Drunken Fools 24/7

Pope to Hold Summit On Whether Priests Who Have Sex Should Be Allowed To Marry.

Plutonium Found in Iran Waste Facility. World Punishes Iran By Politely Requesting an Explanation

KFed Selling the Britney Sex Tape? No One Is Ready to Doubt It.

PSA: Telling a Donor That His $20 Million Donation Was Getting Him Naming Rights "On The Cheap" Could Cost Your School $20 Million

Flash Photo Taken At Night Beneath a Moth Reveals? "It's Got a Head, Wings, Legs, and if That Doesn't Look Like an Angel, I Don't Know What Does"

Lindsay Lohan's Shirt Tells People Where to Go. (Courtesy of Go Fug Yourself)

Students Ban Pledge of Allegiance

FBI Probe's L.A. Cops after Beatdown Shows Up on YouTube. No Riots In the Streets, Though, Because The Victim Was Not Black

Election Results Are In And The Terrorists Win. Al Qaeda Takes a Victory Lap Over Rumsfeld Resignation.

Racist Frat Boys Make Lawsuits For Get Borat Money

This Guy Is Maybe Real Borat. High Five!

We Don't Have Rick Santorum To Kick Around Anymore

Memo to 14,000 Evangelicals: Your Leader Turned Out To Be Sleazier Than His Meth-Selling Gay Prostitute

So, This Chick Makes Porn With You Little Boy. Her Ex-Boyfriend Pulls a "Look at The Crazy Shiat This Bitch Is Doing" and Somehow He's Now The Pornographer

Well, That's One Less Would-Be Child Rapist at the D.A.'s Office

And Sometimes, That Suspicious Briefcase That The Bomb Squad Is About To Blow Up Is Nothing But a Box Full of Poop

PSA: You Can Indeed Get Fired For Using The Phrase "Fat Lesbian" To Describe a Fat Lesbian

Shrink Wrap Your Way To a New Life

God Ignores Letters From Believers, Leaves Them Floating in the Ocean

Neil Patrick Harris Denies Rumors That He Is Not Gay

Naked Parolee Arrested For Abusing Himself in Public With a Taped Awl in His Arse

Kevin Federline Cracks the Top 2000

Would An Extra $20 Convince You To Vacation in Iran?

Remember Those Elmo Dolls Offered on Ebay For $5 Million? Here's Why They Might Not Have Been Kidding.

Almond Broker Exposes Illegal Nuts

The October DemiBlog

Some are probably dead already, and many more will be gone soon, but here were the Demi-Blog links for October:

Tale of Two Brothers: Brother Succeeds, Causes Brother to Fail. Failed Brother Ends Up Pitching New Team To World Series Title.

No Halloween for Paroled Sex Offenders, Especially The Ones Who Got Drunk Last Halloween and Peed Against an Alley Wall

Ban on Black Cat Adoptions Thwarts Satanists. In Related News, Adoptions of Goats, Pigs, and Chickens Enjoy Temporary Bursts of Activity

Republicans Get Ready To Have Michael J. Fox Humanely Destroyed

David Eckstein Wins Series MVP. That 2002 Angels Team Just Keeps on Winning.

Nicole Richie, Having Never Heard of Pizza Hut or McDonald's, Checks Into Hospital To Gain Weight

Man Molests Girlfriend's Dead Decomposing Dog. As In, He Had a Girlfriend, But Chose To Do Her Dead Dog.

Cremation of 600 Pound Guy Causes Grease Fire

Just When You Thought Rush Limbaugh Couldn't Be a Bigger Dick...

Ohio Executes God's Prophet

Student Newspaper Distributed With The Part About Low Test Scores Cut Out

Bad North Korea Sent To Bed With No Supper.

New Style Atheists: "Religion Is Evil."

Suicide Bombers. In It Mostly For The Afterlife Trim?

Meet The Singerl Twins. One's Dark. One's Light. Same Mom. Same Dad.

Seriously, Who Thought That Those Pro-Wal*Mart Blogs Weren't Paid For By Wal*Mart?

School Suspends Students For Bringing Spicy Hot Sauce To School

God Proves His Existence Again By Dropping Two Limbs onto a Jesus Statue and Busting Its Fingers. But It Looks Like a Cross, Folks.

China's Yellow River Turns Red, Makes Appointment to See Urologist

Go Ahead and Commit Any Sin. If Jeff Dahmer Can Get Into Heaven, Anyone Can

Death Row Inmate Kills Self 15 Hours Before Execution. Officials Wonder Why, Since He Had So much To Live For

Police Say 2 Year Old Girl Wasn't Molested by Neighbor. Findings Come Too Late For Neighbor, Who Was Promptly Killed by Angry dad

Lineman Writes Funny.

Raping 10 Women: Russian President Wishes He'd Have Thought of It First

The Ultimate "No Good Deed Goes Unpunished" Story

Bitter Green Bay Fan Charged With Making False Dirty Bomb Threats

Priest Admits He Molested Foley. Bonus: He's Still an Active Priest

Chest Stabbings by Stingrays Increase Another 100%

Coming Soon to a County Fair Near You: Deep Fried Coke

Pics From the Crocodile Hunter's Last Stingray Hunt

50 States, Ranked From Smartest to Dumbest. Southwest States Make Up 3 or 4 Dumbest. Coincidence?

It's Official. Dying Got Ken Lay Out of His Felony Record. No Word on Whether OJ Is Considering Such Options

Constituent's Letter To Senator Paul Sarbanes (D. Maryland)

Roofer Nails His Own Balls To The Roof

Another Reason LA Doesn't Care About Getting an NFL Team

PSA: Your Teen Is Waaaaayyy Sluttier Than You Think S/He Is

Being Rich Does Not Necessarily Mean You Are Not An Idiot. Exhibit B

May It Please The Court: My Ass Is Too Fat For You To Let Them Put Me To Sleep

Jagshemesh! Kazakhstan Misspells "Bank" On Bank Notes

In New Jersey, Not Even The New York Mayor's Car Is Safe From The Carjackers

Lawmaker Tells Students She Wouldn't Kick Arnold Out Of Bed, Then Blames The Parents For Not Stopping Her

PSA: When the Game You Are Announcing Turns Into The Ugliest Brawl in College Football History, "That's What I'm Talking 'Bout!" Is Not The Commentary Your Bosses Are Looking For.

Cardinals Kicker Chokes, Giving Cardinals One of the All-Time Worst Chokes in NFL History

Tara Reid Seeks to Repair Her Nasty Teets

Orange County Grand Jury Indicts Azzam The American for Treason

Rod Bernsen is a Pedophile, Allegedly.

Old and Busted: Yankees Crash and Burn Against Detroit. New Hotness: One Yankee Crashes and Burns Against a NY City Highrise.

PSA: Don't Use Poolsticks in Shallow Water. And If You Do, Don't Jump in Anus-First.

The Religion of Peace Complains That Apple's NY Fifth Avenue Store Is An Insulting Immitation of Mecca Because Feature a Cube-Shaped Structure

Police "Protect" Car Owners From Car Burglars By Putting Bright Stickers on Cars With Good Stuff In Them

"I Would Totally Trade My Kid for This Wedding Dress"

That Crazy Azz Wisconsin Professor Says Comparing Bush to Hitler "Would Be An Insult to Hitler."

You Can't Fight City Hall, But You Can Put Up A Sign Along The Freeway Calling Your Councilwoman a Whore

Someone Needs To Tell This Chick That Napkins Are Used While Eating a Meal, Not as a Cover for Your Bony Chest Plate

When You're Drunk, in a Fight With Your Man, and Can't Find Any Weapons Other Than Your 4-Month-Old Baby, What Would You Do?

Cheap Solution to Prison Violence: Pink

Captain & Coke Will Get You Drunk, But Captain & Diet Coke Will do It Faster

Now She Can End a Story With "And Then Lightning Came Out of My Arse" and It Won't Be Bullshit

This Cop Knows Marijuana Burgers When He Tastes Them

Now Any Jackass Can Be on a Bobblehead

Coming Soon To a Conflict Near You: Flying Killer Robot Insects

Could Your Kids Be Taught By This Tatted Freak?

Congress Getting Ready To "Probe Foley." Foley Responds: "So, You Got, What? Seven and a Half?"

Old and Busted: Disneyland's Tom Sawyer Island. New Hotness: Some Sort of Piratey Crap.

Billingsley Report on College Football, Your Top 5: Ohio State, USC, Oregon, Michigan, Auburn

Immigrant Activists Say Companies Are Racist If They Fire Workers With Bogus Social Security Numbers

Washington Huskies, #11?

God Smites Mishawaka Methodist Church

Pope To Third World Recruits: "Okay, Fine. Your Dead Newborn Won't Be Banished To Limbo. Now Join Our Church."

Freedom Means You Can Bag on Any Religion, As Long As It's Not Islam

The God Hates Fags Group Accepts Bribe of Radio Airtime In Exchange For Leaving the Grieving Amish Families Alone

Police Protecting "Mystical Tree" From Attacks By Skeptical Muslim Youths

What To Do With Teacher Who Yells "Who is your God? Jesus Christ? God is not your God - it is Allah" At Christmas Concert? Why, Promote Him to School Inspector General, Of Course.

PSA: Don't Go Around Telling People What Poison They Should Use To Commit Murder If Your Wife Is About To Turn Up, Poisoned To Death. Some Folks Might Notice.

Dateline NBC Catches a New Batch of Kiddie Chasers. Don't These Guys Watch TV?

The September DemiBlog

Some are probably dead already, and many more will be gone soon, but here were the Demi-Blog links for September:

Congressman Resigns Over Emails To Former Page. Not That There's Anything Wrong With That.

Racist Saudi Arabs Plan Fence to Block Immigrant Arabs

Next Time The Santa Anas Bring Fire To The Hills of The OC, Bring Some Doritos, 'Cause We're All Gonna Have The Munchies

What Do You Get When You Cross Soccer With The Javelin Toss?

World's Worst Cross-Dressers Try to Kite Checks at Wal-Mart

Come Meet the Bitch Who Is Willing to Face Prison For Her Right to Graze at the Grape Table

Liquid Cocaine Legalized.

Kowabunga, Dude, The 100 Foot Ride is Inevitable

How To Make a Lying Cop Pass Out on the Witness Stand: Produce The Secret Video of Him Beating The Suspect and Threatening to Remove the Suspect's Ear

Penis Recipient and Wife Reject 4-Inch Member From World's First Penis Donor

Pope To Convert to Islam? No? Then The Sword!

Michael Walsh Explains When The Pope Is Infallible.

Brent Musburger Spills The Beans About USC's Top Secret Hand Signal. Hang Loose = "We Are About To Go Deep on That Mini-Me Impersonator You're Running At Cornerback."

Maurice Clarett Goes To Prison. Now Miami REALLY Wishes They Had Recruited Him.

Heisman Watch: Quinn? Nah. Booty? Mmmmaybe.

Al-Qaeda To Pope: "How Dare You Call Us Violent? We Will Kill You All For That."

Miami Hurricanes Downgraded to Depression

Al-Qaida Tells All Muslims To Get Out of The U.S.

The Ol' Ball Coach Leads The Cocks to a Touchdown Victory Over Div I-AA Woolford

Muslim Leaders So Offended by Pope's Comments Linking Islam to Violence That They Plan To Blow Up Every Christian Church Unless He Takes It Back.

PSA: Just Because You Shove Your Captive in a 15 Foot Pit Doesn't Mean It's Safe To Leave Her There With a Text Messaging Device

Your Life Might Be Finiched, If You Eats Your Spinich, Says Popeye the Sailor Man

Murder Suspect Says He Didn't Kill His Brother. He Killed a Goat That Later Turned Into His Dead Brother

Smelley Won't Head The Cocks After All. Sports Editors Go "Aww, Shit!"

Reggie Bush & Family: Not Saints?

Never Mind. It Was a "Penis Pump" He Whispered, Not a "Penis Bomb." WTF Is a Penis Bomb?

Craigslist Hookers - A Bunch of Beasts Nobody With Eyes Would Ever Do Even for Free

Nancy Grace Drives Missing Kid's Mom to Suicide.

Woman Plots To Scam Insurance Company By Faking Her Own Death. When That Fails, Her Cohorts Decide To Really Kill Her.

Scorned Woman Stabs Philandering Lover. Her: Nun With Two Prior Abortions by Him. Him: A 79-Year-Old Priest.

Whitney Houston Divorces Bobby Brown After 14 Years of Crazy-Azz Weddedness

Judge Rules That Target.com Can Be Sued For Being Too Inaccessible to the Blind

College Students Can't Say Bad Things at Games Anymore

British Comic Portray's Idiot From Kazakhstan. And Somehow This Is Now George Bush's Fault

Triple Amputee Still Wants to Kick Your Ass

Then: The Plant Pluto. Now: Asteroid 134340

If You Can Hold Onto Your Nuts, You Might Be More Qualified To Work in Space Than The Current Shuttle Crew

Lindsay Lohan Flashes It All To The Paparazzi

Second String Punter Pulls a Trick Out of the Tonya Harding Book of Sportsmanship, Stabs First Team Kicker in the Leg.

Mom to Son: No Reefer For You Until You Finish Your Homework

Aussies to Stingrays: Ten of Yours For Every One of Ours

Grieving Wife Tries to Pickle Dead Husband's Pickle.

Ex-Con Claims To Be Jesus, and People Believe Him

Muslims Condemn Christian Church With Sign Offering to Let Muslims Convert to Christianity. No Outrage Over Muslim Leaders Calling on Christians to Convert to Islam or Die.

Look, Ma! No Eyes!

One in Three Trillion: N.Y. Woman Wins Lottery Again.

Court Says Consent To Search Your Person Does Not Mean The Cops Are Allowed To Find That Bottle of Coke Between Your Nuts and Your Thigh

Tressel: I Voted Texas #1 in That Confidential Coaches Poll. ESPN: He Voted For His Own Team, and Because He Talked About It, It's no Longer Confidential

Guy Dies on Amtrak, Stays on For Another 1,000 Miles To Save on Corpse Shipping Costs

Fresh Grave? Check. Shovels? Check. Condoms? Check. Complete Privacy? Doh!

Old Hotness: Paris Hilton Drives Apparently Drunk While Cameras Catch Her Hitting and Running. New and Busted: Paris Hilton Booked For DUI

Prisoners Shove Cell Phones All The Way Up Into Their Intestines. On Vibrate Mode, Of Course.

Louisville Freshman Welcome Postcards Feature Little F Words

Old and Busted: Colorado Getting Clobbered by Texas. New Hotness: Colorado Getting Clobbered by Montana State

Lance Armstrong Hooks Up With Paris Hilton, Sparking New Demands For Drug Testing

Just Call Him LaBronze James

Man Lives to be 112; Credits Junk-Food Diet. In Related News, Roseanne Barr Plans To Live To Be 120

Tom Sawyer Makes Like a Fox News Guy and Converts to Islam

PSA: When The "Alarm Inspector" Shows Up in a Car With the Doors Taped Shut, You Might Want To Ask For ID Before Letting Him Roam Your Building

Behold! The Floating House.

#1 High School Hoopster, Future Trojan OJ Mayo, Transfers From Ohio High School to West Virginia High School

The Irish Trojan Hits HBO

My second-favorite Notre Dame guy, Brendan Loy, was on Spike Lee's HBO documentary last night. I had to TiVo it while my girls watched a DVD of some horrible Hilary Duff movie, but eventually I got to it. Way to go, Brendan! And if you are coming to the USC Notre Dame game this year, drop me an email and come party with the Herd before the game.

[My favorite Notre Dame guy is former baseball letterman Harold "Hi" Lavalle.]

The July Demiblog

Some are probably dead already, and many more will be gone soon, but here were the Demi-Blog links for July:

Fast-Acting Poison Turns Live Pigeons Into Dead Projectiles

PSA: Some Cops Think There Is a Law Against Taking Cell Photos of a Public Spectacle

Evil Geniuses Use Frieds to Lull Seagulls Into The Street, Where They Meet Their Doom

Mel Gibson Busted for DUI, But It's Okay, Because He's Forgiven by God.

Man Praises Allah By Chopping Off Own Hand.

World's Largest Chevy Dealer Sells Car, Gets Seller's Remorse and Steals The Car Back.

Man Admits to 48 Murders

Teenagers Get High, Then Sick, From Bags of Mothballs. Apparently, They Never Heard of Beer.

Ready-to-do-Business Prostitute To Uniformed Police Officer in Unmarked Car: "No. Why, Are You The Cops?"

Landis Denies Doping Allegations. Friends Say His Elevated Testosterone Levels Are Due to the Fact That He Has Twice as Many Balls as the Previous 7 Winners

Danger Index For July: Soldiers Killed in Iraq - 36. Californians Killed by the Heat - 90

Colorado Governor: Mexicans Are Poor Because Their Cultural Values Do Not Include Education and Success. So?

Why Michael Jackson Might Never Return: Warrantless, Suspicionless Searches of Laptops Ok'd For Border Crossers.

Global Warming Hits Pluto. Al Gore Blames George Bush.

This One Time, At Band Camp, This Chick Felt The Urge To Push and a Baby Popped Out. So She Killed It.

Shockingly, Jury Finds That Mom Who Drowns Her Beloved Children So They Can Be in Heaven Might Have Been Insane.

PSA: If You've Ever Been Arrested For Alleged Sex Crimes, It Might Be Best To Pretend That Scientology Is a Real Religion

Lance Bass Reveals His Homosexuality. Surprisingly, No Other Member of 'NSync Admits To Being Gay.

China Evacuates 500,000 In Path of Typhoon Kaemi. New Orleans Slaps Head; Wonders Why It Didn't Think Of That.

Good Art: The Mona Lisa. Bad Art: An Inflatable Thing That Tosses Your Kid 150 Feet In The Air and Kills Grandma.

UCLA Gives Karl Dorrell a New Five-Year Contract, Making Both Bruin Fans and Trojan Fans Ecstatic

Only in Florida: Man Punches Hole In Windshield, Through Which He Chokes His Ex-Girlfriend.

Israel Attacks Lebanon, and Somehow George Bush Is To Blame For The Suffering of Animals There, Says PETA

Orlando Setting New Homicide Records, But Don't Panic. They Haven't Killed a Tourist Yet.

Now That Sodomy Is Constitutionally Protected, Court Sees No Reason To Uphold Ban on Living In Sin

English Bishop Declares Buying a Big Car and Flying Off For a Vacation Are Sins.

Pig Shit Can Clean Up Heavy Metal Contamination in Lakes. What Can It Do For Your Teenager's Room?

Foothead

Scientists Reach Deep Into Their Asses And Pull Out: "Fear of Snakes Drove Evolution of Primate's Eyes"

Old and Busted: Invading Iraq For Oil. New Hotness: Invading Spain For Plankton

First Married Lesbians Break Up

Juror Gives Judge a Donut. Now, The Convicted Child Molester Might Go Free

Huffing Gold Paint Must Be Really Awesome.

Disable Advocated Complain That Able Bodied People Are Using Scooters, Too.

Congress Trying To Rule on Constitutionality of Pledge. Courts Respond by Promising To Start Passing Bills.

Australian Wine Is Now Cheaper Than Water.

Coroner Declares That Ken Lay Died of Heart Disease. In Related News, Ken Lay Had a Heart.

Fear of Needles Leads Condemned Man to Choose the Electric Chair

What Do You Call a Guy With No Arms and No Legs on a Stage?

Family Vacations in Lebanon. What Could Possibly Go Wrong?

Actual Headline: "Cornholing Tourney Planned in Terry." Terry Last Seen Running As Fast As She Can in the Other Direction.

Fiji Water Co. Ad Rips Cleveland; Cleveland Answers: "Check Under Your Microscope. Our Tap Is Cleaner Than That Crap You Bottled."

As If The Irish Don't Have Enough Troubles, Now They Have a Runaway Circus Kangaroo on the Loose

Steering Malfunction Causes Cruise Ship To List Badly, Though No One Falls Overboard. Explain That One, Mr. "My Wife Just Fell Over On That Other Cruise" Guy.

Pro-Life Groups Buy Abortion Centers And Close Them Down

Lawyer Steals Inheritance From Clients, Then Pisses It Away in Nigerian Email Scam

Newsroom Removes Link For Interview With "Mike Litoris"

Mr. Coors Drives Drunk and Loses His License.

Next Shuttle Explosion To Be Delayed At Least One Mission.

Bush Suggests That Hamas Simply Stop Doing "All This Shit." Whoops, Was That a Microphone, Sir?

Unconvicted Felons in Congress Object to Including Convicted Felons in Their Retirement Dinner

Indonesia Tsunami Kills At Least 86. No Warning System Was In Place Because No One Could Have Possibly Foreseen a Tsunami in the Indian Ocean.

USC Wide Receiver Whitney Lewis Is Now Northern Iowa Wide Receiver Whitney Lewis

Now We Have To Wait Until We're 84 To Become The World's Oldest Pro Ballplayer

Aljazeera Giggles Over Wisconsin's Decision To Let Part Time College Lecturer Spread Lies About 9/11

Mom: Would You Jump Off A Cliff Just Because Someone Else Did? Police: Sure, Why Not?

Disney In The Morning: An Undiagnosed Autistic Star?

Terrorists Blow Up Indian Train Before Realizing It's Not an American Indian Train

Italy Wins World Cup on Penalty Kicks. In Related News, NBA Officials Announce Plans To Replace Extra Overtimes With Free Throw Shooting Contests

Artificial Sperm = New Live Mice. Darwinists Predict That Evolution Will Cause All Our Penises To Fall Off Within The Next 200,000 Years

Boy to Enter Kindergarten as Girl, So As To Avoid Awkwardness.

If You Are a Presbyterian, All That Worship of The Father, Son, and Holy Spirit Was For Naught. It Was Actually The "Compassionate Mother, Beloved Child, and Life-Giving Womb," Silly.

Then: Joe Biden Makes Racist Remarks, Ending With "I'm Not Joking." Now: After Criticism, He Says He Was Joking.

Michael Jackson Soon to Be Ireland's Problem

PSA: It's Against the Law To Edit Movies To Take Out The Dirty Parts

Good News: That Dude Who Wanted To Trade One Red Paperclip Succeeded. Bad News: It's in Canada. Consolation: He Already Lives In Canada.

Parents in Cameroon Iron Their Daughters' Breasts So That No Rapist Would Desire Them

Cleric From The "Religion of Peace" Calls For Death To People Who Do Not Pray Five Times a Day

England Fights Terrorism by Fining People £80 For Saying "Shit"

So This Other Time, At Band Camp....

USC Lands Nation's Top Basketball Recruit for 2007

The Smells That Make You a Dangerous Driver. Oddly, Vomit From The Passenger Behind Is Not On The List.

K.Fed Claims That He Meant For People To Mock His First Single, So That We'd All be So Impressed With His Improvement in The Next Single.

The Real Lesson of Enron: Felony Conviction + Appeal + Massive Coronary = Burial As a Non-Felon.

NBA Player Watches Porn While Driving Drunk. Shockingly, This Resulted in an Accident.

Keira Knightley Says She Is Not Anorexic. She Just Doesn't Eat.

Keira Knightley says she is not anorexic - Yahoo! News

No Twisters in Central Nebraska Through End of June. That Hasn't Happened in a Half Century. Al Gore Blames Global Warming.

How Pat Robertson Leg Pressed 2,000 Pounds

Patrick Stewart Gets No Wiccan Pentagram on His Grave

The Religion Of Peace Compels The Faithful to Kill Two For Watching Forbidden World Cup Broadcasts

Limbaugh Gets Off

So, Like, I Was Just Standing There, And Part of My Skull Fell Off

Illegal Alien/Fogducker Asks: Who Cares? It's My Dog.

Clarissa Grows An Extra Chin

Old and Busted: Petroleum. New Hotness: Algae

Town Decides That Unmarried Couples Should Live Apart If They Have More Than One Kid

How Not To Gracefully Decline a Job Offer

Michigan Court: Because Downloading Porn "Makes" It On Your Computer, You Are All Pornmakers

Judge's Trial Includes Discussion of Penis Suppositories

Lotto Officials Bust Store Clerk Who Couldn't Remember Details About Buying His Winning Ticket

The Babies Whose Birth Got Their Married Mom Fired

Is Ken Hughes Looking for You?

The 60 Greatest NBA Playoff Moments

Molotov *censored*tail Attack

God Might Smite Your Retinas If You Look At This Picture

One Hook Catches 56 Sharks At Once

And The #1 Thing You Should Never Leave Behind After Robbing a Bank ... Your Birth Certificate

France Forgets To Surrender to Brazil in World Cup Play